How Do I Get Out of Here Read online

  Longs could not hold in his laugh any longer. It took him a good three minutes to get himself back together before he could be reasonable on the phone again. “Alright man, but it’s good to hear from you and that no one was killed. But beyond everything else; I don’t care what crap you all have going on, but if something happens to those kids Uncle Longs is going to kill you.”

  Before Preston could reply back to what Longs was saying he heard the kitchen door open like someone was already standing there for awhile. It was Delight looking at him like she heard every word. Preston wasn’t sure how much she heard so he kept his statement to a minimum. “Hey brother, code 3 I’ll holla.” And without a response Longs hung up the phone.

  Delight looked drained. Her hair looked all out of place, her eyes were swollen as baseballs, and her emotional state looked less than mediocre. “So this was all about you getting some head and me not swallowing? You know what why would I want to do something like that to someone who doesn’t respect me and doesn’t do anything that I ask?”

  Preston felt at a loss for words, then fired, “I’ve been trying to get you to work a part-time job at McDonald’s or something and you act like you are too good for that. At least Lustray can go to school full time and hold a part-time job at the daycare center. But, you know what? It’s no point in talking to you about it, because I am so sick of having the conversation. Just go somewhere and leave me alone. And yes the head from her was “off the chain”, because my wife couldn’t handle her business. You should listen to Chris Rock sometimes. No matter what you say about God a man is a man regardless. And if man wasn’t the way he is naturally there would be no reason for God, period!”

  Delight looked at Preston and said, “I am going to go upstairs and act like this is a bad dream. So when I wake up in the morning I am going to wake up and have a descent life.”

  “Well, I’m not staying here any longer, I am going to be getting out of here and trying to get my mind straight to figure out what I am going to do.”

  “And just where do you think you are going to go?”

  “I talked to Longs and I will be staying with him for awhile so when I feel right I can make a wise decision.” She must have not heard the statement about getting a divorce Preston thought. Preston knew he was going to try and knock on Lustray’s door the minute he got out of there. But, on second thought, it was late and the night was emotionally draining. So the best thing for him to do was hit the couch, recuperate some brain cells and attend class the next morning.

  “I don’t know what makes you think that going to his house is going to make things that much better? We will be going to counseling this week and that is it! You need to repent and get yourself right, because this hurts.” Delight grabbed her Bible and went upstairs to go read.

  Preston sat downstairs on the couch and decided to just watch Sportscenter until he fell asleep. He felt like he needed to go and talk to Lustray. He knew she was hurt and that there was only so much that he could do at that point. He figured he had just better start getting some diapers for his child and just drop them off at Lustray’s apartment whenever he had a chance to get a little money. “The least I could do is start getting some things that she will need for the baby coming around this time.” Well Preston you really did it this time, you should really get down on your knees and pray for God’s intervention to straighten this thing out. Preston just felt like praying would do him no good at this point. After all of the scandals that he’s pulled he wasn’t even sure if he God would even hear him. What has he done as far as church now? What is the point in even going to seminary school anymore? Who would listen to a sermon by an adulterer?

  Before Preston got comfortable he grabbed a bottle of Scotch out of the kitchen cabinet and drank it straight for the rest of the night. “Maybe this will help me get some sound sleep and make part of this nightmare go away. My birthday is in a couple of days and this is what I have to look forward to. He drank the entire bottle, puked all over the living room carpet and passed out in his vomit.

  III

  The following morning Preston woke up feeling some type of sticky and moist substance along his face. He could not believe that he fell asleep in his own vomit! “Man, I thought only drunks were capable of such hideous acts, but I guess that’s a symbol of where I am headed.” His head was still spinning and he looked feverishly for his cell phone that had the most annoying alarm to wake up to. Man he sure was hungry after losing his appetite the night before due to the roller coaster of events. He smelled bacon and eggs in the kitchen, just what he needed to start the day. Delight was in the kitchen scrambling eggs in her pink bra and panties. Preston wanted to go over there and just caress her, but that would just lead to something he is trying to get out of. And he definitely wasn’t going to eat any of the breakfast in front of her, because that would just give her some sense of hope. Preston just carried himself upstairs hungry so that he would not have to look at her and engage in any unsolicited conversations.

  “Mr. Brown, I hope that you know that you are going to clean up all of this vomit and we have some things to discuss before you head out of the door,” Delight yelled to Preston up the stairs.

  Preston being the man that he is just chose to ignore her and immediately turned on the shower head to drown out her voice. As soon as he let the hot water touch his body he felt like just going back to sleep in the shower until…..

  WHAM! The door flew open with Delight standing in the middle of the doorway like she was Superwoman. At this time Preston’s heart dropped and felt like this was the time he should really be scared.

  “Maybe she wanted me to sleep it off and then give me the knives from the kitchen while I was in relax mode,” Preston thought. “I really need to get out of here before something really bad happens. It never happens like this in the movies. I know she has something plotted against me and I will not be run over four or five times like that one guy I saw on E! True Hollywood Story. I will not be a statistic!”

  “I know you heard me the first time when you were downstairs! Now you can act stupid all you want but you better act like you know!”

  “Girl, I didn’t hear a word you said! I heard a few words and I had the shower running. How am I going to hear you from way downstairs all along with the shower running on high pressure?” Preston shot back in defensive fashion.

  Delight put one hand on her hip and pointed her left index finger at Preston and sternly stated, “I am so emotionally rocked right now I don’t know if I want to kill you or have mad sex with you!”

  Of all of the crazy things Preston heard about women, he never heard of anything like this. Although, it sounded appealing on one half, it sounded just as scary on the other so he opted not to entertain either scenario and just grabbed a dry off towel to wrap around his waist and gently side stepped his way around her.

  As Preston began to pull up his pants and make his way out of the door, he felt her hand grab his midsection rather aggressively. He wasn’t sure where this was leading to, so he played it safe.

  “Delight, you know this is finals week and I have to get to class. So just leave me be and let me handle my business.”

  Delight completely ignored him and had a devilish grin on her face. “The only business that you have to handle is right here,” Delight commanded as her undergarments hit the floor. She turned Preston around and mushed Preston’s head backward forcing him on his back with his trousers half way down. “I want you to fulfill all of my fantasies and you are not leaving until it happens.”

  “Wowwwwww”, Preston pondered to himself. “It has really come to this. This girl has literally lost her mind. Although it does sound intriguing, I need to get out of here in a hurry.” Simultaneously as Preston began to get up he felt Delight on top of him and there was no turning back.

  During the whole ordeal all Preston could think about was that he had to somehow get himself under control. “I mean, how does that sound? I am feeling wrong to be intimate wit
h my wife?” The more Preston thought about it, the more bizarre this whole situation became to him.

  “Look, I don’t feel like doing anything with you right now and I can’t miss the entire class, I’m late already,” Preston yelled.

  Delight glazed down at Preston and retorted, “Well, it seems like someone else down there is thinking something different.”

  “It’s not good and I am really not into this right now, I’m coming back later to get the rest of my things so I can get on with my life.”

  Delight chuckled, “Oh, so here you go again with that whole leaving bit Preston.”

  “Yeah, what you thought, I was joking or something,” Preston hissed with his Jersey dialect.

  “No, no, no. Before you leave from here I am leaving you first Mr. Brown! I am calling my grandparents down South and I am packing up the kids and leaving with them as soon as they get out of school. You dog! You dirty dog!”

  Preston felt traumatized at the mere thought of not being able to see his children on a daily basis. He never wanted to be in the same situation as his father, but here it was. He was forced into cutting time. He couldn’t let her leave that easily without him thinking through all of the details. Where would he go? How would the kids feel without him? After all, he did get married to be with his oldest child. Preston had to think of something quick in order to calm her down until he got all of the details in his head right. He never meant for things to get so out of hand and this was not the ballpark he wanted to play in. Hearing the tears break out of her face made Preston feel less than what he could ever imagine so human nature sparked its intellect. “I know this is going to be a stretch, but I have to do it,” Preston coiled in his mind.

  So he rubbed Delight affectionately and proceeded to finish what was desired of her until she fell asleep.

  As Delight lay asleep, Preston could only hear his infant crying in the playpen downstairs. He woke up Delight and told her he was off to school even though it was too late; so he had to go give the professor some lame excuse for missing. Delight got out of bed and tended to their infant so that he could finally eat.

  While all of this was going on all Preston could think about was getting Lustray’s attention. There was nothing more heart breaking for Preston than to think that there was someone out there that actually didn’t like him. He was so use to everyone liking him that it would damage him if someone thought that he was a bad person. There had to be something that he could do and he had to do it quick! The first thing that Preston had to do was stop thinking about so many things at once. He had to prioritize. So he got himself fully dressed and decided to make amends with his professor first. Then it would be off to Lustray’s to see if there was anything left to salvage.

  Preston left without giving the traditional good-bye kiss or uttering a kind word. He couldn’t wait to jump into his car and speed down the road.

  “I got the wife calmed down and now it’s off to the next adventure,” Preston said to himself while he pumped Jay-Z’s new Blueprint CD. Preston was on the loose again, but before he could go any further he had to give Longs a shout….

  IV

  Preston cruised down the Winchester Pike as he dialed up Longs’ cell phone number. The phone continued to rang continuously until he heard the raspy voice on the other end.

  “Hey, what’s up cat? I was wondering how you were making out so far. So how is everything going?”

  “Well, she raped me for starters,” Preston laughed into the phone.

  “So what else were you expecting little brother? You know she was already all emotional and that she didn’t know if she wanted to love you or leave you. Trust me I been there. Now I haven’t been popping seeds inside everybody like you do, but I do know the philander dialect my brother.”

  Preston just shook his head. “Man, how do you know so much of this crap? At first I thought she was going to kill me while I was in the bathroom butt naked, but things took a sudden turn….”

  “You mean your little man downstairs took a sudden turn”, Longs interrupted. “I know you probably hate yourself for doing it, but what you are going through is a man thing. I tell you what…that female can take all of the greatest of men out of their foci and you my friend are just another proven statistic of the Venus flytrap.”

  Again, Preston hated to hear the truth that was always told to him; especially if it was from Longs. Preston was relieved to end the conversation as he pulled up to the school. “Hey man, I just pulled up to the school and I need to talk to Dr. Waggoner about why I did not show up to his class earlier today.”

  “Alright man, well just get back to me when you get it all cleared up.”

  The only thing Preston was thinking about was how he could get back in touch with Lustray and get back on good terms with her. There was no way that he could see himself with Delight the rest of his life in this entire situation. Lustray was just so sweet to him and so nice. Now he threw all of that away by not telling her the truth to begin with. Preston closed the car door and marched up to the third floor to Dr. Waggoner’s office. Before he could knock, the door flew open as Mr. Waggoner was making his way out of the office.

  “Hey, hey Mr. Waggoner,” Preston stammered. “I was just coming to let you know that I had an emergency over on I70 and I just couldn’t get here on time. Is there any way possible that I could get the notes from you or get an overview of what you went over in class today?”

  Mr. Waggoner rubbed his aged fingers through his hair and obliviously flaked clouds of dandruff on his black suit and replied, “I am really in a rush right now, but you should get some of the notes from one of your classmates.”

  “Ok, sure thing Mr. Waggoner.” Ask one of his classmates? It’s been so long since Preston spoke with anyone in his class, let alone to ask one of them for some notes on a class. Ever since he’s been running between Delight and Lustray he’s been nonexistent in the seminary. The last one in class and the first one out! No time to have meaningful conversation and no time to say hello to those that have always offered their services. “Wow, things have really taken a turn,” Preston uttered. “At some point this is going to have to stop, but I really don’t know how to. I’m torn between two families and now I have to choose. I’ll just drive over to Lustray’s since I know she is home and find out what’s going on.”

  Preston dashed out of the seminary and made his way over to Lustray’s at warp speed. After running a few red lights, he pulled up into the apartment complex just to find that she was still there. He took a deep breath and walked up the steps to knock on the door.

  Preston knocked about ten times. He knew she was home, because she only had one car and she didn’t have to go to school or work all day. The car was there, but the inside of the place just looked dead. All of the lights were off and there was no sound whatsoever. The oldest daughter was in school, but what about the youngest one? As Preston turned away he heard footsteps, like someone coming slowly down the stairs. Then the door opened.

  “Hello, Mr. Brown. Mommy said she doesn’t want to talk to you and that she doesn’t want to be your friend anymore,” the little voice cried. Preston was impressed not by the words, but how well rehearsed her presentation was.

  “Well tell Mommy that I stopped by and wanted to talk to her about some things that she might want to know about,” Preston stated in his most elementary vocabulary possible. Preston was not in the business of interrogating children so politely said, “Okay, well it was good to see you again and I will try to call her some other time.”

  “Alright Mr. Brown, I like your shoes!” She always complimented Preston whenever he wore something different or if it seemed different. It always amazed Preston how kids were always so advanced to notice new things so much more than adults did. Maybe Preston was even more nave to the fact that his children already knew what was going on back at their home! He never told them, but maybe in some odd way it was possible that they were growing accustomed to their mother crying all of the t
ime and Preston not being home.

  V

  If there was one thing Preston did not take to very well it was rejection. Rejection from a family member, rejection from a coach, rejection from a teacher…whoever it was Preston was not having it. “I have got to get some of this under control. I have lost touch with home, Lustray, friends, and most importantly I lost God. I really don’t even know what the point of praying is anymore. I’ve been so distant that I don’t believe God could even hear my cry at this point. Well, I might as well just continue the path since I have already steeped to the lowest of the lows.”

  The day was winding down and Preston had no choice but to go home. Why would he not have a choice you might ask? For starters, Preston loved to eat and there was no way that Preston could go to bed hungry and two where else would he go to sleep? Longs was already occupied with his lady and Preston didn’t have many friends to begin with so he just went on his merry way to make it through another night.

  Preston pulled up to the apartment and saw that everything looked normal from the outside. “But, what about the inside?” As Preston closed the door his heart began to race with that all too common adrenaline rush. “Come on Preston, if she wanted to kill you she would have done it already.” Preston tried feverishly to pump himself up and get his mind rolling into “commander-mode” before he opened the door but it was a totally different outcome………

  “Dad, where were you been at all day? We’ve been trying to find you all day with mom upstairs crying. Yeah, she said, because you weren’t with the family. That ain’t right,” Squire scolded.

  “I can see their mom been coaching them up already,” Preston thought to himself. Preston already knew that if Delight could not talk to him directly that she would in some way or form get the kids to communicate her message to him through the kids. “Squire, didn’t I tell you about staying out of grown folks business. So you better get your little butt up in the bed before I put it to sleep the old fashioned way. Daddy’s got work to do and it doesn’t concern you. You just worry about being a kid and get your homework done, which you continuously have failed to do,” Preston hurled.