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  silence.

  Debris was speeding toward us on the edge of the blastwave, pattering on my blast-shield like rain, colliding with Kerenza VII’s atmos and burning through every color of the rainbow. I could still hear Prophet’s voice on comms, but I can’t remember what he was saying. Maybe he was still asking for an explanation. Maybe he was praying. I honestly can’t tell you.

  I could still see the shuttles streaking toward us, came to my senses, like someone turned the universal volume back on. I could see other Cyclones popping up on my spatials—more flight groups scrambled from Alexander. I’d tried hailing the lead shuttle on open comms, on the day’s secure frequencies, on universal. Nothing. But someone had to be flying them—they’d been moving too erratically for autopilot scripts. And then AIDAN spoke again.

  “Major Hawking, intercept Osprey Group and destroy. Acknowledge.”

  I heard Dreadnought talk on open comms, then. That’s when I knew we were in real shit.

  “Jah … ,” she said. “Jah, help us.”

  Prophet requested confirmation. “AIDAN, say again? You want us to fire on civilians?”

  “Quarantine breach in motion. Class Alpha Zero pathogen. Intercept Osprey Group and destroy. Acknowledge.”

  “Oh, god … ,“said Carlin.

  “Quarantine breach in motion. Class Alpha Zero pathogen. Intercept Osprey Group and destroy. Acknowledge.”

  “Intercept Osprey Group and destroy. Acknowledge.”

  “Intercept Osprey Group and destroy. Acknowledge.”

  “Intercept Osprey Group and destroy. Acknowledge.”

  In the six months since we left Kerenza, we have been pursued by the BeiTech vessel BT042-TN, the ship we know as the Lincoln. We owe the Alexander, her crew and the United Terran Authority military a great debt of gratitude for their protection.

  We are still several months from reaching a jump waypoint, and the Lincoln will use any means within her power to prevent us from reaching that safe passage, and telling the rest of the galaxy of the atrocities perpetuated by BeiTech on the Kerenza colony.

  It is with deepest regret I inform you all that last night at 21:15 (shipboard time), the Lincoln launched a surprise assault on our fleet, resulting in the destruction of the heavy freighter Copernicus.

  I know many of you had friends, family and colleagues aboard the Copernicus, as did I. Survivors aboard nine shuttles were rescued during the assault by the Alexander’s Cyclone pilots, and we extend to them our heartfelt thanks for their heroic efforts.

  Due to the health concerns on the Copernicus in recent times, the survivors have been quarantined aboard the Alexander. This has slowed our efforts to compile a list of names and details, however, please rest assured we understand the urgency of this task.

  We are renewing our efforts to make good time toward a jump waypoint, and safety. Please assist and support those around you who have lost family, friends or colleagues. Memorial and pan-denominational services will be arranged shortly, and details posted in the mess halls.

  ByteMe: u seen the PIR? it’s bullshit

  CitB: huge surprise, the brass r lying. KNEW this was coming

  ByteMe: u psychic now?

  CitB: should have started digging when they took down civilian comms on the Copernicus. maintenance, my ass.

  ByteMe: so they were hiding something, let’s work out what

  CitB: you got any gen?

  ByteMe: working on it now.

  CitB: u still there?

  ByteMe: trying to get past the ICE wall, takes a while. systems are SO busy over there. seems like they have their main engines off, but that makes no sense. we should be accelerating fast as we can, before the Lincoln gets busy again.

  CitB: tick tock tick tock

  ByteMe: u can do any better, feel free

  CitB: sorry. r u ok?

  ByteMe: fine. found a court martial list

  CitB: …

  CitB: say again?

  ByteMe: they’re court martialing the pilots that heroically saved all the people on the Copernicus shuttles

  CitB: what the fuck?

  ByteMe: got the records here. u tell me why they do that if the pilots were under orders

  CitB: not the only mystery, grasshopper. i’m hunting for any scans or records showing Lincoln got close enough to us to take a shot. nothing so far. it’s still way behind us, far as i can tell

  ByteMe: so no attack from Lincoln, and they’re court martialing our pilots. are we saying it was our guys who took out the Copernicus?

  CitB: fuck me

  ByteMe: ew no

  CitB: this is getting weirder and weirder. but that can wait, trying to find u a survivor list first

  ByteMe: don’t need one

  CitB: course you do

  ByteMe: i don’t want to talk about it

  CitB: you need to know who made it off

  ByteMe: i need to know who shot down the Copernicus, that’s the real mystery here

  CitB: look, we both know i have no social skills, but if you need to talk about it

  ByteMe: need you to tell me what you’re finding

  CitB: …

  CitB: finding something weird.

  CitB: I can’t get a read on AIDAN. thought I was just hitting ICE walls but it’s more like nobody’s home …

  PILOT IDENT: Cayla Alton (UTN-924-776ad)

  RANK: Major

  CALLSIGN: Sting

  FLIGHT GROUP: Delta

  PILOT IDENT: Eli Hawking (UTN-912-842ad)

  RANK: Major

  CALLSIGN: Prophet

  FLIGHT GROUP: Echo

  PILOT IDENT: Zhenya Alvaranga (UTN-945-817ad)

  RANK: First Lieutenant

  CALLSIGN: Dreadnought

  FLIGHT GROUP: Echo

  PILOT IDENT: Ezra Mason (UTN-966-330ad)

  RANK: Second Lieutenant

  CALLSIGN: N/A

  ——LIST INCOMPLETE——

  ——ACCESS INTERRUPTED——-

  I’ve tried writing this email ten times already and I can’t get it right, so I’m just going to send this through, whatever it ends up saying.

  I’m sorry I didn’t write you back. I should have. I mean, when you say “I’m never going to speak to you again,” you don’t think your planet’s going to be invaded that afternoon. It was more, you know, an opening position on negotiations. I was angry.

  But you said in your email maybe the universe was telling us it wasn’t going to work out. You’re the most romantic idiot I know, so I guess if you think so, it must be true. That stung, but still, I’m sorry I didn’t write back. Because yeah, I should have let you know I was okay.

  I’m still on the Hypatia, I’m in intel training. Since I heard about the Copernicus, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you—this is not me retracting my promise to kick you into the soprano range if you ever come near me again, but I had to check you’re okay. So, let me know if you’re okay, then we can go back to being … whatever we are now.

  Kady

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: well played, McNulty. well played, indeed

  McNulty, J, Sgt: wut

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: You have just overstepped the line, chum. I put you on notice

  McNulty, J, Sgt: this my wtf face—-> ?_?

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: What I want to know is how you jacked her User ID. You pull in Dorian from commtechs to help? What did you do to convince him to help? Blowjob?

  McNulty, J, Sgt: r u dusted or sumthing

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: I thought the chipheads would have their hands full trying to figure out what made AIDAN go all HAL on us, instead, they’re piggybacking secure IDs and helping you fuck with my head. I didn’t think your blow jobs were that good

  McNulty, J, Sgt: chum wtf u talkin bout

 
Mason, E, LT 2nd: I take this as a declaration of war. Presuming they don’t line me up against a bulkhead and shoot me after my court martial tomorrow, I will be making sweet, sweet love to your sister by week’s end. This I do solemnly vow

  McNulty, J, Sgt: ezra don’t joke about my sister I fucking warned u

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: sweet

  McNulty, J, Sgt: chum …

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: sweet

  McNulty, J, Sgt: mason …

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: lurrrrrrve

  McNulty, J, Sgt: DON’T JOKE ABOUT MY FUCKING SISTERCOCKSUCKER I WILL RIP OFF UR FUCKING SQUIB AND JAM IT UP YOUR FUCKING ASS

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: I LIKED THIS GIRL. I TOLD U THAT. I MAY NOT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO WALKSTRAIGHT AT THE TIME BUT YOU SAID IT WAS IN THE VAULT

  McNulty, J, Sgt: WUT GIRL U CRAYZ FUCK

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: KADY GRANT

  McNulty, J, Sgt: … who?

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: oh you don’t know, fuck you chum, this is some pistols at dawn shit right here

  McNulty, J, Sgt: mason I have NO FUCKING IDEA wut u r talking bout rite now

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: so you didn’t send this message

  McNulty, J, Sgt: WUT MESSAGE

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: I send u

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: got?

  McNulty, J, Sgt: roger that

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: and?

  McNulty, J, Sgt: READING FUCK

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: *taps fingers*

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: Fuck me how long it take you to read you illiterate fuck

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: I heard your sister likes it zero gee true/false?

  McNulty, J, Sgt: chum this wasn’t me

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: i smell lies

  McNulty, J, Sgt: srsly

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: eat a dick

  McNulty, J, Sgt: MASON

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: Yummy scrummy dick

  McNulty, J, Sgt: LOOK AT THIS WRITING I DO NOT WRITE LIKE THIS SHE GOT ALL PUNCTUATIONS AND THINGS

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: if you are lying, all jokes aside, i will totally gun for your sister

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: I swear to god I will make her my bride

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: … although now you mention it, your punctuation is fucking ungodly. …

  McNulty, J, Sgt: “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you”

  McNulty, J, Sgt: CHum

  McNulty, J, Sgt: You are IN

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: …

  McNulty, J, Sgt: PICKING CURTAINS

  McNulty, J, Sgt: MEETING PARENTS

  McNulty, J, Sgt: MAKING PUPPIES

  McNulty, J, Sgt: wait didn’t u say this fem rolled u up and smoked u

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: ripped my heart out my chest

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: Showed it to me, still beating

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: then slam-dunked it off the ice shelf

  McNulty, J, Sgt: she get good air?

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: fuck you chum

  McNulty, J, Sgt: cheer up, bitch. She wouldn’t have written if her loins did not ache for thee

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: can u read? She threatening to kick me in the sopranos. She says it’s over.

  McNulty, J, Sgt: “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you”

  McNulty, J, Sgt: “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you”

  McNulty, J, Sgt: “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you”

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: ALRIGHT SHUT UP FUCKER

  McNulty, J, Sgt: read between the lines fool

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: zzzz, so what do I say to her?

  McNulty, J, Sgt: nfi. probably start by apologizing for wutever u did

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: what makes you think it was my fault?

  McNulty, J, Sgt: because it’s ALWAYS the chum’s fault, chum

  McNulty, J, Sgt: u got extra-curricular didn’t u?

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: fuck no. I’d have no sopranos to kick if i’d done dirty

  McNulty, J, Sgt: come on, u can tell uncle Jimmy

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: shut up i like this fem

  McNulty, J, Sgt: AND SHE OBVS STILL LIKES U OR SHE WOULDN’T BE WRITING GODDAMN U ARE A MOPEY BITCH

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: …

  McNulty, J, Sgt: so whatever u did, say u’re sorry. on your knees.

  McNulty, J, Sgt:

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: …

  McNulty, J, Sgt: and if that works

  McNulty, J, Sgt: u must name ur first kid james in my honor

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: >_>

  McNulty, J, Sgt: if it’s a daughter u name it jamette

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: 0_o

  McNulty, J, Sgt: and then it’s happy ever after for Ezra Mason

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: :D

  McNulty, J, Sgt: shit

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: what

  McNulty, J, Sgt: I was just thinking now it will be a real crusher if they shoot u 2morrow

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: …

  Mason, E, LT 2nd: :(

  Well, this is attempt #18 at writing back, so I guess I’ve got you beat.

  I’m ok. I’ve been on the Alexander since Kerenza fell. The UTA recruited me when I hit eighteen.

  I’m flying cyclones now, if you can believe that. Shows you how short-manned they are if they’ve got me droning a fighter stick. I guess I finally made it off world, huh? Probably not what you had in mind …

  You might wanna be careful with the intel training. If they’ve got you doing any neurogramming, the UTA might conscript you too. They’re way short-handed over here since the hits they took at Kerenza. One of the pulse missile hits X-ed out, like, three quarters of the NG guys. Might be hard to keep avoiding me if we’re living in each other’s pockets. :P

  Anyway, I gotta go. Got this meeting thing coming up. Guy here to talk about it.

  It’s chill to hear from you though. Real chill.

  Ezra

  PS: Um, the drunken keyboard face mail? Totally not me. One of my squaddies got onto my terminal. He thought it’d be funny. Really sorry about that.

  PPS: Seriously. Not me.

  PPPS: SERIOUSLY.

  But thanks for messaging back. Everybody here is talking about the Cyclone pilots. They put out a PIR about how you all rescued the shuttles from the Copernicus. What’s it like to be a hero? I guess your meeting is getting measured for medals, right? Anyway, what was facing down the Lincoln like? And the rescue? It seems kind of weird that the Lincoln could just come out of nowhere like that. How did it all happen? Also, my friend here is wondering about the survivor lists becauseASDLKDGFKNDFGJBE MORE SUBTLE KADY LIKE A BRICK WHY DON’T YOU?

  DISCARD

  SYSTEM FLUSH

  They do have me in the neurogramming program, but I don’t like the sound of those odds. Time for a career change, if only I had a choice.

  I’d be okay, coming over to the Alexander, to be honest. I bet you guys have more information than us. You’re the military, you have a whole intelligence wing, right? Then again, if what they’re saying is true, the Lincoln snuck right up on us. Is that what really happened?

  Anyway, the Alexander would be okay. My quarters here aren’t with anyone I knew back on Kerenza, and even if everybody went through the same thing with the evac, it’s still … I don’t want to say lonely, because that sounds so ungrateful. We’re the ones that got out.

  I know things didn’t end well, but I think if the attack hadn’t come maybe we’d have found some way to at least still be friends. And you know, maybe … A year together can’t mean nothing. I thought

  DISCARD

  SYSTEM FLUSH

  Subject: It’s dark in here

  Date: 07/20/75

  We’re back doing group counseling again. I’m back doing group counseli
ng again. ME. I mean, I don’t even. After all the effort I put into getting out of this the first time.

  But they’ve decided we are all super traumatized by the Copernicus, and reconvened the groups they had running after the rescue. The latest round of talking (or not) about our feelings led our group leader to conclude maybe some of us are more forthcoming than others when it comes to sharing the deepest, darkest parts of ourselves.

  Being the astute creature she is, she spent ten minutes I’m never getting back pointing out that just because we don’t talk about our feelings, doesn’t mean we don’t have them.

  Thank you, Captain Obvious.

  I guess she was looking at me on that one. I haven’t slept properly since it happened, and I keep waking up at night wondering … bad things. I just don’t think talking about it to a group of worried faces is the way to help me.

  I hate the crying the most. It just creeps up on you out of nowhere, and suddenly you’re in the middle of doing something and you realize your goddamn eyes are wet again and you don’t know how it happened. And the last—the LAST—thing you want is for anyone to notice, because next thing they’re cooing and clucking over you, and they want you to talk, and it’s more than I can take.

  I have my mom’s voice ringing in my ears, though, so I am trudging along dutifully to these stupid group discussions, even though it’s pointless.

  I haven’t kept a journal since I was a kid, filling it with all the secrets of the universe, the suckitude of my parents moving me to a hideous hunk of rock like Kerenza, the total angst of it all that I’d give anything to get back. It worked, though. Writing it down stopped me saying it when I shouldn’t, and over time the problems faded away. My present problems aren’t going anywhere, but maybe the Return Of The Journal will stop my head exploding.

  This thing is locked down under the kind of privacy protections even Byron couldn’t crack. And if anyone reads it, I’m going to devote my life to finding a way to program every bathroom door on the Hypatia to refuse to recognize their ID. Actually, I think I could do that. BEWARE, SNOOPER.

  So, a journal. I appreciate that they’re trying to help with the group sessions, but they’re scientists, not therapists. You can’t run people through a quick training session and then have them host a bunch of traumatized survivors sitting in a circle and trying to talk it out.