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  “Do you sell beer?”

  “We're closing,” she replied.

  The prosecutor wanted to tell her not to stop working because of him. The tourist business would be very good for the restaurant, and in any event, his problem was not that serious. In fact, he was not even sure what “his problem” was, and it was not worthwhile for her to worry so much about it. But the pressure of those slim fingers on his and the odor of tripe coming from that small woman seemed to have sealed his lips. When the tourists left, Edith locked the door, put the prosecutor's plate in the refrigerator, and went out with him. They walked in silence to the prosecutor's house. Chacaltana remembered what it was like to walk down the street with a woman beside him, the feeling of four legs walking in rhythm, not like guards marching but with a free step, calm and slow. From time to time they smiled for no reason.

  “During Holy Week I'll work at the restaurant in the mornings too,” she said. “There'll be lots of tourists. You can come for breakfast if you want. Because you eat in the mornings, don't you?”

  “Call me Félix.”

  “I have a small farm with my cousins in Huanta. I work here now because the harvest is over. I'll come back next year.”

  “Every year.”

  “Every year. Time is like that here. Everything is repeated over and over again. Planting, harvesting …”

  “Maybe life can change. When somebody disappears, nothing is the same anymore. When somebody falls in love, nothing is the same either. Some things are forever.”

  “I hope so.”

  When they were in his house, the prosecutor offered her a mate. They sat in the living room to talk. The prosecutor wondered if her impulsive visit to the house was a sign she would end up in his bed. Then he realized he did not really want to go to bed with Edith, at least not that night. That night he felt like talking to her, being lulled by her voice and her patience, perhaps embracing her. That was all. At least, that was what he thought.

  “How did your parents die?”

  “It was the terrorists,” she replied.

  “It was a horrible time, wasn't it?”

  “I don't want to talk about it.”

  Nobody wanted to talk about it. Not the military, or the police, or civilians. The memory of the war had been buried along with its dead. The prosecutor thought the memory of the eighties was like the silent earth in cemeteries. The only thing everyone shares, the only thing no one talks about.

  “Do you go to visit your parents often?”

  “I go all the time. I feel alone without them. I've always felt alone.”

  “I still see my mother.”

  She smiled without understanding. He decided to show her what he had never shown anyone. Perhaps she would understand. He took her hand and led her to the back room. When he opened the door, her eyes lit up. The interior looked like a room from twenty years ago, the room of a señora with its mirror, its furniture of old wood, even the old-fashioned creams and colognes used by grandmothers. She walked around the room, touching everything gently, as if acknowledging the presence of his mother through touch.

  “This was her room?”

  “My house burned down when I was a boy. When I came back, I reconstructed her bedroom here just as I remembered it. It was pretty, wasn't it?”

  She did not answer. He asked himself if she would understand. He had never shown the bedroom to anyone. Perhaps it was a mistake to let her see it. It was like undressing in public.

  “She … is my strongest memory of Ayacucho,” he said.

  “It's as if she were still alive.”

  “She is … in a way.”

  Edith looked at the photographs.

  “And your father?”

  Prosecutor Chacaltana shook his head. He smiled as she admired the fabric of the sheets and the aroma of damp wood.

  “It's important to remember,” she said. “They remember us.”

  A warm breath emanated from the interior of the bedroom. The prosecutor knew that his mother liked this girl and welcomed her into her embrace, as if she were a new daughter. He approached the bed and kissed her. It was a gentle kiss, barely a brush of their lips. She did not resist. He repeated the gesture slowly, trying to grow accustomed again to the touch of someone else's skin. He took her hand and led her to the living room. It seemed disrespectful to kiss her in the bedroom. They lay down on the sofa in the living room and continued kissing gently, exploring each other. After a few minutes, he slipped his hand under Edith's blouse. She let him do so, embracing him. He lifted her blouse and lowered his head. He kissed her navel, her belly, and moved up until he was licking her breasts. They were small breasts, just like her, barely rising from her recumbent body. He felt a remote heat that had almost been banished from his memory. He continued moving up to her throat. Now she let him do what he liked without responding. The prosecutor noticed that he had an erection. He tried to move his hand below her waist. She stopped him firmly. Edith's eyes were half-closed but attentive. Perspiration beaded in the space between her upper lip and her nose, like a liquid mustache. She was trembling.

  “I'm sorry.” The prosecutor withdrew.

  “I don't want you to think badly of me afterward,” she said.

  He sat up. He was aware he ought to respect her and he did not know what to do. Solitude is dangerous. It accumulates until it becomes uncontrollable and explodes. He thought that in the end he would ruin everything. He wanted to offer her a mate. Perhaps an alcoholic drink would be better, but he did not have any. He spent several minutes trying to say something before too much time went by. He managed to articulate:

  “It's just that with you I feel less absurd. You're one of the things I don't understand, but the only one I like not understanding.”

  She smiled and kissed him. He accepted the kiss and returned many more but avoided touching her too much.

  The next morning, the prosecutor felt revitalized, happy: for the first time in a long while he had not had nightmares. As he crossed the parade of confraternities going to the Church of the Magdalena to prepare the vestments of the holy images for Friday, he felt that the city was recovering its life as they passed by. He reached the office earlier than usual, with a picture of his mother and an ID photo of Edith that she had given him the night before, toward the end, as he walked her home. He placed both images in a picture frame on his desk and opened the windows to air out the office. He happily greeted the embittered secretary of the Provincial Prosecutor and sat down to do some work.

  There was no work to do.

  Determined not to waste time, he took out the report on Edwin Mayta Carazo that he had put in the drawer and looked at it again. All in all, it did not say anything so terrible. A detachment of troops had carried out its normal routine duties ten years ago and then released the suspect. And that was all. Perhaps it might prove useful in subsequent investigations: everything indicated that this Edwin was part of the group harassing the police outpost in Yawarmayo. It seemed correct to have written it although there was no open case. Its effect had been positive and had eased his dreams, as he had hoped. He thought about his ex-wife. He realized her memory was beginning to disappear, to fade into oblivion. One needs a present in order not to have to think about the past. The prosecutor had one. That day it seemed to him that Ayacucho had one, that the city needed only a little more air, a little more light.

  As he hummed an old huayno that he recalled hearing his mother sing, he put the report back in its drawer and turned the key twice. He spent the rest of Thursday playing with the wad of paper, feeling that an enormous weight had lifted from his shoulders. When he left the office, the bands were beginning to play. In the churches they were burning broom while men walked through the streets with bulls that shot off fireworks. Fire bulls. Chacaltana smiled. For the first time in days, fire seemed to be an omen of celebration and joy.

  On Friday the 14th, at 5:30 a.m., the Associate District Prosecutor opened his eyes to the sound of excessively loud pou
nding at the door. He recognized the difference between blows from fists and blows from rifle butts. These were the latter. Without opening the door, he announced that he would dress and come out, but the soldiers insisted on coming in. With nothing to fear, the Associate District Prosecutor opened the door. There were three of them. Two were armed with FAL rifles. The third, an army lieutenant, carried a pistol at his waist. They were not aiming their weapons at him, but they indicated they were in a hurry. Commander Carrión's orders.

  The prosecutor barely had time to wash a little and go with them. They had him climb into a jeep, flanked by the two soldiers. He saw that their rifles did not have the safeties on. He preferred not to say anything. The jeep drove out of the city and went up Acuchimay Hill, heading for Huanta. The prosecutor saw dawn break near the Christ of Acuchimay, while he imagined at his back the city topped with tiles and surrounded by dry hills, even though the last rains of the season were still falling. Christ protected the city spread out at his feet. The prosecutor wondered if he would protect him too. He wanted to know where they were taking him.

  “Are we going to Huanta?”

  “You are not authorized to speak, Señor Prosecutor.”

  He was not authorized to speak. Like the inmate at the Huamanga prison.

  “Is it because of what happened at the prison? I used Commander Carrión's name to get in but … I know I committed an irregularity, but I believe he will understand … It was an official investigation …”

  “Señor Prosecutor.”

  “What is it?”

  “Be quiet.”

  He obeyed. Perhaps that had been his most imprudent act. A beginner's mistake. Certainly the commander would understand that. Perhaps he had simply read his report and sent for him to congratulate him. Yes. That was most likely. He had once called him “my trustworthy man.”

  They turned left onto an unpaved road and crossed a rocky terreplein that made the jeep bounce. They drove for another half hour until they stopped in front of a military reserve. After showing identification, they continued driving until the rough ground did not allow them to go on. They got out, holding the prosecutor by the arm. They walked, almost climbed the slope of a cliff where the prosecutor slipped several times and the soldiers picked him up with very little delicacy. The prosecutor knew there were no barracks nearby. He did not understand where they were taking him. When they reached the top of the hill, the prosecutor could see what was on the other side. An enormous hole ten meters across, hidden by the hills. A military cordon surrounded the wide pit. He knew without having to ask what was inside. On one side, directing the military detachment, was Commander Carrión. Someone told him the prosecutor was arriving. The commander looked very serious. The prosecutor tried to smile as pleasantly as he could.

  “Good morning, Commander. I was surprised by your summons …”

  “Come over here, Señor Prosecutor,” was all the commander would say. “Look at this.”

  The prosecutor looked up at the hole. His feet refused to move. He heard a rifle being cocked behind him. He took a few steps, very slowly, before he felt the shove that hurried him toward the excavation. Behind his feet he heard a pair of military boots advancing. He approached the huge hole and stopped a meter from the edge. He felt another shove. He was sweating. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his forehead. He dared to turn around. The commander was about twenty meters from him. He motioned for him to look in. Around him, the soldiers had moved out toward the hills that surrounded the hole, as if not to see. The prosecutor felt another shove. He wondered if it was a hand or the barrel of an FAL. He turned to see the face of the soldier who had come with him. The soldier was pale and muttered:

  “Turn around, damn it.”

  The prosecutor looked at the sky. The sky was clear, just a few black clouds in a corner, probably heading for Ceja de Selva. He looked down at the ground again. Slowly, he advanced a step and stretched his neck, looking into the circular blackness of the excavation.

  The spectacle inside disconcerted him. At first he thought he saw only boxes, old ruined boxes, surrounded by cloth rotted by time and earth. But then, what he had thought were rocks and earth began taking on a more precise form before his eyes. They were limbs, arms, legs, some semipulverized at the time of their burial, others with bones clearly profiled and surrounded by cloth and cardboard, black, earth-covered heads one on top of the other, forming a mountain of human remains several meters deep. One could not even see the end of this accumulation of bones and dry bodies. The prosecutor fell to his knees and vomited. As he threw up the little he had in his stomach, he realized he was in a perfect position to join the bodies down below, the nape of his neck exposed, offered to the rifles, his body leaning over the hillocks of death, his mind lost in some moment of time when everything was even more dangerous, asking himself how long it would take that time to finish dying, how much longer it would take the memory to disappear, the pain to be extinguished, the wounds to scar over, the eyes to close.

  He closed his eyes. It seemed that the bodies down there were mirrors that multiplied him into infinity. And he did not want to be multiplied.

  Suddenly, he felt a tug. It was the soldier who had brought him there. Now he was picking him up, perhaps to make him more comfortable. He thought about Edith. He thought about fire. But the soldier made him turn and retrace his steps. Almost holding his hand, or rather his arm, almost dragging him while his legs were not sure they could support him, he took him back to the jeep where the commander was waiting for him and deposited him in front of the officer, like a child who is left at the door of a school.

  “They found it last night,” said the commander. “The news came just as I was finishing your report. It's the second mass grave that has been opened in three days.”

  The Associate District Prosecutor did not know what to say. He looked at the grave again, almost as a gesture of comprehension. Now, a peasant woman was coming down one of the hills on the other side. She tripped and rolled toward the foothills but got up and continued climbing down. Three soldiers on that side moved to block her way. The woman shouted something in Quechua. The prosecutor recognized her. It was the woman who had opened the door for him in Quinua, the mother of Justino and Edwin, Señora Carazo de Mayta.

  “We've managed to keep the matter out of the press,” the commander continued, as if he had not seen her. The prosecutor looked at the officer. He had seen her, his dark glasses reflected her as she approached the edge of the pit. The soldiers took her by the arm but she pulled free and kept running and shouting. She reached the edge. She seemed to want to throw herself in. One of the soldiers pulled on her skirt. Another struggled with her, trying to drag her away. The woman refused to move. She seemed stronger than the three of them together. The third soldier took out a pistol. She did not see it. Her back was turned, she was concentrating on the grave, on her shouts. The soldier aimed his weapon at her back.

  “Let's go, Señor Prosecutor,” said the commander.

  The prosecutor could not look away from the woman and the soldiers. The commander put his hand on his shoulder. The prosecutor said:

  “Stop them, Commander.”

  But the commander said nothing, gave no order, did not raise his voice to his subordinates. Thirty meters away, the soldier continued to hesitate, holding his weapon while the woman threatened to throw herself, head first, in among the corpses. He aimed at her back, then at the back of her neck, then at her leg. The other two tried to hold her still. They shouted something at her. The prosecutor heard: “Get out of here, Mamacita, there's nothing here you should see.” The soldier with the weapon pointed the barrel at the sky. He turned to his companions. Then to the commander. The commander observed him but made no gesture. The prosecutor wanted to shout. Then he realized that nothing would change, that too many shouts serve only to hide the sound of shots. He held back his tears and said nothing. On the other side of the grave, the soldier put away his weapon and helped the other t
wo drag the woman outside the perimeter of the security cordon.

  “They would never kill a mother, Señor Prosecutor,” said the commander. “Sometimes fear makes them go too far. Sometimes they've even hit one. But they never kill them. They wouldn't do that even under orders. It's stronger than they are. It's a natural law. They can't.”

  Two other soldiers came over to help. They picked the woman up and carried her past the hills. When the prosecutor climbed into the jeep to go back to Ayacucho, her shouts could still be heard among the hills. Or perhaps not, the prosecutor thought, perhaps they were only inside his head, saturated in his memories.

  you behaved very bad, justino, you behaved very very bad. and i dont deserve it. i gave berth to you, i opened the black mouths of deth with you, and this is how you repay me. its not right, unnerstand? look in the mirrer, look at yourself. your a traiter.

  dont look at me like that. its not my fault. its not even my desision. blood makes us strong, it doesnt hurt us. even an idiot like you can unnerstand the strenth of what were doing. were creating a new world.

  but your weak. its normal. nobody can start a struggel and think hes going to win it very fast. unnerstand? itll take senturies, its allready lasted senturies. remembering is important. each life, each of the fallen, it piles up in history and dissolves in it, like tears in the rain. and its sap so that we can live, we who will die. its all the same to me, dont think its unjust.

  do you hear it, justino? that voice. yes, its your brother. hes calling to you. do you hear him? didnt you want to see him? hes here, with us. down here, look at him. dont cry justino, men don't cry. leest of all men who have done what you did, what we did. we shed blood instead of tears, justino, you damn faggot. you almost deserve to live because your life is a slow painful death, but ill save you the effert, yes i will. thats what comrades are for, right? thats what were there for.