The Midsummer Wife (The Heirs to Camelot Book 1) Read online

  “Secondly, as king, you’ll need to wield your personal, mortal power to put the nation together. Harper will help you, but he’ll also help me create Goddessian worship in Britain—the beginnings of the new age I spoke of.”

  “I see.” He folded his hands together and leaned back.

  “A separate function for us was to find you a suitable mate, one who would help you accomplish what you need to do politically. I have quite a file on the possibilities.” Ava held up the hand with the ring he gave her. “Found her.”

  Ron didn’t laugh. “And this new age can’t be accomplished if we’re together? Only with Harper?”

  Ava shook her head. “I have no idea. I’m in uncharted water here.” She looked into his eyes, so icy now. “Things have moved so fast, I haven’t had time to think through what we should do next. I’ll let the Sisterhood worry about it.”

  “But this is a serious concern for you,” he said.

  “It was. But now, with the Goddess saying it’s entirely possible we’ll fail...well, no one’s really focused on what comes next. I just spent an hour saying goodbye to people who fully expect me to die.”

  The coldness disappeared. “They said goodbye to you?”

  “I don’t know what happens from here, Ron. I really don’t. All I can do is live in each moment. The Goddess says it may be possible I’m strong enough. I hope so.”

  “And what is it between us?” he asked. “I know Anya shared her love between Merlin and the king.”

  “Wait here.” Ava went to her purse and withdrew her copy of The Book of Anya. She sat back next to him. “Listen to what she says about a conversation she had with King Arthur. They were talking about his complex relationship with the Guinevere and how Arthur tolerated her relationship with Lancelot.” Ron nodded for her to go ahead.

  “Arthur said: ‘I have loved three women in my life, Anya. You, Gwen, and Morgaine. Of them all, you are the one who most captures my heart. Why I must share you and Gwen with other men, some deity some day may finally tell me. And Morgaine…it turns out she was always my enemy, and I knew it not.’”

  “Arthur loved Morgaine?” Ron said, alarmed.

  Ava laughed at his expression. “I told you this was complicated. The Goddess explained to me that she created Arthur as the male political power and Morgaine as the female spiritual power—She likes to balance everything.”

  “But then Morgaine became Arthur’s enemy,” Ron said.

  “Right. The Goddess saw Morgaine give in to hate and fear, thus destroying Her plan to bring about the new age. That’s why She created Anya as the spiritual counterbalance to Merlin, and probably why Anya was attracted to him so strongly. But the Goddess pushed Anya into bearing both Merlin’s and Arthur’s sons. Then, the Goddess created Arianrhod, thus launching the lines to start the new plan that would result in our now.”

  “The Goddess told you all this?” Ron asks.

  “More or less, yes.”

  “I’m having a hard time accepting this.”

  “I understand what you mean. When I walked out of the Circle, I was very upset and confused. Fortunately, Harper was there with a blanket. I’m not sure I could have even gotten back to the house, if he hadn’t been there to stabilize me at that moment.”

  “Wait,” Ron said, and Ava could feel him becoming upset. “Didn’t I hear you had to be naked in the Sacred Circle?”

  Uh-oh. “Yes, I wasn’t wearing any clothes. Yes, Harper saw me in the nude. Yes, he held me in the blanket for some time. He was a gentleman. I made clear to him that you and I were together.”

  He stared at Ava quietly for some time, dark blue eyes flashing. She made sure to think nothing at all. “You’re telling the truth,” he said finally.

  “Yes.”

  He looked away and shook his head.

  “What?”

  “Harper’s been my best friend my whole life, and I just had this mad, intense feeling of jealousy at the mere thought of him being with you.”

  Ava took his hand, determined to say what she must in that moment, lest she lose him utterly. “Last night, after we made love, you said something that made me realize what was happening. There was a light in your eyes, and your voice changed. You said you wouldn’t share me again. And I felt your soul. I realized then who and what we are.”

  “Yes.” Ron nodded slowly. “It was an odd feeling. I felt myself speaking, but wasn’t really in control. And then you called me ‘beloved,’ and your eyes seemed different. You even had a different accent.”

  “Exactly. That’s when I realized we were actually King Arthur and Anya.” Ava picked up the book again. “What I wanted you to see here was particularly the phrase: ‘Why I must share you and Gwen with other men, some deity some day may finally tell me.’ Ron, Arthur did get to ask the Deity—the Goddess—that question.”

  “What are you saying?” he asked, looking puzzled.

  “When I was in Anya’s Grove, I asked the Goddess why I was so drawn to you. Why we feel the way we do about each other. She said that you—the Arthur you—demanded that we be together in this life or you would not participate in the needs of this time.”

  “I did?” Ron said, clearly not quite following her.

  “You blackmailed a Goddess to get me.”

  His brows were knitted together. “But does the Goddess think that’s a good idea? You and I, rather than you and Harper? I mean, you just said you and Harper are the better pair to make happen this new age of yours. The Goddess apparently said you have to work with Harper to defeat Morgaine. And, well, how does Harper feel about this?”

  “To answer in reverse order: Harper was attracted to me at first, and a little jealous. But he’s now realized that you and I are for each other. As to whether I can work effectively with him while you and I are married?” Ava shrugged. “I don’t know. I want to be with you, not him. So we’ll just have to deal with that as it comes.”

  He still looked troubled.

  “What?”

  “I don’t know why, but I’m terribly disappointed that Anya didn’t love Arthur the whole time,” Ron said.

  How do you fix the disappointments created from the past life? “I know that she—I—loved Arthur in the end. It devastated her—me—when he—you—died. Wow, these pronouns for the past life are tricky!” He only barely smiled. “But I will tell you this, I have loved no one else in this life. I was in an almost two-year relationship with a man and couldn’t form more than a weak attachment. In fact, I thought I was unable to love anyone until last night.” Ava placed his right hand on her heart and the other on her temple. “You say you have truthsense. Use it. I love you. Here. Now. I’ve never loved anyone else besides you.”

  Ron stared into her eyes for a long time. Ava wished she could open her mind to him, share with him all that she was. It would be so much easier. He would see that she could not lie about her love for him. But all she had was his truthsense and her need to show him he was the only one for her.

  Finally, he gasped and kissed her. Ava almost burst into tears, she was so relieved. They kissed for a long time. “Yes. You’re all mine in this life.”

  Ava placed her hands on either side of his face. “I am. And you are mine. What happened in the last life, we cannot change. But this life is for us!”

  “Let’s go upstairs,” he whispered.

  They went up and into his room. She started toward the bathroom. “Excuse me a moment.”

  “Don’t take off your clothes,” he said.

  She peeked back around the door. “What?”

  “I like the undressing part.” He waggled his eyebrows.

  Ava giggled. That is one sexy man! She turned off the mental journal, had a pee and a quick sponge bath, then went back out.

  He was standing, staring into the fire. His smile pierced her heart. She went to him and they kissed a long time. He kissed along her cheek to her ear, then slowly kissed, licked, and sucked the edge of it.

  Shivers shot down her bo
dy, and her skin felt as if there are sparkles lifting off her pores. “I take it you have a thing about ears.”

  “Um, I do,” he said, taking her lobe between his teeth. “Which is why I couldn’t fail to notice this little fellow back here.” He tapped the switch for her mental journal. “I was wondering when you were going to get around to telling me what that was.” He kept her in his arms, but the look he was giving her was less than loving.

  Will we ever get to the point where I won’t be on the verge of losing him? “It’s a mental journal—which is off right now, if you’ll please notice,” she said.

  “I’ve heard of those. It can record your thoughts?”

  “My thoughts and what I hear. Every fifteen minutes, it uplinks to the Motherhouse satellite.”

  Those blue eyes became the color of cold steel. “That’s more advanced technology than I’ve heard of,” he said.

  “Well, the tech stuff is actually an aid to our native psi abilities. We have a division working on things like this, rather like Harper’s Eight Lights,” she said.

  “And you were going to tell me you were recording and reporting on me, on us…when?”

  “Um, never? Never was seeming like a really good idea.” All this sneakiness and look where it gets me. “It wasn’t on in the Grotto, or last night when we were together. And, as I said, it’s not on now.”

  He was just barely touching her, but he hadn’t let her go, either. “How do you expect me to trust you when you do things like this?”

  Ava rested her forehead on his shoulder. I’m really played out. I can’t stand all the games. “Many of the Sisters have had dreams and visions that things will go poorly here. They want to know when things go awry and exactly how I fail. Everything—every tiny thing—is important for evaluating how things happen.”

  “You always expected to fail?” he said, looking alarmed.

  “I was sent here to see if I could prevent it from falling apart.” Have I lost him? “Shall I go away now?”

  In answer, he held her tightly, almost crushing her against him. “I love you. I can’t stop loving you. But you make it damned hard to have faith in you.”

  “I understand.”

  “Do you have any more secrets?” he asked.

  “Thousands.”

  “Which ones should know?”

  “Eventually, maybe all of them. There are some that you’ll find so strange that I may lose you. Let me just do this a step at a time. Please, beloved?”

  “You are really pushing me to my limits,” Ron said.

  Ava nodded. “I love you. That’s the most important thing. I would never hurt you or do anything to cause you harm.”

  He kissed her again, and she could feel him holding back. But then there was that powerful electrical connection between them, and then they were kissing in that exciting, cares-to-the-wind way. He gave her a peck on the nose and led her to the side of the bed. Slowly, they begin to undress each other, and he kissed each area as it became exposed. No one had ever done that to Ava before. She felt cherished and treasured. It was exhilarating and strangely, a little humbling to be caressed that way. She tried to make sure he felt the same from her.

  Ron slipped off her shirt. Slowly, he turned her to take off her bra. He started to kiss her shoulders, then stopped. “What?” Ava felt his fingers trace the image on her back. “Ava, what is this?”

  And almost immediately we hit one of the things that could send him running from me. “The High Priestess receives this tattoo after she’s consecrated. It’s almost an after-image of what the priestesses see when she enters into the Goddess flame.” Ava had been careful not to let him catch a glimpse of it the previous night. It was easy in the low light and their haste to have each other.

  “They’re...wings,” he whispered, unhooking her bra and casting it away. His fingers traced the lines of the tattooed golden feathers from Ava’s shoulder blades, up to her shoulders, then back down her sides. There were pin feathers inscribed on the backs of her arms, and he followed their lines, too. She felt his fingers trail down to the top of her pants. “How far down do they go?”

  “You’ll have to find out,” she whispered.

  Ron’s hand slipped around to her front and unhooked her pants. He slid them down and peeled off her panties, tracing the feathers on her skin so gently. Desire built in her like a bonfire. No one had ever dared touch those drawings that way. Helmut had looked at them once, and then made a point of ignoring them ever after. He preferred they make love under the covers or even half-clothed.

  “Still haven’t found the ends yet,” Ron said, mostly to himself. He let her pants slide to the floor. “Wow, that is a huge tattoo. Did this take a long time?”

  “Yes.” Ava was enjoying the feeling of his fingers. “And I couldn’t sit down for almost two weeks!”

  Slowly, he traced the lines of her tattooed feathers down to the tips, just above the inside of her knees. “Ava, do you...do you have wings? Real ones?”

  “It’s a psychic manifestation that looks like wings. It’s just a way for minds to conceptualize a shape the High Priestess’ soul takes in the presence of the Goddess. We think. It’s hard to explain.” He’ll either accept this about me, or push me away. “But no, I can’t fly, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  “Are you, are you an angel?” His fingers kept tracing the feather drawings.

  Ava laughed. “Keep stroking my behind like that, and I’ll show you how very un-angelic I am.” She peered around at him. His lips were parted, and an expression of wonder was on his face as he gazed at the design on her back. “Pretty freaky, huh?”

  Ron giggled almost drunkenly, and she realized he was having trouble dealing with reality. “My fiancée is some sort of winged spirit from time to time. Freaky. Yeah.” He shook his head. “But then, I’m King Arthur reborn, so who am I to talk?” He traced the right wing from the top of her shoulder, down her side, down her thigh. “What does this look like when they’re activated?”

  Ava shrugged, and he gasped. She could only imagine how that gesture must have affected the tattoos. “It looks pretty much like I sprout very large, golden wings. I used to love to watch Granny when she did it during the bigger ceremonies.”

  “Could you do it now?” he asked.

  “It doesn’t happen outside of the Sacred Circle. And believe me, I’ve tried.”

  Slowly, he began to trace the lines of the left wing with his tongue. He paused. “Every step of the way, each time you reveal more, I become more intensely in love with you. And more afraid to lose you or share you,” he said.

  The feeling of his tongue on the tattoos was so exquisite, Ava was almost unable to speak. He slid his hands around her waist and began to stroke her stomach while running his tongue slowly up her spine.

  Oh, Goddess, I’m going to melt! “Ron?”

  “Yes, darling?”

  “Do you mind if I lie down while you do that? I’m about to pass out from the sensations you’re creating.”

  He chuckled, then picked her up, swinging her around. For a moment, she really felt as if she was flying. Then he laid her down on the bed. Quickly, he shed his clothes and lay down beside her.

  “What happened to undressing and going slowly?”

  “Well, there’s tomorrow to do that.” He kissed her. “I’m going to think of you as my angel.”

  “You’re aware angels don’t have sex, right? I’d be very put out if this didn’t lead to some serious lovemaking.”

  “All right, then. You’re my very sexy flying-whatever lady.” He went back to using his tongue to explore her ink.

  “Much better.” She felt herself surrendering to him—not her Self, or her will—but her defenses were down, totally. She had never been with anyone like him. It was frightening, but in an exhilarating way. No panic attack threatened.

  He ran his tongue down her spine. Both hands traced the lines of the feathers. His touch, his breath, his tongue were producing exquisite shivers
through her skin. She felt like a sheet of silk, drawn tight and slowly through a ring. Ron worked his way down from her shoulders, down her torso, over the small of her back.

  He spent a long time tracing the tiniest of lines on her behind. With each flick of his tongue, her desire built and built, so that when he started down her thighs, she simply exploded in ecstasy.

  He finished his exploration of the feather tattoos inside her knees as she came, shivering, back to Earth.

  Then he was back at her lips. Ava wanted him so intensely, she was sure she would go mad if she didn’t have him that minute.

  He rolled her over and worked his way down to her pussy. His tongue on her love knob was like a lightning stroke. Ava leaned forward to watch him take her. The sight was as delicious as the feeling. He saw her hungry look, grinned, and sucked harder. His fingers slipped into her, and it felt as if he was burrowing deep into her.

  She ran her fingers through his black hair, trying not to clutch at it. But it was oh-so-tempting to grasp his head and shove him harder into her aching core. She wanted him to melt into her. White hot lust was building, and then she was shouting while starbursts fired up her spine.

  Ava sank back onto the bed, panting and shivering.

  He kissed his way up, chuckling. “That was definitely not angelic,” he whispered.

  “Let me show how you how not-angelic I am.” Ava pushed him on his back, her tongue thrusting deeply into his mouth. She tasted herself on him, and it excited her more. He stroked her nipples, and when she pressed into him, he took her breasts and lightly squeezed them.

  She took him in to herself, but it wasn’t enough. Ava sat up, drawing his legs up so she could rest against his knees. Slowly, she slid up and down him, until he was sheathed deep inside her.

  Ron stroked her thighs with his fingertips, making her muscles shiver. On and on they pressed each other, until at last she felt as if they were in a towering spiral of flame, their passion so hot it might burn the room.

  A long time later, Ava came back to herself. He was cradling her and watching her with so much love in his eyes.