The Royal Treatment: A Crown Jewels Romantic Comedy, Book 1 Read online

  “So, very popular, then?”

  “Quite,” she says. “Had to beat the boys off with a stick.”

  “Well, better a rose should bloom late than not at all.”

  Her face turns a deeper pink. “So, how was your meeting?”

  “It’s over, so that’s about the nicest thing I can say about it.” I consider bringing the subject back around to her eating her greens, but I think better of it. “I finally had a chance to read your post from Monday.”

  “I’m sure you have something to say about it.”

  “Wildly inaccurate reporting. I was only given thirteen minutes to change before the luncheon, not seventeen.”

  She gives me a wry smile. “I’ll be sure to post a retraction.”

  “I should hope so.” I grin over at her. “Made me look like a bit of a loafer. Other than that one egregious error, I have to consider it a bit of a victory. You admitted that we’re a very hard-working bunch.” I emphasize hard-working in hopes that she’ll realize I’m not too different from her dream man.

  “I also said your work was, by and large, useless.”

  “Sometimes it is.” Did that just come out of my mouth?

  Her eyes light up. “Did you really just admit that?”

  “Admit what?”

  “I said your work was basically useless, and you said sometimes it is!” She laughs.

  “I did not. I said, ‘Some chimes are his.’”

  “What? That doesn’t even make sense!” Tessa bursts out laughing, and I feel unusually happy.

  “Some climbs are… bizz.”

  She hoots, almost falling out of her chair, and I laugh along at myself, and suddenly the world seems like a very nice, simple place to live. I know it can be nice at times, but it is not in any way simple. Not for me. Because here I am having the most fun I’ve had with anyone in a very long time, and it happens to be with a woman who’s made her living bashing my family. When the moment passes, I remind myself of the job at hand.

  “Do you ever have moments when the world seems to be spinning so fast that it feels as though it’s going to pop right off its axis and go hurtling through space?”

  “Yes! I know exactly what you mean.” Her eyes light up, and I feel a pang of guilt for using the information from her dating profile.

  “I don’t.” I try to brush off the nagging guilt while she laughs. When she stops, I give her a serious look. “Most days, I just wish I could find a way to slow it all down so I can take a breath and think before my life passes by without me having really enjoyed it.” Oh, I’m pushing it now, aren’t I? In for a penny, in for a pound…

  Tessa nods. “I can see why. You keep up a nearly impossible pace.”

  “It has to be possible. I’ve been doing it for years.”

  She tilts her head and stares for a moment. “Just because something’s been done one way for hundreds of years doesn’t mean it should continue.”

  “Ah, we’re back to progress versus tradition again, aren’t we?”

  “It would seem to me that you’re unhappy about a number of things with this life. Maybe a change would be a good thing for you, too. Imagine a life where you set your own course. You decide what you’re going to do all week.” Her eyes are wild with excitement, and I have to say it’s a tiny bit contagious.

  I know I came in here for a reason, but at the moment, I’ve completely forgotten what it was. “There are days when there is nothing I’d like more.”

  “So maybe,” she says, pointing one finger in the air, “just maybe, what would be good for the country, would also be good for you.”

  “What you consider good for the country, you mean. This may come as a shock, but I’m for progress, too.”

  “Just not the type I’m talking about.”

  I nod. “I don’t believe that everything new is, in fact, progress. Sometimes, we change simply for the sake of change, and it takes us back a few paces in our humanity. If we lost our throne, what would become of all those who depend on our help?”

  “You’d still be a position to help them.”

  “I suppose.” As I stare at Tessa, Arabella’s words about opening up come back to me. It might be worth a shot. Who knows? Maybe I’ll surprise myself and find there’s more to me than I think. “The thing is, I don’t know what I’d do with my life if I’m not doing this. And I know that’s not a reason to keep me or my family around, but if you could put yourself in my shoes for just a moment, I’m sure you could see why I would want to stop this from happening.”

  She gives me a sad smile. “I hate to tell you this, but everyone who’s about to lose their job feels this way. It’s never easy on anyone.”

  “Why should I be any different, right?” I do my best to keep my tone light.

  “Exactly.”

  “Because I am different.” I hold up my hand before she can protest. “Not because I was born to privilege or I’m more important than anyone else. But because the very purpose of my existence is to become the king.

  “When your parents decided to have children, it was so they could have a family to love. When you were born, they didn’t say, ‘We will spend every day preparing Tessa so that when the time comes, she will be the best blogger this nation has ever seen.’ They said, ‘Here is our perfect baby girl. I wonder what she’ll grow up to become? We’ll give her every opportunity so that she can live out her dreams, whatever they may be.’

  “Your parents got married because they fell in love. My parents got married so that my father could produce heirs. My very life itself is solely for the purpose of providing Avonia with the next in a long line of kings, to do my service for our country and one day rule in the name of my family… So, all that to say, I am different.”

  “I can’t even imagine what that must be like, but it sounds… very sad to me.” Her face softens and empathy pours from her and washes over me.

  Nope. This sharing thing is too much. If I keep this up, I’ll be a blubbering idiot within minutes. I shrug. “It’s not all bad. There are perks.”

  “Don’t do that. Don’t make light of what must be so difficult.” Her voice is so gentle, it’s painful.

  “I have no business feeling sorry for myself when I sleep in a palace at night and there are millions of people in the world without so much as clean water to drink.”

  “I don’t know. I’d say you do have cause to complain. Not very loud, mind you, or to the wrong people. But it’s okay to admit when you’ve been hurt.”

  Forget it. I’m done. This is too hard. “I should go get ready. I have to leave for a board meeting for the Children’s Hospital Fundraising Association in a few minutes.” I stand. “I actually wanted to see if you’d like to come along.”

  “I don’t think I could be ready in time.”

  “All right.” I turn but her voice stops me.

  “Arthur. When I lost my job, it was awful. I was a wreck, actually. I had no idea what I was going to do, but I had to pick up the pieces and get on with things fast. If it happens to you, you’ll at least have time to figure it all out.”

  “I’ll have my home and money, right?” I swallow hard. “I know that. I do. But the thing is that my life will have no purpose, Tessa. None at all.”

  Lifting her chin, Tessa says, “I disagree. I think you’re getting one’s life purpose and one’s occupation confused.”

  “In my case, they are one in the same.”

  “We aren’t defined by our occupation. We’re defined by our character.”

  “Certainly, but character doesn’t give one a purpose.”

  “Neither does occupation.” She sighs and shakes her head. “I’m worried that you’re pinning all your hopes on me, Arthur, but even if I did try to convince the nation that they should vote with you, should it come to that, I’m just one person. I can’t stop the world from spinning.”

  “I suppose not.” I stare at her for a moment, then decide to risk something I never thought I would. My pride. “Tessa, I ne
ed to ask you something, and as much as I hate to do it, it has to be you. You see, while you’re one of very few people willing to be brutally honest with me, you are, in actual fact, the only one who knows the first thing about life outside this palace. So even though you’ve led the charge to take my family down, I’m standing here with my hat in my hand asking for your help. If you were me, how would you turn this ship around?”

  She blinks in surprise. “You want my opinion?”

  “I do. As strange as it sounds, yours is the only opinion that matters right now.”

  Tessa watches me for a moment before she speaks, and I can tell she’s struggling with whether or not to help me. Finally, she says, “Okay. Here’s what I would say is your family’s biggest failing. You’ve done a very poor job of letting the people know who you are. We have a vague idea of what you do for Avonia and the realms, but there is a human component that’s missing. The public has been given the impression that none of you believe you are accountable to us, which frankly does far more damage than good.

  “If it were me, I’d try to open up and share more of who you are. Not just giving yourselves pats on the back for charity done, but let people in on the little moments that make you human. At the end of the day, that’s what earns trust and adoration.”

  “That’s a very hard thing for someone like me to want to do. People can’t hurt you with what they don’t know.”

  “Sure they can. When there’s a gaping hole in our collective knowledge, it’s human nature to try to fill it.”

  I sigh. “And they don’t always fill it with nice things.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Thank you, Tessa. I’m truly grateful that you would share your wisdom with me.”

  The door opens to the solarium, and Vincent says, “Found him,” into his walkie-talkie.

  I take a deep breath and follow him out. As the door closes behind me, I realize that I’ve just been given the last advice I want to take. To do more of this ‘open up and bleed’ business.

  Sixteen

  A Cautionary Tale from the Camera Operator’s Union

  Tessa

  I’m standing in what is known as the gold drawing room, and I can tell you the room lives up to its name. The couches are white with gold trim, the tables, gold. The curtains–guess what? Also, gold. The sun pours in through the window as I set up my camera on a tripod to tape the first in a series of crap interviews designed by idiots and conducted by me (quite possibly an even bigger idiot, since it was my idea in the first place).

  I practice reading the questions aloud while not glaring. Then I check my watch. Arthur is set to be here in five minutes, and the live feed on Facebook will start in exactly seven minutes. The fact that the interview will be live gives true transparency, since the viewers will know we didn’t edit anything out.

  Although, it also means that if I fuck anything up, it’s live and will be out in the world forever. I’m cold-sweat nervous. I shake my hands and breathe deeply. No big deal, I’m only about to have my first exclusive interview of my career with a major, internationally known celebrity. And I’m going to ask him if he wears boxers or briefs. I take a deep breath and hear the sound of the door.

  “Knock, knock.” Prince Arthur strides in, dressed in a light grey suit. He’s wearing a blue tie that brings out those amazing eyes of his.

  I’m dumbstruck for a moment before I force my tongue into action. “Good morning. Are you all ready for the big interview?”

  “Looking forward to it.” He grins. “I have to confess, I peeked at the Reddit forum to get an idea of the calibre of questions I’d be facing.”

  “Hard-hitting stuff, I know.” I roll my eyes.

  “Apparently, I have a few fans out there still.”

  “Apparently,” I say. “I know the questions aren’t exactly cerebral, but I suppose it’ll give you a chance to show the people your fun side.”

  “It seems they’re more interested in seeing my backside.” He points to the chair positioned across from the camera. “Right here?”

  I nod. “This shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.”

  “I have twenty-three minutes slotted for this, so we should be fine.” He sits down and checks his tie, and gives his jacket a sharp tug. Unlike me, this is not his first interview. He picks up the mic that is on the table next to the chair and fastens it to his tie (which is kind of a shame because I was sort of definitely hoping to do that for him). God, Tessa, you’re pathetic.

  “It’s a live feed, so I’m going to sit next to you and control the camera via remote.”

  “Excellent.” The smile on his face is nothing short of devious.

  I stand behind the camera, focusing in on his face. His gorgeous, impossibly handsome, could-turn-a-girl-to-a-puddle-just-by-looking-at-her face. Huh, this whole camera thing could work for me. I can stare freely without seeming creepy. Yes, Tessa the pathetic stalker has a plan.

  “Okay, are you ready, Your Highness?” I sit down, mic up, smooth out my skirt, and take one last deep breath.

  “Yes.” He nods, then says quietly, “Don’t worry. You won’t fuck up.”

  “Camera is rolling… now.” My cheeks heat up at his encouragement, and now I’m all tingling and warm right when I need to be cool as a cucumber. “Good morning, Prince Arthur. I’d like to thank you for agreeing to this series of ‘Ask Me Anything’ interviews.”

  “Thank you for setting this up, Ms. Sharpe. It’s a rare opportunity to face questions directly from the public like this, so I’m looking forward to what I’m sure will be a worthy challenge. I’d like to make one request, however. Everything you ask me, I’d like you to answer as well.”

  I freeze up and turn to him with my mouth hanging open like an idiot. Live feed. Great idea. I manage to close my mouth quickly and purse my lips together for a moment. “I’m sure your public will much rather spend the time learning about you, Your Highness.”

  “I beg to differ. You’re quite a celebrity in your own right.” He grins at me, then the camera.

  I plaster a fake smile on my face, even though I’m ready to ring his royal neck. I stare at the lens, my heart now so far lodged into my throat that I am unable to speak.

  Arthur can, however. “Come on, Ms. Sharpe. Show the people your fun side.”

  “Okay, then. We’ll start with the fifth most upvoted question and make our way to number one.” I glance down at the paper in my shaking hand. “Question five received three thousand two hundred and twelve votes: Has Prince Arthur ever considered that he might find love with a common girl, like, say a girl named Denise who works at the One Stop over on Broadmoor Street?”

  Arthur smiles into the camera. “Seems like people are really rooting for Denise at the One Stop. Denise, I’m sure if we ever met, you’d be an absolute heartbreaker. As to the question of finding love with what you call a common girl, I find that hard to imagine, since almost every woman I’ve met is nothing short of a goddess.”

  Oh, I am not even going to hide my disgust right now. I’m just going to wear it for everyone to see. “Thank you,” I say through gritted teeth. “That was nothing short of patronizing.” I turn to the camera. “So, Denise, if you’re out there watching this, he’s all yours, love!”

  Arthur cocks his head toward me with a smirk. “So, Ms. Sharpe, have you ever considered that you might find love with a common boy, or girl, for that matter?”

  I glare at him. “Someday, I hope to find a nice fellow, yes. Preferably, someone who lacks arrogance and cares about important issues, like the environment and human rights.”

  “Do you mean to suggest anyone but me? Because I assure you I do care about important issues, both globally and locally. I sit on the board of three dozen charities, actually, and my family supports over two thousand more each year, providing millions in fundraising dollars each year. Without our work, many of them would have to shut down.”

  “I’m sure that’s true, but you’d still not make a good candidate as
far as I’m concerned.”

  “Oh, the arrogance thing.” He looks directly into the camera. “She’s a real nut-buster, this one.”

  Son of a bitch. He certainly knows how to make the most of this opportunity. Glancing down at my paper, I see the only hard-hitting question on the list is next. And it’s not even cleverly worded. “Question four has four thousand ninety-eight votes. ‘Why don’t you all just get jobs and stop sponging off all of us poor people?’”

  The prince nods once, a conciliatory gesture. “I can see how some may view my family as leeches on society—I believe those were your words. But I would like to point out that my family provides very good jobs for over twelve hundred people each year. They have full benefits, nicely padded pensions, and enjoy job security that is hard to come by these days. In addition to this, and our charity work, I believe we have an important place in protecting the people through our veto power in Parliament. It’s not often that the monarchy exercises it, but on the occasion that we have, we’ve found the people were glad to have us act on their behalf. There was that whole matter of the bill to remove a woman’s right to file for divorce back in nineteen seventy-four. My grandfather stopped that in its tracks.”

  “Yes, but that was over forty years ago. What have you done since then?”

  “While it’s true that we haven’t had to step in for a long time, I believe that the knowledge that we are here to do so keeps our government leaders in check in some ways.”

  Damn, he’s smooth. He doesn’t even look a bit ruffled. And that was the best thing I had.

  He smiles into the camera. “I suppose I can’t ask you the same question, really, since you’re self-employed.”

  “Correct, it would make even less sense than the last one.” My turn for a smug smile. “Question three has just over five thousand three hundred votes. What workout does the prince do to stay in such incredible shape?”