Catie Conrad: Faith, Friendship and Fashion Disasters Read online

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

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  © 2014 by Angie Spady

  Published by B&H Publishing Group

  All rights reserved

  Printed in the United States of America

  ISBN: 978-1-4336-8460-9

  Dewey Decimal Number: JF

  Subject Heading: FAITH-FICTION GIRLS-FICTION FRIENDSHIP-FICTION

  Unless otherwise stated, all Scripture references are taken from the

  Holman Christian Standard Bible® (hcsb), Copyright © 1999, 2000, 2002, 2003,

  by Holman Bible Publishers. Used by permission.

  Also used: THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

  Also used: The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2007

  by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

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  Friday, March 12

  Okay, so why does ANYONE try shopping for me??? ESPECIALLY MY PARENTS!

  I happen to have EXCELLENT taste and know EXACTLY what I do and do not need!

  THIS JOURNAL FALLS INTO THE I-DO-NOT-NEED CATEGORY.

  It’s all Dad’s fault.

  “Here are those sketchbooks you asked me to pick up, Catie. And for just $9.99, you get two for the price of one!”

  These are NOT sketchbooks! They’re diaries!

  What was DAD thinking??

  I’m surprised that he didn’t buy some kind of zit zapper on top of everything else. At least THAT I could actually use!

  The goop that Mom bought me doesn’t even faze my worst pimple—which happens to be the size of a small state. There’s not enough goop on the planet to cover the small volcano growing on my chin. I thought about wearing a ski mask to school, but Mom said I’m the only one who even notices the “tiny bump.” Yeah, right!

  Me and the rest of the human population!!!

  Just because Dad works for a magazine and likes to write about boring stuff doesn’t mean I want to! UGH!

  NOT. NOT. NOT.

  Surely Dad knows I plan on being the next FASHIONISTA EXTRAORDINAIRE—”THE FAMOUS CATIE CONRAD”

  —which is what they’ll print in Ooh La La magazine. I don’t plan on wasting my time writing in a diary.

  Instead of writing like Dad, I’ll be designing the latest and greatest fashions for New York and Rome . . . even PARIS! And I won’t just be sketching ideas, I’ll bring them to life. That is, IF Mom’s old sewing machine cooperates. She even lets me keep it in my room since I never know when a brilliant idea might pop into my head.

  I’m working on the coolest handbag EVER. I read that tons of the famous designers got started that way. All it took was a quick trip to Goodwill, ten old ties, and TA-DA: The “Totally Tie Bag!” Who knows, it could be the next big thing, and I’ll be known all over the state . . . or maybe even the world!

  I do NOT have time to write in a diary. Do I have time to sketch and create gorgeous fashions? Yes. Write about boring ol’ stuff? No.

  I’m positive Sophie will agree this diary is the most ridiculous thing ever.

  Sophie Martin is my best friend, and she always gives me great advice. Whether it’s about which way my hair looks best (Sophie’s hair is naturally curly and ALWAYS looks amazing) or if I need to calm down over the latest drama at school, Sophie’s always there for me. We’re even in the same Sunday school class at church. That girl can memorize verses like it’s the easiest thing in the world. (I’m glad someone can!)

  AND, I might add, Sophie LOVES my fashion designs. She’s sort of like my very own fashion critic—who has excellent taste, of course.

  At least now I have plenty of sketch paper, er, I mean diary paper, for my drawings. If I’m really lucky, maybe one of my designs will end up on the runway in Paris, and I’ll have Dad to thank for that.

  Maybe I’ll write just a little in this diary—IF I get time. Dad was super excited to give it to me, after all. I eked out a small, “Gee, thanks, Dad” and tried to be nice. If I didn’t, I’d get chewed out by Mom, and she’d say, “When are you going to start appreciating things, young lady?” Then I’d get the I’m-sooo-disappointed-in-you look and everything would go downhill from there.

  Mom’s right, even though I don’t like admitting it. I guess I need to be a little more thankful. Okay, okay . . . A LOT more thankful. I’m pretty blessed to have a Dad who cares for me, not to mention having a Father in heaven who loves me too! I know Sophie would agree with me 1,000 percent.

  But I will NOT be a reporter like Dad. Every single night he’s up late on his computer. One minute he’s on the phone, then back to the computer, and on and on and on. And he says I’M on the computer too much?

  Sheesh!

  Dad writes “human interest” stories—whatever that means. I guess it’s about stuff humans are supposed to be interested in, but not me. I never read those grown-up magazines. The stuff is kind of interesting though . . . sometimes. Once he wrote about a group of missionaries in Haiti who needed art supplies for summer camp. STRANGE. I could NOT imagine a life without art supplies!

  So we all pitched in and did a fund-raiser for the school. I even cleared out my craft boxes in my closet and sent that stuff too. A few months later, the students sent us some cool drawings using the art materials we’d mailed.

  Mom still has one of the drawings on the refrigerator, along with a few of my fashion sketches.

  Hmmm . . . maybe I’ll keep my Prayer List in my diary?? That’s a thought. Mom says it helps her remember to pray for all sorts of things—like the kids in Haiti.

  Saturday, March 13

  SPA SLEEPOVER!!!! YES!

  So Sophie and I decided to try and come up with a new zit eraser formula last night. I’m sure it was attempt #137 or something like that. There just HAS to be something that smells better than the gross store stuff. We also read online that cotton balls soaked in vinegar and lemon juice would make our skin sparkle. We even put cucumber slices on our eyes to get an extra boost. BIG MISTAKE. The only thing that happened is we ended up smelling like a PICKLE FACTORY. We even had to sleep with the windows open in my room.

  My eight-year-old brother, Jeremy (I prefer to call him “the GERM”), went around the house with a clothespin on his nose, yelling “PEE-YEW! GIRLS STINK!”

  So Sophie and I decided to try and come up with a new zit eraser formula last night. I’m sure it was attempt #137 or something like that. There just HAS to be something that smells better than the gross store stuff. We also read online that cotton balls soaked in vinegar and lemon juice would make our skin sparkle. We even put cucumber slices on our eyes to get an extra boost. BIG MISTAKE. The only thing that happened is we ended up smelling like a PICKLE FACTORY. We even had to sleep with the windows open in my room.

  What a brat!

  He even put a clothespin on the nose of his pet skunk, Rosey. Yes, he has a skunk for a pet! Can you say WEIRD? But why would a skunk need a clothespin on her nose, when “Stink” is her middle name!!

  Why???

  (Note: I would need an ENTIRE diary to tell you about my brat of a brother. . . . There’s probably not enough paper in the world to explain him!)

  Actually, spa disasters seem to follow me wherever I go. Last week
, when I was at Sophie’s house, we read online that a milk and oatmeal bubble bath was the “ultimate spa ritual.” We put on our swimsuits, filled the bathtub with warm water and milk and added a whole box of oatmeal.

  EPIC FAIL.

  Not only did it NOT work, but we were also a STICKY MESS. I’m not sure which was the most embarrassing: being in a bathtub wearing my swimsuit or having oatmeal stuck to my scalp. Sophie’s parents got totally mad (Mr. Martin is the school PRINCIPAL, I might add), and there was no milk left for cereal the next morning.

  NEVER AGAIN.

  I REPEAT: NEVER AGAIN!

  But Sophie CAN dream up the most SCRUMPTIOUS body scrubs! From coconut to strawberry to chocolate, she can mix up some delish stuff to slather on our arms and legs. I’m always tempted to reach down and lick my arms, but then that would be acting like a first grader.

  Sophie will definitely be a scientist, or maybe a world-famous chef someday. She makes the most DELISH brownies ever—chocolate chunk peanut butter—that will MELT in your mouth. She doesn’t even have to use a measuring cup because she says she has the recipe MEMORIzED. It’s no wonder she’s the brainiac in science class. She remembers science definitions as quickly as she does those Bible verses.

  Why didn’t I get that gift? I forget EVERYTHING! In fact, I’m trying to memorize this Bible verse so I can have more patience with the Germ.

  PRAYER LIST

  Add #3, “Patience with the Germ,”

  to my Prayer List!

  Sunday, March 14

  I am SOOOO being tested today! The Germ is driving me INSANE. Mom goes on and on and on and on about me

  needing to develop “a little more patience” with my baby brother.

  EASY FOR HER TO SAY.

  I even asked Sophie to pray that I could tolerate the Germ a little more. She and I are in the same Sunday school class, and I needed all the help I could get!

  Note to Self:

  Remember James 1:12!

  Even though I went to church today and prayed for patience, it’s SUPER hard when you’re waiting to use the bathroom and CAN’T because your little brother is giving his pet skunk a BUBBLE BATH!

  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!!!

  I made Mom disinfect the entire bathroom! If I find out the Germ used my spa lotion that Sophie and I made last week, then he is DEAD MEAT. Once he got into my zit cream and covered his whole face with it! I dared him to do it again— I’d squeeze him like a real pimple, and THEN he’d be sorry! Why do I have to be the one with the crazy brother who likes girly lotion?

  WHY??????????

  I’ve decided to just hang out in my room and stay here as long as possible. Of course, I’ll have to come out and eat

  . . . AND use the bathroom. Maybe the stink will disappear while I draw in my sketchbook.

  I get all of my inspiration from Claire Hunter, who is THE coolest young designer on Earth. I subscribe to her blog and keep up with all of her latest stuff online. They even sell a few of her things at Unique Boutique at the Clairemont Ridge mall. Which is exactly why I’m trying to save my money and buy something from her spring collection.

  I’ve also got the most AMAzING idea for a skirt that I just have to get out on paper. I’m actually going to “redo” one of Mom’s old skirts and bring it into the 21st century. With just a little bling, a hot glue gun, and a few tucks here and there, I MIGHT even wear it to school one of these days if I get the nerve.

  If only I could be famous like Claire Hunter and all those other designers. That would be sooo cool! Then I’d be rich! THEN I could build my OWN bathroom and BAN THE GERM FOR LIFE!

  Oh, and I just wouldn’t have my own bathroom, I’d have my VERY OWN DESIGN STUDIO! That would be the greatest thing EVER!

  1. Mannequins everywhere, wearing my designs, of course.

  2.Sewing machines—at least three. (You never know when one might break down!)

  3.Fabrics from all over the world (sequined, shiny, plaid, neon—you get the idea).

  4.A refrigerator full of my favorite foods—and a microwave, of course. (A designer has to eat!)

  5.Candles that smell like birthday cakes. Or maybe strawberries? Or sugar cookies?

  ANYTHING BUT GERM SCENT!!!

  Just thinking about the GERM and Rosey puts me in a bad mood all over again. I cannot WAIT to vent to Sophie at school tomorrow. And show her my new skirt design. The sooner the better!!!!!!

  NOTE TO SELF: Read James 1:12—AGAIN!!!

  Monday, March 15

  Did I say I wanted to see Sophie at school?

  SCRATCH THAT THOUGHT!

  But I’ll admit it’s because I’m TOTALLY jealous, which I know is not the right way to be. Note to Self: Add “DON’T BE JEALOUS OF OTHER PEOPLE’S STUFF” to my prayer list!

  This morning Sophie waltzed into first period class with a new CELL PHONE! Yes, that’s what I said, a BEAUTIFUL, AMAzING, HIGH-TECH smartphone with TEXT, INTERNET, ITUNES, ETC., ETC.!!!

  She even has a cool case with a pink cupcake on the back. Not only do I want a phone like hers sooo bad, but it looks good enough to eat!

  Of course she could have texted me last night to prepare me for this surprise, but she couldn’t. WHY? Because I don’t have a cell phone that texts!

  I found out later that Sophie’s been doing extra chores at home to earn money to buy it, but that STILL didn’t make me feel any better. . . .

  So now the two girls in my class with the coolest cell phones are my best friend AND the school snob:

  Miranda Maroni.

  At least Sophie can’t stand Miranda either.

  Miranda thinks she is IT and always has the latest and greatest of everything. And the WORST thing about it is, she rubs it in our faces. If a cool bag is in Teen Vogue magazine (which she carries around like it’s her Bible!), she has it before anyone else. She’ll even “accidentally” drop the magazine on the floor and say, “Oh, that is so cool. But I forgot, I already have it.”

  If there are some great boots in the Shoe Plus store window, then Miranda has the first pair and struts around in them at school. One day she hiked her big foot up onto Sophie’s desk, just to make sure we saw her new sequined sneakers. WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!

  Oh, and Miranda’s cell phone has bling, bling, bling, WITH an amazing zebra case, I might add. That phone has more ring tones than Apple! And she’s always on it at break, playing some game when she isn’t supposed to.

  Just once, I wish she’d get busted by Mrs. Gibson. (Note to self: pray about not wishing the worst on Miranda Maroni.)

  But it’s sooooo hard. She even tried to kiss up to Sophie in class this morning.

  Miranda: “Sophie, your phone is soooo cool! It’s ALMOST as cool as mine! You need to come over to my house, and maybe we can shop for some new ring tones or cases. You can even bring over some of those weird cookies you make!”

  BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!

  Just because Miranda’s dad works at a bank, she thinks she can have ANYTHING and EVERYTHING she wants. But I can’t.

  My parents have normal jobs, and that’s okay by me . . . most of the time. Mom even takes coupons to the grocery, and we TRY to stay within our budget as much as possible. Sometimes it’s even fun to try and see how much money we can save up for vacation and stuff. Dad also reminds us to tithe at church. Sometimes it feels like a total bummer after I’ve worked so hard for my allowance and then have to turn around and give it away.

  I’ve tried to explain to him that I’m saving up for a Claire Hunter brand outfit. Of course I can ALWAYS use new fabric for my next design too. But I know it’s important to obey God’s commands—even if it is hard.

  Speaking of hard, it’s SUPER hard not to tell Miranda what I really think. Of course I want to explode into a

  zillion pieces, but I TRY not to let those thoughts come out of my mouth.
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  One minute I almost think Miranda could be nice if she tried, but the next minute she’s making fun of my hair, my clothes, or whatever else she can make fun of. Sophie’s too. What did we ever do to her?

  And Emily Wheeler has been her sidekick ever since fourth grade. Emily can sometimes act friendly, but whenever Miranda is around, she’s just as rude. STRANGE. WHY Emily puts up with Miranda I have NO IDEA! Maybe it’s because they’re both on the volleyball team or something. Of course Miranda is not only the most popular girl at school, she’s also the best volleyball player around. She leads the team in spikes.

  STILL, if you ask me, that’s NO REASON to be friends with Miranda. I’m surprised she doesn’t make Emily carry her lunch tray or fetch her gym bag like her personal servant. And you know what? Emily would probably do it because she thinks Miranda is the center of the universe.

  I DO NOT GET THOSE GIRLS.

  Note to Self: Add Emily Wheeler to my Prayer List!

  Tuesday, March 16

  T. T. T. TOTALLY. TERRIBLE. TUESDAY.

  I’ll probably need the rest of the week to recuperate from the news.

  Why did Sophie’s dad, Principal Martin, have to destroy a perfectly good Tuesday?

  WHY?????? It’s obvious that principals are taught how to do this in college. I’m sure Principal Martin got an A+ in “Day Wrecking 101.”

  “Attention All Middle School Students:

  The big spring dance will be held on April 16, and I’m sure everyone is filled with excitement! I expect everyone to be on their best behavior. Boys, I expect you to act like gentleman; girls, I expect you to behave like ladies.”