Love Lessons (Brotherly Love Book 3) Read online

  One, I wanted to pound that mouth until it was missing a few teeth, and two, who the hell over the age of three called themselves Benji?

  But Grady’s face collapsed in on itself, and it seemed to happen in slow motion. First, the light faded from his eyes, and they glistened suspiciously. I willed him not to cry. Don’t show Eli. Don’t let him know. Then his mouth kind of flattened into a line and folded at the corners, turning down slightly. He scrunched up his nose and sniffed.

  So… that right there was my cue, and it was a pretty fucking big one.

  “Gray!”

  He jumped as I swooped in, throwing my arm over his shoulder and just about bellowing his name. Then he looked at me as if I was on crack, and I got it. I mean, when I saw him earlier, I just patted. his. fucking. shoulder. I didn’t do hugs, I didn’t do touching. But I did friends, and right now Grady needed me. So, my arm was wrapped around him as I pulled him to me.

  “Tell me you’re having the best night? Oh, hey, Eli… and new guy.” I spoke as if I’d just noticed them. No. I spoke as if they deserved the same kind of attention as shit on my shoe, because that was all I thought of every time I looked at Eli, and tonight he was a particularly shit excuse for a human.

  Eli watched me, his eyes narrow. Then they widened and his face paled. Oh, yeah. I liked that. Ashen looked pretty good on him. Way better than smug, anyway.

  Grady tensed at first, then relaxed against me, and I let him. He needed the emotional support, and it felt incredible to be able to provide it.

  I looked Eli hard in the eye, letting him know Grady was moving past him, and that he was trading up. Hell, trading up from Eli wouldn’t even have been hard. I was way up. Like use a rocket to reach me, lightyears up from Eli, and I took pride in knowing it. Probably more so because Eli seemed to be taking such pride in grinding Grady down.

  And Eli had always used Grady. Gray was the safe bet, the one Eli could rely on to always be there if no one else wanted him. And Gray was blind to his position in Eli’s life, but I never was.

  “Wh…What’s…” Eli didn’t finish his thought. He looked between us, then between us again.

  That part was pretty cool. I’d never seen an actual double take in action, and I grinned.

  He shook his head and straightened his spine. Eli’s guy winced as his hand was gripped even harder.

  “What’s going on, guys?” Eli finally spat his words out.

  Grady looked at me, his eyes wide. I didn’t blame him. Of course he didn’t understand. I just needed him to play along. Or at least, not blow this out of the water.

  I looked at him, praying that he wouldn’t flinch when I did the next bit. Taking a slow, deep breath, I cupped his face. Then I looked deep into his eyes, which was kind of a mistake because they were like two blue pools to drown in. Only right now they were troubled, with little creases forming at the corners.

  I smiled. “Don’t you think we should go ahead and tell him, Gray?”

  Gray shifted, darting his eyes toward Eli, but I spoke again, redirecting his attention back to me.

  “I mean, we can only keep us a secret for so long, right? And it’s been a few months now.” I nodded like I was trying to convince him, but really, I was just trying to get him to agree with me rather than call me on my bullshit.

  I wanted to protect him, and this was the best way I could think of doing that. I’d offer myself to him to keep him safe from Eli’s games.

  Grady nodded, his eyes taking on some of their usual spark, and relief burst through me as he began to speak. “Yes, Rome, today is a great day to tell Eli.”

  “A birthday surprise,” I agreed softly and ran my thumb over his lips.

  “What?” Eli’s face flushed red, and his eyes bulged. He looked like a man only just holding onto his temper. It looked good on him. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me, Gray?”

  I drew Grady even closer at Eli’s angry tone, pulling his body flush against mine.

  Eli tracked us with his eyes, watching the movement, and when he spoke again, he’d softened his tone. “I mean, we’re friends, right? And friends, they… they tell each other stuff.”

  Oh, no. No. Not on my watch. Eli didn’t get to turn this whole situation around on Grady.

  “Don’t you think, Eli—” I paused and rubbed my thumb over my chin. “Don’t you think what you’re saying is just a tiny bit hypocritical?”

  He opened his mouth, but I was done listening to him whine.

  “I mean, you came in here today, and you brought Benji with you.” I shook my head. Fucking Benji. “And I’m not sure you’ve actually mentioned him to anyone before, right? Least of all your good friend, Grady.”

  I glanced at Grady. He’d paled again.

  “No. I… You’re wrong. It’s not like…” Eli stammered and stuttered his words as he searched for the best way to present his case, but I shook my head.

  I stepped forward, ready to own him, but Grady’s hand on my arm stopped me.

  “Okay, guys. Good talk, right?” he said. “Eli and Benji, congratulations.” He reached for his glass and lifted it briefly, toasting the happy couple.

  I pressed my lips flat and tight. Yeah, congratulations to both of them. They probably deserved each other.

  Eli just nodded, but he looked a lot less self-important now.

  “But enjoy yourselves, and because I’m so happy for you, let me get your first drink?” His smile looked… shit, it looked brave more than genuine.

  I reached into my pocket. “No, baby. Let me.”

  “I’ve got it.” Eli’s face reddened as he tugged Benji past us, shoulder checking me on the way. “Happy birthday, Gray.”

  As soon as they’d moved to the bar, Grady grabbed my hand and tugged me to a darker corner. His warm palm tingled against mine.

  “What in the holy hell was that?” he hissed.

  “What?” I shrugged and tried to feign nonchalance and avoid patting myself on the back. Even I had almost been taken in by my performance. “Do you think they bought it?”

  Gray raised an eyebrow. Just a tiny lift that saw me looking right into his teacher face.

  “Shit. Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what?” He crossed his arms, and I groaned.

  “Like I’m two seconds away from detention.”

  He grinned. “But seriously, Rome. What were you thinking?”

  I paused. What had I been thinking? “I just… I wanted to shock you out of that moment where I thought you might cry.” I couldn’t stand that Eli might make him cry, so I’d leapt on my white charger and ridden to the rescue, basically.

  “Oh my God!” Gray scrubbed at his face before he looked at me again, a lopsided smile on his face. “You certainly succeeded in shocking me, so mission accomplished.”

  “And I figured you could do worse, right?” I gestured at myself, inviting him to appreciate everything I brought to a party, and he smiled wider.

  Then he shook his head like he couldn’t believe the situation at all. “You’re a cocky bastard, Rome.”

  There was no answer for that. I didn’t feel like admitting it, but a denial would probably be a lie. And I felt about hundred feet tall, anyway, because I’d made Grady smile, and that was all I really wanted.

  Then I hesitated. Gray often smiled. It was the equivalent of his neutral expression. “How are you really doing?” I asked.

  He sighed and bit his lip. Indecision flickered across his face before he met my gaze. “It hurts.” Then he shrugged, and the simplicity of it ached in my chest.

  I glanced at Eli, laughing it up at the bar and Benji hanging off him like he might float away if Benji didn’t keep him fixed to the ground. You just keep holding on to that man, Benji-boy.

  “He was a real dick for doing that to you,” I growled my words low.

  “Oh, it’s okay—” Gray started, but I placed my finger over his lips, and he stopped talking, his eyes widening as he looked at me.

  “Don’
t defend him,” I whispered. “He doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve you.” I wanted to run through Eli’s transgressions and create a list Gray could refer to—he’d made the announcement in public, he’d told Gray on his birthday, he knew how Gray felt… But I didn’t go that far. I didn’t need to make a point of my own against Eli at Grady’s expense.

  Gray sighed and lost his spark for a moment, face-planting against my chest, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him close, holding him safe. Maybe even holding him together.

  I didn’t do hugs. I really didn’t. But Grady was different. Grady had been in my heart for a very long time, and he didn’t even know it. So, yeah, this was a dangerous game.

  But worth it to protect Gray.

  “You’re an idiot, you know?” Gray’s voice was muffled as he spoke against me.

  “Oh, yeah?” But I did know. My heart ached as I held him.

  “Yeah,” he confirmed. Then he heaved a sigh. “Mom is going to nag me so hard now.” He sighed again and I glanced down at him.

  “How so?”

  “Oh my God,” he moaned. “I can only imagine the chewing out I’m going to get for keeping my relationship with you a secret from her. You know how she is. Boyfriends, babies… And she likes to know everything, anyway. So this is going to be a huge deal. She might even need to buy another new dining table.” He thumped his fist gently against my chest.

  I laughed. “Is that all? We’ll just tell her the truth, Gray. No big deal, and no additional expense necessary.”

  He looked at me and shook his head. “No, you don’t get it. Telling her this was all a lie will break her heart. She’s wanted me to get with you for so long. You’ve just made all her dreams come true at once. I can’t take all that away.” He smiled wryly, and I cast a glance across the bar, meeting the eyes of a very interested Vanessa Caldwell as she looked directly back at me.

  Well, fuck. I tightened my arms around Grady as I digested his news. “Huh,” I said.

  “I think there’s only one thing for it.” He rested his cheek against me as he spoke.

  “What’s that?” I’d help fix things any way I could.

  “I think we’re going to have to go through with this. We can just fake dating for a while until we can fake break up and it’ll be no big deal.”

  Yeah.

  No. Big. Deal.

  3

  Grady

  My head pounded, and I rolled over. What the hell made me think partying on a literal school night would ever be a good idea? Sunlight filtered through the blinds and hit my closed eyes. I flinched away and burrowed under my covers. I wasn’t ready to be awake. I wasn’t ready to face the world as a full-fledged thirty-two-year-old.

  I groaned. And was Eli really getting married? Ugh.

  What time was it? I reached for my phone and pressed my thumb against the button to wake it up. If I had to start the day, so did my goddamn phone. It vibrated in my hand and a message popped up on the screen, followed by another then another, the list growing so fast I could barely count them. I scrolled back through my missed events. Mom—missed text, Eli—missed text, Leo—missed text, Eli—missed text, Eli—missed text. The list went on, and I sighed. I didn’t even know where to start.

  I sighed again. Of course I knew where to start. Eli. Always Eli.

  He’d left me a voicemail, and I sighed as I played it on speakerphone. His delicious voice filled my room, and I tried to hate him.

  “Hey, Gray. It’s me.”

  I smiled. He always greeted me like that. It was how we greeted each other. We’d always been me and me.

  He blew out a sigh that rattled through my speakers. “Listen, dude, I owe you an apology. I did a really dumb thing telling you about Benji and me like that. Especially on your birthday. Can we talk things out over lunch?”

  My heart squeezed as I hit the button to call him back. I’d never been able to tell him no. “Hey. It’s me. Same time, usual place?” I chuckled despite myself. The question almost didn’t need asking. Twenty hurried minutes in the staff breakroom that smelled of stale coffee and the sweat and premature aging of every teacher in the building.

  After I arranged lunch with Eli, I fired off a bunch of messages to my brothers. I should have just sent a group text, but I always had my best ideas after the event. Not one of them seemed able to believe Rome and I would be together, and a flicker of irritation drifted through me. What was it about us they couldn’t believe? I could be attractive to a guy like Rome, right? I mean, sure, they could be surprised but being actual stunned just seemed a tad…rude.

  I flipped the bird at my phone. That was for all of them. The doubting bastards.

  I jumped as my phone rang, the noise jarring. Shit. One of them knew I’d flipped them off. Which one? Kairo? Saint?

  Adrian’s name splayed across my screen, and I relaxed. “Dude.”

  “Hey, Grady,” he greeted me.

  I waited, but I didn’t have to wait long.

  “So, how come you didn’t tell any of us about this thing with you and Rome?”

  Oh, where to start? Maybe I would have actually shared something with them, you know, if I’d known about it my-own-damn-self.

  As it was, I didn’t have to reply. Adrian was quite happy to carry the conversation a little while, but he was always the same when he started moving his mouth. But that was probably part of being the baby brother. If one of us even accidentally gave him the opportunity to talk uninterrupted, he maximized it.

  “And I’m really happy for you, of course,” he said, and then he hesitated, and I knew what was coming.

  “But…”

  Oh, yeah, there it was. He might have been the youngest of us, but he had his fair share of Caldwell brains.

  “I was thinking, you know? Something feels kind of…off?” He sounded almost apologetic.

  “You think I couldn’t hook Rome?” I could almost feel his unease in the silence that followed. It vibrated across the radio waves connecting my cell to his.

  “I…ahh… Well, maybe.” He hesitated again. “I mean probably. But did you mean to? All these years, I thought Eli was your guy. I mean, how many times have you spent hours describing Eli’s eyes, his hair, his ass—” I could almost see his shudder down the phone. “—to me? I’ll tell you how many times, man. Too many. Way too many.” He sounded so puzzled that I laughed.

  “Chill, Adrian. It’s a thing Rome did. It’s not what it looks like.”

  “Aww, man. Mom’s gonna be pissed.” Adrian suddenly sounded much more like his teenage self than his true age, and I smiled. The memory of his pouty emo face almost made me chuckle.

  I sighed. “Ain’t that the truth.”

  Adrian laughed. “So why did Rome even do it?”

  “You know Rome.”

  And my family kind of did know Rome. At least, they were aware of Rome and how long we’d been friends. And it wasn’t quite the same thing as knowing, but my parents approved of Rome in a very Liam and Vanessa Caldwell kind of way. It had been signaled long ago that he had found himself on the good enough list. So, Mom wouldn’t only welcome him to a family dinner, she’d probably arrange him a parade to rival Macy’s if he came.

  “Yeah, I know him a little bit,” Adrian said. “But I didn’t go to that same fancy boarding school you and Leo did.”

  I ignored his usual teasing about Elsdon. We’d all been offered the opportunity to try for Dad’s alumni prep school because he believed boarding would be character building, but only Leo and I were interested enough in the experience to actually sit for the scholarship—not that any of us had lost out in the educational stakes.

  “Rome’s a white knight kinda guy,” I explained. “He saw an opportunity to save me from Eli or from myself, I guess.”

  “Oh, you poor damsel.” Adrian laughed for a third time. Someone had turned my brother into a fucking hyena overnight, and I grimaced.

  “Stop laughing at me,” I grumbled. Shit, I hadn’t even got out of my
bed yet, and one of my brothers was amusing himself at my expense.

  “Can’t help it, bro. You’re in some shit now, that’s for sure.”

  Ugh. Helpful. “Thanks, dude. I’ll catch you later.”

  But my sarcasm was lost on him. Adrian laughed again—hopefully for the final time, because the sound I usually found contagious really grated over my nerves when it was becoming increasingly clear it was totally at my expense. “I can’t wait to see how everything plays out.”

  I said a quick goodbye and turned the phone completely off before dragging my comforter over my head.

  I wanted to call in sick, but I’d already told Eli I’d see him at lunch, and I had a class of third graders who I liked to think might miss me if I didn’t show up to go through their math homework with them.

  I groaned. And jabbed my phone back on. What had Rome done? Unbelievable. I mean, I could see why he’d done it… Always the rescuer, making it his mission to save me. I smiled a little as I thought of his protective behavior.

  But wait. I couldn’t weaken. I needed to be mad at the situation, not glad he’d created it in the first place.

  Rome did everything with so much confidence. I’d envied that at school. He almost seemed to just expect that everything would be fine, as long as he acted with the best of intentions. And I’d never known his confidence be misplaced. Ever. Well, until I’d seen the look of unmatched pleasure in my mother’s eyes at our fake news last night.

  That single expression told me the fallout from this well-intentioned stunt could be very bad indeed.

  I blew out a sigh. He’d done it to protect me, and I appreciated it—probably more than I was willing to let myself admit to—but now the mess he’d created needed cleaning up.

  I breathed in the longest inhale in the world and released it. But there weren’t enough deep breaths in the world to calm me enough for telling Mom it was all a lie. She’s be so disappointed. Disappointed in the actual lie, for sure, but also disappointed that her mission to pair each of her sons up had hit a snag. I’d seen her face at my party—relief and elation didn’t describe her emotions strongly enough. We needed to make this look real, if even for only a little bit.