Shadows of Reality (The Catharsis Awakening Book 1) Read online

“Ah, it’s like having a roommate. Nothing more than that,” Matt said sharply. He caught his attitude slipping out, and reeled it back in. “I’m sorry…yes, it’s frustrating at home. Been for a while now.” Matt didn’t realize it at first, but he was already giving out more information about his personal life than he told anyone.

  Alie reached out and lightly touched his forearm. “It’s okay, I understand. I can tell you’ve been distracted, that’s all.” She retrieved her hand to hold the files with both hands. “I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Some of the office politics are probably getting to you too,” Alie stated while still fumbling with the file folders. “It never stops you know. All the high-level gossip. I’m sure you hear more of it than I do. Management thinks their gossip doesn’t get out and it’s supposed to help figure out their employees but it’s pretty destructive…especially when it leaks out—as it always does.”

  “Oh yeah, I got my hands full. Sometimes I feel like I supervise my bosses just as much as I do my subordinates.”

  “And then there’s this matter of working all the time, no sleep and no play,” Alie said as a matter-of-factly.

  She somehow knows what’s going on inside me. Why? How? Is she just naturally intuitive about people around her? Or is it more than that? Matt shrugged. “Yeah, I know,” his reply was as flat as he felt about his current situation.

  “Well…maybe we should do coffee…sometime. You know, away from here,” suggested Alie.

  “Oh, that’d be great. I’d love too.”

  “I’m more into chai, but figure we could go some place that’s got both,” Alie continued, “I know you like your special coffee,” she added, referring to Matt’s affinity for flavored coffees.

  “Oh, you got my number!” Matt exclaimed with a smile.

  Alie leaned in and gave him a hug. “Hang in there,” she said softly.

  The hug, the compassion in her voice, and the fact that she seemed to care enough to notice the small things in his life were almost too much for him to absorb. Matt started to tear up and he nodded in acknowledgment. “Well…I better get back at it. Thank you, again,” Matt didn’t know what else to say.

  “Be safe, Matt,” Alie told him while her fingers played at the file tabs in her other hand.

  He didn’t reply, pausing briefly, he simply nodded his head and smiled at her before he left the dispatch center.

  He returned to the patrol division and decided he had enough of the confines of the office for the evening. He grabbed his jacket off his chair and stopped in the main hallway to put it on. Grateful that the place was free of the hustle and bustle of the daily activities, the individual offices now barren of the brass that occupied them during the dayshift, he paused to take in the only sounds the building made at this time of night: the low hum of the lights and the forced-air unit running from within the depths of its cinderblock foundation.

  Matt slowly began walking again and rounded the corner of the main hallway leading to the two security doors at the rear entrance. He looked up at the doors and immediately stopped walking as if frozen in place.

  The hairs on the back of his neck bristled, goosebumps pricked his forearms that surged up his shoulders and over the back of his neck and ears. He squinted his eyes in an attempt to bring into focus a silhouette standing just outside the second security door.

  “No…” he whispered to himself.

  Through the glare of the fluorescent lights bouncing off of both the inner and outer security doors, a dark outline of a creature stood motionless just outside the outer door peering back at him with unblinking charcoal-black eyes.

  Matt’s right hand went immediately to his Glock in his holster, and he sprinted toward the silhouette. He hit the lever on the inside security door full-force such that it flung the door wide open. It slammed against the wall-mounted bumper and it bounced back into Matt’s left side, forcing him to spin around.

  The inner door slammed shut and a loud click of the electronic lock echoed off the tiled floor. Matt scanned the outer door. His .40 caliber Glock remained holstered, yet his hand was firmly planted around the grip, ready to draw if need be.

  No silhouette. No creature. No charcoal-black eyes. Only snow cascading down onto the sidewalk just beyond the building’s overhanging roof. Matt remained motionless, searching with his eyes and ears for anything beyond the outer door.

  He relaxed his posture, and slowly removed his hand from his duty weapon. He cautiously walked to the door and peered around the angles the best he could from being inside the building. He eased himself out of the outer door, out into the falling snow. A thin layer of glistening white lay on the sidewalk, parking lot, and the parked patrol trucks. No breeze, all was quiet.

  He peeked around the corner of the building…nothing. He looked around, left then right…still nothing. Matt put his hands on his hips, lowered his head, and said to himself, “What the hell?”

  He peered behind him and studied the doors. He looked forward again, toward the parking lot, and put his hands on his face and pulled his fingers down to his chin, taking a deep breath. With a long sigh, he resigned himself that it was just another illusion. He slowly walked across the sidewalk to enter his patrol truck.

  The rest of the shift passed uneventfully.

  What Matt did not notice when he crept outside—searching for the illusion—was a single, split-hoofed track, imbedded in the freshly fallen layer of snow…that he had stepped on when he exited the building.

  10

  THE CATHARSIS

  Low-level clouds obscured the little town of Evergreen, but the lake on the west side of town was in full sunshine as Matt drove by. He took in the sight as he passed the dam. It felt as though he was traveling into another world as he journeyed onward and began to descend through the white and smoke-gray clouds into the town below. The air was damp and chill. Frost partially blanketed the pines, with glistening white sparkles on their easterly face, but bright green needles, seemingly untouched by winter’s frigid hand, on the other. A marvel to behold.

  He arrived at the coffee shop a few minutes before Alie. As usual, to be early is to be on time. He drew in the morning with each breath: the fresh and crisp smell of the creek that smoothly flowed next to the parking lot caused him to smile. His senses returning from the anesthetized state he’d been operating in during the past workweek. A day off finally, and he quietly reveled in the moment while waiting for Alie.

  She pulled into the lot and gave him her signature finger wave as she drove by to the next available parking space. Matt’s attention shifted when he saw her. He felt a tinge of excitement and guilt at the same time. He told himself that this was nothing more than just two friends meeting for coffee, right? He needed to talk to someone, and Alie seemed to be more of a friend than anyone else in his life at the moment. Besides, he hadn’t been out with a friend for a long time.

  “Good morning,” Alie said with a smile. She walked over to Matt and gave him a quick embrace.

  “Good morning. How are you?” Matt replied.

  “I’m great. The real question is…” she gave him an inquisitive look as they walked toward the coffee shop, “how are you?”

  “Awesome. Just awesome. It’s like a whole other world driving down here from the lake,” Matt explained with genuine excitement in his voice. “Just crazy how the lake is full of sunshine and then there’s this blanket of clouds at the dam.”

  “I know it!” Alie exclaimed. “The fog rolled in last night, kinda came up the canyon from the metro area. I think that’s why the trees have frost on one side and nothing on the other.”

  As they talked, Matt allowed her to walk slightly ahead. Arriving at the entrance to the coffee shop, Alie reached out to grab the door first.

  “Whoa!“ exclaimed Matt. “No you don’t, ma’am.”

  Alie, a bit startled, gave him a puzzled look.

  “Sorry,” Matt offered as he opened the door f
or her, “but, chivalry is not dead, my lady.”

  He caught the small, pleasant smile and look of amazement on her face. “No offense, Alie, I think women should be treated with respect and honor.”

  “No offense taken,” she stated with slight wonderment at this little gesture. “Matt, you’ve always struck me as a knight in shining armor.”

  “Hmm…” he replied with a grin.

  As they ordered their drinks, they agreed not to talk about work. Both decided that their day off should not be interrupted with office politics, the burdens of their duties, or the never-ending drama there.

  They sat in high-back cushioned chairs near a large window facing the creek. The view was crisp and clear, with the added benefit of being ensconced in the warmth of the shop’s ambience.

  “Ah…I love this,” Alie said with sincere contentment.

  “Me too. Just gorgeous.”

  “How’s the mocha?” she asked.

  “Pretty good, thanks. How’s your chai?”

  “Not bad,” Alie answered. She moved a pinch of hair behind her ear. “And thank you. I planned on paying for this myself you know.”

  “Well, really, it’s my pleasure,” Matt answered. “I’m so glad we finally got out.”

  “Me too,” she said excitedly, with a raise of her brows and a quick scoot forward before settling into her seat.

  “Coffee’s on me next time,” Alie proclaimed.

  “Naw, I don’t think so. I couldn’t let—”

  “Shush!” She cut off his protest. “I will pay for the coffee and tea next time,” she said with a sideways glance.

  “I suppose,” he capitulated with a grin. “Is this your last day off?”

  “Yeah, it’s been nice. Very relaxing, and I even got some hikes in the past couple days.”

  “Nice.”

  “How about you, Matt? I know it’s your first day off, but do you have anything fun planned? Going anywhere, doing anything at all?”

  Matt chuckled. “Dunno. Biggest thing on my to-do list was to come here.” He thought for a moment as Alie studied him. “This is the first time I’ll have my whole weekend off in about a month now. Think I’ll just chill out.”

  With a sincere look in her eyes, she said, “You should try to get some sleep. Then go out and do whatever you want. Have some fun, get some rest, and eat some chocolate.” Alie giggled.

  “Ha! I hear ya,” Matt said with a smile.

  They sat quietly together as they sipped at their drinks. Matt appreciated the tranquility that existed between them even in silence. They looked out the window at the same time and watched the glistening trees and the heavy clouds that slowly tumbled by. Matt adjusted himself in his chair.

  “You know, I’ve been having some crazy dreams the past few months,” he said in a low voice to avoid nearby patrons from overhearing.

  “Oh,” Alie replied, while sitting forward in her chair, “like what? Same stuff all the time? Or just random things?”

  “Man, kinda the same stuff. Over and over. Sometimes…” Matt stared at his drink, “I wonder if I’m losing my flippin’ mind with all the stress, work, issues at home—”

  “You’re not losing your mind,” Alie interrupted. “You’re under a lot of stress and you just drive yourself into the ground. You know, I was only half-joking about getting some rest and doing something fun.”

  Matt looked up at her, not knowing how to respond.

  “Please tell me about the dreams. Might do you good to get it off your chest.”

  Matt looked down at his coffee again while unintentionally swirling it around. After he inhaled deeply, he began to tell her of being in battles, seeing her in his dreams, seeing other warriors, and of the elder with the soul-piercing eyes. He told her of seeing dark and strange figures in the middle of his shift at night while driving around (although he left out seeing the silhouette at the rear entry the night before) and of the vision he had on his run.

  “Here I am running with these black horses thundering along next to me. Next thing I know I’m no longer on the Gulch Road, I’m running down a grassy hill, and the same things…creatures…I’ve been seeing at night are trying to kill me!” Matt had put his coffee down on the table and placed both hands on the armrests of the chair, leaning slightly toward her.

  “Then I’m in this battle. I feel the rush of the fight and a heavy sword in my hand,” Matt snickered at the thought, “then it all fades away and I’m standing in the middle of my driveway, Trish is yelling at me, and I have blood running down my arm!” Matt pointed to the scar on his forearm.

  “I remember that,” Alie said, pointing at it. “I mean, you said you didn’t know how you got it. I think you mentioned that you ran too close to a tree branch or something.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I told everyone who asked about it.” Matt sat back in his chair. A sense of relief washed over him. Being able to talk about it to someone felt like invisible bindings were just cut free from his chest and he could actually breathe easier. “I dunno, Alie, it’s so weird. I mean, I feel on the one hand that everything in my dreams feels so real. Like I can feel stuff and smell, hear and see…it all seems so real! Not like other dreams. Yet, on the other hand…I don’t know…I think I’m going freaking crazy. I have no idea what the hell is going on inside me anymore.”

  Alie sat quietly listening. He saw a few expressions on her face that he wasn’t sure about. “Do you think I’m nuts?”

  “Oh no, not at all!” Alie reassured him, leaning toward him and touching his arm. “Thank you so much for sharing. I don’t think you’re nuts at all. It’s just…”

  Matt released the tension in his hands on the armrests. Her touch had a calming effect on him. How refreshing, he thought.

  “Matt, some of what you’ve told me…” Alie looked down and then back at him, “I’ve dreamt too.”

  “Really?” Matt said, then cocked his head back.

  “Yeah, weird…crazy weird…I know…I think, the elder you mentioned, his name is Yeor. At least in my dreams. I’ve spoken with him. You explained him exactly as I have seen him.”

  “Wow…really? Yeor?”

  “Yeah, real stern guy, but in my dreams I feel I can trust him.”

  “This is crazy…” he studied her face. “Do you remember much of your dreams?” Matt asked as he tilted his head toward her.

  “I didn’t at first. I told my sister about some stuff, you know, stress from work, the dreams, and all. The dreams were kinda weird, and I felt like I was always tired when I woke up in the morning. I think it was about three months ago now when I mentioned it to her.” Alie stopped to look out the window. “Yeah, ‘bout three months now. She suggested that I keep a journal and write down my dreams and the stressors in my life.”

  “Tired?” Matt asked. “Same here, sometimes I wake up feeling like I’ve run a hundred miles. Every muscle in my body is hurting or sore and I’m just flat-out exhausted.”

  “Yes.” Alie slightly exhaled. “Funny…do you think…I know this sounds crazy…we’re dreaming of the exact same things at the same time?”

  “No way,” Matt replied, and then sat up, flexed his neck to one side and then to the other side. An undercurrent deep within stirred at the thought. “Well…I don’t know.”

  They stared at each other for a few moments, the hum of the cafe overtaking their conversation briefly.

  “Hmm…so, I said my sister suggested a journal, right?”

  “Okay,” Matt acknowledged.

  “Well, it really helped me. As I wrote out just fragments of my dreams, they seemed to come alive again. I could almost remember every detail.”

  “Mmm…sometimes I can remember quite a bit, then other times, I only remember seeing someone or bits of a battle, or sometimes just a mere feeling of things that occurred.”

  “Yeah, it was like that for me too.” Alie moved a strand of hair. “I let my sister read a few pages and she said it was like a catharsis.”

  “A
car-who?”

  Alie giggled. “A catharsis. Like a way of purging or releasing pent-up emotions through writing. Something like that. My sister explained it better than that, but that’s how I understood it. Makes sense, kinda.”

  “Hmm.” Matt considered the term. “Has it helped? I mean the journaling, or catharsising?”

  Alie giggled again. “You’re so cute.”

  “What?” Matt sincerely asked.

  “I don’t think it’s ‘catharsising.’” Alie smiled. “But, yes. It has helped. Hard to explain, but for me I think it helps to release some of the pressures of life and work. My dreams have been pretty interesting, Matt.” She placed her cup on the table.

  “I’ve got friends to talk to, but…” Alie shrugged her shoulders, “some stuff is just really hard to explain. The stress, the things we deal with at work, it’s so unique. Very few friends outside of law enforcement have any idea what it’s like to take a 9-1-1 call from someone whose husband just keeled over and you’re trying to coach them over the phone in their hysteria to do CPR on him.” Alie looked down and sighed.

  “I hear ya, that was just a few weeks ago,” Matt agreed. “We do experience some crazy stuff out there. Hell, sometimes it takes days to wrap my head around some calls, no less try to have a heart-to-heart talk with someone who’s too busy to listen,” Matt said with a trace of frustration.

  “Exactly Matt! We need to get this stuff off our chests. You’ll go crazy if you don’t talk it out and work through it.” Alie was animated in her delivery. “Writing in the journal has really helped me to sort work and personal stuff out. I felt like a total failure after my divorce a few years ago, and then to start a totally new career dispatching at the same time? Stress off the charts, Matt.

  “Talking with my sister helped during that time, but I always had this pit of nasty pressure, worry, and anxiety deep inside.” Alie relaxed a bit and sat back. “I’m sorry, I get kinda emotional about this stuff.”

  “No, it’s okay,” Matt reassured her, as he sat up slightly. “Please, go on.”