A Bachelor Falls Read online

  And that, Ellie told herself on a wave of jealousy and regret, was the way this story was going to end.

  “I’M NOT GOING.” Ellie stood in the open vee of the El Camino’s door and told Ross she was not going to the rehearsal dinner.

  “You’re going,” he said, his expression stern and stubborn and settled. “It’s my wedding. You’re my best man. I need you with me at the rehearsal dinner.”

  “Oh, give me a break, Ross. You don’t need me there. You’ll have Tori and Chrissy and the other two attendants and—”

  “They’re nitwits.”

  “Your parents will be there. And her parents and—” She stopped to squint at him. “Did you just call Tori a nitwit?”

  “No, just the gigglers from Chicago.”

  Ellie sighed and resumed the list of reasons he wouldn’t miss her at the dinner. “Freda will be there. Reverend and Mrs. Minks.”

  “And Zombies I and II,” he added, his lips curving at his perceptive description of Tori’s cousins from Milwaukee.

  But the smile wasn’t real and it wasn’t really for her. Ellie was beginning to think the smile she wanted to see again was gone forever. Stolen from her, along with so much more, in the kiss that hadn’t happened.

  “Eliot,” he pleaded softly. “I want you there. Please.”

  “No, Ross. I’ve got a headache and—”

  “Don’t do that, Ellie.” He put his hand on top of hers on top of the door and squeezed until it hurt. “Don’t start making excuses. It’s important to me for you to be at the dinner tonight. And if our friendship is important to you, you’ll be there.”

  He might as well have slapped her. “What does that mean? You’re going to start blackmailing me now? If I don’t go to the rehearsal dinner, then I don’t care about our friendship? What’s next, Ross? If I don’t want to go bowling with you sometime, does that mean our friendship isn’t important to me? Friends don’t put that kind of condition on things.”

  “Then maybe this isn’t about friendship. Maybe this is about you and me.”

  Ellie stiffened and, for what seemed like forever, she stared into Ross’s green eyes. Then, from some instinctive need to protect herself from hurt, she forced herself to relax, to pretend she didn’t know what he was talking about. “I have a headache, Ross. I’m going home. And if you choose to let our friendship stand or fall on the truth of that, then maybe we don’t really know each other anymore.”

  ROSS WATCHED THE El Camino roll out of the church parking lot and would have given anything to go with it. But Tori was waiting for him. His parents, Freda, the Minks. They all expected him to be at the rehearsal dinner, expected him to be excited, happy, eager. Hell, he didn’t even know all the emotions he was expected to have.

  You’re stressed. You’re tired. You’re getting married on Saturday. He tried the mantra that had gotten him through the past few days, but he didn’t even know what it meant anymore. What he did know was that yesterday, before he and Ellie had kissed, he’d known his role, his place in the universe. And today he didn’t.

  “Ross?” It was Tori, the woman that only yesterday he’d been certain he wanted to be with every day for the rest of his life. “Let’s go, sweetheart,” she said with a smile. “They’re expecting us.”

  With a reluctance that was becoming distressingly familiar, Ross turned toward her. You’re stressed. You’re tired. You’re getting married on Saturday. Prewedding jitters, he told his heart firmly. Then he went to do what they all, even Ellie, expected him to do.

  ON FRIDAY MORNING, Ellie parked the El Camino at the garage and walked the couple of blocks to Main Street. The Bachelor Daze festival was in full blossom, with vendors and booths striping the downtown area in vivid patterns and splashes of brilliant color. A dark green canopy stretched across the far end of the town square, where the barbecue lunch would be served from eleven-thirty to one o’clock. Barricades blocked off one corner of the Save-Rite parking lot, securing the area around a large stake-bed truck, known as the Freedom Trolley. After the race, the bachelors who weren’t captured or otherwise thwarted in their attempt to run the gauntlet of determined women, would climb aboard the trolley and be transported to the falls for their official “dip.”

  The Bachelor Daze race rules forbade any female from stepping foot on the Save-Rite parking lot after two o’clock. The women grumbled that it handicapped their efforts to stop the bachelors from making it to the falls, but it saved Ernie Potts, who drove the Trolley, from accidentally running over any overzealous Bachelor Falls female.

  As Ellie reached the center of town, a bus from Joplin was dropping off visitors in front of Taylor’s Shoe Shop. John Webster, the chief of police, was directing pedestrian traffic with a whistle and his very own booming voice.

  “Welcome to Bachelor Falls,” he boomed. “The Bachelor Daze Race to the Falls starts at three o‘clock right here on Main Street.” The bus rumbled off to the designated tourist bus parking area by the post office and a fifteen-passenger van took its place in front of Taylor’s. “Welcome to Bachelor Falls,” Chief Webster’s voice boomed again. “The Bachelor Daze Race to the Falls starts at three o’clock right here on Main Street.”

  Ellie made her way through the crowd, trying to see past the sightseers and discover whether Ross was waiting for her at their prearranged meeting place—in front of the bank’s south doors. Her pulse raced at the thought of him and she made herself slow down, take the extra steps needed to stay calm, to arrive cool, collected and in control. She’d spent a long night thinking, arguing with her heart, remembering the kiss and telling herself to forget it. But she couldn’t, and from that realization she’d formed a plan. Today was the last full day she might ever have to be with Ross and she’d decided to spend it doing her damnedest to convince him he wasn’t in love with Tori.

  “Ellie, hi!” Kelly called to her from across the street. “Cute outfit,” she yelled, but the rest of her words bounced off the tops of about a million heads that bobbed between them. Ellie waved and moved on. Toward the place where Ross would be waiting.

  Okay, so maybe she couldn’t talk him out of getting married. Maybe it was wrong to even try. But she’d be doing him a favor. He’d thank her after this was all over. Just like all those other times when he’d been in love with the wrong woman, he’d come to his senses. He’d realize that she, his best friend in the world, had been right all along. He’d realize he was really in love with her. Ellie. That was the way this story should end.

  “Eliot Applegate, I’ll have a word with you, please.” Like an avenging angel, Aunt Ona Mae appeared before her, blocking all avenues of escape with a stern look.

  “I’m sort of in a hurry,” Ellie began, only to be stonewalled by another sterner look.

  “You are making a big mistake,” Ona Mae said as if she knew.

  Which she probably did. Moments like this, Ellie wondered if there really were Bostians out there in the cosmos, creating chaos, telling secrets. “Look, Aunt Ona Mae, I know what I’m doing. I thought about it all night and it’s the right thing to do. The honest thing.”

  Ona Mae scooted the double straps of her beige purse farther up her arm. “I wouldn’t call it honest. I wouldn’t call it honest at all.”

  Ellie’s defenses rose. “Well, it is. It has to be. It’s the only hope I have.” She hadn’t meant to say that. Hadn’t meant to think it. But there it was. Her only hope was to convince Ross he was marrying a nitwit. And wrong or not, she was going to do it.

  “Well...” Ona Mae stood there, arms crossed, back straight, purse dangling from her arm. “If your only hope for happiness is to dress up like a quarterback, then you need professional help.” And with that and a nod of conviction, she walked straight as an arrow to the herbal booth. “Give me a package of that ginger root,” she told the herbalist inside. “It’s the only thing that stands between me and an alien abduction.”

  Ellie felt limp. And hot. The football uniform she’d borrowed as a joke was
heavy and beneath the helmet, her hair felt gummy with perspiration. She’d thought the costume would make Ross laugh, would ease the tension between them, and pave the way for her to begin her seduction. Well, not seduction exactly, although that would be her fall-back strategy. If all else failed. If there was no other way to convince him he wasn’t in love with Tori, that she was just the latest in a long line of nitwits.

  “What are you doing in that outfit?” His voice came from behind her and she spun in all her Buccaneer finery to see Ross. Just looking at his familiar face made her breathless. Seeing his smile stopped the beating of her heart. And he was smiling. Her smile. The one she’d thought she might never see again. It was going to be all right, she thought. Because it had to be. It just had to be.

  “I told you I had my padding ready. I’m here to escort you through the gauntlet, Ross. No one is going to stop you from making it to the falls on my watch.”

  “Speaking of watch, what time is it?”

  “Don’t know. Left my watch at home,” she said with a saucy tilt of her head. “Didn’t match my helmet.”

  He knocked on the red-and-gray helmet. “Lose the padding before you pass out from the heat and I have to carry you through the gauntlet. Then I’ll never make it to the falls.”

  Relieved, Ellie removed the helmet and pushed her unruly hair out of her face, only to feel the damp tendrils come curling right back. “You’ll make it,” she said. “This is probably the only time in the history of the great Race to the Falls that a woman has had an excuse to make the run. Believe me, nothing is going to keep us from getting through.”

  “Don’t get cocky. I saw Tommie Nell with a basket of water balloons this big.” He cupped his hands to indicate the size. “And you know Mabel and Hazel have been up all night getting the whipped cream pies ready. Are you sure you want to fight your way through that?”

  “For you, Ross, I will brave anything. Even water balloons and whipped cream pies.”

  His smile turned melancholy. “I’m glad you’re going with me this time, Eliot, even though I have no intention of actually jumping into the falls. I won’t ever get to run the gauntlet again, you know.”

  “Cheer up,” she said brightly. “You may get lucky and get pushed into the falls and have to stay single for another year.”

  “Mayor Jimmy’s made a career out of it, hasn’t he? Think Tommie Nell will ever get him to the altar?”

  “My money’s on her this year,” Ellie said. “I think this will be his last run, too.”

  “I’m going to miss all this,” Ross said, his attention sweeping the crowd and activity around them.

  “You’ll be back,” she assured him. And herself.

  “But it won’t be the same. Nothing’s going to be the same.”

  Standing there next to Ross, in the familiar, frenzied middle of the Bachelor Daze craze, she was careful not to touch him, careful not to let her love shine bright in her eyes, careful not to let him see that for her, nothing was ever going to be the same again.

  Chapter Eleven

  The starter’s gun went off with a bang and the wall of bachelors jogged forward, cautious, watchful, knowing disaster could strike from anywhere along the cheering throng that lined Main Street. From the corner of her eye, Ellie saw Melva Whiffington dart out.

  “On your right,” Ellie yelled to Ross. “One o’clock!” He easily sidestepped Melva’s advance, but got smacked with a water balloon when he got in between Tommie Nell and her target... Jimmy Bartlett. Ellie dodged a whipped cream pie that sailed over her head and caught Shorty Silvers on the arm. Laughing, she jogged on beside Ross. “This is fun,” she said...just before Lana’s mother jumped out and sprayed her with Silly String.

  Ross grabbed her arm then and propelled her ahead of him, using her as a shield when Carla Ramsey aimed her Super-Dooper Water Gun at him. Ellie sputtered under the deluge and wished she hadn’t given the football helmet to Chip, who was sprinting like a gazelle far ahead of the pack. Of course, no one really cared about the kids. It was only the really eligible men who made the race interesting.

  “You’re mine, Doc!” Belinda Morgan jumped out of a Porta-John and right in front of Ross. Before Ellie could tackle her, she had her arms around Ross’s neck and was kissing him full on the mouth. There was no rule against kissing as a means of halting the men in their tracks, and there was no denying it was effective, but Ellie thought of it as taking unfair advantage. It seemed especially unfair when it was Belinda kissing Ross.

  “Hey—” Ellie said as she grabbed Belinda’s arm and tried to pull her off. But Belinda had suction and the will to succeed and Ross frankly wasn’t putting up much of a struggle. In fact, his hands were suspiciously close to her—“Knock it off!” Ellie pinched him and Belinda at the same instant and then used her shoulder pads to bulldoze Ms. Morgan into the unsuspecting path of Brad Elston, who should have been paying attention instead of making eyes at the high school cheerleaders as they cheered and did high kicks in front of town hall.

  “Brad!” Belinda beamed, and then pulled her best strategy ever. Quick as a flash, she pulled up her T-shirt and flashed him.

  Brad stumbled and went down for the count.

  “Wow,” Ross said, slowing in case Belinda tried a second flash.

  “Keep running,” Ellie advised. “And don’t look back.”

  “It’s a good thing you broke me out of that lip lock when you did,” Ross said as they got blasted with another battery of water balloons. “She’s a lot stronger than I remember.”

  “Yes,” Ellie commiserated. “I noticed how hard you were struggling to break free.”

  He grinned, then winced as whipped cream splatted in great gobs across his cheek and ear. “No one ever said this was a picnic. The honorable estate of bachelorhood is at stake.”

  “So, you see this as a mission,” Ellie said, tripping Stacy Halloran as the blonde tried to attach a clamp to Ross’s trunks.

  “Not a mission, exactly.” He hopped forward, narrowly missing being snared by Hazel’s expert toss of the fish net. “More like the quest for the Holy Grail.”

  Chrissy, apparently inspired by Belinda’s tactical maneuvers, ran into Ross’s path. But she was giggling so hard, Ellie was able to steer him clear of danger before Chrissy could get her lip lock set up.

  “You were a little fast that time, Eliot,” he said, ducking Mrs. Minks and her stun gun—a slingshot with bean bag ammunition.

  “I’ll keep that in mind.” She pressed close to his side, steering him through an obstacle course of determined Bachelor Falls women.

  “Hi, Ross!” Tori called meekly from the sidelines, her fingers curling down in a tiny little wave. Ross waved back, but the distraction cost him another delay. Tommie Nell, still chasing Mayor Jimmy, leaped over Henry Boyd, who was stooped down and frantically trying to work Thelma Perkins’s lasso off his ankle. Tommie Nell plowed right into Ross, taking them both down.

  She was up in a flash. “Out of my way!” she yelled. She chased off after Jimmy again, waving a pair of handcuffs. Ellie had just gotten Ross on his feet when a bouncy redhead on roller skates bumped him from behind, spun him around and jumped right into his arms. He looked a little surprised, but certainly not dismayed and Ellie began to see the gauntlet as not quite the hardship the men jokingly complained it was.

  Stealthy movement caught her attention. “Watch out, Ross. Tami Ryals has you in her sights and... Man! Where did she get that?”

  Ross dropped the redhead just in time to find himself staring down the nozzle of a homemade water pistol—its design based loosely on a bagpipe, its size half again the circumference of a watermelon. He just had time to reach for Ellie—who nimbly stepped aside before Tami blasted away with what had to be six gallons of green Jell-O. Fifteen seconds later, Ross had been transformed into the Incredible “Jell-O” Hulk. “Mmm,” he said, licking his lips. “I always have room for Jell-O.”

  Ellie laughed so hard her sides ached and she almost m
issed seeing the female posse that was moving in fast from the sidelines. “We’d better get out of here.”

  “Oh, don’t worry. It’s going to take Tami a little time to reload that pistol,” he said, still swiping slime off his face.

  “Yes, but the cavalry is on its way in...and Melva’s in the lead.”

  “Hell,” Ross said. “They’re making a human chain. We’ll never get past them now.”

  “Psst! Kilgannon! Over here!” Help materialized in the form of Travis and Bobby Joe, who had opened a small avenue of escape in the jostling crowd. They’d set up a kid’s Slip ’N Slide, all wet and waiting to provide a quick slide onto the Save-Rite parking lot and into another year of freedom.

  Ross grabbed Ellie’s hand and together, they took a broad jump and slid the remaining length of Main Street.

  THE FALLS AREA WAS PACKED with families, friends and shouts of laughter when the Freedom Trolley rumbled to a stop. Several of the younger bachelors, Chip and his cronies, leaped from the truck and raced ahead. By the time Ellie and Ross approached the official jump-off point, the natural pool at the base of the falls was dotted with males and a few more dived in every few minutes.

  “Ross!” Chip shouted from the pool below. “Come on in! The water’s great!”

  “Colder than an ice-cold beer in December,” muttered a dripping, shivering Shorty as he climbed up out of the water and grabbed a towel from the stack provided just for the occasion.