Like Moses delivering forth the Ten Commandments, Chunklet magazine presents you with The Rock Bible--the complete rules for living an authentic life of rock 'n' roll. Here are hundreds of wise and witty guidelines for Drummers: "If you're one of those drummers who sets up at the front of the stage, back the hell up. You are the goalies of rock; play your position." Singers: "When you feel like stage-diving, first make sure the people in the front like your music enough to catch you." Guitarists: "No one's looking at your guitar strap. Don't ever spend more than the cost of an average meal on something that can be replaced by a particularly hearty piece of string." Keyboardists: "There's only one person who will look more ridiculous and offensive in leather pants than the lead singer: the keyboard player." Onstage Antics: "Being wasted onstage works for only about 5 percent of bands, and yours isn't one of them."...
Kelsey is in the middle of a potentially nasty divorce and her job as a preschool teacher won’t get her out of it. She hits rock bottom soliciting men on a Sugar Daddy dating website. Charles is a Billionaire who can't buy love. Michael has been burned and doesn't want to fall in love.*Kelsey It’s a weird topic, right; exchanging sex for money? And Kelsey wanted to seem deeper than that. She was deeper than that, but she was also realistic. Money was the only thing stopping her from feeling stable and secure in life. She worked full time and freelanced, but it wasn’t enough to afford her divorce and sex was the only other marketable asset she had. She didn’t want to look like a gold digger, just a gal with a sex drive who needed help. Aren’t gold diggers looking for marriage? She was hungry for security and a stable life for her daughters. She was so glad to finally be divorcing; marriage was nowhere on her wish list. After spending 15 years in a relationship with someone she didn’t enjoy as a person, she didn’t want to get too involved with anyone. And “those men” on the Sugar Daddy dating website, they didn’t honestly care that they would be “helping an underprivileged girl make ends meet,” they just wanted sex. They wanted to buy their way past the niceties and foreplay and relationship stuff that kept poorer men from getting laid. But they couldn’t admit that without feeling like a jerk, so this was the game she’d signed up to play and she was determined to win. *Charles If you had access to unlimited funds, what would you do?” Kelsey knew where this was leading. As Amanda frequently pointed out, he was obviously a ticket to unlimited financial resources. She feared he was trying to turn the conversation back toward the possibility of their marriage. What kind of woman would engage in this conversation and say, “Oh, unlimited funds? Well, in that case, let’s get married?” No… she wasn’t going to marry for money, especially to a man she cared deeply about who had already suffered through two gold-digging wives. Especially a boisterous morning person who chewed with his mouth open. Especially a man who drank more than 20 bottles of wine a week. Especially a man who couldn’t be bothered to deeply understand her mental and emotional state, and focused single-mindedly on trapping her into marriage without the slightest bit of concern for her healing and self-discovery. She could never marry Charles. She must never let him think it was a possibility. *Michael “She will text me today,” he reassured himself and tried not to obsess about what it would feel like to have a handful of her hair in his hands, pressing her into his mattress while he made her beautiful body shudder again and again. Those were her words, “Again and Again." He hoped her sex drive was as ravenous as his. He was often disappointed to find that women “couldn’t handle” him and he suspected she could. He hoped he was right. He was dying to find out. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he sighed in relief. Annoyed with himself for feeling so giddy, he looked around the conference room at the rest of his team before peeking into his pocket. It was her. Whew. He couldn’t answer the text right away. It was her turn to wait by the phone. This was going to take some time.