Catie Conrad: Faith, Friendship and Fashion Disasters Read online

  Jeremy: Who wants to watch your goofy show about goofy clothes? It’s dumb. Tonight they’re featuring a giant rodent called a CAPYBARA! Know what that is? It’s a GIANT GUINEA PIG! They have three toes on their rear feet and four toes on their front feet! They’re also semi-aquatic so they can live in the water or out—like in or out of my bathtub! Maybe I can talk Mom and Dad into buying me one! The people on Animal Planet say they can become very cuddly and territorial if you train them.

  Me: HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? That DOES IT! I’m going to my room! I’m OUTTA HERE!

  When I told Mom and Dad what the Germ had done, they griped at ME for yelling at him. I couldn’t believe it! Sometimes I wish I was an only child. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about what type of gross animal will be brought into our house next!

  I went straight to my room, got out my diary, and added the GERM and a CAPYBARA to my Prayer List.

  I also rummaged around in my room to find artsy materials to try and save my RUINED project. Of course that reminded me of Miranda, and I suddenly got S.A.D. for real.

  Saturday, March 20

  If Mom REALLY wanted me to be nice to the Germ (so nice that she probably wouldn’t even recognize me), then she’d tell Dad how much I DESPERATELY need a new cell phone!

  I’m the only kid in class who has a phone that came over on Noah’s ark. YES, it is that OLD.

  Mom gave me her old one, when, of course, SHE got the upgrade phone that has the latest and greatest of everything. It has a zillion free apps, which she has NO CLUE how to download or use! Why would Mom need that?

  WHY???

  But no, Catie Conrad gets the phone that doesn’t even connect to the Internet! WHO DOES THAT TO A KID? I’ll tell you who. The kind of parents who buy two diaries full of blank paper and expect their kid to actually WRITE in it! Don’t they know it’s the twenty-first century?

  Maybe SOMEDAY they’ll understand, but I’m not holding my breath.

  High Tech Phone + MOM = DOUBLE WEIRD

  High Tech Phone + Catie Conrad = INSTANT COOLNESS!

  (Extra bonus points if I get a blinged-out case! )

  I’ve decided to wait until after dinner (so Mom has time to “de-stress”) to explain WHY I need a new cell phone. To wow her, I might actually create a PowerPoint presentation later to really help get the point across.

  UGH. Obviously I didn’t wait long enough . . .

  Me: Uh, Mom, SINCE I’m going to bed on time and SINCE I’ve said my prayers every night, do you think we could talk about something? I really, REALLY need a new cell phone. Sophie just got one, and it’s awesome. You can ask her mom about it if you’d like.

  Mom: Catie, while I appreciate you going to bed on time and saying your prayers, that doesn’t mean you’re going to get everything you want, when you want it. We can’t afford a new phone for you right now, sweetie. Remember, we’re trying to save money for the overseas missionaries who need supplies. The phone that you have is fine. You’re not supposed to be on the phone at school anyway. When you’re at home, you can call Sophie from the house phone, the old-fashioned way. What’s wrong with that?

  Upset Me: But Mooommmm! That’s the problem—it’s OLD-FASHIONED! It’s not fair! I have the ugliest phone in the whole class. I’m really trying to be good! When you ask me to be nice to the Germ, er, I mean, Jeremy, I really TRY. My grades are great, er well, good—not a single C! I even make up my bed almost every morning! Surely that deserves SOMETHING!

  Mom: Catie Conrad, just because we think we deserve something, it doesn’t mean God is going to allow it to happen in the snap of a finger. You know better than that, right? What happened to being nice and doing your best because it’s the right thing to do? Maybe you can use some of your allowance savings to buy yourself a phone. We’re done discussing this now. You can think about it, and we’ll revisit this issue. Time for bed. I love you very much.

  Me:

  PRAYER LIST: Pray for contentment . . . AGAIN!!!!!

  Sunday, March 21

  Even though I’m still mad at Mom for saying NO to a modern cell phone, something happened in church today that made me glad I didn’t have one. (At least for today.)

  Sophie had been talking on her cell to her cousin, right before church started. HOWEVER, when she threw the phone into her purse, she forgot to put it on silent! Unfortunately, her cousin decided to call back—RIGHT DURING PRAYER. Talk about BAD TIMING!

  Just as we were about to say amen, everyone suddenly heard the ringtone “I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!” from that Madagascar movie. Every head in church turned to look at Sophie.

  Sophie’s face turned every color of red that was humanly possible. I FELT SO BAD FOR HER. I’ve never seen Sophie scramble so hard to open her purse and turn off that phone.

  Of course, the Germ thought it was funny, and I noticed him lying on his side giggling in the pew behind me. I have a feeling Sophie will start praying for patience with my crazy brother as much as I do!

  With the exception of the phone incident, church was really interesting today. A lady from Spirit Ministries, the group Dad is writing an article about, came and talked about mission work in the Southwest, especially at Native American reservations. I didn’t realize that an area in my own country could be so different! I couldn’t imagine living in a desert or seeing cactuses everywhere. That would be so AWESOME. At least Miranda Maroni wouldn’t be anywhere around!

  SINCE I’m a fashion designer, and SINCE I’ll be designing clothes for people all over the country, I decided to do a Google search for “SOUTHWEST FASHIONS” as soon as I got home from church.

  My search turned up all kinds of images! Cowboys boots! Colorful skirts and cool jean jackets! Southwest fashions totally rock! And WOW, when I checked out “NATIVE AMERICAN OUTFITS,” there were incredible costumes in every color of the rainbow.

  I spent the rest of the afternoon drawing Catie Conrad versions of Southwest fashions. Who knows, I might even create my very own line of cowboy boots one of these days!

  After dinner, I showed Mom and Dad my fashion sketches, and even they thought they were cool. Dad also told us that he’d spoken to the lady from Spirit Ministries after church. He was so moved by her presentation that he volunteered our family to go to Arizona and host Vacation Bible School at an Apache reservation in a few weeks. Evidently it will be during spring break for the kids on the rez, and Dad feels so strongly about it that he thinks it’s even worth me and Jeremy missing school for a few days.

  I think he said we’re going on April 6, which isn’t too far away.

  WAIT A MINUTE . . . WAIT A MINUTE . . .

  APRIL 6th? That’s just TEN DAYS before the big dance!

  I have a zillion things to do before then!

  1. Try and save my mosaic from being a total flop.

  2. Finish a few of the fashion designs I started.

  3. Find a dress for the school dance. Because if somebody—Josh!—asks me, I have to be ready to go, right?

  Monday, March 22

  It was so hard to go to school today and look Miranda in the face. The only thing I could think of when I looked at her was my messed-up project and beads bouncing all over the floor.

  Unless I figure out how to fix my project and FAST,

  I’m looking at a big fat C in art class.

  At least it won’t be an F. However, a C in our house stands for CAN do better.

  UGH . . .

  Miranda even had the nerve to try and SPEAK to me this morning on the way to her locker, which is just three down from mine and Sophie’s. I mumbled a quick, “Hey Miranda” and slammed my locker door. I concentrated on talking to Sophie.

  But suddenly I forgot what I was doing when I heard Mrs. Gibson’s voice over the school intercom:

  Mrs. Gibson: Students, I’m delighted to announce that our school has decided to host its fi
rst ever Middle School Art Show. There are several categories to choose from, so check out the big poster in the art room. The top honor, “Best in Show,” will receive a beautiful plaque, $25, and ten bonus points in art class. Good luck everyone and remember: ART RULES!

  I could hardly wait to talk to Sophie about this! Even though the contest wasn’t until the end of April, I needed to GET STARTED NOW.

  Me: There’s only ONE way to bring up my art grade and that’s to win this art contest. If I keep a C in art class, I AM DOOMED. Oh, and did I mention Dad is making us go on a mission trip in a few weeks? Talk about BAD TIMING.

  Sophie: Why do we ALL have to enter something for the art contest? Everyone knows you’re the best artist at school. Now, if this were a SCIENCE fair, then I’d be all over it. But what am I supposed to do for an art contest? That’s just weird. Oh, and the mission trip sounds fun if you ask me.

  Me: I’m not so sure. And Sophie, you’re good at tons of stuff! Remember, Mrs. Gibson said there are all kinds of contest categories to choose from: sewing, drawing, painting—even photography! Maybe you can take a cool photo of one of those desserts you make?

  Sophie: Or that would be just W-E-I-R-D. Art just isn’t my thing. I bet I can guess what category you’ll be entering—sewing, right? I can’t wait to see what kind of fancy fashion design you’ll come up with for the contest.

  Just when I was about to tell Sophie that I didn’t plan on entering the sewing category, Miranda had to put her two cents in. She’d been standing at her locker with Emily and listening to the whole thing: “Are you STILL convinced you’re a fashion designer? Really? Well, Catie Conrad, if you ever need a model, just let me know. I’m available.”

  And on that last word she waltzed down the hall with her ponytail flipping in the air.

  UGH! SHE DRIVES ME BONKERS!

  On top of everything else going on in my crazy life, I had to go to science class—my worst subject ever.

  At least Sophie was my partner today. Mr. Finkleman (yes, that is his ACTUAL name!) made us choose a lab partner, and I’d chosen my best friend. I wondered who in the world would choose Miranda. But then I noticed she was standing by Emily—AGAIN.

  Of COURSE.

  Maybe if Miranda had destroyed HER art project, she wouldn’t be as understanding.

  Mr. Finkleman’s lecture about cells made ZERO sense to me. NADA, zILCH, NOTHING.

  I couldn’t understand a single thing!

  Sophie seemed to actually LIKE this stuff and wrote down every word he said. STRANGE! Maybe she could translate it all to me later.

  I DO NOT like science and wonder why ANYONE needs to know what a cell looks like—something we can’t even see!

  Like I said, STRANGE!

  Mr. Finkleman drew a diagram of a cell on the board and made us do the same thing in our notebooks. We had to label every single part, which seemed like a total waste of good sketch paper. Why couldn’t we label plants, like we did in fourth grade?

  But then Mr. Finkleman REALLY dropped a bomb:

  “Class, your new assignment is to create your very own version of a cell and label it accordingly. You can work on it as a team, and it’s due in two days. Good luck! Think out of the box and be super creative!”

  HUH???

  What kind of teacher would dream up such a crazy project? And why would he only give us two days to complete it? GIMME A BREAK!

  I hoped Sophie had an idea because I was CLUELESS. All I could think about was the big art contest just a few weeks away. I HAD TO HAVE AN IDEA AND FAST!

  Luckily, Sophie was already making a TO-DO list for our science project. I told you she was smart! However, this time I thought she’d lost her marbles . . .

  I’m glad my brainiac BFF thought so . . .

  Add to Prayer List:

  1. Pray that I can come up with an idea for the Middle School Art Show.

  2. Pray that I won’t wreck our big science project!

  Tuesday, March 23

  I can’t believe I have to work on a boring science project after school today. I’d much rather focus on art and coming up with an idea for the contest. If my friends knew that I had ZERO inspiration and was totally brain blocked, they’d laugh me off the planet.

  And that includes Josh Henderson. The only time he even notices me is when I draw something cool in art class.

  Well, NOT ANYMORE!

  My days of being Catie Conrad, the A+ art student are O-V-E-R.

  At least I’ll be working on my science project with Sophie. I’m glad SOMEONE had an idea in her head! However, I think she may have gone over the edge after looking at the list of stuff she’d given me to get at the grocery. It looked way more like ingredients for one of her recipes—NOT A SCIENCE PROJECT.

  Catie’s List Sophie’s List

  Miniature marshmallows Lemon JELL-O

  Licorice straw Sour candy and roll-up fruit snacks

  Large gumball Sturdy plastic bag to hold the JELL-O

  I texted Dad and asked him to stop by the grocery and bring home the things on my list. Notice I said TEXTED Dad—Sophie was nice enough to let me use HER cell phone because I DON’T HAVE ONE THAT TEXTS. I made a mental note to add that to my list of why I need a new phone. Surely reason #27, NEED FOR IMPORTANT SCHOOL STUFF, would clinch the deal.

  By the time I got to Sophie’s, she had everything set out on the kitchen counter. Utensils, pots, pans, and all sorts of ingredients were everywhere. It looked like some crazy science lab!

  Sophie also had on the apron I made for her. It fit perfectly, and she even had on an orange T-shirt to match. It looked awesome! At least there’s ONE person at school who believes in me!

  I followed Sophie’s lead on what to do next and tried not to mess up anything. I could tell my BFF knew exactly what she was doing.

  We mixed the JELL-O with water and poured it into the plastic bag—that was the cell wall. The JELL-O stuff was the cytoplasm, and the large gumball was the nucleus. As it jelled in the fridge, we added the different types of candy to look like the different parts of the cell: vacuole, ribosomes, lysosomes, golgi body, and mitochondrion. This was way harder than those baking soda volcanoes I used to make!

  I’ll have to admit, though, it’s pretty cool how God creates so many interesting parts to every living thing. What an imagination! Like the song says: HE IS AMAzING!

  Maybe cells are starting to make sense a little . . .

  Mr. Finkleman is going to LOVE this! I’m letting Sophie be in charge of bringing it to school tomorrow. It was her idea, after all.

  NOTE TO SELF:

  KEEP MIRANDA AWAY FROM OUR PROJECT!!!

  I spent the rest of the afternoon looking for mosaic pieces for my sewing machine project. Art class was just a few days away, and it was our last day to finish it. At least Mrs. Gibson had been nice enough to let us bring home our project. I racked my brain for hours trying to come up with something. FINALLY Mom came to the rescue!

  Brilliant Mom: Hey Catie, how about using some of those old plastic bobbin spools that you don’t use anymore? Some of them still have a little thread left so they might give your mosaic some color.

  Thankful Me: Mom, you’re a GENIUS! Now I know for SURE where I get my art genes. That’s a great idea.

  Amazing Mom: And I think your dad may have some tile left from when we remodeled the bathroom. Maybe he can cut them into tiny pieces to fill in?

  I had no time to waste and quickly got the tweezers and glue. Anything would be an improvement since my project only had a few black beads stuck on it here and there. I ever so gently filled in my drawing with the plastic bobbins and blue tile. It looked so cool, if I have to say so myself. I planned on hanging it up in my bedroom once Mrs. Gibson grad
ed it. It might not be the best mosaic in class, but hopefully it can help pull my grade up from a C to an A.

  And if I’m REALLY lucky, JOSH MIGHT EVEN LIKE IT! Then my cramped fingers would totally be worth it!

  Add to Prayer List:

  1. Thank God for giving me a best friend like Sophie Martin.

  2. Thank God for giving me such a creative mom!

  Wednesday, March 24

  I was right: Mr. Finkleman LOVED OUR SCIENCE PROJECT! YES! YES! YES!

  And guess what? Miranda wasn’t even at school today, so we didn’t have to worry that she might “accidentally” bump into it and cause a disaster.

  YES!!!

  I overheard Emily tell Sophie that Miranda was sort of stressed out about something. Well MAYBE it’s because she’s finally thought about how rude she acts to everyone.

  But what am I thinking? She’s probably just upset that she doesn’t have every single item in Teen Vogue this month.

  SHEESH!!

  After getting a glorious A+ on our science project (THANK YOU, SOPHIE!), we decided to take it over to my house and celebrate in the perfect way: EAT IT !!!

  But instead of worrying about Miranda wrecking our project at school, I SHOULD have been thinking about the REAL threat at my own house:

  The GERM!!!!!!!!!!

  In the amount of time it took us to set our project on the table and get a soda out of the fridge, the Germ’s pest of a pet had hopped up and STUCK HER BIG FAT NOSE IN OUR JELL-O CELL!

  GRRRRRR . . .

  In two seconds, Rosey had a Fruit Roll-Up hanging out of her mouth. Marshmallows were stuck all over her tail, and she looked like a total freak.