Barrie, J M - A Kiss For Cinderella Read online

  CINDERELLA. Sometimes I (She sits up.) Listen !

  PROBATIONER (alarmed). It isn't Dr. Bodie, is it?

  CINDERELLA. No, it 's him. PROBATIONER. I don't hear a sound. CINDERELLA. I can hear him fanning his face with his helmet. He has come in such a hurry. Nurse, you watch me being cruel to him.

  PROBATIONER. At him, Cinderella, at him ! DANNY (flinging open the door). The Con stabulary's carriage stops the way.

  (Our POLICEMAN stalks in, wetting his lips as he does so.)

  PROBATIONER (giving him her hand). How do you do ? You forget, I dare say, that I met you when you were here last ; but I remember * our policeman.'

  (He is bashful.) There she is.

  (The wicked invalid is looking the other way.) POLICEMAN. A visitor to see you, Jane.

  A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 129

  CINDERELLA (without looking round). I thought it had a visitor's sound. (She peeps at the PRO BATIONER gleefully.)

  POLICEMAN (very wooden). You don't ask who it is, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA. I thought it might be that great big ridiculous policeman.

  (DANNY laughs, and our POLICEMAN gives him a very stern look.)

  POLICEMAN (after reflection). I 'm here again, Jane.

  CINDERELLA (admitting it with a glance). Perhaps you didn't ought to come so often ; it puts them about.

  POLICEMAN (cleverly). But does it put you about, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA. Hey ! Hey 1 (With a cunning waggle of the hand she intimates to the NURSE that she may go.}

  DANNY (who is not so easily got rid of). You had best be going too, Robert. The lady has answered you in the negative.

  POLICEMAN (lowering). You make a move

  there.

  i

  130 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA

  (DANNY, affecting alarm, departs with the

  PROBATIONER.)

  CINDERELLA. I like fine to hear you ordering the public about, David.

  POLICEMAN (humbly}. I 'm very pleased, Jane, if there 's any little thing about me that gives you satisfaction.

  (He puts down a small parcel that he has brought in.)

  CINDERELLA (curious). What 's in the parcel, David ?

  POLICEMAN. That remains to be seen. (He stands staring at his divinity.)

  CINDERELLA (sneering). What are you look ing at ?

  POLICEMAN. Just at VOU.

  CINDERELLA (in high delight). Me ? There 's little to look at in me. You should see the larder at the Home. You '11 have a cup of China tea and some of this cake ?

  POLICEMAN. No, Jane, no. (In a somewhat melancholy voice.) Things to eat have very little interest to me now.

  CINDERELLA. Oh ?

  A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 131

  POLICEMAN. I 've gone completely off my feed.

  (CINDERELLA would have liked the PROBA TIONER to hear this.)

  CINDERELLA (artfully). I wonder how that can be 1

  POLICEMAN. Did you get my letter, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA (calmly). I got it

  POLICEMAN. Did you did you think it was a peculiar sort of a letter ?

  CINDERELLA (mercilessly). I don't mind no thing peculiar in it.

  POLICEMAN. There was no word in it that took you aback, was there ?

  CINDERELLA. Not that I mind of.

  POLICEMAN (worried). Maybe you didn't read it very careful ?

  CINDERELLA. I may have missed something. What was the word, David ?

  POLICEMAN (in gloom). Oh, it was just a small a ffair. It was just a beginning. I thought, if she stands that she '11 stand more. But if you never noticed it (He sighs profoundly.)

  CINDERELLA. I '11 take another look

  132 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA

  POLICEMAN (brightening). You 've kept it ?

  CINDERELLA. I have it here.

  POLICEMAN. I could let you see the word if it 's convenient to you to get the letter out of your pocket.

  CINDERELLA. It 's not in my pocket.

  POLICEMAN. Is it under the pillow*?

  CINDERELLA. No.

  POLICEMAN (puzzled). Where, then ?

  (CINDERELLA, with charming modesty, takes the letter from her bodice. Her lover is thunderstruck.) What made you think of keeping it there ?

  CINDERELLA. I didn't think, David ; it just came to me.

  POLICEMAN (elate). It 's infallat/ble ! I '11 let you see the word.

  CINDERELLA (smiling at the ridiculous man). You don't need to bother, David. Fine I know what the word is.

  POLICEMAN (anxious). And you like it ?

  CINDERELLA. If you like it.

  POLICEMAN. That emboldens me tremendous.

  CINDERELLA. I don't like that so much. If

  A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 138

  there 's one thing I like more than any other thing in the world

  POLICEMAN (eager). Yes ?

  CINDERELLA. It 's seeing you, David, tre mendous bold before all other folk, and just in a quake before me.

  POLICEMAN (astounded). It 's what I am. And yet there 's something bold I must say to you.

  CINDERELLA (faltering genteetty). Is there ?

  POLICEMAN. It '11 be a staggering surprise to you.

  (CINDERELLA giggles discreetly.) I promised the Doctor as I came in not to tire you. (With some awe.) She 's a powerful woman that.

  CINDERELLA. If you tire me I '11 hold up my hand just like you do to stop the traffic. Go on, David. Just wait a moment. (She takes off his helmet and holds it to her thin breast.) Here 's a friend of mine. Now ?

  POLICEMAN (despairing of himself). I wish I was a man in a book. It 's pretty the way they say it ; and if ever there was a woman that i*

  134 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA

  deserved to have it said pretty to her it 's you. I 've been reading the books. There was one chap that could speak six languages. Jane, I wish I could say it to you in six languages, one down and another come up, till you had to take me in the end.

  CINDERELLA. To take you ?

  POLICEMAN (in woe). Now I 've gone and said it in the poorest, silliest way. Did you hold up your hand to stop me, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA. No.

  POLICEMAN (encouraged)* But I Ve said it. Will you, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA (doggedly). Will I what ?

  POLICEMAN. Do you not see what I 'm driving at?

  CINDERELLA. Fine I see what you 're driving at.

  POLICEMAN. Then won't you help me out ?

  CINDERELLA. No.

  POLICEMAN. If you could just give me a shove. CINDERELLA (sympathetically). Try Badgery. POLICEMAN (brightening). Have you for-

  A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 135

  gotten that pool in Badgery Water where the half-pounder used No, you never was there ! Jane, the heart of me is crying out to walk with you by Badgery Water.

  CINDERELLA. That 's better !

  POLICEMAN. I would never think of compar ing Mrs. Bodie to you. For my part I think nothing of uppers. Feet for me.

  (She gives him her hand to hold.) My dear.

  CINDERELLA. You said that was only a beginning.

  POLICEMAN. My dearest.

  CINDERELLA (glistening). I 'm not feeling none tired, David.

  POLICEMAN. My pretty.

  CINDERELLA. Hey ! Hey ! Hey ! Hey !

  POLICEMAN. I don't set up to be a prince, Jane ; but I love you in a princely way, and if you would marry me, you wonder, I '11 be a true man to you till death us do part. Come on, Cinders. (Pause.) It 's the only chance that belt of mine has.

  CINDERELLA. No, no, I haven't took you

  136 A KISS FOR CINDERELLA

  yet. There 's a thing you could do for me, that would gratify me tremendous.

  POLICEMAN. It 's done.

  CINDERELLA. I want you to let me have the satisfaction, David, of having refused you once.

  POLICEMAN. Willingly ; but what for ?

  CINDERELLA. I couldn't say. Just because I 'm a woman. Mind you, I dare say I '11 cast it up at you in the future.

  POLICEMAN. I '11 risk that. Will you be
my princess, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA. You promise to ask again ? At once ?

  POLICEMAN. Yes.

  CINDERELLA. Say I do.

  POLICEMAN. I do.

  CINDERELLA (firmly). It 's a honour you do me, policeman, to which I am not distasteful. But I don't care for you in that way, so let there be no more on the subject. (Anxiously.) Quick, David !

  POLICEMAN. For the second time, will you marry me, Jane ?

  CINDERELLA (who has been thinking out the

  A KISS FOR CINDERELLA 187

  answer for several days). David, I love thee, even as the stars shining on the parched earth, even as the flowers opening their petals to the sun ; even as mighty ocean with its billows ; even so do I love thee, David. (She nestles her head on his shoulder.)

  POLICEMAN. If only I could have said it like that !

  CINDERELLA (happily). That 's just a bit I was keeping handy. (Almost in a whisper.) David, do you think I could have a engagement ring?

  POLICEMAN (squaring his shoulders). As to that, Jane, first tell me frankly, do you think the Police Force is romantical ?

  CINDERELLA. They 're brave and strong, but

  POLICEMAN. The general verdict is no. And yet a more romantical body of men do not exist. I have been brooding over this question of en gagement rings, and I consider them unroman- tical affairs. (He walks toward his parcel.)

  CINDERELLA. David, what 's in that parcel ?

  POLICEMAN. Humbly hoping you would have