Little Lost Girl: The Complete Series Read online

  “Why can’t I stay? I don’t want to go!” she wailed.

  “Hush now, Star. You’ll have everything a little girl could dream of. Sit here and let me brush your hair.” Star walked indignantly over to her stepmother, who sat on the couch.

  “Sit right here,” the women said, pointing to the floor between her feet. “Let me put your hair in pigtails.” Star sat cross-legged in front of her and tried not to wince as her stepmother tugged and pulled at her hair. After a few minutes, she said, “There, all done. Now go or you’ll miss your plane.”

  “I’m going on a plane? Alone?” Star was terrified by the thought. How was she going to ride on a plane by herself?

  Her stepmother grabbed the handle of her suitcase and wheeled it out the door as Star turned to her father and pleaded,

  “Daddy, please let me stay. I won’t eat that much. I promise!” Tears ran down her face, as she begged him one last time to not make her leave.

  “Oh, little Star.” He pulled her sobbing little body close and hugged her tight. “It won’t be for long, I promise. I’ll come get you as soon as I can.” Her father’s shaggy beard tickled her face. He set her down and held her hand as they walked out to the car.

  The ride to the airport was a blur, the time with her dad too short before they were checking her in and handing her off to a flight attendant.

  “Hi, sweetheart, my name is Kim. I’ll be your flight attendant until you reach Montana, okay?”

  Star’s eyes darted back and forth between her stepmom, who was smiling, and her dad, who wore a somber expression. Her dad bent down and kissed her forehead.

  “Remember, my little Star, this is just for a short time.” He patted her head and smiled half-heartedly at her.

  “Yes, just for a little while.” Her stepmother repeated, but her face was less concerned. In fact, she seemed almost happy Star was leaving. The little girl felt confused and was about to speak when the flight attendant took her hand.

  “Are you ready to ride a plane? You’re a lucky little girl! I didn’t ride a plane until I was a teenager,” Kim said in a comforting voice. She had a bright smile and cheerful brown eyes. Her hair was almond colored and hung in a neat bob around her pretty face.

  Star couldn’t bring herself to speak as the flight attendant led her away from her parents. She still couldn’t internalize what was happening. She watched over her shoulder as her father receded in the distance, and she hoped this was just a terrible dream from which she would soon awaken.

  Plane Ride

  Chapter 5

  The attendant led the sad and frightened young girl to the airplane, and for the first time since Star had arrived at the airport, she began to feel how little she was. The airport was huge and filled with bustling crowds of people. Every angle was bright and reflective, like a hospital. To the left, as they walked, Star saw massive, plate glass windows. She gazed out, seeing a number of planes waiting in the terminal.

  Even though her heart was broken, she couldn't help but feel a small ripple of excitement. She was going to ride a plane!

  “Those are cool,” she told the flight attendant, who looked down at her and smiled.

  “Aren’t they? Just think…you get to ride one! That’s pretty awesome, huh?” Kim responded. Star nodded in agreement, but she wished that her daddy was standing next to her.

  “Here we are honey, here’s our plane.” The attendant gave Star’s hand a gentle squeeze. “Don’t worry sweetie, it’s going to be okay.”

  Star didn’t know what the pretty flight attendant knew about her, and maybe she knew nothing at all, but hearing Kim’s reassuring words made her feel a little better. She watched as the attendant handed her boarding pass to a second attendant dressed in a similar uniform. The woman tapped a few keys on the computer terminal in front of her and then nodded to Kim.

  “You’re all set, sweetie,” Kim said with a reassuring smile. “Let’s get you boarded, and then I’ll bring you some food and sit with you until we land, okay?”

  Star looked up and forced a polite smile. The truth was, she felt overwhelmed. Her heart was crumbling at the thought of leaving her father and stepmother behind; yet, at the same time, a nervous flutter of excitement was churning in her tummy.

  “Thank you, ma’am,” Star managed. She walked hand in hand with the attendant, stepping onto the bouncy corridor of the ramp leading to the plane. Once on board, Kim guided her to her seat, which happened to be next to a window.

  “Here we are…go ahead and have a seat. I’ll put your suitcase up here for you.” Kim pointed to the overhead storage compartment. “Would you like a pillow so you can sleep?”

  “Yes, Please.” Star sat straight in her seat and brushed out the wrinkles in her dress. With a few minutes to herself, she began to think about her dad standing in the terminal. She remembered the cold smile on her stepmother’s face. For the first time in her young life, she felt something akin to intense dislike for the person she had always known as Mom.

  A short time later, Kim returned with a small pillow and a tray of food for Star. She pulled down the table tucked into the seat in front of her and opened an orange juice.

  The plane remained grounded on the runway for at least twenty minutes. By the time it lifted off, Star had finished her meal. Kim removed the tray, attended to the needs of nearby passengers, and then came and sat with Star. The attendant asked lots of questions, and for a little while, Star forgot her troubles. Nothing cheered her up more than meeting new people.

  She told Kim about her nanny, and about how the heavyset woman used to eat all of the food in the house. She confessed about her parents’ gambling problem and explained it was why she was being sent to Montana. She felt proud that she had told her story bravely without crying.

  Kim listened with patience, but it seemed her mouth turned into a slight frown. Star couldn't understand why the woman would be sad. Her life wasn’t that bad. Soon her daddy would send for her and her normal life would resume. Little did she know how wrong those words would prove to be.

  Grandpa

  Chapter 6

  After a few minutes of staring out at the clouds and the bright blue sky that seemed to stretch forever, Star grew tired of talking. She pushed her pillow against the window and laid her head on it, falling asleep almost instantly. She began to dream. The troll was back, and it was laughing at her.

  Star was awakened by a gentle shaking. The flight attendant was looking down at her and saying,

  “Star…honey, we are almost there. You slept through lunch, would you like something?”

  Star looked out the window and saw nothing but clouds and sky. On her best behavior still, she nodded politely.

  “Okay, I’ll be right back.” Kim walked down the aisle and returned several minutes later with another tray.

  Ten minutes later, a deep, pleasant voice announced: “Attention passengers, this is your captain. We will be landing in approximately forty-five minutes. Please gather your belongings and return all flight trays to your attendants. We hope you’ve had a pleasant trip and thank you for flying Southwest.”

  The realization that Star was about to meet her grandpa for the first time she could remember made her giddy with excitement. She talked to him often on the phone but hadn’t seen him in person since she was a baby. If not for the photographs he’d sent her, she would have no idea what he looked like.

  The nervous energy in her tummy was building. She was going to see her grandpa! And she was going to live with a family she had never met. The flight attendant came back and sat next to her. Moments later, the plane began its descent.

  Star watched with fascination as the plane landed on the tarmac. Within minutes of landing, she was escorted off of the plane and onto the unloading ramp. Kim took her by the hand and led her to the seating nearest their terminal.

  “Who’s coming to get you?” Kim asked as she took a seat.

  “Oh, my grandpa is!” Star could feel herself lighting up and beg
inning to look forward to this adventure. She felt a sudden burst of excitement as a familiar voice called to her, “Hey, little sweetie!”

  Star jumped off the chair and ran towards the sound. A tall, thin man with gray hair approached her. His gentle face was wrinkled and smiling. She would recognize that face anywhere! She jumped in her grandfather’s arms and he lifted her up, hugging her close. She inhaled the scent of Old Spice cologne.

  “Grandpa!” Star cried happily. She was grinning from ear to ear, never mind what the future held. Kim rose from her seat and greeted Star’s grandfather. “Hello, Sir…Here is her bag. Are you guys all set?”

  The man lowered Star to the ground and she ran to hug the flight attendant. “Thank you for everything,” he said. The flight attendant smiled sweetly at Star, handed her meager belongings to her grandfather, and then turned and walked away. Star felt a sadness descend on her heart as another person walked out of her life.

  “Come on little sweetie, let’s get something to eat.”

  “Okay,” Star answered, her mood brightening. She grabbed her grandfather’s hand and skipped along beside him as he walked to a modest, blue economy car in the parking lot.

  New Family

  Chapter 7

  Star was delighted that she was allowed to spend the night at her grandpa’s house before he took her to meet her new, temporary family. Her grandpa lived in a small mobile home near a beautiful lake. It was peaceful compared to the sound of slot machines and bright lights that dazzled her senses back home in Las Vegas whenever she went out with her dad or stepmom.

  After breakfast, they went to a park and fed the ducks as they talked. Star’s grandfather promised that he would try to pick her up every weekend so they could spend time together. This news made Star happy indeed. For the first time since she had been told that her parents were sending her away, she began to feel as if things might not be so bad after all.

  For lunch, they went to a little diner located next to a Mom and Pop grocery store. Her grandpa let her order a Shirley Temple, and as she sipped the bubbly, cherry-flavored drink, she thought it might have been the best thing she had ever tasted.

  Not long after they were seated at a dark wood dining table, a large, beautiful woman with hair that cascaded down to her waist joined them. She had coffee-colored eyes and a friendly smile. As much as Star wanted to dislike her, the woman’s easy nature made it impossible for her to do so. Star’s grandfather exchanged a friendly greeting with the woman, and then she sat down at the table.

  “Diane, this is Star.” Her grandpa smiled and nodded, urging Star to say hello to the woman.

  “Hi, Diane.” Star said in a shy, weak voice.

  “Hi there, kiddo!” Diane stretched her hand across the table with palm open in a friendly gesture. Star looked at the hand for a moment and blinked before putting her tiny fingers in it. Diane’s hand was silky soft and warm.

  “You can call me Dee, if you like,” the woman said.

  “Okay.” Star gave a little shrug and reluctantly returned the woman’s smile.

  “I know you're concerned, little one, but you don’t need to be,” Diane said. “I have a big house and you’ll have your own room and five brothers.”

  “Five brothers?” Star’s eyebrows arched at the thought of five boys in the same house with her. For her short time on Earth, she had been a single child. She hadn’t even started school, and the thought of being in a house with that many boys made her tummy flip.

  “Yes, but don’t worry. They are all in school, so you won’t see them for most of the day. It will be just you and me. How does that sound?”

  “Ummm…Okay…” Star knew she should be more thankful. This woman seemed nice—and she was willing to take her into her home. Except now, the good feelings she had felt when she first met Diane had faded. She could imagine living with her, but she could not imagine living with five boys.

  “You’ll like living with me. We can go shopping and talk girl stuff while the boys are at school. Would you like that?”

  Star looked down at her hands, which had retreated under the table and lay folded in her lap, and she answered,

  “Yes, ma’am.” Her mind returned to the reality that her parents had sent her away. Now she was sitting in a restaurant in a strange town with her grandpa, and she was being sent to live with a woman she didn’t know who had five boys, who also were complete strangers. The woman was nice enough, but she wasn’t family. Star wasn’t even sure how her parents knew this lady.

  “Do you want to take her now, and I’ll bring her stuff by later?” Star’s grandfather asked.

  Diane answered with a cheerful grin, “I’d love to take her now. Does she have much stuff?”

  “No, just a small suitcase.” The two adults exchanged glances, and Star noticed that they both looked sad. She couldn’t help but wonder why.

  “Good, then we’ll go shopping. Would you like that, Star?” The woman’s voice had become a bit high-pitched, as if she was nervous. Star noticed it and instead of answering enthusiastically, she simply nodded.

  “All right, little sweetie. I am going to get your things, and I’ll be by later okay?” Star’s grandpa said. “Remember to use your manners and say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’” Her grandpa moved his chair back and stood up. Diane stood up as well. Star’s face creased into a frown as she fought back tears and wondered, Oh no…is it time already? She felt her palms begin to sweat.

  “You be a good girl, okay?”

  “Yes, grandpa.” Star climbed out of her chair and wrapped her arms around his legs, wondering why she couldn’t stay with him. Why did she have to live with strangers? She knew it was too late to ask that question now, and a gnawing tension had begun to form in the pit of her tummy.

  Maybe I’m not good enough. Maybe that’s why my mom and dad got rid of me. The idea played again and again in her young mind.

  “Come on Star…let’s do some shopping!” Diane’s face was lit with a happy smile, and Star stuffed her own emotions inside, pretending she was happy too. It was something she would learn to do and practice quite often over the years.

  Star watched her grandpa’s back as he went up to pay the cashier, and then she waved at him as he left. Diane held out her hand so that Star could hold it, and reluctantly she did.

  Playing House

  Chapter 8

  Star loved her room, and she really liked the fact that her mattress was on a real bed frame, elevated off the floor. She loved having clothes that were clean and smelled nice— not like cigarettes or stale beer. She never worried about being hungry or going without.

  For a while, Star loved her new life. She enjoyed sitting and talking with Diane about things that were much older than her understanding. Dee, or “Mom” as Star had begun to call her, treated her like a grownup, and they were great shopping buddies.

  Star adjusted to having “brothers” for the first time, although she knew they didn’t really like her. They all managed to get along for a while. Then, shortly after her sixth birthday, things began to change.

  One night, she was awakened by her hand being dipped in warm water, and she saw a snickering boy standing at the foot of her bed. She wouldn’t discover until much later that this was why she had a bedwetting problem, which made Diane’s husband extremely angry.

  He spanked her every time she wet the bed, which only intensified the problem. When he began using the belt, Star stuffed toilet paper in her pants before he whipped her, hoping to blunt the pain from the sting of the leather hide.

  The boys’ attitudes changed as well. Not only did they do things that got Star in trouble, like dipping her hand in warm water so she would wet the bed, but they taunted her mercilessly whenever Diane and her husband were not around.

  Star felt the world began to crash around her. She desperately wanted to get away from this place. Every time her grandfather picked her up to visit on the weekends, she would eagerly inquire about her dad. Had her grandpa heard any
thing? When was her dad coming to get her? The answer was always the same. Her dad wasn’t able to come yet—he didn’t have the money.

  During her first winter in Montana, the temperatures plummeted and it was too cold to play outdoors. Star spent a lot of time playing in the basement of the big house. She would pretend to cook and play house with her dolls. With Diane’s husband out of the house and Diane being the only one at home except for the younger son, Star began to feel a pit of loneliness growing inside of her.

  The youngest brother rarely talked to Star. He was always the first to get home from school. He was younger than his siblings but a few years older than Star. He rarely said much and mostly kept to himself. It was a surprise to Star when he started coming downstairs to the basement to play house with her. She would cook and clean and ask him to “mow the lawn” while she took care of the baby. She thought they were developing a friendship, and she was happy to have someone to play with.

  One day, he invited her to play a game that she didn’t quite understand. He asked,

  “Hey Star, do you want to make the baby come alive?”

  Star, who was busy cooking an imaginary meal, turned to him and asked with a confused frown, “What do you mean?”

  “I know how to make the baby come alive,” he answered with a knowing smile. Star looked at her plastic doll, wondering how it could possibly be made to “come alive.”

  “It’s just a toy, Joey. You can’t make it come alive.” She placed a hand on her hip and scowled at him indignantly.

  “Nuh-uh, you can make it come alive,” he insisted. “Want to know how?”

  Star nodded, curious to hear the explanation. Joey proceeded to describe doing things with their boy and girl parts, and Star’s heart beat nervously. Something inside of her wanted to run.

  “Eeeeeew! That’s gross! I don’t want to do that,” she answered, scrunching her face in disgust. She couldn’t understand why boys were so disgusting.