Dirty Uncle Read online

  Another section of my heart loosens and drops. “But it’s a lie.”

  “No, it ain’t, Clara.” He bashes his fist on the dashboard. “You and me are wrong. That shit back there? It was your proof. First damn time we go out in public and we might as well be wearing a sign. I’m putting my cock somewhere it don’t belong and they could smell it on us.”

  “Wrong?” I whisper, dazed. “But holding hands was one of my favorite parts.”

  He slides me a troubled look. “That’s…too bad.” His Adam’s apple bobs. “Can’t do it no more.”

  We’re silent for the rest of the ride back to the rental cabin. Every half mile, I sense Rex watching me and can tell he wants to say more. There’s nothing left to say, though. I don’t feel safe with him now. Oh, I know he would never let anyone hurt me. But my mental safety…the safety of my heart…I put those things in his keeping and he let me down. It’s as if I parachuted out of a plane this morning and soared, soared so high, only to have my harness cut. The parachute is floating above me out of reach now while I plummet to earth.

  Finally, we reach the cabin and he parks alongside the trucks belonging to Rudy and Hank. We sit in silence for a moment after he puts the vehicle in park. “Clara…”

  Hope wells in my chest. “Yes?”

  Seconds tick by. “Nothing.” He takes a cigar from the sun visor, shoving open the driver’s side and getting out. “See you inside,” he mutters, walking away in a cloud of smoke.

  I wait until he’s been inside a full minute before grabbing my backpack, throwing it over my shoulder and climbing out. But I don’t follow Rex into the cabin. I take the broken pieces of my heart and jog toward my rental bike.

  Chapter Twelve

  Rex

  I can’t believe I hurt her. Who could hurt such a sweet girl?

  Holding hands was one of my favorite parts.

  A roar leaves my throat and I stub out the cigar, resuming my pacing on the back porch of the cabin. Holding her hand and leading her into that stupid eye doctor was one of my favorite parts, too. Standing guard while she was examined, handing over my credit card afterward. All of it. Every second. I’m her Daddy and I make everything better for her. It’s a privilege.

  You blacken everything.

  Maybe it’s true. Even though she makes me feel the opposite. No matter how I dice it, though, the way those motherfuckers were looking at my girl sideways was all because she was with me.

  I rear back and throw a punch at the rail, disconnecting it from the deck floor, leaving it teetering on the edge. Growing up, when my parents took me out in public, everyone looked at me the same way they were looking at Clara today. Like a single decision made before I was born was somehow my fault. Men and women alike in that eye doctor gave Clara the same treatment. I didn’t bother to notice how they regarded me. Only her. She’s all I care about. And I can’t be responsible for people treating her bad. She deserves the fucking best of everything.

  So I asked her to pretend. To keep our real relationship a secret in public. At the time, it seemed as though the only possibility, if we’re going to stay together. And we are staying together, because I can’t breathe without her. Even now, she’s on the other side of the cabin and I’m not happy. I want her looking up at me with trust in her eyes, every minute of the day. Need Clara. Need.

  My boots scuff to a stop on the wooden, leaf-covered planks. There was no trust in how she looked at me when I left the truck, was there? No. No, because she handed me these desires and I embraced them with her. Then I made her feel…wrong. Jesus, did I actually use that word?

  This relationship we started in the living room last night, then made solid on the lake’s shore this morning, is something Clara needs twenty-four seven. Knew it when she was practically skipping alongside me in the parking lot, looking up at me with hearts in her eyes. I’ve already limited her, though. Us. I’m not giving her what she needs. What we both need.

  I hurt her, instead. I hurt her real bad.

  “Clara!” I bellow, walking into the cabin. “Where you at, girl?”

  Silence.

  Wait. Not total silence. I hear some shuffling near the front entrance and I head in that direction. But when I open the door and expect to find Clara pouting, Hank and Rudy are there, returned from a trek in the woods.

  “You seen Clara?”

  “No, sir.”

  Rudy shakes his head. “She’s not with you?”

  She’s supposed to be. Hoping to find Clara in our room, I turn—but something is off about the front yard. Takes me a minute to realize what it is. The bike Clara has been using was leaned up against the tree when we left this morning, but it’s gone now. And there’s a skinny track in the dirt. Fresh. Heading toward the main road.

  “She wouldn’t.”

  Hank sniffs. “Wouldn’t what?”

  Panic cuts into my chest like a buzz saw and I run for the passenger side, finding her bag of contact lenses still sitting on the seat. Bells peal in my head. “She…” I stagger away from the truck, hearing the optometrist’s words in my head. But you’ll need to wear glasses or lenses at all times. Surgery is the only way to repair your eyes for good. Without them, you’re still at risk for falls. “She’s on her bike and she can’t see right. Christ, she’s going to…”

  Don’t think it. Don’t say it. Just move.

  But as I run for the driver’s side, every worst-case scenario under the sun flashes in front of my eyes. And I never told her I love her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Clara

  In the blink of an eye.

  It was always just a phrase to me before now.

  I’m going faster than I should down the mountain. Only another few minutes and I’ll be at the rental hut. I think. Everything is blurrier than usual, thanks to the tears. This is how I’ve been living my life—a little blurry—only I didn’t realize it until the optometrist clicked those slides into place so I could see the letters on the wall.

  There’s a minor scrape on my leg where I grazed a tree about a quarter mile back. But I’m not stopping to bandage it now. I just want to get away. Away from the possibilities that aren’t possibilities anymore. It hurts too much.

  Everything hurts too much. My head aches, my chest burns.

  The farther I get from Rex, the more I start to wonder if I’m doing the right thing, though. Rex is probably flipping tables, Real Housewives style. And while I enjoy him punishing me after a tantrum, this is nothing like those times. For one, I’m leaving him, not trying to get sex. Two, I’ve been built for our unique kind of relationship, but maybe Rex needs more time before he’s comfortable being unapologetically…us.

  I…did blacken everything in their world.

  Rex’s words drift back to me from this morning at the lake and my feet slow their peddling. It couldn’t have been easy for Rex to bring me into a room full of people and have them stare so rudely at me. Treat me like some kind of freak. No, he would have felt terrible. He would have taken all the blame, too, even though I’ve been pursuing him. Even though I came here with the intention of seducing him. Lied to him since the very beginning about who I am, just so he’d touch me.

  He tried to stay away because he’s my step-uncle. He didn’t want to blacken me and my reputation. But we went there. Went there and took it a step further, becoming something even more controversial. Something we’ve barely begun to explore. And it all happened before Rex even got over my status as his step-niece. At the first sign of people disapproving, he saw me being ostracized right in front of his eyes. I shouldn’t have left. I should have assured him of one true fact—a fact that will always hold true. Being an outsider doesn’t bother me. It’s who I am.

  All I’ve ever wanted was to feel safe. He gives me that in spades. He’s also helped me see the clear picture of where my fantasies have always been guiding me. But I expected too much too soon. I owe him time to get used to being on the fringe with me. It’s where I live. It’s where I’m comfortable.

  All I need with me is Rex. I love Rex.

  My lips spread into a smile and I hit the brakes…but I’m on too steep of a decline now and it doesn’t stop. The skidding sound screams in my ears. A sixteen-wheeler comes flying around the bend.

  It all happens in the blink of an eye.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Rex

  There’s a god-awful sickness in my gut as I slow the truck to take another turn, just in case Clara is on the other side. To get this far so fast, she would have to be flying down the goddamn mountain at breakneck pace. I’m sweating through my shirt, praying under my breath for a miracle. She wouldn’t even be on this damn mountain if it wasn’t for me. If she’s hurt, if I’m going to go stark raving mad. At her. At life. At anyone in the vicinity.

  I can’t even consider something worse happening. Please. Please, dammit. Don’t take her away from me when I just found her. Yes, what we have might be forbidden to some. I’m her step-uncle and a good damn deal older. But there’s never been a bond more undeniable. It’s one that people won’t understand, but it’s ours. She’s wiggled her way into my soul and she’s not budging until my maker takes me.

  How could I have said those shitty things to her? She looked ready to burst into tears and I just walked away, hoping she would understand. I should have held her in my arms and talked to her until we found a solution to our problem. What I wouldn’t give to go back in time and wipe her tears away and say sorry. Tell her I love her and I’m never letting go, no matter the kind of judgment we receive.

  She’s worth every damn second of it and more.

  If she believes I’m worth it, too, then I’ll spend my life grateful. Spend it making her happy and being her provider in all things. If holding my hand in stores and calling me Daddy around strangers makes her happy, everyone can kiss my ass. She’s the one I’m living for. Not them.

  When I turn the corner and see her bicycle bent in half, beneath the wheel of a semi-truck, I don’t believe it. No. No. No. It can’t be real. God wouldn’t be this cruel. Ice forms a layer on top of my heart, freezing it into a black ball in my chest. Acid spears up from the pit of my stomach and I slam on the brakes, roaring inside the cabin of my truck.

  “Clara!” I stumble out of the truck, the ground blurring around me. “No. No!”

  I’ve been holding the plastic bag of contact lenses in my fist since leaving the cabin and it’s still there, useless at my side. She never got to wear them…she never got to walk around without fear of tripping or running into things. I failed. I lost her. I failed. She’s gone. Jesus, she must have been so scared in those final seconds. And I wasn’t here to save her. It was my job.

  I double over and bellow at the asphalt road, my voice choking off when I see her black rubber skid marks. I might as well have died with her. Can’t breathe…need to rage. Need to kill.

  I’m going to murder whoever took my Clara.

  Deadly purpose cuts through the misery and I stand, lunging for the truck driver who appears to be speaking—to me—but I can’t hear anything over the cymbals crashing in my head. “Where is she? Where is she?” I grab him by the collar and I’m in the process of jerking his face down to connect with my knee…when I feel a familiar light touch on my arm. Clara’s spirit come to say goodbye?

  I let go of the truck driver and turn. There she is. Beautiful as I left her in the passenger side of my truck. “Ah, girl.” I swallow hard. “Always knew you’d make a perfect angel,” I manage, reaching out to touch her…and I find her solid. Solid? “Clara?”

  “Uncle Rex, I’m fine. I’ve been telling you…” She swipes at her wet eyes and I see scratches and blood all down her arms. “You wouldn’t listen. I’m okay.”

  “You’re here,” I breathe, not ready to believe what my mind is telling me. If she’s gone, I would go crazy, after all. It could be a trick. “Your bike…”

  “I jumped off at the last second. It bit the dust. I didn’t.” She glances down at her arms. “Well I wiped out, but that’s nothing new—”

  She doesn’t get the rest out because I’m pulling her into my arms, trying to absorb her goodness into my body. I’m still so fucking cold, but as my sanity slowly returns, so does the heat. I’m holding Clara. She’s okay. She’s alive. I didn’t lose her. My life is still flashing in front of my eyes, though. Christ. I lived without her on this earth for a full minute and it was the longest sixty seconds of my life. Never again. “I love you,” I growl into her hair. “I love you and that means you have to stop getting hurt. Can’t take it, girl. You’re my fucking world now.”

  My chest catches her sob. “I love you, too. I was turning around to come home. I’m sorry. I’m sorry—”

  Moved by the revelation that this incredible girl loves me, too, I catch her chin and lift it. “You’re sorry, who?”

  Awe transforms her expression, a new sparkle shining in her eye. “I’m sorry, Daddy,” she murmurs. “I won’t scare you again.”

  Something clicks in place inside me. Something so unshakable, I have no problem meeting the truck driver’s eyes and daring him to comment. “Come on, girl.” I lay a possessive kiss on her mouth, letting my tongue taste her nice and deep. “Let’s get you home. We’ve got plans to make.”

  Her hand slides into mine. “What plans are we making?”

  “The kind that gets a ring on your finger.” I lift her knuckles to my mouth and kiss them, leading her to my truck. “And you in my life forever.”

  Epilogue

  Clara

  A couple of weeks later…

  I stare up at the house that I used to call home knowing my mother and stepfather are inside. I glance over at Rex. He gives my hand a little squeeze, reminding me he’s here with me.

  “You don’t have to go in, Clara. I can get whatever you need.”

  I bite my lip, debating it. The last few weeks have been wonderful, but I know I need to face them. They got home today from vacation and are already blowing up my phone wondering where I am. I have to tell them I’m moving out and that I’m going to be with Rex.

  I know things are going to be bad and I don’t want my stepfather to be mean to Rex. I think I’m more worried about that than what he might say to me.

  I push the new pink glasses Rex got me back up the bridge of my nose. He smiles then leans over and kisses me. I’ve been doing so much better now that I have them.

  “You go in and get what you need. I’ll talk to them.” His words leave no room for argument, so I simply nod.

  He hops out of the truck and makes his away over to my side. He unbuckles me then lifts me by my hips and places me on the ground.

  He leans down and gives me another kiss. “Say it.”

  “I love you, Daddy,” I answer, giggling. It’s my favorite thing to say and every time it makes him smile.

  He leans against his truck as I go in the front door and shout a hello into the living room. No one is in there, and the place is quiet so I go straight up to my room. When I get there, I grab my bag out of the closet and go over to my dresser. I open the drawers and begin filling my bag with the things I know I don’t want to leave behind.

  Looking around the room, I see the bed covered in stuffed animals and I’m going to have to decide which ones to take with me. Just as I’m walking over to pick a few out, my door creaks.

  “Where have you been?” my stepfather asks as he walks into my room. His face is red and little sweaty. “Your mother has been worried sick.”

  “Where is she? I need to talk to the two of you,” I say, trying to remember that I’m here to make peace. I want this to go well so that I can still have a relationship with them when it’s over.

  “She went to the store. She’ll be back later.” He looks me up and down as he takes a step closer. “What are you wearing, Clara? You can’t really be walking around in public like that.”

  His words hurt. I’m wearing a tank top and a skirt. I don’t have on a bra or panties, but everything is covered. Rex said I looked nice.

  “You really are just a little girl with daddy issues. Desperate for attention. I should have snuck in here at night like I wanted to. I should have given you what you’ve been begging for. You waved that little pussy around all over the place. Hell, every man I brought over here asked for a turn.”

  My eyes are wide with shock at his admission.

  “Yeah, they offered me good money, too. I knew that sweet cherry of yours was tight and wet, but I turned them down. I did it to protect you.”

  I look down at his pants and see his belt buckle is undone. Was he jerking off when I got home? His erection is tenting the front of his pants, and as he gets closer I trip over my feet and fall back on the bed trying to get away from it.

  My legs fall open as my skirt flies up and his eyes dart to my bare pussy. I try to close my legs, but he grabs both my ankles so hard that I cry out.

  “Fuck, look at that thing. It’s almost as pink as these goddamn stuffed animals you’ve got all over this bed.” He licks his lips as he wrestles with my legs and gets on the bed. “It’s okay, Clara. If you want a daddy so bad, I’ll give you one. Fuck, I might even make myself one, too.” He laughs. “There’s no way I’m pulling out of that sweet little cunt. It’s just begging to get bred.”

  I cry out again, and this time when I do, my stepfather is gone. I blink and then watch Rex pull him up by his neck and shake him. Rex squeezes and my stepfather turns purple.

  “Don’t kill him!” I shout, and Rex looks down at me.

  “You okay, baby?”

  “Yeah, Daddy, I’m okay.”

  My stepfather looks between the two of us, and Rex tosses him to the ground. He coughs and spits as he tries to catch his breath. Rex stands over him menacingly.

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