The Pirate Who's Back in Bunny Slippers Read online

  Map

  Dedication

  For Aisling and Nadine

  Contents

  Map

  Dedication

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Back Ad

  Excerpt from Shivers!: Book III

  Credits

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  TWO MINUTES.

  The countdown had begun. One minute, fifty-nine seconds. One minute, fifty-eight seconds. Shivers the Pirate started to panic. Time was running out. He spotted an old pizza box on the counter. “Perfect!” he said, picking it up to use as a shield. At a time like this, he thought, anything could come flying at my head.

  One minute, thirty seconds.

  The sound was going to be ear-splitting—which was terrifying to Shivers. He already had two ears and he didn’t need any more! He swiped two fluffy sponges from the sink and taped them to his head to protect against the sound.

  One minute.

  He opened his cabinet and pulled out eight sacks of sugar and stacked them into a protective and delicious wall. He crouched behind the barrier, bracing himself for the worst.

  Thirty seconds.

  Something was missing! Shivers carefully peeked his head up and looked around the kitchen. Sitting on the table in his fishbowl was Shivers’s first mate, Albee. Albee was happily munching away at his breakfast fish flakes, completely unaware of the chaos that was about to unfold.

  Ten seconds.

  “I’ll save you, buddy!” Shivers cried, leaping out from behind the wall and running across the kitchen. He pulled Albee’s bowl to his side, cradling it like a football. “Here it comes!” he shouted, diving behind the wall just as he heard the first BOOM! He held the pizza box over his head and did what he did best: he screamed.

  The explosions were in full force now. Shivers clutched Albee tightly. “We’re going to make it through this,” Shivers assured him. “And if things get out of hand, I have a backup plan.” Shivers held up two garbage bags that they could use to parachute out the porthole.

  The explosions were happening even faster now, and after each one, Shivers let out a little scream. So it sounded something like this:

  POP! POP! POP!

  Then, just when it seemed like the explosions couldn’t get any louder, Shivers heard the sound he had been waiting for all along, the ring of sweet freedom that mean the battle was over: DING! He collapsed on the floor in a heap of sweaty relief. Finally, his breakfast was ready.

  Shivers took the popcorn bag out of the microwave and settled in at the table, placing Albee on the chair next to him. “That was scary,” Shivers said, tossing a kernel into his mouth. “But delicious. Want a piece?”

  “Definitely not. Fish flakes for life!” said Albee. But because he was underwater, and because he’s a fish, it just came out looking like a few air bubbles. Shivers plopped a tiny piece of popcorn into Albee’s bowl and it sank to the bottom.

  Shivers smiled. His belly was full of popcorn. His trusted bunny slippers were on his feet. And most importantly, he was back safely at New Jersey Beach on his trusty pirate ship, the Land Lady. The Land Lady was a special pirate ship designed entirely by Shivers. It had more sunflowers than swords and more top hats than treasure. Instead of being stocked with cannons, it was filled with cans of peaches—which, he had determined through a series of tests, was the softest, friendliest fruit. But what really made the Land Lady special was the fact that it was planted safely in the middle of the beach and, if Shivers had anything to say about it, would never leave the land again. You see, his ship was almost lost on his last adventure. Which was also his first adventure. And, Shivers was hoping, his only adventure.

  Shivers squealed as he heard someone kick open the front door of his ship.

  Standing in the doorway with a wild look in her big green eyes was his best friend, Margo Clomps’n’Stomps. She was Shivers’s best friend for three reasons. Number One: She helped him rescue his parents when they were trapped in the Statue of Liberty. Number Two: She was one of the few people he wasn’t terrified of talking to. And Number Three: She always brought snacks.

  “Margo! I’m so glad you’re here,” Shivers said. “Did you bring snacks?”

  Margo began, “Of course, but—”

  “Great!” Shivers said, leading her into the kitchen. “We’ve got so much to do today! First, we have to organize my seashell collection from least to most threatening and get rid of the ones with sharp edges. Those things are really starting to freak me out.”

  “Shivers—” she tried to interrupt.

  But Shivers inter-interrupted. “Then, it’ll be time for a snack-nap, which either involves sleeping in the pantry or snacking in bed. I haven’t decided yet.”

  “Shivers, listen—”

  “And then, if we’re feeling really bold, we can figure out which of my new rubber duckies would serve as the best flotation device in case of a bathtub flood.”

  Margo seized Shivers by the shoulders and shouted, “WE HAVE A PROBLEM!”

  Shivers shivered. Problems were not his strength. Actually, they were. Solutions were not his strength.

  Margo pulled a newspaper out of her big green backpack. She tossed the newspaper on the table and Shivers screamed. “AGGGH! Do we need to swat a fly?! Stay right where you are. I’ve got a pizza box that works great as a shield.”

  “No, Shivers,” she said, holding up the front page of the paper. “Look!”

  Shivers was shocked to see a picture of himself. For a moment, he thought his outstanding song and dance routines had finally made the news, but then he read the headline.

  Shivers didn’t understand why this was a problem. This picture showed him saving his parents and the rest of the pirates from the evil French chef Mustardio. Mustardio had trapped pirates inside the statue and forced them to make hot dogs—until Shivers came to the rescue.

  Margo explained, “After we freed the pirates, the police came to find out what happened and they figured out that the Treasure Torch was gone.”

  “Not the Treasure Torch again!” Shivers groaned.

  The Treasure Torch is the most valuable treasure in the Seven Seas, a majestic, towering flame made entirely of gold. No pirate has ever found it, but every pirate wants it—except for Shivers. It used to be at the top of the Statue of Liberty until Mustardio stole it and hid it somewhere. Shivers shuddered just thinking about it. “Every time that thing comes up, I end up covered in mustard and snails!”

  “That was just one time,” Margo corrected him. She flipped through the pages of the paper and continued, “Now, everyone is really mad. Especially Mayor President.”

  “Mayor who?!” Shivers asked.

  But before Margo could answer, the ground beneath them lurched suddenly and they both tumbled to the floor.

  “Did the ship just move?!” Margo asked.

  Shivers gasped. “My Land Lady! She’s trying to run away!”

  Margo shot up and ran to the porthole to look outside. To her surprise, she saw a huge line of people dressed in black suits tugging ferociously on a rope that was tied to the bow of the ship.

  Shivers grabbed Albee’s bowl and held it up so they were face-to-fishy face. “It’s the end of the world! Ships have grown legs!” he screamed. He poured Albee into a plastic baggie full
of water so he would be ready to travel if they needed to escape. The ship lurched again and they all hit the deck. This time, before they could get up, the door flew open.

  An enormous flood of people marched into the kitchen in a single-file line. Without saying a word, they lifted Shivers and Margo up above their heads.

  “AGGGGHH!!” Shivers screamed, clutching Albee’s bag.

  “Put me down!” Margo shouted, wriggling like a worm on a waterbed.

  The people in the black suits didn’t listen. They carried them out onto the deck and chucked them overboard. As they flew through the air, Shivers wailed, “AGGH! Jagged rocks!” Actually, it was soft sand, and when they landed on it, it didn’t feel too bad. But it didn’t taste too good. Shivers spat out a healthy dose of mouth-mud and looked up, terrified of what he might see.

  Standing in front of them was a woman in bright purple pants and a matching suit jacket. She was wearing a pin with a picture of her own face on it. On the pin, she was smiling as brightly as a new lightbulb, but in real life, she was wearing a stormy scowl. She held a giant megaphone in one hand and she pointed it directly at Shivers as she spoke. “Shivers the Pirate! I am your mayor, Sheila B. President. But you can call me Mayor President.”

  Shivers winced. The sound was so loud that it rattled his rib bones and jellied his belly.

  “During my time as your mayor, I have done some amazing things. Some might say super-amazing. Others might even say amazingly super. But this isn’t about me. It’s about you! The torch atop the Statue of Liberty has been taken! The very symbol of our national freedom—gone! I think we can all guess who is to blame. I’ll give you a hint: YOU!”

  “You didn’t give us a chance to guess!” Shivers stammered.

  “Shivers didn’t steal the torch!” Margo added. Albee waved his fins in agreement.

  “Oh, really?!” the mayor barked. “Then why is his picture on the front page of the newspaper? Why was he leading a mob of pirates out of the Statue of Liberty on the same day that the torch was found missing? I’ll give you one guess. Because he stole it!”

  “This is the worst guessing game ever,” Shivers moaned.

  “I know you have the torch, Shivers the Pirate! And if you don’t get it back to me by sundown tonight, I’m going to ban you from this beach forever!”

  “Forever?!” Shivers, Margo, and Albee all shouted in a panic.

  “What am I supposed to do?” Shivers asked. “Move the Land Lady out to sea?!”

  “Wrong again!” The mayor grinned so her face matched the one on her pin. “If you don’t give me back the torch, I’m using your precious ship for official government business.” She pointed to some big buildings beyond the beach. “The New Jersey Elementary School basketball court needs a new floor. The Bank of New Jersey needs some new doors. And the New Jersey mayor needs a new wooden frame—for this picture!”

  At that moment, out of nowhere, a photographer appeared and snapped a picture of the mayor standing triumphantly over Shivers’s sand-caked face.

  “Thank you, Roger,” she said, patting the photographer lightly on the head. “This picture will be perfect for the front page of tomorrow’s paper. I can see the headline now: ‘Mayor Gets Torch Back from . . . Stupid . . . Pirate . . .’ I don’t know, I’m not a writer!” She pointed down at Shivers. “You have until sundown!” Then she snapped her fingers and shouted, “Interns!” The people in black suits rushed to her side, picked her up over their heads, and carried her to a long black stretch limousine that was parked at the edge of the beach.

  By now, the rest of the interns had tied the Land Lady to the back of the limo. The limo sped away, dragging Shivers’s home behind it.

  He threw his sandy hands in the air and squealed in horror.

  “It’s going to be okay, Shivers,” said Margo.

  “Okay?!” Shivers wheezed. “Did you hear what she said?! I’m going to be banished! What am I going to do? Where am I going to live?! I’ll be like a beaver without a dam . . . a bird without a nest . . . a snail without a shell . . .” Shivers’s eyes widened in horror. “A slug!! I’m going to be a slug!!!!!”

  Margo put her arm around him. “You’re not going to be a slug. We’re going to get the Land Lady back.”

  He stared out at the endless ocean. “How? It’s impossible!”

  “We’ll find a way.”

  “Find a way? There’s no way!” he said, shaking his head.

  “Yes way! I know we can do this, Shivers. I know we can get the Treasure Torch.”

  Shivers gasped. “Are you crazy?! Our only hope is to get to my parents’ ship so we can ask them to get the torch for us. It’s all the way out THERE—”

  “—and you know I get seasick!”

  SHIVERS’S PARENTS WERE TWO of the most feared pirates on the Eastern Seas. If anyone had a chance of finding an unfindable treasure, they could. They lived on a ship called the Plunderer. When they weren’t sailing it on the high seas, they kept it anchored in the ocean, close enough to New Jersey Beach that they could see Shivers’s night light every night. Still, it was too far for Shivers to get to, especially without a ship.

  “Why don’t we swim?” Margo suggested.

  “No, thank you! I already have a sinking feeling in my stomach—I don’t want a sinking feeling in my whole body!”

  Margo took a second to scan the beach for a solution. “Then we’ll need something that floats!” She grinned and sprinted away.

  Shivers figured that Margo was talking about a root beer float, so he wandered toward the ice-cream shop while she scampered around the beach searching for supplies. By the time she got back, Shivers had had one midmorning snack and two panic attacks.

  Margo unloaded her bounty onto the beach and quickly got to work.

  “What are you doing?” Shivers asked. There was so much stuff, it made his head hurt. Actually, it was probably just the brain freeze from the root beer float. But he was still confused.

  “I’m building us a world-class raft,” she said as she tied two surfboards together. “This will be the base.” Then she hoisted up a huge beach umbrella with rainbow stripes and wedged it between the boards. “And this will be our sail!” She grabbed an armful of bright orange floaties. “And these will be for—”

  “ME!” Shivers snatched them from her and put two on each arm.

  Margo sighed. Luckily, she had brought backups. She tied a bunch of beach balls together using the string from a kite, and strung them around the surfboards for extra floatation.

  “It’s unsinkable!” she declared. And no one who has said that about a ship has ever been wrong. “Plus, I brought a few beach towels in case we get wet. And some sunscreen—because that’s just good sense.”

  “How did you manage to steal all this stuff without getting caught?” Shivers marveled.

  “Shivers, I’m the daughter of a police officer. I would never steal! I just borrowed it.”

  Moments later, Shivers and Margo were on the raft. Shivers was holding Albee in one hand and his root beer float in the other. He was sitting with his legs crossed so his bunny slippers wouldn’t get wet. Margo was in front of him, using the umbrella to steer the raft out toward the Plunderer. Suddenly, a wave rocked the raft and sent Shivers’s ice-cream float flying into the ocean. It sank like a rock. “I’ve been lied to!” Shivers cried. Then another wave whipped them around, sending Shivers’s stomach into a spiral of seasickness. He looked longingly back at his beach and thought, If this plan doesn’t work, I’m going to be stuck at sea forever! And there’s nothing I hate more than—

  Shivers puked off the side of the raft.

  “Gross!” Margo couldn’t help but laugh. “At times like these you need to just close your eyes and imagine you’re in the happiest place on earth.”

  Shivers closed his eyes and pictured himself on a big stage, performing his most incredible song and dance time of all time. He kicked! He tapped! He shuffled! And just as he was launching into an amazing shake ’n�
�� twist, he exclaimed, “Margo, it’s working! I’m in my happy place! I can even hear the audience applauding!”

  But really, Margo had accidentally steered the raft into a cluster of clams who sounded like they were clapping when they were actually clamping.

  She tried to warn him. “Uh, Shivers—”

  “Quiet, Margo! When the crowd loves you, you have to love them back.” With his eyes still closed, he took a deep bow. His head hovered just above the water, so close that two clams snapped themselves right onto his eyebrows.

  “AAAAAAGH!” he screamed, opening his eyes wide and whipping up so fast that he launched Albee’s bag into the air. Margo let go of the umbrella to catch Albee, but that caused the raft to take a sharp turn. Shivers stumbled and toppled overboard. It was a clam calamity. They chomped onto his nose and clipped onto his lips.

  “Hold still!” Margo cried, grabbing him by the shirt.

  “They’re trying to kiss me!!” Shivers called, wriggling around.

  Margo mustered all of her strength and yanked him back onto the raft. His head was completely coated in clams, clicking and clacking their shells.

  “You told me to go to my happy place, and now I’m stuck in this snappy place!” he screeched.

  Margo tried to swat them away, but they were stuck on too tight. Then she got an idea. She grabbed the bottle of sunscreen and held it above Shivers’s head. “Hope you’re not trying to get tan, clams!” she said, and then squeezed as hard as she could. The gloopy sunscreen poured down his head and carried the clams away on a slippery slide of SPF. They glided right off the raft and back into the water, sinking to the bottom of the sea right next to Shivers’s root beer float.

  “AAAAAAGH!” Shivers screamed.

  “Why are you screaming?” Margo asked. “The clams are gone!”

  “I know, but a teeny bit of that sunscreen got in my eye and it kind of stings.”

  Margo sighed. Sometimes with Shivers, you just couldn’t win.