Somebody Worth It Read online

  I paid and tipped her good and headed back to the VIP section. I glanced around the room and noticed Millie was dancing with a group of people. Some were men, and I sure as hell kept my eyes glued to her. The way she swayed and moved her body was killing me, and it must be killing those guys out there. But it was killing me more. I downed my first beer. Chelsea and Don made their way over to the dance floor. Beth was practically in Bradley’s lap and I was content watching my wife dance her ass off. I wasn’t content letting the guys around her dance to impress her. But she was dancing alone, except for all those eyes all over her.

  I chugged my second beer and it started flowing in my system, giving me liquid courage. I grabbed one more beer from the bar and headed over to the dance floor. It finally made me loosen up a little to bust my moves out.

  I came up behind Millie, and she flew away from me. She turned to face me and grinded down on me. I could smell her perfume and, fuck, it turned me on. She knew what she was doing, always had. She had those fuck me eyes, and I was going to fuck her, you just wait.

  I started swaying my body with hers, my hands roamed all over her. Her dress was so tight it was flaunting it for me, but the alcohol was starting to flow through me, and it had me a little self-conscious thinking it wasn’t only for me.

  I stopped dancing. I needed more to drink or I was going to flip out. She had my nerves shot, and this was our last night to enjoy on this trip. I was going to enjoy it whether she liked it or not. Her eyes followed mine to the bar and quickly, she disappeared as I went out of sight.

  Millie

  I danced until I couldn’t dance anymore. Beth and Chelsea really could dance and showed me some great moves, moves that Brian wouldn’t ever see, since he’s been gone for so damn long. I thought about going to find him, but I’m sure I already knew where he was. At the fucking bar. I wasn’t going to let him ruin my night. I downed a few drinks that the other husbands had bought us. Sweat was forming, and the cramping was starting to come back a little. The dancing was wearing me out. My legs ached, and I was sore. It was nice of the men to buy drinks for me, since Brian wasn’t around. The girls started feeling bad, so they sat with me. We chatted about the night and of the people we saw in the club. There were definitely some lookers tonight.

  I decided to go find Brian. I moseyed my way over to the bar with a drink in my hand. My eyes widened in shock. I saw Brian sitting there pounding shot after shot and ordering more beer. I was pissed that he was spending the money, like I had a feeling he might be doing, but I was livid that his arm was strung around a woman sitting next to him as they laughed about god only knows what. Her lips trailed up and down his cheek before they shared an intimate kiss.

  I blew my fucking lid. Fire burned in me and boiling with anger I stomped up to him at the bar, grabbed his arm and flung it off the bitch. “Did you happen to notice his fucking wedding band, bitch!” I screamed at her, and she took off. Then I turned my fierce glare at Brian. “You better wipe that fucking smug smirk off your face, I’m done, Brian! I’m so fucking done!” I took the fortune of a ring off my hand and flung it at him while I watched his face slump down into a shocked but sad face. He was speechless. “Didn’t this ring mean anything to you? Seriously, we’re here to rekindle our fucking marriage, and you got your dick in a bunch and your arm around some slut trailing her drunken lips over your face. What the fuck is wrong with you?” I barked. The more I thought about the situation the madder I got. My face turned red. My stomach curled into knots as the realization of what I just said hit me like a ton of bricks. “I’m leaving!” I turned on my heel and walked as fast as I could.

  I couldn’t believe him! I couldn’t believe what I saw, how he acted, and the fucking grin that spread wide across his face! Over what? Because I didn’t suck him off in the hotel? Fuck him! What was this marriage turning into? Just when I thought things were getting back in place, he goes and does this shit! Didn’t the words that were said on this trip mean anything? The romantic gestures, the passionate love making, the re-fucking-proposal! I couldn’t take this shit! I couldn’t take him right then. I just couldn’t. I needed to re-evaluate my life. I needed to re-evaluate my marriage. A marriage that seemed like a fucking joke to him! I was fuming. My eyes hurt like they were going to bust out of the socket for being so upset. My body started to shake with overwhelming nerves. I couldn’t believe what was happening. He made me re-think everything he’d ever said this weekend. I didn’t care how big of a game he thought he was playing, he just ended the game for good.

  Chapter 7

  “Everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” -Bob Marley

  Millie

  When I got back to the hotel, I bawled my eyes out. Every ounce of love I had for Brian, was questioned. What was I doing? What were we doing? A husband, my husband, shouldn’t be doing that, shouldn’t want to do that. I’ve never had that feeling where you actually felt the stab go through the heart, until now. It really did make it hard to breathe. My body shook, because I was so damn broken over his actions that everything I thought about it, just made me shake. You’d think it was some medical problem with how bad my entire body vibrated while I cuddled up in bed to my pillow, the only thing that made me feel safe right then, the only thing that made sense hugging. I felt alone. I can’t believe he kissed the bitch. It would have had the same effect. I felt betrayed. Was it worth the ‘payback’ he thought he was going to get? I’m sorry I came into the room with you jacking off to porn and paid you back by leaving you hanging. There was no payback for what I’ve done. It doesn’t keep the train moving it stops with that. I guess it didn’t in his eyes.

  I needed to get out of the room. I was worried he’d come back to the room, and I didn’t want to deal with him tonight. I washed my face clean of makeup and changed into comfortable clothing. I headed down the stairs, instead of taking the elevator for the chance I might bump into him. Once I got to the main level, I headed out the back door. I needed to do some shopping for Kate and get souvenirs and some birthday gifts for her. Fuck him, I’m spending money to just piss him off at this point.

  Morning came, and he wasn’t in the bed next to me. Hell, I didn’t even know if he came back to the hotel last night. I wiped my eyes from the crust that sealed them shut from crying myself to sleep. His stuff was still here, but he was nowhere to be seen. Our flight was today, and I didn’t have time for this fucking mess. I got up out of the bed and headed for a shower. It wasn’t just your normal shower, it was the kind that washed away any kind of feelings you had that coated you with my give a damn’s busted. It thickened my skin and reminded me I’m not going to deal with this bullshit, at least not today. I couldn’t even think straight. I climbed out of the shower and packed our things. I didn’t know where he was, but I was leaving with our stuff whether he boarded that plane with me today or not.

  I had the bell boy help gather our things and bring them downstairs to the lobby. I probably looked like hell, or somebody with the devil in her eyes. I wore a hoodie and sweat pants, and my hair was thrown up in a messy bun on top of my head. I rocked my aviators and kept them on inside. I didn’t want people to see my red, blotchy eyes from all the crying I did last night. I turned from the front desk after checking out and there he was lounged on the chair. His shirt was unbuttoned, and his hair was ruffled, like he’d been running his hands through it over and over. There was redness in his eyes, that I’ve never seen before. I didn’t feel sorry, though. He did this shit to himself.

  I kept walking, and he got up to follow me to the Mustang. No words were spoken and we kept enough distance between us. I drove. He didn’t dare speak because he knew whatever he said, I’d have him crying ten times over on everything he shouldn’t have done. There was no fucking excuse this time. None.

  ~*~

  We arrived back home in Indiana after a long, silent, stressful flight. Welcome back to the world of cold, no sun, and fucking wind.

  We wer
e moving in just a matter of days now. Well, I’m not sure what my move would be. My mother picked us up from the airport and knew right away something was off. I thanked her profusely for all she did while we were gone and hugged her tight as she left us alone at our house—the house that I was broken just thinking about leaving. I decided I wasn’t going to deal with things right now.

  After I shoved the suitcases in the bedroom and unloaded everything in the laundry bins I brushed my hair out and sat on the edge of the bed. Brian stood in the doorway, and I looked up at him with a blank stare on my face. I didn’t have the emotion or words to give him right then. He ran his fingers through his hair and shifted his weight from foot to foot, contemplating the words to come out of his mouth. He opened his mouth a few times, but there were no words coming out. He covered his face with his hand and just walked out of the room. I made my way down the stairs and got in my car. I called Stephanie and took off.

  “Hey, girl! How was your trip! Details!” She screeched anxious to hear.

  “Hey. It sucked. Can I come by?” I cleared my throat. Cutting straight to the point of the bullshit, she knew with what I had said, I needed her.

  “Yeah, doors always open. I’m home.” She softened her voice.

  “See you there.” I ended the call and drove quickly to her place. I knew I only had an hour or so because Kate was going to need to be picked up from school.

  I pulled in her driveway and immediately started whaling. The freaking driveway made me cry. Knowing I wasn’t going to have one of these soon. It was the little things I never thought about. It was the things that I was so used to. How did it get to be this way? I got out of the car, and she opened the door.

  She looked just as tired as I was. She wore her red hair back in a slick pony tail and was dressed in jeans and a sweater.

  “Girl, you look rough. Come here.” She embraced me in a hug and squeezed me tightly. I let loose.

  We stood in the doorway inside her house for what felt like ever until I finally backed away. “I’m so confused,” I mumbled.

  “What happened?” She asked moving into the living room with me.

  We sat on her plush white couch and I faced her.

  “Things were great in the beginning. But I knew all good things would come to an end, eventually.” I glanced at her. I started fidgeting with my hands.

  “Go on.” She got more comfortable on the couch, pulling the blanket over her.

  “He took me on this beautiful sunset cruise, he re-proposed to me with this gorgeous ring! Then we saw a family of dolphins swim by, it was like right out of a fairy tale. It couldn’t have been more romantic." She glanced down at my hand with a confused look on her face, probably from not seeing the ring.

  I sighed. “The next morning I was in a horrible mood. He was pissed because I started my period well more for the fact he wanted to screw on my period and I wasn’t down for it. Seriously! Like I can help that! He acted like it ruined the whole trip. Yes, I was upset, too. I woke up crabby, but still. I was so angry! So I went for a swim alone to calm down. I figured when I got back to the room I could apologize for my over reacting, and I could convince him to go sightseeing some more with me. Boy was I wrong. I walked in on him jacking off to porn!” I huffed. “To other women! I was so hurt and angry I just went straight to the shower to cool off. I was going to put all aside and make love to him like he wanted, but he decided to resort to porn. Which we’ve always agreed not to have. Then he actually thought he could get in the shower and ‘show’ me he was sorry. That just pissed me off more, so I sucked him off and left him before he was finished. I told him he could finish what he started himself, since he was so good at it.” Stephanie was watching me, her full attention was on me and my story. I knew I was probably giving her TMI, but she was my best friend, and if she wanted to understand what I was going through, she had to know everything in honest detail. “So, later we head out to a club with some couples we met, I figured we could dance and have fun and just let things go. But Brian decided he wasn’t done playing payback. He left me on the dance floor and never came back. I mean, left me for like an hour! Finally, I go look for him and I find him at the bar with his arm around some bimbo, chugging shot after shot and laughing with her! With her lips on his freaking cheek! That he was clearly allowing! Then shared an intimate kiss. That did it for me.”

  She looked at me. “Oh, honey. What a scumbag.” She shook her head back and forth. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” Steph rubbed my leg. “What did you do?”

  “Threw his arm off her, yelled at him, threw the ring he just gave me at him, took off. It’s been nothing but silence since. No words from him. I don’t have any to give him yet. I want to pick up Kate today and just go to my Mom’s.” I shrugged my shoulders.

  “That bad?” she questioned.

  “Steph, it was like nothing from the beginning of our trip mattered to him. It was like he willingly threw our relationship away. It started out amazing and always turns to shit. He broke my fucking heart and stomped it down to the fucking ground. How am I supposed to forgive that? He did that because it was payback? I mean, what’s the other logic? If he did that just for payback, what was he doing when he’s mad and up and left the damn house from me? You can’t possibly think the amount of stuff going through my mind right now. I’m so fucking lost, I can’t think straight, Stephanie.” I sighed. More tears springing down my face.

  Stephanie got up and paced the room. I think her being my friend stressed her out, knowing she didn’t know the right words to say to me right now. It was a fucked up situation, and there was no easy way out. I knew whatever he had to say was just some excuse. There wasn’t an excuse for doing what he did, none. If I forgave him, it would be like forgiving a cheater who purposely cheated, condoning the action to be okay. He knew the consequence and still did it.

  “What if you came here and lived here till you figured out everything? Kate and Lesley love hanging out. It would be good for Kate. It would be good for you. I am here to help you. Chuck wouldn’t mind either.” She offered.

  “I can’t do that, Stephanie. I can’t ask you to rescue me. Brian and I have had this coming for a while now. He just kept putting the icing on the cake. We’re supposed to move into this condo in less than a week and I think I’m not going to go.” I pushed my lips together, and my cheeks scrunched. The tears just started to flow. Stephanie sat on the couch and wrapped her arms around me, holding me, cradling me to make me feel better. I didn’t think anything could make me feel better right then.

  “I’m going to go. I have to stop at the store and grab a pizza for dinner. I’m not cooking, and Kate will be hungry. Thank you for letting me come here and vent. I need to figure it out.” I half smiled, wiping the tears from my face.

  “You know I’m here for you one hundred and ten percent. You’re my best friend, and I’ll be here as much as you need me. You’ll get through this, and I’ll back you all the way on whatever you decide. The offer is still available to come here too, if you want.” She smiled and rubbed her hand up and down my arm.

  “Thank you. I’ll talk to you soon.” I grabbed my purse and headed out of the house.

  ~*~

  The grocery store was pretty empty. I walked through the aisles pushing the cart following my mental list, but I felt so lost. I was putting things in the cart, but I wasn’t paying too much attention. I leaned up on the cart and sighed. My mind raced. I knew it wasn’t going to reach a finish line anytime soon. After closing the freezer door I turned to place the pizza in my cart. I swung my cart around to head the opposite way down the aisle and bumped another cart in the process.

  “Oh my god, I’m so sorr—” I stopped. My eyes widened, and I swallowed a huge gulp. No fucking way. “Dean?” I smiled. “As in the Dean Parker?”

  “Millie Jankson.” He returned the warm smile. His glistening blue eyes stared at mine. I swear my heart skipped a beat. But why?

  “Millie Weaver, now,” I cho
ked out.

  “Wow, Millie, you look great! It’s so nice to see you. How long has it been? Fifteen years?” He raised his eyebrow with a questionable smirk.

  “Thank you, Dean. You do, too!” I stuttered. “I thought you moved away to California?”

  “I did. My um, grandmother passed away, and when I came back, I just felt I needed to stay back.” He let out a small chuckle.

  I frowned. I remember his grandmother. “I’m so sorry about Fran.”

  “It’s okay. She lived a long happy life.” He straightened his jacket. “So, what about you? What have you been up to? You’re married, I take it.”

  I stopped to think of how to answer him. I missed the guy. Maybe I should offer to catch up over drinks? Nah, that’d be cheesy.

  “Um, yes I married Brian Weaver from our class.” I sighed. “We have a daughter named Kate. She’s really great. What about you? Are you married?” I hesitated asking questions. I wasn’t sure if I was pushing myself.

  “No, not married. Almost once, but no. Look, we should catch up sometime.” He shrugged his shoulders. “What about coffee? You like coffee?”

  “Yeah, I like coffee.” I stood there fidgeting again.

  “What about Coffee Castle, tomorrow morning at, uhh, eleven?” he asked.

  “That sounds great. Tomorrow at eleven. I’ll see you there Dean!”

  I pushed my cart away and more thoughts raced through my fucking mind.

  “Millie!” he yelled. I turned around and looked at him. Trying desperately to hold my tears in. “It’s so good to see you. I’m glad I ran into you.” His all white smile beamed at me.

  “You, too!”

  I checked the items out at the cashier and hurried to the car. I was going to be late to pick up Kate. I just had to decide what all I wanted to tell Kate after she asked about our trip. I really wanted to tell her it was the best trip of our life and be done with it. But, I knew my upcoming decision of possibly moving to my mom’s with her would call bullshit on my story. I didn’t want to lie to her, but I wasn’t sure if I could tell her the whole story yet. I knew she’s almost fifteen years old, and she could handle it, but I didn’t think I could. I didn’t even know what I wanted yet. I hadn’t even talked or discussed anything with Brian. I was kind of scared at his reaction to the discussion. I thought I just needed to make it through the next twenty-four hours. We’ll talk tonight. Kate would have to wait on that discussion till I’m ready to open up about it to her. I was more worried about her and Ben than telling her about my marriage.