Beneath the Scars Read online

  John smiled but it looked forced. “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Marna. You and Devon aren’t….I mean, are you…..?” He seemed to be strangling on his words, as if the very idea they might be a couple was too hard to imagine, let alone speak of.

  “We’re friends,” she said quickly, forcing her own smile and hoping it looked more genuine than his did.

  It surprised her when Devon added, “Good friends. Would you believe her sister is on the dance floor with my grandfather?”

  John laughed. “Conrad? Gee whiz, I didn’t even know he was still alive. Sorry, I didn’t mean that. He must be….”

  “…ninety. And he’s still alive and kicking.” Devon chuckled. “Or should I say, dancing? Oh, here they come now. He must have worn Taryn out.”

  Conrad approached the table, holding tightly to Taryn’s arm, and looked at John. “You look familiar.”

  “John Cannon.”

  Conrad sat down. “Name sounds familiar. I probably knew your grandfather. Did you meet Marna? This is her sister Taryn.”

  Taryn’s heart was racing as fast as Marna’s, although for a different reason – her unconquerable shyness. Her blue jeans suddenly felt two sizes too small and she was sure her belly was protruding through her pullover top. Looking at John, she smiled, trying not to look as uncomfortable as she was feeling.

  As he smiled at her and spoke, she had no idea what was racing through John’s mind, that she was one of the most beautiful women he’d seen in a long time. He liked a woman with a little meat on her bones and that meat was distributed very attractively on this one. His mind quickly returned to Marna. What had happened to her? A terrible accident? Recalling his first reaction to her, he had a twinge of guilt, looked again at Marna and gave her a real smile.

  Devon glanced at his watch. “John, we’re going to have to get together sometime while I’m home, but right now, we’re going to have to leave or we’ll miss the start of the movie.”

  “Oh, okay. Well, have fun, all of you. Great to see you again, Devon.” John turned and walked away, but not before sending one more appreciative glance toward Taryn. He didn’t look at Marna again.

  Silence ensued for only a moment before Conrad laughed. “You were great on that dance floor, Taryn. You made me feel young again. Thank you.”

  Taryn smiled at him. Would she ever be as comfortable with a man her own age as she’d been with him? She hadn’t missed the gleam in John’s eye, nor the uneasy feeling it had given her. She was glad she didn’t know what he was thinking. That she was pretty but a little too fat?

  As Conrad grinned back at her, neither noticed Devon’s gaze resting on Marna.

  Looking up, she met his eyes and smiled.

  He smiled back, but didn’t look away. Instead, their gazes locked. For just an instant, which seemed instead like an eternity, his eyes seemed to be searching hers, almost as if they were looking for something that may or may not be there.

  What was he thinking? What kind of secrets were hidden behind those beautiful dark eyes? As her smile widened, she noticed him wince slightly. At once, her smile froze and she turned away. She should’ve known it would happen.

  She looked at Conrad and then at her sister. “Devon’s right. We better get going. Thank you, Conrad and Devon, for the wonderful meal.”

  ∞ SEVENTEEN ∞

  WHY COULDN’T he get Marna Cord off his mind? What were his true feelings for her? Devon lie awake, tossing and turning and unable to sleep, long into the night. Thoughts of the day, beginning with Marna and Taryn’s unexpected visit to take Pops to see his old friend Ottie at the nursing home, ran through his mind like a video. Over and over, he heard Marna’s happy laughter as she listened to the wild stories both Ottie and Pops kept coming up with. He couldn’t help wondering if they were all true or if his grandfather and his longtime friend were making them up as they went along. No matter what, they’d made Marna –and even shy Taryn – believe them as they talked, joked and laughed so easily with each other. Anyone watching them or listening wouldn’t have had a doubt they were totally comfortable with one another and happy being together.

  Devon understood the feeling because he felt at ease with Marna every time he was with her. Just the same, he wanted to look at her as both Ottie and Pops did, with eyes that saw nothing but the beauty inside her. He didn’t think either of them even noticed her scars or her bad eye. To them, she was perfection, exactly the way she was.

  What was she to him? How did he truly see her? At times, he felt like he was looking beneath her scars. When that happened, happiness surged through him and he never wanted to turn away from her. But then reality would set in, and the human instinct inside him again saw her disfigurement. Like the moment their gazes had locked as they sat at the table in the restaurant. For the briefest of seconds, he’d felt as if he was looking into her very soul, where only beauty and purity lived. Then, to his dismay and against his will, he was noticing the one eye that wouldn’t completely open and thinking of the scars embedded so deeply into her cheeks. He hadn’t wanted it to happen. It just did. The worst part was knowing she could read in his eyes exactly what he was thinking. It was why she’d looked away so quickly. He had hurt her. He didn’t want to hurt her. Still, he had. Would he do it again, perhaps every time he saw her, even though he didn’t want to?

  Maybe it would be better not to see her again. The thought brought an unexpected stab of pain to his heart. He wanted to be with her. He enjoyed talking to her and listening to her laugh. It touched him deeply when something he said brought emotional tears to her eyes. It made him want to wipe them away, to tell her he would never say anything else to make her cry. He wanted to run his fingers down her cheeks and tenderly feel those deep rigid scars, and then he wanted to press his lips to them and kiss them until they were no longer visible.

  He wanted the impossible. There was no way he could ever kiss away her scars. They would be there forever. He thought of the surgeries she’d told him she’d had. Still, the scars were there and they would be there for the rest of her life. There was no more the doctors could do.

  She would always be the same person, he told himself, whether or not her skin was scarred or perfectly unblemished. He thought of Sharris and Taryn, both beautiful, with creamy smooth skin and two brilliantly blue, wide-open eyes, yet neither of them appealed to him as Marna did. What was it about Marna that made it impossible for him to get her out of his mind – even in the midst of her gorgeous sisters?

  Was he falling in love with her? He couldn’t let it happen. His mother was right. There would be too much embarrassment for both of them every time they were seen together. Like in the restaurant, when John Cannon had stopped by to talk to him. He recalled the horrified look in his friend’s eyes when he saw Marna. His first instinct was to defend her, maybe make a quick comment on one of her other desirable characteristics to take John’s mind off her face, but he couldn’t find the words he wanted to say. Would that be the way it would always be? Would he ever have the words to make her feel better when others looked at her in shock and disbelief?

  His mind moved on to the movie they’d gone to see. Although it was a delightful comedy and they’d laughed a lot, there had also been a tender love scene when Marna was extremely quiet. Was she thinking she would never have a love of her own because of her scars? He flinched, remembering how he’d just finished telling himself he couldn’t let himself fall in love with her. What if every man she met felt like that? Why did he think he was any better than any of the rest of them?

  Closing his eyes, he started to pray, something he hadn’t done in a very long time. He asked for forgiveness for his selfish thoughts. That’s what they were. Selfish. He asked for happiness for Marna. If she wanted true love, he asked God to send it to her. Otherwise, that He would make her satisfied and content in whatever happened in her future.

  Finally, he fell asleep.

  It seemed like only moments later that he was awakened by a tapping on his b
edroom door. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to see the sun shining through the window.

  “Devon, will you take me to church this morning or should I call my friend James, like I usually do?”

  Church? Oh, yes, it was Sunday. He hadn’t considered that Pops always had to have someone drive him. “I’ll take you. I’ll be there in a minute.”

  The door opened. “Spruce up a little and come with me. I’m old, son. Pamper me.”

  “Pops….”

  A voice, slightly irritated, spoke from behind Conrad. “He’s sweet-talked me into it, so you may as well come, too.”

  If his mother was going, she could drive him. Even as he thought it, Devon sighed and shrugged his shoulders. “Okay.”

  AS MARNA sat with her sisters in their usual pew in church that morning, waiting for the service to start, she wondered if Ottie would make it. She’d never thought to ask the day before. A surge of guilt ran through her as she remembered him telling her his son was out of town. He wouldn’t have a way to get there. She could’ve offered to pick him up. She sighed. It was too late to think of it now. Maybe she’d go by for a few minutes on her way home, even if it was just long enough to say hi.

  She was jostled from her thoughts when she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned quickly. When she saw Donovan standing there, it took her totally by surprise. He was the last person she expected to see.

  “Is there room for one more in this seat?” He smiled at her, then at Taryn and Sharris when they turned at the sound of his voice.

  Marna nudged her sisters to move over. What else could she do?

  He sat down. “You know, I’ve been coming here for years, although not regularly I’m ashamed to say, and I never knew it was your church til Conrad told me the other day at lunch.”

  How did Conrad know which church she attended? She remembered mentioning how she’d met Ottie there. Maybe she’d said the name of the church as well. She smiled at Donovan, trying to still her nervousness. He was awfully close and their shoulders were touching. Her sisters needed to slide down a little more.

  Neither Taryn nor Sharris were paying her any attention and didn’t budge an inch. Sharris’ eyes never left Donovan as she smiled sweetly and told him it was good to see him again.

  “And you. You look very pretty today, Sharris. You all do.” His eyes stopped on Marna, making her very uncomfortable and totally irritating Sharris at the same time.

  The music started. Marna was glad for the distraction and couldn’t help hoping it would be a very short service. Donovan seemed like a good man, but she couldn’t help wishing it was Devon sitting so close to her instead of him.

  Devon. She couldn’t believe it when she saw him walking down the center aisle, along with his mother and Conrad. She was even more surprised when they stopped at her row. Taryn and Sharris started sliding over, leaving room enough for only one person. Devon quickly seated himself on the other side of Marna, then motioned for Reeka and Conrad to go to the empty end of the seat.

  Marna sat as still as a statue, sandwiched between Donovan and Devon. She hoped the music kept playing. Maybe it would get a little louder so there’d be no chance of either one of the men hearing her wildly thumping heart!

  Devon reached over and shook Donovan’s hand. “Good to see you again,” he said, smiling.

  Donovan grinned. “You, too.”

  Reeka looked at Conrad. “This seat is pretty crowded, don’t you think? There was plenty of room in the back.”

  Conrad laughed softly. “I don’t like to sit in the back. I can’t hear or see well enough and I want to know what’s going on.”

  He wanted to know what was going on all right, Reeka thought, glancing quickly at Devon, then at Marna and then at Donovan. Had the old man planned every bit of this? Was he trying to match make? If that was the case, she hoped he had Donovan in mind for Marna. She would prefer her son took an interest in Sharris, the most beautiful of the sisters, instead of Marna, with her scars, or the heavy-set Taryn, sitting on the other side of him. It occurred to her she hadn’t even met Sharris yet and turned her eyes toward the girl sitting beside her. She wasn’t prepared for the angry glint in her gorgeous blue eyes. Was she upset because of the seating arrangement? She couldn’t help hoping Conrad hadn’t actually planned it this way and that it had just happened. No matter what he had in mind, Reeka would do everything in her power to dissuade any kind of relationship between Devon and Marna. There was no way she could imagine them as a couple or Marna as her daughter-in-law. How embarrassing that would be!

  She gently touched Sharris’ shoulder and introduced herself. When Sharris smiled and gave her a sweet hug, Reeka was more certain than ever that she was the Cord sister she wanted for her son. That is, if he was insistent on having one of them. She was absolutely beautiful. Not a blemish on her face. And she had a figure that was to die for. Yes, she was the one. As handsome as Devon was, Sharris would be perfect for him.

  The minister began to speak and the congregation became quiet. Although Marna tried not to squirm, she found it difficult to sit still. She was uncomfortable being so close to Donovan, but even more so with Devon just as close on the other side of her. It embarrassed her to think that Donovan might actually be interested in her and she couldn’t keep her heart from speeding up at the possibility that Devon might not be. Why had they both chosen to sit on the same row as her? How on earth had she wound up sitting between them? For just a second, she stole a glance at Conrad. At the same time, he looked her way, smiled and winked.

  A flashback of Donovan accidentally dropping by the day Conrad had asked Marna to take him shopping ran through her mind. Had it not been an accident at all? Had Conrad asked him to come? Had Conrad invited Donovan to church today, as well as Devon? Why? Surely he wasn’t trying to get her and Donovan together! Her cheeks reddened with embarrassment. What if Conrad was using Devon to try to make Donovan jealous? Poor Donovan. He wouldn’t have any idea what Conrad might be up to. She should’ve known there was a reason someone that looked like him would be paying her so much attention. He was doing it as a favor to Conrad, with not a clue as to what was going on. Oh! She was going to have a talk with Conrad – and soon!

  ∞ EIGHTEEN ∞

  WHEN CONRAD SUGGESTED they all go to dinner when the service ended, Marna politely refused. Sharris and Taryn could do as they pleased, she said, trying to keep her voice light and pleasant, but she had something else she had to do. Taryn quickly added that she had plans as well, which left only Sharris, who smiled sweetly at everyone and told them she would love to join them.

  Reeka couldn’t have been more pleased. Maybe things would work out after all.

  “Why didn’t you want to go?” Taryn asked her sister as the two of them started home.

  Marna was glad for the opportunity to voice her thoughts to the only person she knew would understand. “I have a suspicion that Conrad is up to something. I think he’s trying to get Donovan interested in me.”

  “Just because Donovan sat beside you in church?”

  ‘He didn’t even know where I went to church until Conrad told him.”

  Taryn waited for Marna to continue.

  “The first time I met him, I never considered Donovan’s visit was anything but accidental, but…”

  “There was definitely no way Conrad could’ve had a part in what happened in the rain that day, unless he has some kind of angel powers.” Taryn snickered.

  “That was definitely accidental, but I can’t help wondering what really happened this morning. Why were both Donovan and Devon at church and why was one sitting on one side of me and one on the other? When I glanced at Conrad once, he was snickering.”

  “Maybe he is playing cupid. Maybe he’s using Devon to try to make Donovan jealous. Poor old fellow has no idea Devon’s the one you want.”

  “Maybe he does. Maybe he asked Donovan to seek me out this morning, then had Devon bring him to church, hoping Devon might accidentally say or do something to
make Donovan think he was interested in me. Maybe Conrad feels sorry for me and figures it would make me happy to think someone like Donovan might be interested. Maybe he wants to be sure his grandson doesn’t actually take an interest. It would probably be embarrassing for him to even think about having someone that looks like me in the family.”

  “Stop running yourself down.”

  “You don’t understand. There’s no way either Donovan or Devon would want me. I have to give them an easy way out of this situation before they discover what Conrad’s trying to do. It would be so embarrassing for everyone, and the guys are nice enough that they’d feel really bad if they thought I had fallen for one of them.”

  “But you have. For Devon.”

  “It’s all one-sided. I know that and I accept it.”

  Taryn sighed. “You don’t know any such thing. Why won’t you even consider that some man really might fall in love with you someday?”

  “Oh, sure. Maybe one will. Some short, fat, bald-headed old man with such bad eyes he can’t see me.”

  “You’re ridiculous. Where are you going? This isn’t the way home.”

  “To see Ottie. At least he doesn’t have a man in mind he wants to try to give me to!”

  “But I want to go home! Take me home first.”

  Marna sighed and turned around. “Okay. Better yet, let’s get a bite to eat and then I’ll take you home.”

  “There’s plenty to eat at the house.”

  “You’re right. Why go out when we don’t have to?”

  They saw Josie outside with her daughter in the yard of the house next door and waved at her. “Let’s go say hi,” Marna suggested and pulled her car into Josie’s driveway. “Her little girl sure is cute.”

  Josie walked over to them. “You must have been at church. I have to work so many Sundays, I rarely have a chance to go anymore. Then, days like today, I actually get off and still don’t go. Makes me feel guilty.”