Dangerously In Love Read online

  “I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I thought this was what you wanted.”

  “I did.”

  “Then what? Did I hurt you?”

  “That’s not it,” I sobbed.

  “Do you think I’m judging you? Because I’m not.”

  “You may not be judging me. But I’m judging me. I’ve waited twenty-four years to make love, and I do it with a stranger. How pathetic is that?”

  London jumped up in surprise and looked me directly in my eyes. “You were a virgin?” he asked incredulously.

  “Uh-huh,” I said, and shook my head.

  “But how? Why? I mean, why me? I don’t even know you. I mean . . . not like that. I’m flattered . . . I’m just confused.”

  “Look, I can’t understand this, either. This is hardly how I pictured my first time. And you’re hardly the vision I’ve been seeking for years.”

  “But you should have told me. I would have been easier on you. Was I too rough?”

  “Truthfully, you were perfect,” I said, and closed my eyes and wondered if I’d ever see London again.

  “You were great, too,” he said, but his voice told another story.

  He embraced me and wouldn’t let me go. After a while we both drifted off into a peaceful sleep. Somewhere in the middle of the night, I showered away most of my shame. Softly I crept out of London’s brownstone, leaving a short poem for him.

  London

  Last night Jovie and I made love, and it scared the shit out of me. When she told me she was a virgin, I nearly lost it. Had I known that, I would never have slept with her. I’m at a place in my life where sex is casual and entertaining. I love not having any strings attached. Sleeping with someone who gives you their virginity—there’s sure to be problems. And why me? As irresistible as I claim to be, I realized that I didn’t exactly sweep her off her feet in twenty-four hours. Did I?

  Now when I think about her actions and movements, I can assess that it was her first time. She was a little stiff and unsure. The more I thought about last night, the more intrigued I became with her. Why didn’t she wait to be with someone who would have appreciated her? Don’t women want their first time to be special? Romantic?

  This morning I’d woken up with intentions never to call Jovie again. Then I smelled her scent on my sheets . . .

  After I’d showered, I’d gotten over her again—until I went in the kitchen and found a poem scribbled on a piece of paper.

  I let you in for a moment and we made a love song

  Our bodies gently hummed rhythms and melodies

  As the intense feelings lingered on

  A sharp, B minor, C flat . . .

  I’ll let you have your way with me

  But only if you’d like that

  This girl was tugging at my heart, and it was unsettling. After taking hours to come up with the right approach to calling Jovie, I remembered that she’d left her portrait. I wrapped it up in a beautiful burgundy crushed-velvet covering and tied it with a black beaded ribbon and headed over to her place. I was hoping that I wasn’t being intrusive by dropping by uninvited.

  It was a bit late when I arrived, and I was sure she’d be home from work. I could hear loud music blaring from the apartment, so I had to bang hard to be heard.

  “Who is it,” an aggressive voice yelled.

  “It’s London.”

  “Who?”

  “London.”

  The door swung open and there stood Jovie with a blank expression. She had on a pair of skintight Seven jeans, a pair of high-heeled Prada boots and a black turtleneck T-shirt that read: MELODRAMATIC BRAT, which complemented her small upper-body frame.

  “What do you want?” she asked. She looked somewhat different. Wild.

  “I came to apologize for last night and to bring over your painting.”

  “You must be looking for Jovie,” she said.

  “You’re not Jovie,” I said.

  She put her hands on her hips, “You’ve got to be joking. Come in.”

  It was then that I realized this must be Jada, Jovie’s twin sister. She pranced around the apartment like a panther. There was confidence in her steps as she led me to the living room. Jovie was correct when she had said they were identical. The only difference was their attitudes.

  “So what’s going on with you and my little sister?”

  “Little sister?”

  “She’s two minutes younger than I am. So, again, what’s the deal with you and Jovie? She came in all flustered, and now you’re here bearing gifts and talking apologies.”

  “It’s really a situation Jovie and I need to deal with.”

  “Listen, if you think I’m going to sit back and watch my sister get her heart broken by some predator—”

  “You don’t know me!” I yelled.

  “And I don’t want to know you. But if you don’t want to get on my bad side, you’d better back off my sister!” she yelled back. We were in her apartment having a shouting match. This girl really thought she could tell me what to do. I’m a grown-ass man. And her sister is grown as well.

  “Look, I don’t take kindly to threats but I understand where you’re coming from. You don’t have anything to fear. I’m a good catch and one day I’ll make the right woman happy. If your sister plays her cards right, she just may be the one,” I reasoned.

  “The one? All that means is that she’ll be first in line to get her heart broken.”

  “You’ve got me mixed up. I’m not that dude,” I said convincingly, forgetting about all the women I’d hurt in my past.

  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Jovie isn’t like your average girl.”

  “Of course I’ve noticed. I’ve noticed that she’s someone special. Not average. And I like her.”

  “She’s vulnerable. Did you know she’s a virgin?” she spat, and her words made me feel guilty.

  “That’s her personal business, and I don’t think you need to be broadcasting that around.”

  “Well, the last asshole she was dating dumped her because he couldn’t wait. Are you going to do that to her? Because if you are, you should just leave right now and never come back.”

  “I’d never do that.”

  “That’s what they all say. I’m begging you to leave my sister alone.”

  The more Jada pleaded with me to leave Jovie alone, the more it made me want to pursue her.

  “Look, where’s Jovie? I need to speak to her,” I said, quite annoyed.

  “She’s not here!”

  “Obviously!”

  I left Jovie’s painting and decided to head back home. I’d meet up with Jovie tomorrow. Hopefully, she’d be working at the diner. I understood her sister’s concerns and why she was so protective of her. But Jovie was an adult. Her sister needed to recognize that.

  Jovie

  “What’s your fantasy?” London asked. He’d called me moments ago to apologize for the other night.

  “I . . . I . . . never thought about it. I don’t have one,” I lied.

  “Of course you have. Everyone has. How did you imagine your first time? I’m a visionary person. Describe it for me.”

  “You’re not interested in that.”

  “Then why am I asking?”

  “Well, I . . . um . . . wanted my first time to be in Aspen. We’d just come in from skiing and snow would have just begun to fall. He’d light a fire, and we’d drink hot chocolate and toast marshmallows by an open fireplace. Then he’d lay me down on an exotic rug and make love to me until the sun came up the next day. I’d feel safe . . . loved. We’d fall asleep in each other’s arms and in the morning he’d still be there.”

  “That’s it? That’s your fantasy? There’s nothing complicated about that.”

  “That depends on who the guy in the picture is.”

  “Are you disappointed that the guy was me?” he asked.

  “I have no regrets.”

  “But are you disappointed that the guy was me?”
he pursued.

  “Shocked, not disappointed. I’m shocked, that’s all,” I explained.

  “Fair enough answer. Listen, be ready tonight, same time.” Click.

  London arrived on time with a beautiful arrangement of long-stemmed yellow roses.

  “These are for you,” he said as he handed the bundle to me. “Yellow is for friendship.”

  I grinned. “They’re beautiful.”

  “Are you all right? You seem a little down,” he observed.

  “I’m just a little tired, that’s all.”

  “Well, I was hoping that we could start over. Put on the brakes and slow it down.”

  “I’d love that,” I agreed.

  “Me too.”

  “Did you know that the first home TV set was displayed in 1928 and the screen size was three by four inches?”

  He chuckled. “What does that have to do with anything?”

  “It’s just an interesting piece of information that not many people know about.”

  “Well, let me thank you for enlightening me.”

  “Are you humoring me, Mr. Phillips?” I asked.

  “Only if you want me to.”

  London drove us to 57th Street in his black Nissan Maxima. There he got out and blindfolded me.

  “What are you doing?” I asked. As the silk scarf lay across my eyes and shut out the light, my adrenaline started pumping. The excitement was suffocating me, and I felt light-headed.

  “I’m getting to know you better. I should have done this sooner.”

  Holding my hand, London led me a few yards away from the car. He helped me to what felt like a carriage and assisted me up into the seat. I could hear a horse kicking its feet.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “To Aspen,” he replied, and took off my blindfold.

  We both sat back in the carriage and snuggled up underneath the blanket. I felt safe. The horse did a slow trotaround Central Park, and London and I had an intimate conversation.

  “Jovie, why me? I keep asking myself that question over and over. If you’d waited so long, why not hold out for marriage, or at least the right guy? What was it that you saw in me that allowed you to give away something so precious to someone you just met?”

  “It seems odd but I can’t explain it. I think I spent so much time guarding my heart and saving myself for the right person that maybe I realized the right person is who you make him to be. If I have a hundred years to ponder, I’ll never be able to explain my actions. But I swear to you I don’t have any regrets.”

  “I’m glad you don’t have any regrets. But I would like to know what you are looking for. I’ve just come out of a long-term relationship where I was hurt. I’m not looking for anything serious. Just maybe a great friendship, and I don’t know if you can handle that.”

  “Someone hurt you?”

  “Yes, she did.”

  I tried to listen intently to London, but the rhythm of each trot from the horse distracted me. Cluck, cluck, cluck. . . . I counted each step. Refocusing my attention on London, I said, “Isn’t it usually the other way around?”

  “No one is exempt from having their heart broken.”

  “I’ll never break your heart,” I promised. He looked at me, then kissed the inside of my palm.

  “You are so sweet, Jovie. I’m going to start calling you my future.”

  I didn’t respond.

  After the romantic carriage ride, we went back to London’s apartment. At his front door, again he blindfolded me and my heart raced from anticipation. Once we were inside his living room, he took the blindfold off. He’d set up my winter wonderland in Aspen. He had the fireplace going and the reddish-orange flames looked so inviting. He also had marshmallows, hot chocolate, and a snowflake shaker.

  “Shake it,” he boasted. “That’ll give you your snowfall.”

  I squealed with delight.

  We sat down on the blanket in front of the fireplace and toasted marshmallows and drank hot chocolate. We talked until the sun came up, just getting to know each other. To my surprise London was a perfect gentleman. He never laid a hand on me. And when we awoke in the morning, London was still there holding me in his arms.

  London

  For the first time in a long time, it wasn’t about sex for me. I genuinely wanted to get to know the quirky Jovie. She made me smile, and I wholeheartedly had respect for her. She had begun to fill my void and mend my broken heart. We started spending all of our spare time together, not to mention countless hours on the telephone with her sexy voice seducing me.

  It’s only been a few weeks, but I feel like I’ve known her longer. Tonight was the first night that she allowed me to spend the night over at her house. We both agreed not to make love again until she was ready. So far, she hasn’t given me the green light. I’m so horny I almost jerked off in the shower. Then I realized that I was taking this whole relationship a tad bit far. There’s no reason I can’t call one of my jump-offs over and smash her out quickly. What Jovie doesn’t know can’t hurt her. Then I thought about my baby’s soft skin and dreamy smile and realized I’d have to wait. The next time she and I make love, I do want it to be special.

  I woke up this morning in Jovie’s bed, but she wasn’t there. Instead, she’d left a short poem.

  I watch you while you’re sleeping and breathe in your scent

  I rush to fall asleep in your arms and race to wake back up in them

  I appreciate your strong embrace and savor your sweet taste

  You’ve awakened me . . . I feel alive

  I must admit I’m not a big fan of poetry, but everything Jovie does excites me. I jumped out of bed and hopped into the shower. The steam was so thick, I couldn’t see my hands. Moments later, Jovie came in from behind and started lathering my back. I jumped because she startled me. She was completely naked except for a pair of four-inch black high heels. Her perky breasts, small waist and round hips had me mesmerized. She looked like an angel.

  “What are you doing?” I asked in astonishment. She didn’t say a word. She began to aggressively massage my balls in a circular motion that drove me crazy.

  “I thought we’d wait,” I protested, but she reached up and slid her tongue inside my mouth. We began kissing passionately. My body was yearning desperately to enter her again. She arched her back as I leaned over and sucked her breasts until her nipples were erect. My tongue flicked rapidly as she held on to the shower door for support. Then I hoisted her up by her hips and wrapped her shapely legs around my waist and entered her as gently as my dick allowed. To my amazement she took all my dick and rode me aggressively. Her pussy was so wet I could hear it talking to me, telling me to go hard.

  “Is it good?” I crooned. She said nothing, but I could tell she was enjoying it from her facial expressions.

  She rode me expertly until I put her down, turned her around and entered her from behind. She leaned over and held on to the shower walls for support. The hot water from the shower was pouring down our backs and I pulled Jovie under further and wet her hair. She looked so sexy submerged in water, I lost my mind.

  We made love three times from the shower to her bed. The last time I came so hard that I was physically drained and exhausted. When I thought it couldn’t get any better, Jovie, my sweet Jovie, went down and engulfed my penis with her mouth. She licked up and down my shaft and sucked my dick like it was her favorite lollipop. I screamed—”Jovie!”—as I came in her mouth. My hot juices flowed with such a force I felt a tingling from my head to my toes.

  We lay in bed for a long moment, just breathing. It was eerily quite. Jovie is certainly a keeper, I thought. I hit the jackpot without even searching. She just fell into my arms. God was definitely looking out for a brother.

  “London,” she said sweetly.

  “Yes, baby-girl.”

  “Jovie will never forgive you for fucking her sister.”

  My heart sank. “What?”

  “Don’t act as if you didn’t h
ave a clue.”

  “Jada?”

  “The one and only,” she gloated.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

  “No, what the fuck is wrong with you? You knew I wasn’t Jovie. You knew that innocent, boring, inexperienced Jovie wasn’t making love to you that good. But you chose to pretend.”

  “Jada, what’s wrong with you?! Why are you trying to ruin it for your sister? I care about her, and I want to make it work. Please don’t tell her about this,” I begged, to no avail.

  “That’s exactly what I’m going to do!”

  “You come in here and spread your legs like peanut butter and want me to take responsibility for your actions!”

  “Our actions!”

  “You’re crazy.”

  “My work here is done,” she said. She stood up still naked, arched her back and put her hands on her sexy hips. I was drawn to her immediately. I was recharged like the Energizer bunny. I jumped up and dug my fingers into her hair. I pulled her neck back and kissed her roughly. We fell back onto the bed, Jovie’s bed, and had fast, frenzied, passionate sex. She reminded me of Su. Wild and sexy in bed. . . .

  Hours later, I ran home to shower off Jada’s juices. I felt so guilty and low. The first time—shame on Jada. The second time—shame on me. How can I even look Jovie in the eye after what happened with me and her sister? And where was Jovie anyway? She never did come home.

  Jovie

  After work today, I had to rush to the Lime Light Café for rehearsal. It’s a trendy jazz and blues bar. The owner is going to let me do a set, three songs a night, for the holiday season to make extra money. Hopefully, I’ll get discovered. A lot of famous people come down to the café. The owner used to be a singer on Motown Records in the 1960s.

  I warmed up with a cappella sets of notes until my voice was strong. I then cued the house band to let them know that I was ready. They were a tremendously talented mix of men who collectively had fifty years of music experience among them. They also knew how grateful I was for this opportunity.

  “Let’s start with ‘Good Morning Heartache.’ Billie Holiday in A minor.”