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"Fuck, Alex, I--" Zed took a deep breath. "I haven't woken up next to anyone else for six months. I just thought it was you."

  "Yeah, it coulda happened to anyone." Alex gulped down the rest of his coffee. "It could have easily been me groping Rhys."

  "I wasn't-- Ah, fuck it, what's the point?" Zed collected his blanket and pillow, removing them and himself from the tent in silence. Fuck, Alex could be a dick when he wanted to be. He threw the items back into his tent and stalked over to the others, where breakfast was up. Some bacon and an egg between two pieces of toast should see him right 'til lunch time. If he could keep it down. This fight with Alex had his stomach tied in knots, the coffee he'd already drunk churning like acid.

  Alex wandered up to the group, refilled his coffee mug, and grabbed some toast. If anyone wondered why he and Zed were very carefully ignoring each other, no one said anything. Most of their friends seemed still half asleep. Or maybe hung-over was a better word. Zed was just miserable.

  Phil had been gathering wood -- fallen branches, old and broken planks from sheds -- and had built a huge bonfire on the site of the previous night's smaller one. He'd promised a party with plenty of food, drink, music, dancing and fireworks. The way Zed felt now, he didn't think he'd even bother showing his face there. In fact, if he and Alex still weren't talking by the evening, he'd go home. Arguing with Alex had always put a downer on things -- and that was when they'd just been friends. It was a thousand times worse now. Funnily enough, so were the arguments.

  Zed looked over at Alex, his breath catching as it always did when he looked at his boyfriend. Sun streaked brown hair shone, and his smile was quick as he talked to Becca and Mel. As if Alex could feel Zed watching him -- and he probably could, the amount of time they'd known each other -- he looked over. The smile dimmed, and an icy splinter pierced Zed's heart. He turned away.

  Alex knew how Zed felt about him. Zed had given Alex that power to hurt him so badly. Was it any wonder he'd not given any of the boyfriends before Alex that opportunity? Alex had thought Zed a slut, but it was more a case of self preservation. All those guys had shown him affection -- some had even said they loved him -- but he'd never given them any reason to think they were special to him. Therefore, they couldn't hurt him.

  The love he'd had specifically for his parents had rarely been returned. Sure, he'd never wanted for anything. All the latest toys and books, and later, game consoles, games and computers had been his for the asking. Anything material he could have. Parental love was a little harder to come by. There were times when he wondered why he'd even been born.

  ***

  Late morning found Zed and Alex carefully avoiding each other, and the others carefully pretending nothing was wrong. The darkness of the barn reflected Zed's mood perfectly. With nothing to distract him, he was clearing junk very efficiently. Where the excess energy had come from was anyone's guess. Maybe his adrenaline was peaking through his anger and annoyance. He spoke to those that spoke to him and listened when Phil told him what needed doing next. He was, all in all, the perfect employee.

  Every now and then, Alex's laughter would filter into his air-space. Seemed that his boyfriend -- ex? -- was having a great time out in the sun with the girls. Did this argument mean nothing to him? Did he consider it to be Zed's problem and all would be okay when Zed chose to 'get over himself'? Well, Zed had news for Alex.

  "I thought you loved me."

  Zed looked up from the tractor motor he was dissembling. What the fuck was that? A voice, but like none that he'd ever heard. Thin, high and... whispery. Did he even hear it, or was it twigs scraping against the roof of the barn? He glanced behind him, becoming uneasy at the back of the large barn by himself, despite the makeshift lights. Indeed, the shadows they cast were very eerie. Zed knew there'd be no one there; there was nothing to hide behind anymore. Phil and Blake had ripped out as much of the decaying wooden stalls as they could. The cloying florally smell wafted past him and the air grew chill.

  "Who's there?" he hissed.

  Like it was going to answer him. Not that there was anything there, anyway. He felt stupid talking to nothing; it would almost confirm his mental instability to the others. Zed shook his head and turned his attention back to the motor, glad that he'd hung around Alex the few times Alex had tinkered with his dad's car.

  "We were supposed to be together forever."

  Okay, that was definitely a voice. Female. Once again, Zed looked behind him before standing and backing away from the motor. He'd never heard voices before, but obviously there was a first time for everything. The lights flickered, dimmed menacingly, and then came back brighter than they had been, illuminating everything as if to show Zed that there really was nothing there. The chill became threatening. With a soft phut, the lights went out completely, plunging the rear of the barn into darkness. The chill disappeared, replaced with soft humidity... and that scent of Chanel. Zed turned and ran for the sunlight and warmth. Who cared if they thought him unstable? He had papers somewhere certifying him as such, it'd be a shame to waste them.

  "Whoa, where's the fire?" Rhys asked as he came around the barn with the empty wheelbarrow and nearly collided with Zed.

  Zed glanced behind him. No, no fire. No nothing to be honest. The lights were on, behaving as lights should. He shook his head and wished his heart beat would slow. "Nothing... um, it just got hot in there. That's all."

  Rhys laughed. "I don't think it's any better out here. It's gonna be a scorcher."

  Zed nodded and took a deep breath. Obviously he didn't look as panicked as he felt. "Smells nicer out here though. And the air is fresh. Think I'll grab a drink."

  "Good idea, I could use one too." Rhys headed toward the house. "Maybe we can sneak a sandwich too."

  That sounded good. Zed followed Rhys. "Have you noticed anything odd around here?"

  Rhys stopped and turned to face Zed. "You mean other than everything being either run-down or broken? Other than it's a run-down broken farm in the middle of fuckin' nowhere?"

  Zed laughed. "Yeah, apart from that."

  "Nah, just the usual country stuff. I swear the mosquitoes are ten times bigger here -- and there are ten times more of them."

  Zed nodded and continued up to the house. Maybe that was it. Different noises, fighting with Alex, the heat. There was no other explanation for hearing voices and the odd things that were happening. "How likely are those lights in the barn to go out?"

  "Hell, I'm surprised we got them to work. All the electrical stuff needs to checked out by a qualified electrician. Why?"

  "They were flickering and went out before." And fuck, didn't that sound stupid now? He shrugged. "I don't know much about electrical..." he finished off, lamely.

  "Hmm, that doesn't sound good." Rhys pushed open the back door to the house. "Better unplug everything just to be safe." He entered and scanned the shell of a house. "Don't think Tania's here." He smiled. "Can definitely sneak a sandwich or two."

  The thought of food, now that he was actually faced with it, nauseated Zed. "Think I'll just have some water." He opened the cooler, reached into it and grabbed one of the cold bottles. The icy cold reminded him of the sudden chill in the barn. Even if everything else could be explained away, as easily as the lights, on faulty wiring, what could possibly explain that? The cold he'd experienced had been colder than the inside of the cooler.

  "Sorry about this morning," Rhys said, already munching on a peanut butter sandwich.

  "Not your fault."

  "Yeah, but I hate being the cause of trouble between you two." Rhys washed down the peanut butter with some cold water.

  Zed shrugged, hoping he looked as if it wasn't bothering him half as much as it was. "It'll be okay; we'll keep out of each other's way for a while."

  "As much as it pains me to say," Rhys paused, "you two are great together."

  A lump formed in Zed's throat, and he swallowed a mouthful of water to move it. He nodded to Rhys. "Hopefully it will stay that way."


  Rhys rested his arm on Zed's shoulder and leaned in close, so their noses were nearly touching. "Alex isn't stupid. It'll blow over."

  Zed took a deep breath and smiled at how blurry Rhys' eyes were this close, until he realized it was his eyes blurring with tears. Oh, fuck. He pushed away from Rhys and turned around. "He's not, but I am."

  Zed hurriedly brushed away the tears that threatened to spill as Rhys' strong arms wrapped around his waist.

  "Hey, you're not stupid." He rested his chin on Zed's shoulder. "Alex will realize he's being an ass and the two of you will keep us up all night with the sounds of your making up."

  Zed shook his head and removed Rhys' arms, moving a couple of steps away. "Nah, I should have... I shouldn't... He thought I was a slut before we got together; he's seen me date three guys at the same time. I guess he's just waiting for it to happen with him."

  "He's got to know that neither of us was really awake."

  "He doesn't want to know that I thought you were him. Or that maybe I was hoping he wasn't awake. Dunno." Zed poured what was left of his water on his head, sighing as it dripped down his neck and back. "That pond is looking good today."

  "Yeah, everyone should be heading that way soon with this heat."

  "We could get an early start; I don't feel like going back in the barn." Ever! But after a quick dip and maybe some lunch -- he'd see how his stomach felt -- Zed might be up to tackling it again and ignore those voices in his head. Was it too early to get drunk?

  "The barn's not so bad -- better than fighting weeds that are taller than me." Rhys wolfed down the rest of his sandwich and water. "Let's go swimming. Or will Alex freak out?"

  "Alex already freaked out, in his own non-freaking out way." Oh, yes, Zed was under no illusions about Alex's feelings on the morning's mistaken identity incident. "I can't get in any more trouble. Let's do it."

  "I've seen Alex's right hook..." Rhys shrugged. "At least I'll be able to fix it, if he breaks my nose."

  "He won't hit you; he'll blame me." Zed left the house, followed by Rhys just in time to see Alex and Tania waking toward them.

  "An early break, boys?" Tania looked at her watch. "Won't look good on your time sheets."

  Rhys snorted. "Maybe we should put in for a pay raise; the conditions we're working under are deplorable."

  Tania answered something, but Zed tuned their good natured bantering out when his eyes met Alex's. Cold and accusing as they flicked between himself and Rhys.

  "Clandestine lunch?" Alex asked, his voice as cold as his gaze.

  "Not that you'd believe me, but no. Needed water." Zed had no idea why he was explaining himself. Alex would just believe the worst, probably.

  Alex snorted. "Yeah, whatever."

  "Fuck you." Zed stalked off to the pond, uncaring of whether Rhys followed or not.

  "Zed, wait up," Rhys called out.

  "Better hurry, Rhys, keep an eye on him before he finds someone else."

  Alex's comment reached Zed's ears, and he stopped. That was way below the belt. Alex never fought like that, not even when they were kids. Not even with the bullies that were picking on Zed during high school. And definitely not with any of his lovers. Alex had always been a gentleman when breaking his relationships off with girlfriends, even ones that had become clingy and annoying. It was as if he was possessed. He'd never let a little thing get out of hand like this fight was doing, either. He'd usually brood for a couple of hours, tell Zed he was an idiot and they'd have hot and heavy make-up sex. They both agreed that was the best thing about fighting and, as a result, fights never lasted long. The person throwing these bitchy comments around wasn't the Alex he knew and loved.

  "He doesn't mean it." Rhys stopped next to Zed. "He's just annoyed."

  "Yeah, but you're not helping."

  "What am I supposed to do? Ignore you?" Rhys asked. "I won't. You're my friend."

  But Rhys was part of the problem, Zed could see that. He could tell Rhys to piss off, but that would hurt Rhys' feelings. On the other hand, having Rhys hanging around wasn't helping his case that there was nothing between them. Especially given the way Rhys was shadowing him now.

  "Look, Rhys, sometimes I just need to be alone. I feel like I'm cracking up. Working in that barn--" Zed shrugged. "I dunno, it's getting to me. The lights and voices and--"

  "Voices?"

  "I know. Stupid, right? It's in my head, and the lights flickering is just the old wiring. It wouldn't spook me so much if Alex--"

  Rhys turned to face Zed. "There has to be a logical explanation for the 'voices'."

  "There is, I'm insane. But you know that."

  "You're not insane." Rhys threw an arm around Zed's neck and almost dragged him back to the barn. "A little crazy maybe..."

  Zed laughed, as he was supposed to, but he knew his brain didn't work the same way as everyone else's. It didn't matter what anyone said. Though hearing voices was new. The suicide attempt and anything stupid he'd done since then had been his own idea; no voices in his head telling him to do any of it. Mind you, maybe the alcohol had quieted them.

  He stopped suddenly when they reached the barn. "Can you feel that?"

  "What?"

  "It's cooler. And... dunno, sort of..." Unsure of how to put his exact feelings into words, Zed gestured vaguely and darted a look behind him. "I feel like someone's watching... like they don't want me here... it's fucking scary."

  Rhys looked around. "Nah, it's just the creepy run-down barn. Anyone would feel uneasy in there -- except maybe Igor." He grinned.

  Travis caught sight of them and checked his watch. "Lunchtime, cool. C'mon guys," he called to Jon and Blake, who were in a stall. Travis picked up his discarded T-shirt and wiped his face with it, his deliciously bronzed torso glistening with sweat. There was something to be said for men who worked outdoors and spent their weekends chasing waves.

  "Trav," Zed stopped Travis as he walked past. "Um... don't suppose you noticed--" Fuck, why didn't Travis put his shirt on? Seriously distracted, Zed looked over Travis' shoulder rather than focus on his pecs. "Er... anything strange. In the barn."

  "Nah, buddy. You guys?"

  Jon and Blake shook their heads. "Why?"

  "Huh?" Zed dragged himself back from a quick fantasy involving him, Travis, a surfboard and a deserted beach -- he hated beaches. "Oh, just..."

  "Zed being a girl." Jon finished Zed's sentence. "The mice and spiders spook you?"

  Blake shot Jon a venomous look. "I haven't seen any mice, dick. Come to think of it, that's odd in itself."

  "Whatever." Jon stalked off.

  "There you go; it's only me." Zed gave Travis a wan smile instead of leaping on him. What was going on with everyone? Jon was back to snarky, and Zed had never felt sexually attracted to Travis. He was hot, sure, but also the most heterosexual male that Zed had ever met. While he was never anything but friendly toward Zed, his vibes had barbed wire on them. Zed found nothing sexually attractive in such an aggressively het male.

  Rhys grabbed Travis' flashlight. "I'm gonna check it out -- you coming?"

  "Not me, pal." Travis grinned. "Gonna grab Kitty and cool off, then eat." He wandered off in the direction of the girls.

  Blake, on the other hand, led the way into the barn. He grabbed his flashlight and continued to the very back. "Why are the lights out?"

  "Bad wiring," Zed offered by way of lame explanation. The air was already stifling, trying to choke him.

  "But it's just an extension cord -- and a new one at that." Blake tapped his flashlight as it flickered.

  The beam of Rhys' flashlight illuminated stray bits of straw, the tractor engine, dusty cobwebs. "You're right, Blake, no mice, living or dead. Not even any sign of them. And no spiders." He laughed. "Did you not think new batteries might be a good idea?"

  "They are new." Blake frowned, and his light went out.

  "See, there is something." Zed moved closer to Rhys.

  "Doesn't mean anything." Blake muttered. "They might'v
e gotten damp."

  "In this weather?"

  "Good point. Humidity perhaps..." Blake opened the flashlight and let the batteries slide into his palm. They were as corroded as any that had been left for years on end. "Nah, these were new. I've got more, I'll grab 'em after lunch."

  Next to Zed, Rhys shivered. "It is cold back here."

  Thank God. Or did that just make Rhys crazy as well? "You feel that? It's icy cold." The chill permeated Zed's bones. "It was like a sauna here yesterday."

  Rhys' light died; it didn't even bother flickering. In the short, uncertain silence, a high pitched giggle sounded.

  Zed froze. It wasn't rational, he knew that, but he was terrified. "Hear that?" His voice shook. "There's something there. Fucking Opal's ghost." He took off, not stopping 'til he was at the pond, in the sunlight -- warmth seeping back into him. He dropped to sit on the grass; his heart was thumping and he was breathing hard -- more like he'd run a marathon rather than a few hundred feet. But there were noises. Happy; his friends shouting and laughing, splashing and swimming. Normal, hot, day-to-day noises. Nothing sinister.

  Rhys' and Blake's footsteps signaled their arrival a scant minute later.

  "Did you hear it?" Zed demanded. "Her fucking laughing at us."

  "Yeah," they both answered, their faces drained of color.

  "So either you're crazy, too, or there is something there."

  "There's something there all right," Blake whispered.

  "I heard something, but there has to be a logical explanation..." Rhys countered.

  "That's what I thought, until she spoke," Zed said, in an attempt to seem more rational. "Maybe trees moving against the barn roof or something. And those batteries? What about them?"

  Blake looked toward the barn, worrying his bottom lip. "A bad batch?"

  Zed nodded. "Uh-huh. Perfect one day, corroded the next. Not even those batteries Scott bought from the dollar store were that bad. And they were pretty bad." Vibrating toys that only vibrated for a few minutes at a time tended to disrupt passionate foreplay.

  "A bad batch mixed with all this 'fresh' country air," Rhys said, determined to find a logical reason.