Ruthless Read online

  What was even in these boxes? I pulled one down. Anything was better than thinking about Rand.

  I pulled the lid off and stared down. Inside was an old black and white photo, curled at the edges. A high school prom picture.

  I flipped it over to look at the back. Written in a female’s clean script were the words, “Adam and Maggie, Prom 1950” and a heart. My pulse picked up speed. I turned the photo back over and studied both their faces. The youthful exuberance there. Uncle Adam looked proud of the teen on his arm. Maggie was young and vibrant and looked bright and happy. She wore a strapless dress with a full skirt and had dark hair that fell in waves above her bare shoulders.

  My heart squeezed painfully. They looked so content, but their love had been doomed. Was it a Sheffield thing? Were we meant to fail at love? Were me and Rand just as doomed?

  I set the photo aside and looked back in the box. There were movie stubs. A man’s class ring on a chain. Letters. Should I read them?

  On one hand, it felt like an invasion of privacy. Uncle Adam never stopped loving this woman, the story he’d shared as fresh in my mind as when he’d first told me. He’d saved this box of memories of her until the day he died. On the other hand, maybe my witnessing their love would be an honor to those memories?

  Or maybe I just wanted to feel someone else’s pain instead of my own right now.

  I examined an envelope addressed to Uncle Adam in the same loopy scrawl as was on the back of the photo. The sender was Maggie Landing, and she’d sent it from Broomfield, Colorado.

  I inhaled sharply. So this was after their break up.

  With trembling fingers I pulled out the letter and opened it.

  * * *

  Dear Adam,

  * * *

  To honor my mate, I won’t write again, and I must ask that you please not write me back. I wanted you to know, though, that you were right. Leaving with my mate—even though discovering him was sudden and unexpected and frightening—has been the happiest decision of my life.

  I know I broke your heart, and for that I will forever be sorry. I will always treasure my memories of you, my best friend and my first sweetheart. But there’s no denying fate. Fate chose another male for me—I knew him the moment I caught his scent. He makes me unbelievably happy. My wolf is happy, I’m happy. Our love grows and blossoms more every day. I’m getting used to living with his pack, and I’m already pregnant with his pup. Forgive me if this news is painful to you—that was not my intent, I only write to reassure you that I’m content, and I hope you can be, too.

  Thank you for supporting me always, even—especially—in letting me go to be with my fated mate.

  I hope someday you’ll find your version of a fated mate. The love that only grows.

  * * *

  Best wishes,

  Maggie

  * * *

  I sniffed, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. Poor Uncle Adam. He fell in love with the wrong girl.

  But at least Maggie had found joy. It didn’t sound like some kind of pack-arranged marriage. It was the kind of attraction Rand described. What he claimed he had with me. One scent, and he’d known, just as Maggie had mentioned.

  The love that only grows. Was that what we had?

  Did Rand actually love me?

  He’d said what he felt was just like love, but I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t a shifter, I didn’t feel it the same.

  The lone wolf howl sounded again. I jumped to my feet. It had sounded closer this time.

  Had he come for me?

  Remembering how he’d gone to the swimming hole that night of the full moon, I started running up the stairs. Was he there, waiting for me?

  It was probably irrational. Possibly stupid. But I felt like he might be there again. At my swimming hole. Where he’d shown me his wolf and gave me the gift of my violin back.

  Now, he was giving me space but watching over me in wolf form.

  He was letting me go but not leaving. He’d said he’d never leave. That was love. So was the way he winked at me. The way he showed up every day after work. How he’d fixed the broken step. Moved the spider from my bedroom and outside.

  It was so clear now. So obvious. He might not have said the words, but he’d shown me. Maybe that was more important. Actions didn’t lie. My parents actions were obvious, filled with anger. Hate. They resented each other, and it showed. It was clear there was no love between them.

  But Rand? Every single thing he’d done sprung from love. Maybe I’d been the one blinded by the wolf. So caught up in differences, limitations and the past that I’d lost sight of the rest of Rand. Of us.

  I grabbed a sweater and dashed out onto my porch, stopping to listen to the night sounds. Hoping to hear the wolf-song. My wolf-song.

  Somewhere nearby, I thought I heard a twig snap, and I startled, peering into the darkness.

  “Rand?” I asked. My voice sounded froggy from crying.

  A shiver of foreboding ran through me as I listened to the silence. I’d never been afraid at the house before, but I suddenly wished Rand was here.

  Another howl pierced the air. Rand! I was right! It was closer than before—not up on the mountain.

  I started running for the swimming hole, certain he’d be there.

  The issue of Rob asking Rand to talk to me about the B&B suddenly seemed overblown. It had made me feel like an outsider and question Rand’s intentions, but I should have given him a chance to explain. I shouldn’t have pushed and resisted and feared his commitment to me. It was the only thing I knew to be true.

  I stumbled over rocks as I ran through the darkness, wishing I’d brought a flashlight. But I couldn’t stop, couldn’t go back. A sense of urgency had come over me, and I couldn’t stop until I got to the swimming hole.

  I was desperate to find my wolf. To see Rand, and figure out how to make things right.

  25

  RAND

  * * *

  I’d promised the guys I was fine, swore I was going back to my cabin, but as soon as I got there, I’d stripped all over again, shifted and ran for Natalie’s place.

  Yes, I was violating pack law by being on human land, but this was Sheffield land. This was my mate’s land.

  And I didn’t give a fuck.

  I stopped on the ridge above the waterfall that cascaded into Natalie’s swimming hole and lifted my nose in the air. The sky was dark, darker than the last time I’d been here. I swore I could smell her, again, just like last time. My wolf hearing didn’t pick her up though. Natalie wasn’t here, and it was probably my mind conjuring her scent.

  Wishing she’d appear.

  I stilled. Sniffed. I also caught a scent I didn’t like. A scent of danger that had my fur standing up around my neck. Ruffled down my spine.

  A scent of… was that… lighter fuel?

  My head snapped up toward Natalie’s house and could see the orange clearly.

  Flames!

  No! Fuck, fuck, fuck. No!

  I was running before the thought had formed, racing down the side of the ridge, taking the back way to Natalie’s house.

  Her burning house.

  Fates, that place was a tinder box to begin with! Sure, there were fucking smoke alarms, but it was going to catch, and there was nothing to stop it. The volunteer fire department this side of the mountain was tiny. There weren’t any fire hydrants out here. Only well water, and even if they had a filled tanker, would it be enough to put out a house of her size?

  I didn’t give a shit about the house. I cared about Natalie. Was she inside? What if the smoke alarms didn’t work? What if the fire was too quick for her to get out? What if I couldn’t hear her over the alarms?

  I was sprinting as hard as I could, my mind coming up with the worst.

  The closer I got, the stronger the acrid smoke. Glass shattered as the fire sucked air in through the open windows. The downstairs was fully engulfed, the flames licking up the walls.

  I skidded to a stop and shifted, t
hen yelled for her.

  “Natalie!”

  I ran around the house, barefoot and naked, looking for her. Her truck was out front, which only made me panic more. She had nowhere to go but here, as I’d practically driven her back to this firetrap.

  “Natalie!” I bellowed.

  Fuck, I wished I had a cell to call the others, to get them here to help. But I thought I heard faint shouts from Wolf Ranch. They’d be here in minutes, too.

  I stilled my heart. Listened. I couldn’t hear her over the raging fire. I had no idea it made so much noise, that it was so hot even thirty feet away. My mate was in that house. I had to save her. I couldn’t wait another second.

  I had to save my mate or die trying because a life without her wasn’t worth living.

  26

  NATALIE

  * * *

  Rand wasn’t at the swimming hole. I stood there a moment listening, hoping to hear his howl again. I turned in a circle.

  And then I saw it.

  A red glow coming from the direction of my house.

  What the fuck?

  It took a moment for me to really believe what I was seeing. The house was on fire. My house was on fire!

  I debated for a moment whether I should run to Wolf Ranch for help or go back to the house to see if I could get anything out before it came down, when I heard Rand yelling my name.

  From the house.

  Oh God.

  Still out of breath from running here, I took off the way I’d come, racing back.

  “Rand!” I yelled back. “I’m here.”

  I could see the silhouettes of people running for the house. The flames were too bright to make out who they were, but I guessed they were all from Wolf Ranch. It was close enough for them to see the fire from the main house. God, with the way it was burning, the fire shooting from windows on both the first and second floors, it could probably be seen for miles.

  “Natalie!” This time it was someone else calling my name.

  “Rand!” I yelled although I was breathing so hard from running all the way back from the swimming hole. I looked for his head in the group but didn’t see him.

  “Natalie!” Several heads turned as I ran up, and Nash dashed over to me. He was soot streaked and sweating. Everything smelled like a campfire, and the heat was impressive. His hands settled on my shoulders, and he looked at me with wide, wild eyes.

  “God, are you all right?” he shouted over the hiss and crackle of the fire.

  I nodded, licked my lips. “I’m fine. I was up at the swimming hole and saw it.”

  “Rand! She’s here!” someone shouted.

  “We thought you were in the house.” Frowning, he threw another wild glance over his shoulder. “He thought you were in there.”

  My heart skipped a beat. “Rand? No! He can’t be inside?” I ran toward the house. “Rand!”

  Rob and Willow headed me off, Nash right behind me.

  “Tell Rand she’s here,” Nash shouted. I heard a different tone to his voice—fear.

  Rob’s whistle pierced the night, making me jump. The others rushed over.

  “Are you sure he’s in there?” I shouted, desperately clinging to any option other than the one I couldn’t accept. “It’s getting worse!”

  Rand was in the middle of that fire. Looking for me.

  “I heard him calling your name and saw him going in the kitchen door when we were running here,” Rob said, his voice grave.

  No.

  No!

  I ran toward the house, but someone caught me around the middle, pulled me back and into him. My feet came off the ground, thrashing. “No. You can’t go in there.” Rob. His voice was deep. Commanding.

  I didn’t give a shit.

  “Rand’s in there! He’s my mate. We have to save him!”

  “I’ll go in,” Nash yelled.

  “You can’t,” Rob shouted. “There’s no way in, and it’s going to collapse soon.”

  “No! Rand!” I screamed. “He’s mine. I love him, and I didn’t tell him. He needs to know!”

  I started to sob in Rob’s arms as I watched my house burn. I couldn’t imagine Rand inside. Needing help. Unable to escape because of the smoke. Or already burned. Dead.

  “I have to help him!”

  “You have to stay here. Safe. That’s what Rand would want.”

  “Save Rand! We have to save Rand!” I screamed, tears streaming down my cheeks. I fought to get free of Rob’s hold. “What am I going to do without him?” I sobbed.

  Cars were pulling up in my drive, more people piling out all around us.

  “It’s not over yet. He’s a shifter,” Rob said, still holding me back from surging in. “We’re hard to kill, and we heal spontaneously. But the same isn’t true for you. Do you understand? You can’t go in there.”

  I looked closer and realized the other shifters were trying to get in. They’d circled the house and were yelling to Rand that I was out.

  “Is he still alive?” I sobbed.

  “I don’t know,” Rob said grimly. “He could survive, if he can find his way out.”

  But that’s when the house groaned and collapsed, the upstairs over the kitchen first, then seconds later the other side of the house. Windows fell to the ground and shattered. Flames shot up into the sky now that there was nothing holding them back.

  Shifters leaped out of the way and scrambled out from the outskirts where they’d been trying to get in. Rob dragged me backward.

  I screamed and screamed, “Rand! No! Rand, please!” I doubled over, coughing and choking on the smoke and soot as I watched the two-story structure flatten.

  He can’t die.

  He can’t die.

  I love him.

  Oh God, I loved him so much. How could I have been so stupid, pushing him away at every turn? I’d been so afraid of getting hurt, I’d hurt us both. And now I’d never see him again.

  But Rob said he could survive. He just needed to find his way out.

  “Rand!” I shouted. “Rand. I’m out here! Rand!”

  Sirens wailed, getting closer. The fire department would show up, but there would be nothing they could do.

  “Rand!”

  And then, suddenly—miraculously—a huge wolf’s head emerged from the side of the house, as if he magically came through the stone foundation. No, from the coal chute!

  Fur gone in spots, skin black, the wolf scrambled out.

  Boyd and Levi ran forward and yanked him free of the rubble.

  Rob released me, and I ran to Rand. He bounded toward me, limping at first, but then bursting with energy, a joyful whine coming from his throat.

  “Don’t shift,” Rob barked at Rand. “Fire department just arrived.”

  “Rand,” I wept, dropping to my knees and sobbing. I stroked his fur, carefully. “Your fur. You’re burned everywhere.”

  “He’ll be all right,” Boyd said, appearing beside us. “His wolf will heal him quickly. I promise.”

  “He’s right,” Audrey said. “I’ll treat his wounds to satisfy myself, but it won’t be necessary. Their bodies have miraculous healing properties.”

  Charlie appeared with a sheet from the clothesline and dropped it at his feet. “In case he does shift,” she said.

  The firemen moved in, spraying down the flames although it was too little too late. No matter what they saved, it would have to be torn down.

  Levi took charge communicating with them as sheriff, explaining that I was safe, and no one was in the house.

  “Rand,” I croaked, my arms around the giant beast. He licked my face, tail wagging, still yipping and whining with joy. I laugh-cried. “I’m sorry, Rand. I’m so sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have doubted you.” Somehow it was easier to bare my soul when he was in wolf form, just like it had been easier to play violin for him that way. I could drop my defenses and say everything I truly felt. And now, I wouldn’t let anything keep me from saying the words. He was alive, and he had to know.


  “I got confused,” I confessed, tears streaming down my face. “I was stupid not to believe in your love. Or to think we were too different. I should have trusted fate.”

  From one second to the next, Rand shifted. I gasped at how horrific he looked in his human form, his burns angry and raw. I yanked the sheet over him, but Rob turned around from where he appeared to be guarding us while still giving us privacy and snapped, “Shift.”

  Rand instantly shifted back to his wolf.

  “I don’t want to have to explain a burn victim who miraculously healed to these firemen,” he said. “I told you to stay shifted.”

  Rand whined softly and laid his giant head in my lap.

  “I don’t care about the bed and breakfast,” I told him. “If it’s an issue for the pack, I won’t do it.”

  “We have a problem. I caught the scent of lighter fluid in the front,” Nash said to Rob. When we first got here. I just followed the scent, and there’s even a little in the driveway.”

  “Lighter fluid?” Rob repeated.

  Rand growled, low and menacing.

  “Wait… it wasn’t the wiring?” I looked up at Nash.

  “It was spilled on the front walk,” Nash explained. “If someone used it to set fire to the house, the scent would have burned off, but some dripped away from the house.”

  “You couldn’t save it, huh?” a loud voice came from where the firemen were gathered.

  “Nathan Brown,” Colton growled, stalking away in his direction. Levi was right on his heels.

  Rand’s lips curled back from his gleaming fangs, and he snarled. My heart beat faster.

  “I will fucking kill him if he’s responsible.” Rob’s hands clenched into fists at his sides.

  They thought that guy had done this?

  Boyd also stalked away, circling behind the group, toward the driveway.

  A few minutes later Boyd joined Colton and Levi and the group of firefighters with the older shifter. Boyd was carrying several bottles of lighter fluid. “Found these in the back of his truck.”