A Forbidden Amish Courtship Read online

  Sammy knew he wanted a fraa who knew how to cook, sew, garden, and do all the other things Amish women learn growing up. Miranda didn’t totally lack domestic skills, but she was a long way off compared to his Amish schweschdern. He also needed a partner who knew him well and would work alongside him, if need be. He just wasn’t sure if Miranda, or any Englisch girl, was the right person.

  “You gonna eat your food, sohn, or just play with it all evening?”

  Sammy’s head snapped up at Dat’s comment. “Ach, sorry, Dat. I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

  “Better see to your supper.”

  Sammy nodded, then trained his eyes on his food. He glanced up at his schweschdern’s discouraged faces and determined not to be a burden to them. Perhaps he’d pitch in and offer to help with dishes tonight.

  Sammy stared down at Miranda’s brief letter.

  Dear Sammy,

  We need to talk. Call me when you get out of jail.

  Miranda

  Sammy tossed the note into his desk drawer, then joined his father in the living room. “I need to go out, Dat.”

  Dat frowned at him over his newspaper. “I thought you would be helping with the chores this evening.”

  “Jah, I plan to. I just need to run out to the phone shanty. I shouldn’t be long.”

  “Alright, I’ll expect you back soon then.” As Dat set the newspaper to the side, Sammy recognized the photo on the front page.

  Ach. Did Dat know that was him and Miranda in the picture? Sammy’s cheeks burned at the thought of his family viewing the photo of the two of them—him shirtless with the word “peace” painted across his chest and Miranda in her not-so-modest bikini top—at a concert rally they’d attended a couple of days before he’d been arrested. Dat would surely think Sammy was on his way to hell—if he didn’t already.

  Maybe he should try to smuggle the newspaper out of the room after Dat retired for the evening. Too bad he couldn’t get it now, although there was a gut chance Dat had already seen the front page. Dat was quite thorough when it came to reading his newspapers.

  “We need to talk later,” Dat’s voice called out just before Sammy stepped out the door.

  Talk, indeed. Sammy expected as much. It wasn’t something he was looking forward to either. He knew Dat would be right, as usual, and his words of wisdom weren’t always comfortable to hear. Dat’s words always had a way of aiming straight toward Sammy’s heart.

  Sammy hustled out to the phone shanty, not willing to make Dat more disappointed in him than he already was. He stepped inside the phone booth, planted himself on the chair, picked up the phone’s receiver, then dialed Miranda’s telephone number.

  “Hello,” a vaguely familiar male voice echoed through the line.

  Sammy heard a giggle. “Give me that, silly.” It was Miranda now. “Hello?”

  Sammy frowned. He was certain he’d called the phone number that connected to Miranda’s bedroom. “Who was that?”

  Miranda gasped. “Sammy? Uh…is that you? I didn’t expect…” Sammy heard muffled voices, then Miranda was back on the other end. “You’re out of jail already?”

  Sammy’s skin prickled with uneasiness. Something wasn’t right. “Obviously.” He spewed the sarcastic retort. “I got your note.”

  “I just, I didn’t expect you to be out this soon.”

  “Jah, you already said that.” He frowned. “Your letter said you wanted to talk.”

  “Yes, but in person. When can you meet me?”

  “I don’t have my car back yet. I’m going to have to earn some money to get it out of impound. I’ll have to bring the buggy.” He wrapped his finger with the phone cord, then pulled it out of the coil.

  “How about the park? Tomorrow? At ten in the morning?”

  He knew the park she’d spoke of well. It was just down the road a couple of miles. They’d once…ach, he shouldn’t allow his mind to dwell on what they’d done there. He dispelled the memory and cleared his throat. “Jah, that should work.”

  “Okay then.” She sounded in a hurry to hang up.

  “Miranda?” He spoke with haste.

  “Yeah?”

  “Who answered your phone?” He couldn’t say goodbye without knowing.

  “Ah, nobody. See you tomorrow. Bye.”

  Just like that, the phone clicked off and Sammy stared indignantly at the receiver in his hand before slamming it down in frustration. Anxiety grew in his gut. If Miranda had been cheating on him…

  He suddenly felt nauseous.

  Chapter 2

  “Is it true, Glen?” Roberta couldn’t hide her grin if she glued her lips together.

  “Is what true?” Her brother sat on the milking stool and pretended to not know what she was talking about.

  Roberta planted a hand on her hip and tapped her foot. She shouldn’t have to spell it out for her dim-witted bruder again. “Sammy Eicher. Is it true he’s out of jail?”

  “How would I know?” Why was her bruder being so dumm? Of course, he’d know.

  “You’re his best friend. If anyone knows, you should.” She pinned him with a stare. “Besides, Lena Bontrager saw his dat driving down the road and she was pretty sure and certain Sammy was in the buggy too.”

  “What’s it to you, anyhow?”

  “Well, I—”

  “You still have a crush on him, don’t you?” He shook his head. “You’d be better off setting your sights on someone else. Sammy’s no good. And besides, he already has an Englisch girlfriend.” Glen scowled.

  “I thought you said they broke up.”

  “Don’t go spreading rumors, schweschder.” He aimed a teat in her direction and sprayed her with warm cow’s milk.

  “Ach!” She wiped the milk from her face. Why did brieder have to be so exasperating?

  “I said they should break up. Miranda’s too good for Sammy.”

  “How can you say that about your best friend? And she is not too gut for Sammy.”

  Roberta had seen the girl before, and quite frankly, she didn’t know what Sammy saw in her. Why, she didn’t even know how to dress properly!

  Her conscience immediately pricked her. She really should be more charitable toward Miranda. It wasn’t her fault she was Englisch and didn’t know any better.

  Her bruder laughed heartily. “I think you’re just jealous.”

  “What? She’s the last person I’d be jealous of.” But then, Miranda did have Sammy. That alone was one thing to be jealous of if she admitted it to herself.

  “Whatever you say, schweschder.”

  “Sammy’s a gut man.”

  “You only say that because you’ve got blinders on. This is the third time he’s been in jail, you know. He’s getting a reputation.” Glen pointed at her. “And if Dat had any idea that you have your kapp turned toward Sammy, you know he would forbid it outright.”

  Roberta frowned. Was she the only one who saw the truth of the matter? It was obvious to her that Sammy Eicher was hurting deep down inside. He only did stupid things because he was grieving the loss of his mudder and didn’t know how to deal with it.

  All he needed was someone to take his hand and show him that it was okay to pour his heart out to Gott. He didn’t have to be strong all the time or hide behind parties and alcohol and cars. What he needed was right in front of him.

  If only…

  Ach, her bruder was right. She shouldn’t be having fanciful thoughts about her bruder’s best friend. After all, Sammy was three years older than she was. He probably didn’t even know she existed as a woman.

  Maybe that would change if Sammy began attending the young folks’ gatherings again. Jah, she’d pray for that.

  Sammy blew out a breath and rubbed his clammy hands on his pant legs as he sat across from Dat in the living room. This was what he’d been dreading all day.

  Dat held up the newspaper and Sammy cringed. “Want to explain this?”

  Sammy shook his head. “Not especially.”

/>   “Go on,” Dat prodded.

  Suddenly his throat felt dry. “I, uh, we…attended the peace rally.”

  “I see that.” Dat glanced at the paper. “And you felt the need to attend naked?” Dat’s eyebrow arched high.

  “We aren’t naked, Dat. I just had my shirt off.”

  “In front of a woman you are not married to? And a lot of other folks, by the look of it.” Dat’s frown deepened. “Is this the woman you’ve been seeing?”

  Sammy eyed the photo of Miranda in her skimpy bikini top and he swallowed. “Jah, that’s Miranda.”

  “And this is the type of woman, an Englischer, you would like to spend your future with?” Dat was too kind to say strange woman, as she’d be referred to in Proverbs. But Sammy knew what he was thinking just the same. How many times growing up had Dat brought those verses up during their family Bible reading time? How many times had he stopped during reading to explain what a strange woman meant, according to Der Herr’s Word?

  Sammy thought of his phone call earlier. If his niggling feeling was correct… “Nee. She is not.”

  “Help me to understand this, sohn.” Ach, had he ever seen Dat’s face so withdrawn? Not since Mamm’s funeral. “You know this is something that goes against our beliefs.”

  “It was just a peace rally, Dat. It was a protest against the war. If you think about it, that’s what our people stand for too.” He reasoned.

  Dat slammed the newspaper down on the side table. “Nee! Sohn, this is not what we stand for. We are against war because we believe Jesus would be. This…” He gestured toward the newspaper. “This is glorifying sin and rebellion in the name of peace. Jesus would never be for this disgracefulness.”

  He knew Dat’s words were true, although he wouldn’t admit it.

  Dat pointed at a sign someone held in the photo. “Free love. What does this mean?”

  Ach. Did Dat really want him to explain? Instead of answering, he shrugged.

  “I think you know what it means.”

  Sammy nodded. Not only did he know the meaning of it; he and Miranda lived it. Not that he’d share that bit of information with Dat.

  “And you don’t?” Sammy hadn’t meant to sound disrespectful, although it probably sounded that way. He was getting himself in deep.

  “Freedom doesn’t come through sin. Sin is bondage. Freedom can only come through Christ. That is what Der Herr says in His Word.”

  “But how can there be freedom with all the ‘Thou shalt nots’? I guess that’s the part I don’t understand. That sounds like bondage to me.”

  Dat chuckled now. “Tell me, sohn. Do you want somebody to come and steal your stuff? Say, your car or your horse?”

  “What? Nee, of course not.”

  “So, then you’re saying that you’re not against ‘Thou shalt not steal’?”

  Sammy scratched his face, contemplating what his father had just said. “Ach, I guess not.”

  “What about lying? Would you want someone to stand up in court and accuse you of a crime you didn’t commit?”

  “Nee.” But what did this have to do with—

  “So, you’re not against ‘Thou shalt not bear false witness’ then?”

  “I guess not.”

  “Then I suppose you wouldn’t mind if your future fraa shares the marriage bed with other men?”

  “What? Of course, I would mind!” His blood boiled with just the thought that Miranda might be cheating on him.

  “So, then you’re not against ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’?”

  Sammy sighed.

  “It sounds to me like you might actually think the ‘Thou shalt nots’ aren’t so bad after all.” Dat’s tone softened. “You see, sohn. Those laws were written for your good, not to hold you back from good.”

  “You’re right.” Again. Ach, if he only possessed half the amount of wisdom his vatter did.

  “Look at me, sohn.”

  Sammy did as told.

  “I don’t believe you would be doing any of this if your mudder were still around. Am I right?”

  Sammy not only saw but felt the pain in Dat’s eyes, heard it in his voice. “Jah, but it’s not you. It’s not your fault. It’s me, Dat.”

  “I reckon you need your mamm even more than I thought.” Dat hung his head, and it about broke Sammy’s heart. Dat had done nothing to deserve this extra turmoil. He’d already been through enough losing Mamm. They all had.

  “I’m sorry, Dat. I’ll try to do better.” He meant those words with all his heart, but he had no idea how to put them into action.

  Dat lifted his head and met Sammy’s eyes. “You will need Der Herr’s guidance. I think it’s time you start making some decisions, sohn.”

  “The thing is, Dat, I don’t think I’m ready to commit to the Amish Ordnung just yet. I’m not sure if I agree with all of the rules.”

  Dat chuckled. “I’m not sure even the bishop agrees with all the rules, sohn. The thing is, there will always be rules in life that we disagree with. But unless it’s something life-altering, is it really that important?”

  “The Bann is life-altering. What if I do something to disgrace my family and then I won’t be able to fellowship with my future fraa?”

  “You can’t live your life on what ifs, sohn. That is fear talking.”

  “But I’ve heard stories, Dat.”

  “What stories?”

  “About a man deciding he doesn’t think it’s Gott’s will to be Amish anymore, and then the leaders and relatives try to talk the fraa into staying in the Amish church with their kinner. I don’t think it’s right that they would try to separate a man from his fraa. He’s supposed to be the leader of the family, ain’t so? Doesn’t the Bible say what Gott hath joined together, let not man put asunder?”

  “You have a valid point. But do you plan on joining the G’may, then leaving in the future?”

  “It’s not my plan. But you don’t know what might come your way. If I join the Amish, I’m stuck for life.”

  “Perhaps. But there are much worse things in the Englisch world, with their televisions and whatnot.”

  Sammy hung his head. He loathed the fact that his next words would disappoint his father. “I’m not ready to commit, Dat. I’m sorry.”

  “Whether you are ready or not, I would appreciate it if you began attending singings again. You are more likely to find a reason to stay if you are fellowshipping with Plain folks, other than Englischers, ain’t not?”

  “By a reason, do you mean a maedel?”

  Dat shrugged. “Many a maedel has persuaded a young man to join the G’may.”

  “If I find a fraa, I will want her to commit to me like Ruth did with Naomi. I will insist that she be willing to go where I go and stay where I stay.”

  “It’s possible that the right fraa may just agree to that.” Dat smiled now.

  “I’m counting on it.”

  “So, you will begin going with the young folks again?”

  “Jah.” It was the best he could do at the moment. And frankly, he was glad Dat hadn’t asked him to give up his Englisch friends. He could attend the youth meetings.

  Dat clasped his shoulder. “Gut, sohn. That is all I ask for now.”

  Sammy could only wish to possess half the wisdom his father did. Maybe some day.

  Chapter 3

  Dat seemed to be in a chipper mood during chores and breakfast that morning, and Sammy attributed his attitude to the conversation they’d had last evening. He admitted it was nice to see something other than a furrowed brow on his vatter.

  Sammy realized last evening that he, as the oldest sohn, needed to step in and help Dat more. Sure, his younger brieder pitched in, but Clive was fifteen and Zane only seven. Neither old enough to handle a man’s work. His youngest bruder had been a surprise to his folks. There were fifteen years between Zane and Sammy.

  Sammy took his time driving to the park, not particularly looking forward to his conversation with Miranda. He wasn’t sure
why he was all worked up about their phone call yesterday. It was most likely just Miranda’s bruder in the room with her when Sammy had called. No need to assume the worst. Either way, he planned to get to the bottom of it.

  He spotted Miranda’s Vette stationed in the park’s gravel area the moment he topped the hill. He’d always thought she had a sweet ride. It seemed as though her folks didn’t spare any expense when it came to Miranda and her brother.

  As for Sammy, he’d had to work many hours to be able to save up for what Miranda deemed his “clunker.” He’d just been thrilled to drive something with four tires instead of four legs.

  He pulled his horse, Shakespeare, into the gravel area and secured it to the hitching post. He spotted Miranda on one of the swings. Ach, every time he saw her his heart skipped a beat. She was indeed a beautiful young woman—one of the prettiest he’d seen, in fact. He’d never known how easy it was to get swept away by a pretty face until he met Miranda. Basically, her wish was his command.

  He couldn’t help the grin that formed as he sauntered toward her. It had been too long since he’d held her in his arms. Jah, she was a sight for sore eyes.

  Instead of standing to greet him with a kiss, though, she stayed planted in the swing. The uneasiness was back, causing goosebumps to race up his arms.

  He took the swing beside her. “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  “Is…is something going on?”

  Her eyes widened. “Why do you say that?”

  He shrugged, attempting to remain casual. “I have a feeling.” He frowned. “When we were on the phone, was your brother in your room with you?”

  “My brother?” She shook her head. “No. Look, Sammy. The reason I wanted you to come here is because we need to talk. It’s serious.”