The Second Chance Read online

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  The next morning, Percy awoke long before Anna did. During their time living together, she’d always been the morning person, and prior to moving in with her, he’d spent years of his life being grumpy and sluggish in the morning. He’d never forget the first week they’d spent together in their small apartment. Anna had quietly sneaked out of bed every morning and prepared a cup of tea for herself. She had then sat quietly at the tiny kitchen table and worked the daily crossword puzzle while he continued to sleep. After their sixth day of cohabitation, he’d gotten out of bed half an hour earlier than usual, to discover that she drank her tea wearing nothing but a small, silky robe.

  “You’re up early, Matthew,” she’d looked up at him and said when he’d walked into the kitchen that morning.

  He’d rubbed his eyes, and said, “Unfortunately,” in his usual grumpy manner.

  He’d never forget the absolutely magical moment that followed. She’d stood up and allowed her robe to fall open and reveal her nakedness as she’d approached him. “What’s unfortunate about it?” she’d asked when she reached him. She’d then ran both hands up his chest and purred, “We get to spend an extra half hour together, doing whatever we want.”

  His body had perked up so quickly at her suggestive invitation that his skin actually tingled as she raised herself up on the tips of her toes to give him a passionate kiss. That morning he’d discovered that his girlfriend tended to wake up in the mood for love nearly every day. He’d been a morning person ever since.

  As he looked down at her this morning, he knew that he could wake her up with a gentle kiss and she would be all over him in a matter of minutes. It was something he’d done countless times when they’d lived together. She’d never shied away from the joy of physical intimacy with him, and he’d seen it as one of the sweetest and purest expressions of the love they’d shared. He’d actually gone through physical withdrawals when she first left.

  A quick glance at the clock told him it was 6:03 am. His plane departed at noon today, and Anna had to be at her seminar by 7:30. He knew she’d be springing out of bed soon, ready to face the day. He watched her, and dreaded the moment when her eyes would flutter open and end their peaceful morning cuddled up in bed. If he didn’t have a court date tomorrow, he would have stayed another day with her. They could have discussed their future. When she started to stir, he rubbed his nose against the side of her face and breathed her in.

  “Good morning, Beautiful,” he said when she opened her eyes.

  “Good morning,” she replied with a guarded look.

  Percy immediately kissed her, hoping to dispel the tension. “Last night was wonderful,” he whispered against her lips. “I think it was the start of something special.”

  She immediately pushed him away with a panicked look. “What do you mean the start of something?”

  “Anna, you know exactly what I mean. I think we should see each other again, and see where this leads.”

  She took a breath and covered her face for a moment. “Matthew, last night was more of a goodbye than a hello. This is a definite end. Now that you’ve had your questions answered, you have the closure you need to move on,” she said in a strained voice.

  Percy felt a small part of himself die a little at her painful words. Even the look on her face broke his heart; she didn’t look like she believed her own words. She looked like it pained her more to say them than it pained him to hear them.

  “Why are you talking like that? What about last night?” he asked.

  “Matthew, don’t over analyze this. There’s no point.”

  “Anna, there is a point!” he gritted out more harshly than he’d intended. “How could you say there’s no point after yesterday? After last night?”

  Instead of answering, she turned over and pounded her pillow. “There’s no point Matthew,” she repeated, her voice thick with unshed tears. “Just let last night be a pleasant memory.”

  “A pleasant memory?” he asked bitterly. “Is that all I am to you?”

  “Matthew, you’re making this harder than it has to be,” she said as she looked up at him again.

  “Good,” he stated.

  She surprised him with a small chuckle, but then she sobered up very quickly. “I can’t see you again, and that’s all there is to it.”

  “Why can’t you?” he asked. “Is there somebody else?”

  “What is it with men? You assume that there must be a better guy lurking somewhere when a woman refuses you. There is no one else, Matthew. It’s worse than that. I have no intention of returning to Florida to live. I go back to visit my family periodically, but that’s it. I will never live there again.”

  “I’m not asking you to move back to Florida, at least not right now. If that’s your only objection, we can live in another state,” he groused.

  Anna didn’t bother to reply again. Instead, she got out of the bed and retrieved her purse from the desk across the room. Percy tried to ignore the stirrings in his body as he watched her flounce naked across the room. She didn’t shrink away from his hungry gaze as she walked back to the bed clutching her wallet. She took out her ID and handed it to him. “I can’t move back to the United States, Matthew. When I left, I didn’t just leave you, I left that country. That situation with your job made me realize that things are never going to change. I’m always going to have to deal with people making snap judgments about me and my worth as a human based on my skin color, but I decided that I could escape the worst of it by getting out of there. I realized that if you, my lover and partner at the time, couldn’t be on my side enough to let me vent about it without telling me not to take everything so personally, then there was no hope. I didn’t want to wonder for the rest of my life if everyone I work with is talking about me behind my back because they’re so sure I got my job through affirmative action and not at all because I’m qualified. I didn’t want to deal with the stares and the comments we got when we went certain places together. And I certainly didn’t want to deal with you making excuses for this system of white privilege that belittles, isolates, and demeans people like me in a number of ways that are invisible to those who aren’t adversely affected. I didn’t want to have to bite my tongue on those things just to keep the peace for the rest of my life, so I left. I didn’t just give up on our relationship, Matthew; I gave up on the country that gave up on me the moment I was born with dark skin. I’m a Canadian citizen now, and this is the most content I’ve ever been in my life.”

  Percy stared down at her identification card as her words washed over him. She was happier here, happier without him. He thought again about the last few months of their relationship, and wished he’d been more receptive and understanding of her concerns when it had counted the most. “Is that your final word?” he asked, although he already knew what her answer would be.

  “I’m afraid it is,” she said as she stood up again. “Look Matthew, it’s so hard to keep prolonging this. Maybe you should just go now. I have an early start today, and you need to get ready to catch your plane.”

  Her eyes skewered him to the core as she waited for him to exit her bed. His clothes were strewn about the room, and her eyes never left him as he calmly collected them. He’d been fool enough to think he’d stumbled into some magical happy ending. It was a mistake he had no intention of ever repeating again. She wrapped up in the sheet and sat next to him as he put on his socks and shoes.

  “I really am glad we ran into each other, Matthew. I’ll always love you.”

  Percy didn’t look at her. He concentrated instead on her hand resting lightly on his forearm. Like two nights ago, it reminded him of a little bird ready to take flight. He placed his hand over hers, and soaked in that moment when her touch felt more grounded and substantial.

  “I guess love isn’t all that matters… I love you too, but you don’t trust me enough for this to work, and I
’m not going to beg.”

  At his unforgiving words, she broke all contact with him by retracting her hand and standing up. The little bird had taken flight and was now clutching the sheet in front of her unbound breasts.

  “I didn’t expect you to beg. Goodbye Matthew.” With those final words, she walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Matthew took his cue and left her room when he heard the shower start.