A Whisper of Life Read online

  She glared at the boy in the ridiculous cowboy getup. ‘You’re just a bad loser, Denny James.’ She turned and went back to the gate. If she hurried through the fields she would beat him to the milking parlour. She would show him, as she would anyone else who attempted to bring her down, that she couldn’t care less what they thought of her.

  * * *

  Jonny was ready to leave the darkroom, satisfied with the photographs he had taken in the cornfield. It had been a good day, one of the best, fully justifying his decision to leave the RAF. He had sold a lot of his work locally. Douglas Goodyear had been good enough to recommend him to contacts in the publishing world and he was doing well there too. He was gaining a respected reputation, yet without stepping outside of the county. Although he was looking forward to travelling afar and building up a more diverse portfolio, he was pleased to have two reasons to stay on in Hennaford. There was his part in the village play; rehearsals were to resume after all the farmers had brought the harvest in. A short while afterwards he was to give Louisa away at her wedding. It meant he could remain close to Kate for a while longer. He was being careful not to present how he felt about her or the family would warn him off. Rightly so too – the sheltered existence Kate had led meant she knew too little about life to be sure of her own mind yet where men were concerned. He must proceed with her very slowly. It might be a year or two before he could make an approach to her but she was worth the wait. He asked his heart every day if he really was in love with her and each time it answered that he adored her and his life would be a frightening void without her. Sometimes to him, a man who had vigorously shunned romance, marriage and the rest of it, it seemed ludicrous to have fallen in love at last. But he hadn’t known Kate before. Part of his former emptiness must have been his subconscious telling him it was time he found a permanent mate. He had found the one he wanted, and his biggest fear was that someone else, especially Alan Killigrew, would step in and take her away. He had to forge something so strong and special with her that she wouldn’t look elsewhere. When he did go away, it wouldn’t be for long each time, he’d suggest they keep in touch by letter. He’d write long informative letters to keep him in her mind.

  The darkroom opened into the den and he found Emilia and Perry there, sharing the desk and both writing letters. ‘We’ll be a while yet,’ she said. ‘Go through and help yourself to a drink, Jonny.’

  ‘Thanks. I thought I’d help out again tomorrow, Aunt Em. All right if I stay over?’

  ‘Of course. We’re very grateful of the extra help. We’ll join you later for a nightcap.’

  His throat was bone dry after heaving sheaves up on the cart for several hours under a blazing hot sun and he needed a glass or two of wine. He was thrilled to find Kate in the sitting room alone, with wireless music playing softly in the background. She must be giving Tom and Jill some space. What could be more perfect? ‘Hello, my love. This is a really pleasant surprise.’

  She put aside the magazine she was browsing through. ‘Hello Jonny. You’ve had a busy day. Can I get you a cup of tea?’

  ‘No thanks. I’m going to open some white wine. Can I pour you a glass?’

  ‘Just a small one. I’m not used to it. The first time I tasted wine was on my birthday.’

  He poured the drinks then sat down beside her on the sofa. He had the ideal excuse. He would show her his latest batch of photographs. ‘What do you think?’

  ‘They’re excellent, Jonny.’ She smiled at him. ‘They always are. You’ll be really famous one day.’

  ‘I don’t know about that. I’m not sure I want that.’ I want you, he thought, at my side, always. He leaned in close, pointing out details, breathing in the freshness and sweetness of her, gazing at her more than at the photos. His newfound career was unimportant compared to her. He drank her in. She was wearing a pink and white cotton blouse and trousers. Her silver locket rested against the creamy skin just below her neck. Her complexion was silky and healthy. Her hair framed her exquisite finely sculptured face in glossy auburn waves. He loved her eyes, shining with innocence and promise. He loved her small hands; they were not smooth and manicured, but her fingers tapered and she had a soft touch. She was ethereal and beautiful. It was new to him to admire a woman in other than a sensual way. He desired her, of course, but those deeper feelings could wait.

  Kate had got used to his eyes resting on her. She assumed he was sizing up new shots of her. She seemed to be one of his favourite subjects, for she figured greatly in today’s photos. She glanced at him. She enjoyed the sight of his gorgeous dark features. She knew every strong angle of his brow, his nose, his high cheekbones, his wide mouth, and every imperfection of the stretched skin of his marred cheek. She could picture him accurately when she lay in bed with her eyes closed in the dark. She liked the strength of him and his heady masculine smell, mixed now with the soap he’d used after taking a bath. He needed a second shave but she liked the dark stubble on his chin. She realized she was staring at him, that would never do. Picking up her glass, she took a sip. ‘Mrs Em is writing to Mrs Rothwell again. I think she’s feeling guilty about what happened to Abbie.’

  ‘There’s no need for that. Abbie was pretty much her own boss. She knew what she was doing when she left here. It was terribly bad luck that Mitchell happened to be there when she was taken ill.’

  ‘But she’d changed after her hopes failed for Mark Fuller. Mrs Em felt she was under her care and that she let her down by not realizing how upset she was. Jill told me about the row they had over me. She feels bad about that. She wanted to see Abbie at the infirmary but only Mrs Em was allowed to go in. You know Mrs Rothwell, Jonny. Do you think she’s angry with all of us? She refused Mrs Em’s invitation to stay at the farm.’

  It was a simple thing to ask and he loved her for it. How enchanting she was. ‘No one’s angry with you, darling Kate. I got the chance to speak to Honor at the hotel. The only people she blames for hurting Abbie are the beastly Mitchell couple. Thank God they were soon arrested, tracked down for having the nerve to make a bid for the reward money. They’ll get a long jail sentence. They deserve to rot there. They left Abbie without a care if she’d die. It was easier for Honor to visit Abbie from the hotel, and as soon as Abbie was able to travel she was eager to take her home and get back to her husband. Archie is not a well man.’

  ‘It’s over a month since Abbie was taken home and apparently she hasn’t left the house in all that time. She might never get over her awful experiences. I had a tough time, nothing like that, of course, but I know how it can drag you down. I was lucky. I met Jill and was given a new lease of life. Abbie might need something new to help her come to terms with everything. What if it never happens, Jonny?’

  Her face was creased with concern and he longed to put comforting arms around her. ‘I’m sure something will turn up. Abbie’s got her painting. That’s sure to take her out and about eventually.’

  ‘I hope so. I’d like to see her, but I don’t suppose she’ll ever want to come here again.’

  ‘I’m planning on visiting Oak Tree Warren before the year is out. Why don’t you come with me?’ It would be wonderful to travel with Kate, to show her more of life.

  Kate frowned. ‘I’d have to see what Jill has to say about that.’

  This made Jonny grip her arm. ‘Kate, darling, you’re your own person. Free to go wherever you like. You don’t have to ask anyone’s permission. At the very least you’re entitled to a holiday. Would you like to go up to Lincolnshire with me?’

  ‘Yes.’ There were many things she would like to do, all new experiences, including travelling on a train, and it would be brilliant to go somewhere with Jonny. He was a good friend and… she didn’t know what else he was, but she felt differently about him than she did Tom or any other man. She put a hand over his. ‘I’d love to.’

  ‘It’s a certainty then.’ Rapt, he leaned forward and kissed her cheek.

  At that moment Perry came into the room. The smile he wa
s wearing disappeared abruptly. ‘What’s going on?’ Jonny shuffled down the other end of the sofa, his face on fire. It was plain what Perry had thought. ‘Oh, um, Kate and I were just talking about going up to see the Rothwells.’

  ‘Were you indeed. Jonny, could I have a word? Kate, dear, would you mind going through to the kitchen and making Mrs Em and I some cocoa, please?’

  Kate looked from one male face to the other. She could tell Mr Perry was displeased, but she believed it was over them making arrangements without consulting anyone here first. Jonny would put things right. ‘Of course, right away.’

  Perry closed the door after her. He had disguised his anger and indignation for Kate’s sake, she was too naive to know what Jonny’s game had been, but now he let rip. ‘What the hell do you think you were doing? I could hardly believe my eyes. Your behaviour was outrageous! You can have any woman you like and you usually do, but I find you flirting with Kate. More than that, planning on getting her away so you can seduce her.’

  ‘Perry, it’s not how it looked,’ Jonny pleaded. He was on his feet.

  ‘I know what I saw, and if Jill and Tom had witnessed it you wouldn’t be standing there in one piece. Get to the den, now! I’m telling your aunt about this.’

  Emilia was folding her letter when Perry pushed Jonny through the den door. ‘What’s the matter?’

  ‘Prepare yourself for a shock.’ Perry gave Jonny another push, and another, until he was standing before Emilia like a naughty schoolboy.

  As Perry spelled it out in disgusted terms, Jonny felt more humiliated than ever before in his life. His love for Kate was being turned into something sordid. ‘Let me explain! I was not trying to seduce Kate. Far from it. I’d never do anything to hurt her. I’m in love with her.’

  ‘You’re what?’ Emilia gasped, coming round the desk to him. ‘That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard.’

  ‘No it isn’t, Aunt Em.’ He threw out his hands. ‘If you’ll just listen to me and try to see things my way…’

  ‘You must be joking,’ Perry snapped. ‘We know what you’re like, remember, Jonny?’

  ‘But I do love her. I didn’t think I was capable of falling in love, but I have with Kate. It just happened. I know now what you both share. And Tom and Jill too, and my father and Susan. I love Kate, I really do.’

  ‘Whatever you think you feel for Kate, Jonny,’ Emilia said sternly, ‘you’ve got to stop it, for her sake. She’s just a child, and even if she was a lot older you’ve absolutely nothing in common.’

  ‘I’ve thought about all that, Aunt Em, honestly I have. I admit I shouldn’t have kissed her just now, that I should have been more careful, but I wasn’t planning on there being anything between us for ages yet. One day the age difference won’t matter. After all, Susan is a lot younger than my father.’

  ‘That was different,’ Perry said, angry that Jonny should defend himself. ‘Susan was a widow in her twenties, with a child, already supporting herself, and not about to get her head filled with fancy notions. Tristan wasn’t involved with the social scene you move in. He offered Susan stability, he didn’t sweep her off her feet, as you want to do with Kate.’

  ‘But I’m willing to settle down and all the rest of it.’ Jonny could almost have cried. Why couldn’t he get them to see he was sincere?

  ‘If you’re not careful, Jonny, you could ruin the girl’s life,’ Emilia said, wanting to shake him for causing these complications. ‘What if Kate becomes infatuated with you? What if it’s already happened? Kate would never be happy living your way of life. You could break her heart. Destroy her.’

  ‘I won’t!’ Jonny was getting angry now. ‘I swear I won’t, and if you can bring yourselves not to interfere I’ll prove it to you. I don’t expect Kate to change for me. I’ll be the one to make the changes.’

  ‘You’re talking a lot of hot air.’ Perry glared at Jonny to make sure he saw that he would not give an inch. ‘It’s only a matter of time before you’ll be sniffing round some high-class piece of skirt.’

  ‘God in heaven, why won’t you listen to me?’ Jonny screeched. ‘It’s impossible to hurt someone you love.’

  ‘I think you’d better go home now, Jonny.’ Emilia took a deep impatient breath. ‘I suggest you back out of the play and keep a low profile until Louisa’s wedding. I don’t want to talk to you again until you come to your senses. Until you do, if you try to see Kate, then Perry and I will tell Tom and Jill what you’ve been up to. We’ll see you to the front door.’

  Jonny gazed a moment at the desk, thinking about its former owner. ‘Uncle Alec would have understood. You can turn me out, but if I lose Kate because of you both I’ll never forgive you.’

  As Emilia closed the front door and Perry reached up to shut the top bolt, Kate came into the passage with two mugs of cocoa on a tray. ‘Has Jonny gone?’

  ‘He was needed at home.’ Emilia forced a smile.

  ‘I thought I heard raised voices. Is everything all right?’ Kate was sure there had been an argument about the proposed trip to Lincolnshire. The Boswelds probably didn’t want her to go, but Jonny had made her think. She did have the right to go anywhere she wanted and she really wanted to go with him. She loved his company. He treated her as a grown-up.

  Perry took the tray from her and ushered her into the sitting room. ‘Everything is fine, sweetheart. We mustn’t expect to see Jonny for a while. He’s going to be very busy.’

  Kate sensed they wanted to change the subject but she wasn’t about to oblige them. ‘Why?’

  ‘Oh, he thinks he’s been neglecting his photography,’ Emilia said. ‘He has got to earn his living. Well, we’d better not stay up late. We’ve got another long busy day tomorrow.’

  ‘Actually, I’m a bit tired. If you’ll excuse me I think I’ll go to bed,’ Kate said.

  * * *

  Jonny got no further than just below the brow of the hill. In a whirl of anger and frustration that he could be thought of as being so shallow he stopped to light a cigarette. There was no need for his aunt and Perry to have been so harsh. He might not have thought through all the implications of falling in love with Kate but he knew the difference between right and wrong. He might have been a womanizer, and that was an outdated notion, but the women he’d had sex with were all consenting adults who knew their own minds. How could his aunt and Perry believe he had been trying to seduce Kate? He could never do anything to hurt her. All those at Ford Farm were too possessive about her. He supposed he was himself. Now he had no choice but to keep away from her. Kate, and Tom and Jill, would wonder why he was being suddenly aloof. It meant something else he had no choice about. He would have to go away, at least until Louisa’s wedding. It would be awful not to be close to Kate but it would give him the chance to show his aunt and Perry that he was capable of ‘doing the decent thing’. It would prove he wasn’t putting Kate under any sort of pressure or compromising her. He would send postcards to Tom and Jill and put friendly messages on them for Kate, keep himself on her mind. He was a man of strategy. He would play the game carefully and when the time was right Kate would be his. He didn’t usually believe in fate and the hand of God working in one’s life, but somehow he had known that despite the tremendous odds he would come through the war, and he was as certain as life itself that Kate’s trust of him would one day grow into love.

  Kate slipped through to the kitchen, saying goodnight to Tilda on the way. Rather than going in to Jill and Tom in their sitting room, she stole outside. She wanted to speak to Jonny. She knew the Boswelds wouldn’t approve, she was sure they had quarrelled with him, but she wanted to learn what had happened. She hoped she would be able to catch up with him. Shushing the dogs and sending them away, she went out into the lane and to the brow of the hill. Her heart leapt. Just ahead was the glow of a cigarette. In the light of the moon she made out Jonny’s broad outline. She let out a stage whisper. ‘Jonny, wait!’

  ‘Kate.’ He strode back to her, throwing the c
igarette down. He whispered, ‘What are you doing out here?’

  ‘I wanted to see you. Did you really have to go home straight away?’ It seemed he did not if he was hanging about.

  The last thing he had expected was to be facing Kate. He rejoiced in the fact that she cared enough about him to follow him. ‘Um, I thought I’d better run along. I’m really tired.’

  ‘Mrs Em said you were needed at home. Was that true? Did you and Mrs Em and Mr Perry exchange angry words? Was it about Lincolnshire? You’re my friend, Jonny. You’ve always been good to me. Do you need to talk? I know it’s the busiest time of the year at the farm but I’m sure I could slip away for an hour tomorrow. We could meet in the little spot in Tremore woods by the stream, where we went before.’

  More than anything in the world. To be alone with her again where they had spent such an idyllic time was utterly tempting. ‘Aunt Em thought you ought to settle down here a little more before you get about, Kate, but I promise you that we will take that trip up to Lincolnshire some day, and other places too. Actually, I’m going away tomorrow, but I’ll keep in touch. Shall be back for the wedding, of course.’

  ‘I’ll miss you, Jonny.’

  Did the moonlight show how much he was smiling at her words? ‘I’ll miss you too, Kate, very much. You’d better go back in. Tom will be making a last check round the stead in a minute.’ He always kissed the women in the family when coming and going. He was sure Kate wouldn’t mind if he gave her a peck on the cheek.