Cut & Blow: Book 1 Read online

  Ailee places the snacks on the coffee table and sits on the wingback chair separate from her friends, pulling out her phone and balancing it on the arm rest.

  I am focused on her, on the way she tucks her leg under her and dangles the other over the opposite arm of the chair. Her eyes keep glancing to her phone like she is waiting for something, or someone, to call or text her.

  Once she settles in to watch whatever the other two started watching, she’s sucked in. Her eyes are wide, barely blinking so as not to miss anything. Her finger twists her hair, a habit she has when watching TV or reading books, and she chews her bottom lip.

  Every now and then her head tilts to the side, or she frowns, looking confused by what she is seeing, as if she’s trying to decipher it or work it out in her head.

  A throw pillow flies from the sofa and hits her, causing her to laugh and toss it back with some force. It’s at this moment that I shift so I can see what is on the screen. Even with the glare and the bad angle there is no mistaking that it’s porn.

  I choke on nothing and find myself scratching through my backpack for a drink of water to kill the frog that got stuck in my throat. When I eventually catch my breath, and find my way back to the perfect spot on the roof, my eyes are immediately drawn to the television. I shift around so the angle is better and I can see more.

  It’s not just ordinary pornography. As I watch with the rim of the binoculars pushed hard against my face, my grip is so tight my knuckles whiten. On the screen are two men and one woman. She’s a typical blow-up-doll style, fake breasted, adult film star. One man is decidedly older than the other, his silver hair and beard the only telltale signs, his body in peak condition, defined and oiled to catch the light for the camera, while the other has much lighter skin and far less hair – everywhere.

  When I catch myself I can’t believe I’m watching this from a building across the street. I have lost my mind, this has finally gone too far. I used to just watch her so I could get to know her, but this is crazy.

  Panning around so my wife comes into sight, I see her chewing on her finger and concentrating on the screen, and a knot forms in my stomach when I realize my wife is curious about the man I spent almost all day learning about.

  Trent Walsh has her attention enough to make her curious. This is worse than I thought it would be. His confession had me hoping they’d just part ways and I could stop feeling whatever this ticking time bomb feeling is.

  Her cheeks are red, and she shifts in her seat uncomfortably without taking her eyes off the screen. I move to see what they are seeing and get caught up in it. My own brow wrinkles as I wonder how it’s even possible for some of their positions to even be possible for the human body.

  More alarming is the way my body is reacting to what my eyes are spying on through the binoculars. My skin is heating and my dick hardening, as I watch him fuck him, fuck her. Three bodies writhing in the most erotic way.

  I had never considered two men together as sexy, in fact I’d never given two men together any thought. Yet something about the thought of that one woman between two men has me hot, and bothered, on a rooftop with binoculars imprinting circles into my face.

  This is ridiculous, I have pornhub on my phone, I could just watch my own porn, but I cannot rip myself away.

  When the credits roll I look at Ailee again. Her face is red and she looks ashamed and shy as her friends have a go at her, laughing and tossing pillows. She straightens and looks upset with them, but they pull her into an awkward group hug in which she just stands with her arms at her side.

  The receptionist cleans up the empty bowl and soda cans while the two girls have a talk that involves a lot of hand gestures.

  Minutes later a taxi honks out front and Ailee’s guests leave.

  Pulling up my sleeve I see it’s after four in the afternoon, the day is almost gone. I should go home. I should just go.

  But, I don’t.

  I take out my smartphone and open pornhub, and eat an energy bar while I watch.

  * * *

  With my curiosity satisfied I pick up the binoculars and look to see what my wife is doing. I find her curled in the corner of the sofa, doing exactly what I had just been doing, satisfying curiosity and watching bisexual porn.

  The discomfort in her body-language shows and I know that the arousal I am feeling is mutual; we both liked what we witnessed. The temptation to jerk off up here is strong, yet it feels wrong and I resist it.

  With her phone in her hand she texts someone as she turns off the TV and switches on lights. The day is fading into night.

  Ailee goes to her bedroom and I have to move to see her in there. Collecting my things I change to a spot where I can watch as she strips out of her clothing, leaving a messy pile on the floor next to the hamper. I twitch, wanting to reach in there and put them in the basket two paces away from where they lie.

  In a moment a switch goes off, my mind does that hazy thing where I forget all the reasons this is so wrong and I pack my things and climb back down. Dumping my gear in my truck, I grab the little gold key and walk to the garden bench spot. It’s still light enough to get caught, so I am constantly looking over my shoulder. When Ailee goes into the bathroom and I know the door has clicked closed, I go inside.

  Breaking and entering is something I learned young. In my family business we need certain skills, and this is one of them. Only, in any other case, I wouldn’t touch anything I didn’t have to.

  Don’t move things, leave no evidence of your presence, but I don’t care if she knows I was here, in fact I know she knows someone was in here. Her mind couldn’t play those sorts of tricks on her.

  I have a sickly satisfying feeling knowing that I am playing a game with her, like it’s payback. I know she didn’t wrong me, I let her go, I did it, but I always assumed she’d come to me once she was ready.

  The sound of the running water in the shower drowns out my gentle footsteps as I enter her bedroom, pick up her clothing and put it in the hamper. Her mess annoys me, even from afar.

  A sound from the bathroom makes me spin around. I get a fright and go stiff so that my movements don’t make a sound.

  Holding my breath I listen, hearing the running water, and then I hear it again, a low moan just audible over the water.

  Moving closer to the door, my steps quiet on the carpet in here – I want to hear her voice. It was like music as I listened to her in the diner. My ear to the door I focus on just the sounds, close my eyes and listen. If I stay still and strain my ears, I can hear her heavy breaths and soft moans. Oh God.

  I know what she is doing as her voice vibrates over the gushing water hitting the tiled floor, and I imagine her skin wet and the room filled with warm steam. In my head I see her on the bed as she was when I watched, her fingers moving to pleasure herself. My already hard cock is straining against my jeans as I try to adjust myself so that it’s not so uncomfortable, but it does nothing to relieve the desire throbbing in me.

  “Ahh.” A moan. “Hmm.” I whimper. Fuck it.

  I undo the button on my fly and grip my dick hard. I can smell her flowery perfume floating out from underneath the door, and the light from the keyhole taunts me with what lies beyond the wooden barrier between us.

  I bend my knees, squatting down so that I can look through it, and the limited view it gives me is frustrating, but I can see the shower glass misted over with condensation, and the outline of her body as her back arches off the wall and her hand moves between her thighs.

  The shadowy outline dances, bends and bucks, and her moans become louder when her inhibitions fall with the water. My hand matches hers as I jerk myself off, my legs aching from the position I have to maintain to see her. Fast reaching the point of no return, she finishes herself off and I watch her slumping back against the wall looking up at the roof. A sudden envy grips me. We should be doing this – together.

  I stand and stalk over to the side of the bed where she sleeps, and free my dick from my pan
ts completely. Fisting it until I cum, angry, hot semen leaves me and lands all over her fresh linen, while I glare at the closed door between us, watching for the handle, but I can still hear the water.

  Zipping up, I open the bedside drawer, pull out the ring she has hidden away twice, and toss it in the mess I left for her.

  Maybe now she will get my message, a little louder and clearer. I leave the room quickly and quietly, slipping out, and making my way to my truck without being seen.

  On the drive home I am overcome with guilt and utter confusion. I am actually starting to worry about my own sanity and the sudden escalation in my obsession with my young wife.

  Watching has changed. She’s not a child anymore and seeing her does things to me that I am not capable of controlling. A flash in my mind of what I would do if I got my hands on her makes me pull over, stopping my car.

  I rest my head on the steering wheel and try to pull myself together. I am going to have to stop this. I need a better plan, because like this I am going to lose control and do something more regrettable than what I just did.

  I cannot believe I just came all over her bed, marking my territory like an animal.

  * * *

  After my lapse in judgement, I spend all night coming up with a solution for my lack of self-control, and arrange for some security upgrades to be made to her building.

  I’m not sure why I have never thought of it. Maybe I just liked the way it was, being close to her even when she didn’t know I was right there. I liked having the control and that no one else knew what I was doing, but I can’t trust myself anymore.

  This morning, while she works, there will be cameras installed for my viewing pleasure, in every corner of her home; no longer will any part of her life be hidden from me.

  I won’t lie, there is excitement bubbling inside me as I wait in anticipation for the little app on my smartphone to go live and give me the means to watch without the temptation of touching.

  “Rain. Are you listening to me or playing Candy Crush?” my father barks at me. We are busy with family stuff, work things that I should be paying better attention to.

  “Listening, sorry.” I put my phone in my pocket.

  “I need you the next few days, son, this shipment is important. The Russians won’t take kindly to us fucking it up. You know I want to retire one day, you have to be able to do this, Rain. Could you just pay attention for ten minutes?”

  “I’m listening, I swear. I won’t be running off, I promise I am all in on this, Papa.” I don’t need to follow her around, Gina will keep tabs and let me know what I need to know while she is at work, and I can keep an eye on her at home. My father quirks an eyebrow at me, an unspoken question. “It’s under control. I know I need to put business and family first. I am working on sorting out all my problems.”

  My father gives me reassuring smile. He has been patient with me while I found my place in the family and business.

  We spend all day working on a large shipment of guns that will be coming in for the Russians. Coordinating it is time consuming and takes my mind off everything else.

  By the time we sit down for a family dinner at my uncle’s restaurant downtown, with my sisters and Nonna, I have almost forgotten about Ailee.

  After our meal my father leaves with my grandmother, and my sisters and I are left to enjoy a coffee.

  “Not out being a stalker tonight then?” Viviana throws the first punch in a fight that I knew would come.

  My sisters don’t relate to me, they are so young and have none of the responsibility on them that I do. “Are we really going to start this? It’s getting really old now. Leave it alone, Viv.” She has that vicious, catty look in her eyes, and I know she’s in a mood.

  “I think I should go get a haircut, maybe tell my sister how you like to watch her sleep.”

  “Leave her alone, Viviana. Don’t make me tell Papa about your little boyfriend. Because I will.”

  Val laughs from her side of the table. “You opened the door for that, Viv, you should really get a life and mind your business.”

  My sisters are obviously in the middle of a twin fight, I have watched these over the years. As toddlers they’d lose it and smack one another, but as they got older it became more manipulative and vindictive. They can be the two bitchiest humans I have ever encountered when they go all out with each other.

  “Trouble in twin land I see?”

  “No.” They both snap in unison, but clearly don’t mean it. I just laugh at my sisters.

  “Viv, bring him to lunch on Sunday. You can’t keep it secret forever and I will help you with Papa.” My dad is intense when it comes to the girls; they are dead scared to bring a boy home.

  I have a gut feeling this is the problem, and that Valentina, who is usually the voice of reason, has told her the same thing.

  “That’s not what it’s about.” Viv seethes while glaring at her mirror image. “Why don’t you ask Valentina why she’s telling me to mind my own business.”

  “I’m going to guess it’s because you are a nosy, invasive bitch.” They are such fucking children, I don’t have time for their games. “But, care to share?” I ask my less vocal, usually more responsible sister.

  “Leave it alone, Rain, she’s just looking for shit.” I can almost hear her nails scratching lines into the wooden table between them.

  “Val is leaving,” Viv blurts out. “She got into an out of state College and she’s going. She hasn’t told dad yet either.”

  I want to lean across the table, grab her by the neck, and shake the shit out of her, but I take a minute to let it sink all the way in. “Valentina? Are you planning to go away?” My father will shit his pants.

  “I leave in a week, and start the new school year there.” She’s so calm and collected about this.

  “Are you fucking mad?”

  “I’m twenty-one, Rain. He can’t stop me anymore. I am done living here, in the shadow of my perfect twin sister.” Her dagger glare returns to Viv. “If you tell him, I will go visit your wife. I’m sure she’d love to know about those fancy new cameras.” How does she even know? My confusion must be visible. “I know everything, Rain. I’m quiet but I see things. I’m going to study business so I can come back and help you. Because we all know your heart isn’t in the business. You get it because you have a dick, I want it because I can do it better. I will come back and help you not fuck it up completely, but you have to let me leave for now. Papa is never going to allow me to do this any other way.”

  I want to scream at her to fucking take it, but I’m so confused. This all came from nowhere. No wonder there is so much tension between them. My other sister aspires to be a trophy wife.

  “How long have you two been keeping this secret?” I look between them. “And who else knows about it?”

  “It doesn’t matter, I am leaving while you and him are busy with the Russian deal. Just keep him distracted, Rain. Viv will get over herself and drop the boyfriend bomb, so that my exit isn’t noticed.” Oh, she has this all worked out.

  “And when he notices you are gone? You got a plan for that?” She looks at her twin and I completely understand it now. “That won’t work forever. You can’t have the flu every Sunday.”

  We talk for a while longer, with my sisters on better terms when we leave. I think they feel better knowing I know, and that I will help – because fuck it I’d run if I could.

  Viv is going to need so much attention and coddling when Val does leave. They’ve never been apart. Never, not even for a summer camp or a slumber party. They live together, go to school together, and they probably pee together.

  I get home and open the app to see what Ailee is doing. I wonder if her life feels as complicated as mine does? But, her home is empty in complete darkness and she’s not in it.

  Maybe I went too far yesterday? Maybe I scared her away from her home.

  Where is she?

  I call Gina. The old woman doesn’t text, so it warrants an
actual phone call.

  “Gina.”

  “Rainieri.”

  “Where is Ailee?”

  “She went home with the boyfriend. Something upset her. She came into work rattling like she was up all night. Spent all day looking like she was afraid.”

  “Thanks Gina.” I hang up, that’s all I needed to know.

  I have driven her right to him. Fuck.

  Something is going to have to change because I want to commit a hideous murder right now. I can’t have this distracting me much longer.

  It’s time my wife and her boyfriend understand who she belongs to.

  Nine

  Bleach

  AILEE

  There is nothing as violating as knowing someone has been in your space, touching your things. I know because I’ve had that feeling a few times now, but nothing like this.

  I know what it is the minute I see it. Again that fucking ring is out, and fear edges its way into my mind.

  Someone is coming into my home. Maybe I should call my father, but maybe it’s someone he hired to try to scare me straight. Which is what I keep telling myself. He did have Gina talk to me.

  Maybe he has some sicko following me, I wouldn’t put it past him. I’ve seen him cut peoples fingers off and know he’s crazy. I consider calling my mother, but she would turn this into a huge drama and cause more chaos.

  Torn between facing this alone or telling my family, I decide I can handle it. So far it’s not been anything threatening. The jizz all over my bed is a tad creepy and gross, but nothing is making me feel like I may get murdered in my sleep.

  I take a spare comforter from the closet and the pillow off the opposite side of the bed, leaving the mess there. My stomach churns thinking of cleaning it, so I just don’t. I settle on the couch, the warm fuzzy-feelings of earlier replaced with worry and the sick sense that I am not alone at all.

  I text Trent and we exchange flirty messages for a while, before we arrange to go out after work tomorrow. Call it morbid fascination, but after watching those movies with Chelsey and Alistair, I am far less intimidated by his confession. They got me all flustered. And he said he only dates one person at a time, so maybe we can still make it work out.