Pihkal Read online

  Table of Contents

  FOREWORD

  NOTE TO THE READER

  SEARCH FOR A TITLE

  THE PROCESS OF DISCOVERY

  BOOK I: THE LOVE STORY

  Part One: Shura's Voice CHAPTER 1. THUMB

  CHAPTER 2. MESCALINE

  CHAPTER 3. BURT

  CHAPTER 4. TMA

  CHAPTER 5. BLACKWOOD ARSENAL

  CHAPTER 6. MMDA

  CHAPTER 7. THE CAPTAIN

  CHAPTER 8. MEM

  CHAPTER 9. DOM

  CHAPTER 10. PETER MILLE

  CHAPTER 11. ANDREW

  CHAPTER 12. MDMA

  CHAPTER 15. TENNESSEE

  PART TWO

  Part Two: Alice's Voice CHAPTER 20. DOOR CLOSING

  CHAPTER 21. DOOR OPENING

  CHAPTER 22. WINDOW

  CHAPTER 23. THE GROUP

  CHAPTER 29. THE LETTER

  CHAPTER 30. ENDING

  CHAPTER 31. VOLCANO

  CHAPTER 32. TRANSITION

  CHAPTER 33. RESOLUTION

  CHAPTER 34. THE FOURTH

  Part Three CHAPTER 36. 5-TOM

  CHAPTER 37. FUGUE

  CHAPTER 38. CRISIS SUNDAY

  MONDAY

  TUESDAY

  WEDNESDAY

  THURSDAY

  FRIDAY

  SATURDAY

  SUNDAY

  CHAPTER 39. DANTE AND GINGER AND GOD

  Document Outline

  FOREWORD

  This book will be different things to different people. There has never been a work like it, and since recent legislative acts in this country have closed off the avenues of inquiry that made this one possible we may not soon, if ever, see another of its kind. Although it is doubtful that it will ever make the best seller list, no library of psychedelic literature will henceforth be complete without a copy of PIHKAL.

  For nearly thirty years one of the authors. Dr. Alexander Shulgin, affectionately known to his friends as Sasha, has been the only person in the world to synthesize, then evaluate in himself, his wife Ann, and in a dedicated group of close friends, nearly 200 never-before-known chemical structures, materials expected to have effects in man similar to those of the mind-altering psychedelic drugs, mescaline, psilocybin and LSD. On the west coast, Sasha has assumed almost folk-hero status. Others regard him variously as courageous, foolhardy, or downright dangerous, depending mostly on the political persuasion of the critic. However, all would have to agree that Sasha Shulgin is a most remarkable individual. This writing collaboration with his wife Ann will be enjoyed, not only by their friends, but also by those who have heard about "Sasha" but don't have a clue as to who he really is. More importantly, this is a tale of self-discovery, accompanied by the faint stirrings of a technology that is yet to be fully born, much less developed.

  The beginning of PIHKAL is autobiographical, detailing the lives of two fictional characters. Dr.

  Alexander Borodin, known to his friends by the Russian diminutive "Shura," and Alice, later his wife. In the first two parts, Shura and Alice describe the individual life paths which led each of them to a fascination with psychedelics and, ultimately, to their fascination with each other. In Part III, they chronicle more than a decade of their adventures together, journeys often catalyzed by the ingestion of one of Shura's new chemical compounds.

  One cannot be certain of the exact extent to which Shura and Alice mirror Sasha and Ann, but the richness of imagery, detail of thought, openly expressed emotions, and moments of intimacy clearly give insight into the personalities of the two people I know. These details serve to show that Shura and Alice's research has been an honest search for meaning in life.

  Their pain in lost relationships, in failed marriages, and their love and caring for each other paint a picture of two extraordinary and very feeling human beings.

  The second half of the book is an almost encyclopedic compendium of synthetic methods, dosages, durations of action, and commentaries for 179 different chemical materials. These essentially represent transcriptions of Sasha's laboratory notebooks, with some additional material culled from the scientific literature. Some day in the future, when it may again be acceptable to use chemical tools to study the mind, this book will be a treasure-house, a sort of sorcerer's book of spells, to delight and enchant the psychiatrist/shaman of tomorrow.

  David E. Nichols, Ph. D. Professor of Medicinal Chemistry West Lafayette, Indiana

  NOTE TO THE READER

  With this book, PIHKAL, we are making available a body of information concerning the conception, synthesis, definition, and appropriate use of certain consciousness-changing chemical compounds which we are convinced are valuable tools for the study of the human mind and psyche.

  At the present time, restrictive laws are in force in the United States and it is very difficult for researchers to abide by the regulations which govern efforts to obtain legal approval to do work with these compounds in human beings. Consequently there has been almost no clinical research conducted in this area for almost thirty years. However, animal studies can be done by the approved and qualified scientist who finds sources of research funding and who appeals to and obtains his supplies of drugs from an appropriate government agency such as the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

  Approximately half of the recipes in Book II of PIHKAL have already been published in a number of respected scientific journals. The rest will be submitted for publication in the near future.

  No one who is lacking legal authorization should attempt the synthesis of any of the compounds described in the second half of this book, with intent to give them to man. To do so is to risk legal action which might lead to the tragic ruination of a life. It should also be noted that any person anywhere who experiments on himself, or on another human being, with any one of the drugs described herein, without being familiar with that drug's action and aware of the physical and/or mental disturbance or harm it might cause, is acting irresponsibly and immorally, whether or not he is doing so within the bounds of the law.

  We strongly urge that a continuing effort be made by those who care about freedom of inquiry and the search for knowledge, to work toward changes in the present drug laws, particularly in the United States. Open inquiry, and creative exploration of this important area of research, must be not only allowed but encouraged. It is essential that our present negative propaganda regarding psychedelic drugs be replaced with honesty and truthfulness about their effects, both good and bad.

  There is much that we need to understand about the human psyche, and this book is dedicated to the pursuit of that understanding.

  SEARCH FOR A TITLE

  In trying to settle on a title for his book, a writer aims for something which both author and reader will find appropriate and easy to remember. For this book, I had originally considered something more academic than autobiographical, like "Hallucinogenic Phenethylamines," (hard to pronounce or remember, unless you're a chemist), but not only does that bear a close resemblance to "The Hallucinogens," by Hoffer and Osmond, it makes use of a word neither Ann nor I feel is appropriate in describing the effects of these materials. "Hallucinogenic," is probably the most commonly misused word in this field, so why reinforce what we regard as an inaccuracy and a misconception?

  A title such as "The Psychedelic Phenethylamines," also very academic-sounding, was too close to books like "The Psychedelics," by Osmond, or "Psychedelics Encyclopedia," by Stafford; besides, with the loaded word, "psychedelics," in its title, such a book might prove difficult to stock in the bookstores of the Mid-West, even less likely in those of Russia; in Canada, quite impossible.

  So when the words, "Phenethylamines I Have Known and Loved," popped into my mind, and I realized that the acronym was PIHKAL - wh
ich looks and sounds manageable -1 got up from my desk and went to find Ann. I asked her, "What comes to mind when you hear the word, Pihkal?" She repeated, "Pea-KAHL? An ancient Mayan city in Guatemala, of course. Why?"

  "No," I replied, "That's Tikal. Pihkal was the mling lord of Palenque. He was entombed with six human sacrifices and a pile of jade, as I'm sure you now recall."

  "Why do I have this funny feeling that you're not telling the absolutely precise truth?" asked Ann, who used to believe implicitly every word I uttered.

  "You're right," I said, "I got carried away there, for a moment."

  When I told her what P-I-H-K-A-L really did stand for, it took a while for her to stop laughing, leading me to the inevitable conclusion that my quest for a title was finally at an end. PREFACE

  The book should actually be titled "Phenethylamines And Other Things I Have Known and Loved," because, although Book II contains only information on phenethylamines, the story includes some descriptions of the effects of other classes of psychedelic drugs, as well.

  Part I is told in the voice of Shura Borodin, a character based on myself, and traces the story of my life from childhood through the death of my first wife.

  Part II is told in the voice of Alice Parr, later Borodin/ a character based on my wife, Ann, and tells the story of our relationship, and the development of our love for each other.

  Part III takes both of us, our voices alternating, through the later years and certain experiences from which we, and members of our research group, continued to learn about ourselves, gaining insight and knowledge through changes of consciousness which were sometimes aided by the psychedelics and at other times catalyzed by no drug at all.

  Book II should be of interest to chemists and all who love chemistry, but the comments at the end of each recipe might also prove interesting to the reader who understands no chemistry whatsoever.

  Most of the names in this story have been changed to protect personal privacy and to allow us freedom in the telling of our tale. Certain characters are composites.

  INTRODUCTION: THE PHILOSOPHY BEHIND THE WRITING OF PIHKAL

  I am a pharmacologist and a chemist. I have spent most of my adult life investigating the action of drugs; how they are discovered, what they are, what they do, how they can be helpful - or harmful. But my interests lie somewhat outside the mainstream of pharmacology, in the area I have found most fascinating and rewarding, that of the psychedelic drugs.

  Psychedelics might best be defined as physically non-addictive compounds which temporarily alter the state of one's consciousness.

  The prevailing opinion in this country is that there are drugs that have legal status and are either relatively safe or at least have acceptable risks, and there are other drugs that are illegal and have no legitimate place at all in our society. Although this opinion is widely held and vigorously promoted, I sincerely believe that it is wrong. It is an effort to paint things either black or white, when, in this area, as in most of real life, truth is colored grey.

  Let me give the reasons for my belief.

  Every drug, legal or illegal, provides some reward. Every drug presents some risk. And every drug can be abused. Ultimately, in my opinion, it is up to each of us to measure the reward against the risk and decide which outweighs the other. The rewards cover a wide spectrum.

  They include such things as the curing of disease, the softening of physical and emotional pain, intoxication, and relaxation. Certain drugs - those known as the psychedelics - allow for increased personal insight and expansion of one's mental and emotional horizons.

  The risks are equally varied, ranging from physical damage to psychological disruption, dependency, and violation of the law. Just as there are different rewards with different people, there are also different risks. An adult must make his own decision as to whether or not he should expose himself to a specific drug, be it available by prescription or proscribed by law, by measuring the potential good and bad with his own personal yardstick. And it is here that being well informed plays an indispensable role. My philosophy can be distilled into four words: be informed, then choose.

  I personally have chosen some drugs to be of sufficient value to be worth the risks; others, I deem not to be of sufficient value. For instance, I use a moderate amount of alcohol, generally in the form of wine, and - at the present time - my liver function tests are completely normal. I do not smoke tobacco. I used to, quite heavily, then gave it up. It was not the health risk that swayed me, but rather the fact that I had become completely dependent upon it. That was, in my view, a case of the price being unacceptably high.

  Each such decision is my own, based on what I know of the drug and what I know about myself.

  Among the drugs that are currently illegal, I have chosen not to use marijuana, as I feel the lightheaded intoxication and benign alteration of consciousness does not adequately compensate for an uncomfortable feeling that I am wasting time.

  I have tried heroin. This drug, of course, is one of the major concerns in our society, at the present time. In me, it produces a dreamy peaceful-ness, with no rough edges of worry, stress or concern. But there is also a loss of motivation, of alertness, and of the urge to get things done. It is not any fear of addiction that causes me to decide against heroin; it is the fact that, under its influence, nothing seems to be particularly important to me.

  I have also tried cocaine. This drug, particularly in its notorious "crack" form, is the cause celebre of today. To me, cocaine is an aggressive pusher, a stimulant which gives me a sense of power and of being completely with it, on top of the world. But there is also the inescapable knowledge, underneath, that it is not true power, that I am not really on top of the world, and that, when the drug's effects have disappeared, I will have gained nothing. There is a strange sense of falseness about the state. There is no insight. There is no learning. In its own distinctive way, I find cocaine to be as much an escape drug as heroin. With either one, you escape from who you are, or - even more to the point - from who you are not. In either case, you are relieved for a short time from awareness of your inadequacies. I frankly would rather address mine than escape them;

  there is, ultimately, far greater satisfaction that way.

  With the psychedelic drugs, I believe that, for me, the modest risks (an occasional difficult experience or perhaps some body malaise) are more than balanced by the potential for learning. And that is why I have chosen to explore this particular area of pharmacology.

  What do I mean when I say there is a potential for learning? It is a potential, not a certainty. I can learn, but I'm not forced to do so; I can gain insight into possible ways of improving the quality of my life, but only my own efforts will bring about the desired changes.

  Let me try to make clear some of the reasons that I find the psychedelic experience a personal treasure.

  I am completely convinced that there is a wealth of information built into us, with miles of intuitive knowledge tucked away in the genetic material of every one of our cells. Something akin to a library containing uncountable reference volumes, but without any obvious route of entry. And, without some means of access, there is no way to even begin to guess at the extent and quality of what is there. The psychedelic drugs allow exploration of this interior world, and insights into its nature.

  Our generation is the first, ever, to have made the search for self-awareness a crime, if it is done with the use of plants or chemical compounds as the means of opening the psychic doors. But the urge to become aware is always present, and it increases in intensity as one grows older.

  One day, looking into the face of a newborn grandchild, you find yourself thinking that her birth has made a seamless tapestry of time as it flows from yesterday to tomorrow. You realize that life continuously appears in different forms and in different identities, but that whatever it is that gives shape to each new expression does not change at all.

  "From where did her unique soul come?" you wonder, "And, to where will
my own unique soul go? Is there really something else out there, after death? Is there a purpose to it all? Is there an overriding order and structure that makes sense of everything, or would, if only I could see it?" You feel the urge to ask, to probe, to use what little time might be left to you, to search for ways to tie together all the loose ends, to understand what demands to be understood.

  This is the search that has been part of human life from the very first moments of consciousness. The knowledge of his own mortality - knowledge which places him apart from his fellow animals - is what gives Man the right, the license, to explore the nature of his own soul and spirit, to discover what he can about the components of the human psyche.

  Each of us, at some time in his life, will feel himself a stranger in the strange land of his own existence, needing answers to questions which have risen from deep within his soul and will not go away.

  Both the questions and their answers have the same source: oneself.

  This source, this part of ourselves, has been called by many names throughout human history, the most recent being "the unconscious." Freudians distrust it and Jungians are enraptured by it. It is the part inside you that keeps watch when your conscious mind has drifted, that gives you the sense of what to do in a crisis, when there is no time available for logical reasoning and decision-making. It is the place wherein are to be found demons and angels and everything in between.

  This is one of the reasons I hold the psychedelic drugs to be treasures. They can provide access to the parts of us which have answers. They can, but again, they need not and probably will not, unless that is the purpose for which they are being used.

  It is up to you to use these tools well, and in the right way. A psychedelic drug might be compared to television. It can be very revealing, very instructive, and - with thoughtful care in the selection of channels - the means by which extraordinary insights can be achieved. But to many people, psychedelic drugs are simply another form of entertainment; nothing profound is looked for, thus - usually - nothing profound is experienced.