Fool and Her Honey (9781622860791) Read online

  They both looked at me.

  “What do you mean?” Candis asked. “Like, has it and won’t give it back?”

  “Yep. I think he confiscated it.”

  “You probably just left it somewhere,” Celeste suggested.

  “No. I know exactly where I left it, in the house, in the kitchen. I know I did because I had to call Ms. Maybelle and let her know I was running a few minutes late for her appointment.”

  “So what happened? It was just gone when you went back to get it?” Celeste asked.

  I explained how I sent Bertrand back to get it and how he claimed it was nowhere to be found.

  “Yeah, he got that phone,” she added.

  “But it doesn’t make sense for him to keep it,” I pointed out. “Even if he wanted to go through it.”

  “He’s going through all your stuff for sure. Just get a new one.” Candis waved her hand. “Did you have insurance on it?”

  “No, and I can’t afford a new one.”

  “How the hell you gonna go to Paris and you can’t afford to get a new cell phone?” Celeste asked with crinkled brows.

  She found this hilarious, but I found no humor in it; it was the truth. She had a point, though, and I realized how ridiculous it sounded. If Bertrand could afford to spend ten grand on a destination wedding, then as his fiancée, I shouldn’t have an issue with finances. At the same time, I still didn’t feel comfortable asking Bertrand for money. It felt like I was giving up my independence. If he bought me a phone, then he’d probably feel like he had the right to go through it whenever he felt like it. I had nothing to hide, but I couldn’t go for that.

  “I could see him being curious and going through it, but why would he keep it, though? That doesn’t make sense.” Candis shook her head.

  “’Cause Dina be ignoring his phone calls, and not calling him when she leaves the house and all that. You know how he is. He gotta keep tabs on her.”

  “Shut up, Celeste,” I said, wincing. It sounded too much like the truth.

  “He said if you ain’t gonna call him, your ass ain’t calling nobody!” Celeste laughed again.

  We all did, but inside I was processing that thought. It was hard to admit, but that was what it felt like. Even though I knew exactly where I’d left my phone that day, I still looked all around the house for it, to no avail. I’d finally gotten out of the contract with my cell service provider, and I did not want to sign another contract just to get a free phone that didn’t even need replacing. Bertrand just needed to give me my phone back. It had been three days; that was plenty of time to review my contacts, text messages, e-mails, and everything else. On top of that, who knew how many appointments I’d probably missed and all kinds of important business from people not wanting to leave a message? It was just inconvenient to be without my phone. I hadn’t actually accused Bertrand of stealing my phone, but the more I thought about it, the more I was ready to ask him about it once I got home.

  “Hey,” I greeted, finding him in the kitchen, preparing some dinner. I picked up an apple and began munching on it, walked over to him, and pecked his cheek.

  “Hey, honey. You hungry?”

  “Where’s my phone?” Dinner wasn’t important to me right now. I leaned back against the counter and waited for an answer.

  “What are you talking about?” He turned his attention away from the stove and looked to meet my eyes.

  “I want to know what you did with my phone,” I demanded, convinced that he had it.

  “I don’t have your phone!” he exclaimed, with an expression that suggested his innocence and that he thought I was crazy.

  “I know I left it in the kitchen.”

  “Babe, I told you, when I looked in here, I didn’t see it anywhere. I have no idea what you did with it.”

  We stared at each other for several seconds, not saying anything. It just didn’t make sense that my phone would just dissolve into thin air. He had to have it. I’d just have to replace it.

  “Well, I need a new phone. I haven’t had my phone in three days, and I’m probably missing all kinds of calls. I don’t want to sign a new contract, so I’m going to need about four hundred dollars.”

  Bertrand looked at me like I had just started speaking a foreign language. “Four hundred dollars, babe?”

  “I don’t want to go back under contract for another two years just to get a phone for free. I’d rather just replace the phone since it’s been abducted by aliens or something.”

  “I’ll just add you to my plan, then, and you can get a phone for free. We don’t need to spend that money unnecessarily, especially if we’re trying to go to Paris or somewhere.”

  I paused for a minute in thought. If Bertrand added me to his plan, I probably wouldn’t have to pay a cell phone bill again, but he would be all in my business with tracking phone calls and ordering text message reports and stuff. I didn’t have anything to hide, but I couldn’t see myself just submitting myself to scrutiny like that. It just didn’t feel right.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I shook my head. “I’ll just replace it.”

  “You don’t need to do that. Just get on my plan. That resolves all issues. You’ll have a new phone, you won’t be under contract, and it won’t cost anything.”

  Picking up the cordless phone in the kitchen, I refused his offer. “No, don’t worry about it. Let me just call them.”

  While he stood sautéing pieces of chicken breast, I took a seat at the kitchen table. I called my service provider, did some negotiating for a better service plan, and agreed to a new contract in exchange for a new device. I hated that I had to do that, but I wasn’t going to let Bertrand manipulate me with some hidden phone trick. He knew exactly where my phone was and didn’t plan to give it back to me.

  I happened to be off the next day and was home when the UPS guy brought my replacement, and within the hour I was up and running again. Coincidently, it wasn’t even two days later when Bertrand came in the house after work, having magically found my phone.

  “Look what I found sitting outside on the sidewalk right in front of the door.” In his hand was my old device.

  “Oh.” I shrugged. It didn’t make a difference at this point.

  “So how did it get there?” I heard accusation in his tone of voice.

  “Who knows?” I was busy reading status updates on Facebook and was less than interested. Candis and SeanMichael had a whole bunch of mushiness going on between their two profile walls that was a whole lot more interesting than this lie Bertrand was trying to sell me. I knew good and well, he didn’t just find my phone lying outside in front of the door after almost a week.

  “Nobody’s been over here?” he asked, sounding like he was suggesting foul play on my part.

  “Nope.”

  “I want to know how somebody knew it was your phone and to leave it on this doorstep.”

  “Because the somebody that’s claiming he found it had it all along,” I started to say but decided not to engage. It wasn’t worth me even getting upset about.

  He walked over to where I sat on the couch with my laptop and handed it to me. I took it without looking, dropped it on the chair, and kept doing what I’d been doing. In my peripheral, I could see Bertrand standing with his hands on his hips, like he was waiting for me to explain or react.

  “What?” I asked after he didn’t move after a minute.

  “So who had your phone, Dina?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t care.”

  “You gotta know something,” he insisted.

  “All I know is I left the phone in the kitchen, and coincidently, you find it outside, after I replace it.”

  Seeing he was getting nowhere, he turned and left the room.

  “Somebody left it outside the door, yeah, right,” I uttered.

  He stole my phone, plain and simple, and then tried to insult my intelligence by acting like he had nothing to do with its disappearance. What kind of fool did Bertrand take me for? Ski
p Paris. I could see right now this wasn’t going to work out so good.

  Chapter 28

  Candis

  It had been ten days since SeanMichael and I last talked, and I was determined that no matter how much I missed him, I wasn’t going to make the first move, and I sure as hell wasn’t apologizing. What I was doing, however, was watching the calendar, as I had determined that if I hadn’t heard from him in two weeks’ time, I was calling off the wedding. Obviously, he couldn’t take me at my word and believe what I’d said, and I refused to put myself in a marriage situation where trust was not present.

  SeanMichael finally did call on day eleven, and my heart did skip a beat, but I answered my phone nonchalantly, as if I didn’t care if he’d called or not.

  “Babe?”

  “Yes,” I answered, as if he were bothering me.

  “This week’s been hell without you.”

  “Mmm-hmm,” I mumbled.

  “How are you doing?”

  “Fine,” I blurted, keeping my answers short.

  “Well. I’ve been thinking so much about you over the past few days, and I miss you.”

  Was he expecting me to say that I missed him too? It wasn’t going to happen.

  “What were you thinking?” I said instead.

  “I was praying about our last conversation, and I know that I don’t have any reason to not trust you. I got a little bit shaken because I can’t be there with you, and I don’t like that Russell has access to you and I don’t.”

  “Me and Russell are through, SeanMichael. I’ve told you that.”

  “I know, babe, but I guess I can’t help being jealous, because you’re beautiful and I love you. No man wants the woman he loves to be sought after by another man.”

  “But I’ve already told you about Russell and that he doesn’t want me. He’s engaged.”

  “I just got a little confused with my feelings, babe. It’s not you that I don’t trust. It’s Russell that I don’t trust, but I took it out on you, and I’m sorry.”

  “SeanMichael, if I had something to hide, I would have never told you.” That was why he would never find out about those earrings.

  “I realized that after I thought about it, babe. I know you could have kept that whole thing to yourself, but you trusted me enough to share it with me, and in return I insulted you, instead of trusting you back and trusting you more. Please forgive me.”

  “You hurt me when you said what you said.”

  “I know I did, babe. I was just angry and frustrated, and I was wrong.”

  “So how do you expect me to be able to share my day with you if you’re going accuse me and get mad about what I tell you?”

  SeanMichael let out a pensive sigh. “I guess I wouldn’t be able to expect much, and I don’t want that kind of relationship where my wife can’t share her day with me and is afraid to tell me what’s going on. I reacted without thinking, babe. That’s all. And I’ve been crazy out of mind thinking about you for the past few days, and just missing you from my life.”

  He was saying all the right things, and I liked it.

  “If you will forgive me, I want to move forward with our wedding plans. I love you and need you, Candis. We’ve come too far to let somebody who means nothing tear apart what we’ve worked so hard at. It’s nothing but the devil trying to fight us at the last minute, and I refuse to let him win, and the only way he can win is if you don’t help me fight.” He paused for a second, then asked, “Will you help me fight, Candis?”

  “Can you trust me moving forward?” I asked, not wanting to give an immediate yes.

  “Baby, I choose to trust you. I can’t be there right now, but I choose to trust you, and I promise you, this will never happen again if you give me another chance.”

  I let a smile come through my voice. “You sure about that?”

  “I’m positive. I can’t live without you, and I don’t want to try.”

  “Let’s fight together, then,” I finally said, accepting his apology.

  “I love you, baby.”

  “I love you too,” I said, reciprocating.

  We stayed on the phone for another two hours, catching each other up on what we’d missed from not speaking in over a week, including new wedding ideas. When the call ended, I was excited that we were back together, but damn, I felt guilty about those studs.

  Oh well. What SeanMichael didn’t know wasn’t going to kill him.

  Chapter 29

  Celeste

  I couldn’t believe Candis had us in the bridal store, trying on gowns. Even more I couldn’t believe that she was actually planning to marry this dude. She was grinning like she was ten years old and it was Christmas morning when Dina came out of the dressing room in the dress she chose for us.

  “It looks so good on you.” Candis beamed as Dina pretended to glide down an imaginary aisle, holding an invisible man’s arm with one hand and a bouquet of flowers that were just as invisible in the other. My stomach was turning flips at the site of this mess.

  “Okay, Celeste! Your turn,” Candis said, now smiling as big as she could at me. “Go put yours on.”

  I let out a sigh that I could no longer contain. This was beyond ridiculous, and I didn’t have any extra money to be buying a dress for a wedding that probably wasn’t going to take place.

  “Candis, I really don’t feel like pulling off my clothes today,” I said. “Let’s come back later.”

  “Celeste, go ’head,” Dina ordered when Candis just stared at me.

  I pressed my lips together and stood reluctantly.

  “Why are you acting so nasty?” Candis asked, digging.

  “I told you I don’t feel like changing clothes.”

  “But you knew what we were coming to do when we left the house, Celeste. And you wait until we get all the way out here and now you want to show out.”

  “I’m not trying to show out, but please forgive me if I don’t share your excitement about you marrying a man you don’t know and never even met. Do you know how crazy that is?”

  “It’s my choice, and it’s my life. What is it to you if I want to marry him?”

  “What do you mean, what is it to me? You’re my friend! I care about you!” I said louder than I meant to. Other customers looked over at us.

  “If you were my friend, like you say you are, you’d be supporting my decision, Celeste, not fighting me every step of the way.”

  “Ain’t nobody who is a real friend is going to really support you marrying a complete stranger.” I shot my eyes over to Dina, hoping she would give some indication that she was in agreement. Instead she was preoccupied with her cell phone. “You are making a huge mistake, Candis, and the whole world knows it, so excuse me if I’m not jumping up and down about watching you ruin your life.”

  “Just because it’s not what you would do doesn’t mean it’s the wrong choice for me. And you know what else? If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done, and I’m doing just that. Seems like to me you ought to be taking lessons, seeing’s how all you got is a jacked-up, jackleg buster of a man that you keep taking abuse from.”

  My mouth dropped open, but no words came out. I was stunned and insulted. “Screw you and this whole wedding!” It was weak, but that was what finally came out of my mouth. “I’ll see y’all later.”

  “You ain’t got to see me again ever,” Candis shouted across the store as I made my way to the door and rushed out.

  How was she going to be mad at me when she was the one fool enough to marry some guy she’d never even laid her actual eyes on, talking about he looked like Brian McKnight? She didn’t know what he looked like. He could be using Brian’s pictures that he pulled off the Internet and splattered all over his Facebook page. Candis was being a dummy, and she knew it.

  I jumped in my car, started it up, and zipped through the lot, angry, frustrated, and hurt by Candis’s words about my own love life. I didn’t have a “real” man, but she didn
’t have to say that. I mean, everything I said was true. I wasn’t really feeling this decision she was making, but she didn’t have to go as far as she did with calling Equanto names.

  The last place I wanted to go was home, knowing the kind of drama that was ever present within my four walls, but with nowhere else to go and no gas to waste, I found myself forced to be on my way there. As usual, I sat in the parking lot for a full hour, wishing I knew what it felt like to honestly love and be loved.

  I started daydreaming about Keith, pretending that he was the love of my life. Really, in my imagination he was. I had grown fond of him during our morning break room interactions and often wished that there could be more between us. I didn’t know how Keith felt about me, but in my fantasy world, he was in love with me and couldn’t wait to see me every morning. I imagined him bringing me flowers and writing me little love notes and kissing me on the cheek.

  We’d had a great time at Candis’s party, and I couldn’t remember a time I felt so good inside. I’d smiled and laughed so much that night, my cheeks hurt. He had a great listening ear and always showed me compassion whenever I shared with him some of the messy details of my life. He listened without judging and never made me feel foolish for still being married to Equanto, although I knew that one of the best things I could do for myself was divorce the man I’d haphazardly married.

  If I wasn’t married to Equanto, I probably would have tried to date Keith. As a matter of fact, I knew I would have. I wasn’t sure how he would react, or if he was even remotely interested in me. Honestly, I was kinda glad that Equanto stood in the way of me finding out. Who knew what kind of fool I would make of myself by throwing myself at Keith’s feet if I had the opportunity? I’d run the risk of him saying, “Celeste, I think you’re a nice girl and an incredible person, but I just don’t like you like that.”

  Damn! That hurt even in my imagination. I definitely couldn’t take a blow like that in real life. Yeah. It was a good thing that I had a husband, as crazy as he was.

  There was the one time when I told Keith about what had actually happened to my purse and a few other stories about how Equanto had gotten on my last nerve.