Let Your Light Shine Read online

  Praise for Let Your Light Shine

  “Honesty, raw and inspiring wisdom, a powerful blend of deep insights into the real world we live in and the practical tools to build individuals and communities—these are brilliantly woven into the narrative tapestry of this book. Let Your Light Shine is a compelling invitation to dig deep and love broadly. Written by three co-authors and illuminated throughout by Uncle Will as mentor and spiritual guide, this book is not organized with the typical topic, discussion, and application structure. Instead, it is, like life itself, an open conversation between these gifted mindfulness teachers, with their long history creating and running the Holistic Life Foundation, and us, the readers who will so powerfully benefit from these visionaries’ courage, tenacity, and wisdom that shines through every one of these real pages of a story that we are so fortunate they took the time to create—in this book and in our world. We will all be better for the brilliance of Ali, Andres, and Atman that shines through in this wonderful contribution to our collective lives.”

  —Daniel J. Siegel, MD, executive director, Mindsight Institute; founding co-director, UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center; and New York Times bestselling author of IntraConnected: MWe (Me + We) as the Integration of Self, Identity, and Belonging

  “When we think about the most oppressed and marginalized group in the world, most of us would never guess that this could be young people 18 and under. Young people struggle with a range of obstacles, from the stress of a fast-moving technology age to the trauma of surviving various forms of violence in schools, in their communities, and at home. It is no easy feat making it out of early adolescence into adulthood. The Holistic Life Foundation, with its founders Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez, have offered young people a path of healing and resilience founded in deep care, love, and a commitment to understanding that young people are not the violence they survive. Let Your Light Shine is an important contribution toward building a society that centers the healing of young people so that they are able to enter into their adulthood offering the same healing back to others around them.”

  —Lama Rod Owens, teacher and author of Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger

  “Let Your Light Shine captures the originality, insight, and, most importantly, the brother-love that make Ali, Andy, and Atman’s work so vital and effective. Blending wisdom from their own Baltimore-based Black community and family with 2,500-year-old teachings originally offered in India, this trauma-sensitive, engaging book is just the contribution to the mindfulness movement that we need right now.”

  —Rhonda V. Magee, MA, JD, author of The Inner Work of Racial Justice

  “Ali, Atman, and Andres, with so much heart and in the true spirit of collective care, have written a book that teaches us the important practice of healing and loving our whole self, and that in doing so, we cannot help but extend that healing and love to ALL. This, they express, is how we mend collectively, and move toward a more connected, self-realized, and compassionate society that benefits and supports everyone equally and with grace. Through personal narratives, social insights, and mindfulness practices, they explore how the deep complexities of trauma—developmental, generational, ancestral, cultural, and systemic—impact our body and consciousness, inform our reality, and perpetuate the belief systems that keep us feeling separate, rather than interdependent. This separation is the fractured foundation that births racism, injustice, and all forms of oppression; the true sickness in our society. Let Your Light Shine is the medicine we can all use right now as it not only shares the essential insights and practices necessary to aid in individual healing but also invites us to pass on all that we learn to others, especially children. As a student and teacher of yoga, I found this book an excellent, informative, and inspirational resource that I know I will turn to again and again.”

  —Seane Corn, author of Revolution of the Soul and co-founder of Off the Mat, Into the World

  “Simply put, this is one of the most important books on yoga that has been written in many years. It captures the absolute, true spirit of yoga, which is the removal of suffering and the experience of knowledge within. There are not too many places in America with greater levels of suffering than the streets of Baltimore, the home of Atman, Ali, and Andres. They have taken their spiritual practices, taken their learnings, and put them to the test on those very streets. To combat intergenerational trauma, systemic racism, and lack of opportunity and resources, they bring a message of hope and practical tools to awaken the sense of sovereignty in the hearts and minds of young people. Yoga in America has all too often been overtaken by consumerism. These brothers, though, without a doubt are restoring the essence of the equitable power of yoga through their brilliant work, and this book will take you on a journey through a side of America that much of the yoga world rarely talks about or experiences. It will inspire you, sadden you, turn your head upside down, encourage and empower you. It puts the spiritual burden of racism front and center and shows how we can use ancient tools to transform and remake ourselves and society. Please read this book. It’s the future of yoga in America.”

  —Eddie Stern, ashtanga yoga teacher and author of One Simple Thing

  an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

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  Copyright © 2022 by Ali Smith, Atman Smith, and Andres Gonzalez

  Penguin Random House supports copyright. Copyright fuels creativity, encourages diverse voices, promotes free speech, and creates a vibrant culture. Thank you for buying an authorized edition of this book and for complying with copyright laws by not reproducing, scanning, or distributing any part of it in any form without permission. You are supporting writers and allowing Penguin Random House to continue to publish books for every reader.

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Smith, Ali (Mindfulness educator), author. | Smith, Atman, author. | Gonzalez, Andres (Mindfulness educator), author.

  Title: Let your light shine: how mindfulness can empower children and rebuild communities / Ali Smith, Atman Smith, Andres Gonzalez.

  Description: [New York]: TarcherPerigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC, [2022] | Includes index.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2022018534 (print) | LCCN 2022018535 (ebook) | ISBN 9780593332283 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780593332290 (epub)

  Subjects: LCSH: Cognitive therapy for children—Popular works. | Mindfulness (Psychology)—Popular works. | Meditation for children—Popular works. | Hatha yoga for children—Popular works. | Minority youth—Mental health services—Maryland—Baltimore.

  Classification: LCC RJ505.C63.S65 2022 (print) | LCC RJ505.C63 (ebook) | DDC 618.92/891425—dc23/eng/20220727

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022018534

  LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022018535

  Cover design: Caroline Johnson

  Cover images: (torn paper) Ilona Nagy / Moment / Getty Images; (sun) Alice Adler / fStop / Getty Images; (buildings) Peeterv / iStock / Getty Images Plus

  Book design by Shannon Nicole Plunkett, adapted for ebook by Estelle Malmed

  pid_prh_6.0_141497756_c0_r0

  We dedicate this book to Uncle Will, Smitty, and Cassie for planting the seeds for this journey and nourishing us with love, light, knowledge, and support along the way.

  Contents

  Foreword by Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD

  INTRODUCTION

  I’m Not a Teacher, I’m a Reminder

  Part One

&
nbsp; Our Path

  CHAPTER ONE

  Wipe the Dust Off and Let Your Inner Light Shine Out

  CHAPTER TWO

  The Tsunami of Love

  CHAPTER THREE

  Friends

  CHAPTER FOUR

  The Path

  CHAPTER FIVE

  A Man’s Man’s World

  CHAPTER SIX

  The Holistic Brain

  Part Two

  This Little Light of Mine

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Bend Yourself into Shape

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Meditation

  CHAPTER NINE

  Mantras and Mudras

  CHAPTER TEN

  The Child’s World

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Shedding Trauma, Finding Self-Love

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Mindful Moment

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Meditative Movement

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Off-the-Mat Practices

  Part Three

  I’m Going to Let It Shine

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  The One-Block Radius

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  Connection to the Natural World

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Love Zombies

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Will’s Last Day

  Acknowledgments

  Notes

  Index

  About the Authors

  Foreword

  Walking the Walk, Talking the Talk, and Learning to Live in Stillness

  Innumerable people in our society live with a legacy of violence within their families, on their streets, in their schools and institutions, and in society at large. Living on streets infested with violence, unresolved grief, anger, and hatred results in a range of trauma-related problems, including PTSD. Our brains and identities are shaped by the realities to which we are exposed early in our lives, and chronic exposure to violence and neglect inevitably results in minds and brains that specialize in the detection of danger—brains that shut down in the face of challenges and misinterpret minor stresses as catastrophes.

  Traumatized children and adolescents have great difficulty feeling safe and often have serious problems with impulse control, attention, concentration, and forming trusting relationships. All too often, educators and psychologists, rather than focusing on how these kids can be helped to feel safe, connected, and worthwhile, label the behavioral effects of trauma in these children as proof that they are “bad” and that they need to be brought in line and punished for their behavior.

  Punitive teachers, a lack of solid mentors and of schools that are safe, clean, and warm all further compound the challenge of growing up as a goal-directed, focused, competent, and compassionate human being. Frightened and angry people cannot learn, and for many of these kids, school systems, rather than serving as safe havens in a violent and unpredictable world, become mere confirmations of how meaningless and terrifying life is, reinforcing how inadequate, bad, and damaged these children are.

  People who are born into a world of deprivation, violence, and unpredictability did not create that world; it’s not their fault that they are immersed in adversities from the very start, or that their view of themselves and the world around them is profoundly shaped by these life experiences. Add to this systemic racism, domestic violence, overcrowding, poverty, and massive levels of incarceration, and we cannot help being stunned by the overwhelming magnitude of the misery. The challenges are pervasive and intergenerational: parents and families often have to work multiple jobs to make ends meet; others may survive by selling drugs or being addicted to them; they may be in jail, or too traumatized to be able to provide consistent care and protection. The resulting chronic terror, deprivation, grief, and humiliation are transformed into anger and hatred. Yet one of the rewards that keeps us going in our efforts to alleviate these problems is getting to know so many extraordinary individuals who can cobble together loving and productive lives despite having grown up with these horrendous obstacles.

  For more than two decades, the brothers Atman and Ali Smith, together with their friend Andy Gonzalez, have created and run an extraordinary program in Baltimore, the Holistic Life Foundation (HLF), that works with kids who live in the kind of circumstances so poignantly portrayed in the HBO series The Wire. They help kids leave the devastated world they grew up in by supplying them with profoundly new experiences. They call this process of helping kids cultivate their relationship with their inner selves “involution.” As a neuroscientist, this resonates with me, since scientific research has shown that the most powerful way of getting control over one’s emotions and sensations is by activating the interoceptive pathways of the brain—i.e., by sensing and cultivating awareness of one’s inner reality and the state of one’s being, and practicing ways to regulate one’s arousal.

  Traumatized people often become rigid and unbending, and they are likely to look up to, and place their hopes in, the toughest, most intimidating people in their world. Ali, Atman, and Andy are none of these things—they are gentle, thoughtful, and passionate embodiments of compassion, stillness, and non-reactivity.

  How do a bunch of guys teaching yoga and meditation in the hood overcome the natural resistance to such weird and alien practices? By modeling involution. By listening, holding space, and reminding kids of their true selves, unburdened by social media stupidity, and by giving them the tools to help keep themselves on their own path. When you get to know these guys, it is immediately obvious that they walk the walk and talk the talk.

  Yes, we can focus on all the injustices and systemic racism that perpetuate the misery, and we should, but even if we manage to fundamentally change the social realities that children today live with and improve their collective opportunities, this can only do so much. It also is necessary to get in touch with the sources of their anger and distrust. Understanding why you are messed up is important, but it rarely solves the problem because the understanding parts of our brains only have a tenuous communication with our emotional reactions.

  The fundamental challenge for traumatized kids and adults is to explore how their rage and humiliation still affect them and the community they live in. What they can do to change their automatic reactions. After all, when you’re living in a traumatized body, you are stuck in a constant state of fight or flight. It’s difficult to focus and sustain your attention, it’s impossible to listen to other points of view, you cannot control your agitation or your inner sense of deadness. And it is almost impossible to learn from experience. When you live in an enraged or terrified body, there’s no time to draw a breath, to relax, and to heal.

  Brains shaped by chronic fear or worry change how you respond to ongoing stresses and challenges. In the long run, this manifests itself in explosive anger, cognitive impairment, and chronic depression. The body keeps the score, and the ongoing secretion of stress hormones may feed a host of physical disabilities, including hypertension, diabetes, and chronic pain. In a study done in Washington, DC, inhabitants of Chevy Chase turned out to enjoy three decades’ longer life expectancy than those who lived in Anacostia.

  The Holistic Life Foundation works with children, adolescents, and adults to help them develop their inner resources in order to transform their agitated inner bodily world into a safe space. They do this by fostering a sense of inner peace, and its leaders aspire to be living examples. I’ve always felt that part of being a good teacher or therapist is to aspire to being a model of what we advocate for others and to open the possibility for our students, clients, and patients to feel “when I grow up, I want to be just like him.” That sure was my reaction when I first met Andy, Ali, and Atman at a yoga conference at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York: “I wish I could be more like them.”

  Mirroring people we admire, and feeling seen by and connected with predictable, safe, and competent p
eople, is central to the process of healing. So the folks at HLF directly confront the internal residues of having witnessed the death and murder of their peers as well as the trauma of not having been heard and believed that they have carried for such a long time. This is a complex and arduous process. After all, trauma keeps on hurting from generation to generation: grandparents who were flogged and beaten pass on that trauma, that lack of love, to their kids and grandkids, compounded by too much alcohol, too many opiates, and too little affection. The premise is that it is almost impossible to shed the legacy of so much trauma unless we can help people to establish an inner sense of tranquility, regardless of the chaos all around them. To be able to turn inward during times of intense stress or trauma.

  The fundamental work of the Holistic Life Foundation is based on the idea of giving traumatized people the room they need simply to breathe—through yoga and meditation. Once kids can share what’s bothering them, they are invited to participate in breathing exercises and to sit quietly together in silent contemplation. A staff member invites them to notice where in their body they register their memories and experiences and guides them through observing their physical signals of stress as indicators to practice their deep breathing, which helps them to feel more calm and focused.

  Helping kids to transform their bodies into safe spaces is an important step to releasing trauma and to envisioning a bigger, more capacious world, one that welcomes and supports them rather than rejecting and hurting them. I had the privilege of conducting the first NIMH-funded studies of yoga for the treatment of PTSD, which had surprisingly positive results. Those studies established yoga as an “evidence based” intervention for PTSD. In fact, yoga appears to be more effective than any of the most commonly prescribed psychiatric medications.