Unspeakable Truths Read online

  “You’re never going to lie to me like that again are you Everly?”

  “No.”

  I fist my hands, still tied behind my back as he lands another smack on the opposite side, equally as painful.

  “Will you ever make a decision that affects us without consulting me again?”

  “No.”

  “Should I keep on? The list is long of the shit I can punish you for.”

  “No.”

  “No?” he questions, sliding his hands between my legs, opening up my folds with his fingers, testing how ready I am for him. “I think you’re enjoying this, you’re so wet,” he comments, applying just the right amount of pressure on my clit. I rotate my hips trying to maximize the sensation but he’s not in the mood to make this easy on me. I let out a frustrated sigh when he stops.

  “What’s the matter baby, you don’t like not having a choice? Getting only what I choose to give you?”

  “Luca please,” I beg, I get what he’s doing, I know what this is about, and I’m not above begging.

  “Shhh,” he whispers, slipping two fingers inside of me. “I know. I’m driving you a little bit crazy huh?” He is, I’m moaning now, his fingers are working me in just the right way, exactly where I need him and when I’m so so close he pulls out of me, leaving me panting and reaching for more. As the sensations subside my breathing starts to regulate again, and he runs the tip of his index finger along my folds again getting it wet. Abruptly he slips his finger into my ass making me scream out at the invasion. Gently he begins sliding his finger in and out. I start to get used to it and begin to enjoy it. I close my eyes again reveling in the sensations, and his other arm slides under me around my waist and he kisses my shoulder as he begins to massage my clit. I’m right there again, right on the verge of an intense orgasm, and I know, I just know that he’s going to stop any second now.

  “Please Luca, please let me come,” I beg not caring that I sound like a desperate needy woman, not even a little bit. All I know is that I’m close to bliss, and I need him to take me there. He stops again making me cry out in frustration.

  “Unh uh,” he says giving me a slap on the ass. “Not yet. I want to feel you first.”

  He tugs at the panties binding my hands pulling me back slightly, angling me to his liking and then slamming into me.

  “Oh fuck,” I scream. He caught me off guard, I didn’t expect for him to go that fast and hard. The slither of pain subsides and is replaced by nothing but pleasure. I rear back as he thrusts, meeting his every stroke, intensifying the sensations for both of us.

  “That’s it baby,” he praises, placing one hand on my stomach and wrapping the other one around my hair using it as a rein. He pulls me up wrapping his hand at my stomach around my torso. He pulls out almost completely before slamming into me again. God it feels good, it’s always amazing with Luca. He is the only person I’ve ever been able to be one hundred percent myself with. He’s the one who makes me feel free, uninhibited, especially in moments like this when it’s intense and raw, the times when I should feel shy or self conscious but instead I feel strong and beautiful, unafraid. That’s what Luca gives to me.

  He releases his grasp on my hair, and I throw my head back using him as an anchor.

  I mumble incoherently, “Luca I’m close.”

  He gets it, understands what I need, and he’s feeling generous now. He kisses my exposed neck and uses his free hand to apply pressure on my clit, stroking it with just the right rhythm.

  “Oh God,” I whimper. I feel it climbing, starting to build up inside of me.

  He slows his hands, holding me back ever so slightly. “You’re mine,” he says roughly in my ear.

  “Yes,” I respond trying to hold onto the rush of pleasure just about to peak.

  “Say it Everly.”

  “I’m yours,” I cry out, and I mean it. I’m his if he’ll still have me. I don’t really care who tries to come between us or what anyone else thinks. Being away from him is a torture that I never want to experience again, not as long as I can help it.

  “That’s my good girl,” he says, circles my clit one last time, and with a final thrust I’m there, gone, lost to the powerful orgasm that rocks through me. I feel him thrust one, two, three more times before he joins me coming just as hard as me. We fall forward onto the bed, a tangle of body parts and heavy breathing.

  I’m vaguely aware of the minutes ticking by; I barely register my wrists being set free and my body being turned toward his. My eyes flutter open, and I get my first real look at him. His eyes lock with mine and I’m winded—I’m hit with a physical pain in my chest, sadness for what I’ve put us through. I look at him and see nothing but good, nothing but love and life and happiness. It’s everything I’ve ever wanted, and I actually gave it up, threw it away. My eyes fill with tears, there’s no use in trying to stop them from falling; they’re justified.

  “I’m so sorry,” I say through the tears.

  He wipes away at my tears, but they keep coming. “Don’t cry.”

  “I was so stupid. I knew I was just being stubborn, I thought I was doing the right thing by not letting you sacrifice your career for me, but really I was just protecting myself. It was easier to get through the pain when I caused it myself.”

  “I know.”

  “I miss you.”

  “I’m right here,” he says calming me only slightly.

  “You’re not angry with me?”

  “Baby, I just fucked all the anger out of me.”

  I look at him for just a second measuring his reaction. His eyes are light with humor, the air in the room getting lighter as we both break out into laughter. He pulls me closer to him, and I take the opportunity to burrow closer as the laughter subsides.

  “I need you to trust me enough to let me make my own decisions. When you heard me tell Michael to do what he wanted, I meant that. I don’t give a shit about a job; I know what it’s like to live without the person you want. I’d rather have you than a job any day. What would ever make you think I’d choose differently?”

  “Stupidity?”

  “Ev.”

  “So that’s it? You’re just going to ruin your career to be with me.”

  “I would have, yes, but I don’t think that’s really necessary anymore.”

  “Why not?”

  “Morgan can be relentless, let’s just leave it at that for now.”

  My eyes must show my surprise, he strokes my tear stained cheek. “That girl loves you very much. She’ll do anything for you.”

  “I guess I owe her.”

  He strokes my cheek again. It’s a simple touch, but with him the simplest things have the most profound effect on me. “You need to make a decision now Everly. I’m done with the bullshit. You need to choose whether you want to be with me or not.”

  I open my mouth to reply, but he covers it with his fingers.

  “And if you choose to be with me, that’s it, you’re moving in with me, we’re getting married, and putting all this behind us.”

  My heart starts to race and I sit up quickly, not caring that I’m still totally naked. “Are you asking me to marry you?” I ask in disbelief.

  He wraps an arm around my waist and rolls onto his back, taking me with him. I’m straddling him, and I feel his arousal growing again. “Are you saying yes?”

  “Yes.” I don’t even think about it, I just answer him because I know it’s right—he’s my future. He’s the one I’m meant to be with—I know it with everything I am.

  He leans up, places a kiss on my lips, and in his stealthy Luca way slides into me all in one motion. I let out a gasp when he starts to move his hips. “Then I guess we’re getting married.”

  “Alright then,” I agree with a whimper. He thrusts into me again leaving me no time to think about what just transpired. This is the way he’s choosing to celebrate our engagement and who the hell am I to tell him otherwise?

  “Alright,” he says with a smug grin, lifti
ng my hands up and placing them on the headboard. He jackknifes up to a sitting position, never breaking the connection, never letting me go—taking control, the way that only he can. I just hold on tight and enjoy the ride because that’s all you can do with a man like Luca.

  We’re laying in bed together a little while later, still naked, sated, and a little sweatier than before. My mind is working on overdrive thinking about all the shit that needs to happen now that we’re actually getting married.

  “Luca.”

  His hand stroking my back comes to a stop. “Hmm?”

  “I signed a lease here, paid the whole year in advance.”

  I let out an involuntary sigh as the stroking of my back resumes. “Your fiancé is a lawyer, don’t sweat it.”

  “Maybe we should just live here for a year,” I suggest, thinking that it wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It’s small but really it’s around the same size as his apartment and his lease will be up before mine so it would be easier for him to get out of his.

  “Can’t we’re closing on the house next week.”

  I lift my head off of his chest bringing us face to face. “Really? You bought it anyway.”

  “I did. I figured I needed a house anyway, and I guess part of me hoped you’d come back.”

  I was so stupid. I almost let this slip through my hands and I would have had no one to blame but myself. “Isn’t it too late to add me on the mortgage?”

  “Your fiancé is a lawyer, don’t sweat it,” he says with a chuckle.

  “Is that going to be your answer for everything now?” I tease, shoving his chest. He chuckles but says nothing, just shakes his head. “So I should stop unpacking.”

  “Yes,” he replies, pushing my head down so that it’s resting on his chest again. I feel my eyelids start to get heavy after a little while but I call his name before I drift off.

  “Luca.”

  “Hmm?”

  “I love you,” I tell him, snuggling up closer to him.

  “I love you too baby,” I hear him say just as my eyelids close.

  2 Months Later

  ~Luca~

  It’s been hectic the last few months. I’m getting slammed at work, and between getting Everly out of her lease, getting her moved out, closing on this house, and then moving in, I’m glad to finally be settled in. Things between us have been amazing, every day she blossoms a little bit more, coming into her own and feeling confident about what we have. We never did hear from Mr. West again, but Mrs. West reached out to Everly to let her know she had taken care of the situation. I don’t know what she said to him, but I’m grateful to her for getting him to back off.

  I’m out on the patio working on my laptop and drinking a cup of coffee when I hear the glass slider open. I look up to see Everly walking outside wearing tight black yoga pants and little navy blue sweater, taking a bite out of a banana, the diamond engagement ring I gave her a few weeks ago sparkling in the morning sunlight. I should really tell her not to wear shit like that around me, it only makes me want to fuck the shit out of her and the banana doesn’t help the situation. I glance at her face taking in her slightly bloodshot eyes.

  “Are you okay?” I question, putting down my coffee cup.

  She shrugs her shoulder and pulls up the chair next to mine. I smile when she brings up her feet to rest on my lap. “I feel like shit today. I just threw up again; I think I need to go see the doctor.”

  It’s a struggle to hold back my laughter; this is my Everly, completely brilliant and other times totally clueless. I’ve been trying to let her figure this shit out on her own because really it’s amusing but clearly I need to fill her in. “Babe, I have to tell you something.”

  “What?” She questions tilting her head.

  I cock my head to the side locking eyes with her and smile. “You're pregnant.”

  “No I’m not!” she declares, pulling her feet off of my lap. I can see the exact moment when the panic starts to set in. I should probably tread carefully here, but I really love when I shock the shit out of her. It doesn’t happen often so I have to savor it when it does.

  “You threw up what, five minutes ago? And now you're out here eating that banana like it's no big deal. We had unprotected sex that day we got back together. You remember that right?”

  “It was one time,” she yells, like a hostile witness on the stand and all I can do is tilt my head up to the sky and pray for patience. Denial and Everly are close friends, but this is a bit much.

  “Didn't you sit through sex education in high school? That's all it takes baby. Plus it was actually two times.”

  “That’s because you didn’t use a condom.”

  “That’s because I thought you were still on the pill.” We can do this all day; it wouldn’t be the first time.

  “I can't be pregnant Luca; I'm supposed to start school in a few weeks.”

  This is where it gets tricky. “You told me you weren't even sure if you wanted to go to school now.”

  “Yeah but still, I’m undecided,” she says, taking a final bite of her banana.

  She’s not going to school, I know it and she knows it. She’s not really too torn up about it either. She wouldn’t be lounging in a deck chair polishing off fruit if she was that upset about this whole situation. I think law school was something that she felt like she had to do for Tyler but as she comes more and more into her own I think she’s realizing that it’s not as important to her as she once thought it was. If I thought it was what she really wanted I’d push her into it, I’d figure out a way to make it possible, even with a baby but it’s not.

  I give her a minute to let it sink in before I state the obvious again. “You're pregnant.”

  She smiles and nods her head. “Yeah, I am.”

  “We’ll go get you a test so we can be sure.”

  “We're not even married yet!” She points out with a giggle.

  “So we'll get married.” It’s not the end of the world, whether the baby comes first or the wedding does, it’ll all be fine.

  “I don’t want a wedding though, been there done that. Maybe just us and our parents at the courthouse.”

  “Okay,” I agree quickly. I could care less about having a huge wedding; in fact I prefer that we not have one. I’m all for a simple laidback event.

  “Oh and Morgan too,” she says, breaking into my thoughts.

  “Of course.” I push my chair back, reach out for her hand and pull her into my lap. She comes willingly; snuggling up to me, she places her head in the crook of my neck.

  “What am I going to do for work?” she wonders out loud.

  “You can always come back to the law firm. They want you back. I told Harvey we were together, and he didn't care, it's not like we work that closely together anyway.” They would love to get her back at work, the place isn’t the same without her there—too much shit falls through the cracks.

  “This is true.”

  I place a kiss on top of her head and give her a little squeeze. “Or you can not work,” I suggest. Yes I said it, I know…I’m a Neanderthal but she knows that shit and she loves me anyway.

  She pulls her head back and glares up at me. “You would just love that wouldn’t you?”

  See, she knows me. “Yes, I would love that; I would love for you to stay home with our baby for a while. That doesn’t make me a bad person,” I say in my defense. She rolls her eyes but settles back into me.

  “I could be down with that, maybe come back to the firm for now and then stay home for a while once the baby is born. It gives me plenty of time to think about what I want to do, and I know myself. I wouldn’t want to leave our baby if I didn’t have to.”

  “I like that. You know I’d never stand in the way of you and anything that you wanted.”

  She tilts her head back. Her eyes meet mine, and I swear I can see through her in that moment, I can see the hope in them, the love, the happiness. I love knowing that I played a part in that, that she looks at me and sees th
at I’m the right man for her. It’s more than I could have hoped for where Everly is concerned because in another lifetime I was nothing more than the wrong man, a secondary character in another man’s story. I see now that it had to be that way, that we had to see how fucking horrific life can be at times so that we would be able to appreciate what we finally found in each other. I’ll spend my life giving her everything that she should have had in that other life and praying to God every day that she thinks I’ve given her a better one. In the beginning I thought that she needed someone to save her, that she needed me to save her, but the truth is she didn’t need that. What she really needed was love, to know that there was someone in the world who wanted her above all else.

  ~Everly~

  As promised, Luca took me to the drug store earlier to get a home pregnancy test… I bought three. Luca stopped, looked at me in disbelief, then looked up to the sky and walked away. I just rolled my eyes and followed him to the cash register. Now it’s been confirmed, he only let me take two of the three tests, but I can now say for certain that I’m pregnant. When I saw the positive tests, I couldn’t control it, I instantly burst into tears. Luca just pulled me into our bed and held me tight, letting me have my breakdown. I was afraid that he would think I wasn’t happy about our baby but he knew, just like he always knows exactly what I’m thinking.

  “You never thought you’d get the chance to be a mom did you?” he asked.

  “No. I thought that dream died a long time ago. I thought it died with Tyler. I just can’t believe it’s actually happening.”

  “It’s happening. We’ll have two or three babies in a couple of years, how’s that sound?”

  “And a dog.”

  “And a dog.”

  “Thank you, for driving me crazy and bringing me back to myself. You’re the love of my life Luca,” I said, thinking that the last time I spoke those words they weren’t exactly true. They weren’t a lie either; they were just uttered on borrowed time.