Love Lessons (Brotherly Love Book 3) Read online

  In one movement, I cupped the back of his head with my palm and leaned toward him. Then I stopped and looked deep into his wide eyes.

  “Is this okay?” My voice came out strained, so I tried again. “Or can I only kiss you when Eli is watching?”

  Gray hesitated for a very long time, and the world fell into slow motion around us. Then his breathing increased, and he shook his head.

  And I needed no further invitation.

  I pressed my lips against his with the full force of the passion I felt for him, stroking the inside of his mouth with my tongue and sucking his lower lip into my mouth with a gentle tug.

  When I drew back, we were both breathing rapidly. “I’ll see you later,” I promised him, and I turned to jog toward my car.

  My thoughts conflicted and collided. Fuck me. I’d crossed a line. I’d crossed a line that I didn’t know if I could step back over.

  And worse, I didn’t really care.

  Frustration roared through my veins as I finally headed home after a fool’s errand to my office. I’d reached work and Coop had met me, his face a mixture of relief and embarrassment. Apparently, the big investment we were working on had him so stressed that he’d transposed two of the digits in the investment figure and he couldn’t make any of the math work from that moment on.

  He’d phoned earlier in a sheer panic as his calculations of how much Hayes Financial stood to lose mounted up, and no matter how he reworked things, it never seemed like anything but a bad investment.

  “I’m so sorry I pulled you away from your evening,” he told me, and I’d hidden my grimace.

  Leaving Gray had felt like so much more than leaving just a simple evening. It felt like we were teetering on a big decision, or a big transition, and I didn’t want to interrupt a moment of it.

  But I’d clapped Coop on the shoulder. “You did the right thing.” And he had. I always said I wanted people to come to me with any worries rather than concealing issues or hiding mistakes away, and I couldn’t fault him for his swift reaction to what he perceived was a very big problem.

  “But I never do this.” He scrubbed his face with his hands. “I always check my figures and check again.”

  “It’s fine, dude. We resolved it, and we’ve double- and triple-checked. If we aren’t ready to press go now, we never will be.” I laughed. “Now go home and get some sleep. You look like you could use it.”

  I sighed again and pressed on the gas pedal. It was too late to even call Gray now, so I could consider my evening pretty much ruined, regardless of what I’d told Coop back at the office. Shit. And I’d so wanted to take Grady back to my place… Cook for him if he wanted to eat, kiss him if he was hungry but not for food.

  My dick stiffened, and I groaned. For fuck’s sake. It had been a very long time since I had so little control that I got a hard-on just from the memory of a kiss. At least I was nearly home, and I wouldn’t need to drive down the road with a Grady-inspired erection for much longer. But it almost ached, and the urge to take my cock in my hand was almost too much to bear. I swept my hand across it to try to stem my desire, but the small touch sent a pulse right through me. I gasped.

  Then I gritted my teeth and focused on the road. It would do me no good at all if I got pulled over for erratic driving and some cop found me jerking my cock. But dammit, I wanted to.

  I squealed into a parking spot, and on a normal day I’d have admired my Fast and Furious inspired driving style, but it wasn’t a normal day. It was far too late at night, I had a huge, throbbing cock, and I needed the privacy of my house and a tube of lube.

  A cold shower wouldn’t solve this, and neither would going to bed and trying to ignore it.

  I fumbled my key into the lock and shoved my door open before stumbling into my home. I unbuckled my belt and stripped my pants off almost before I closed the door and flipped the lock. Then I grasped my cock through the soft fabric of my boxer-briefs and groaned as a drop of precum made a small wet spot.

  I gasped. Fuck. I wanted Grady so much. I wanted him in my hand, in my mouth… And I wanted to take him. I wanted to fuck him until I was the only thought in his head, my name the only word he could remember. I’d take him bent over my desk, one hand buried in his soft blond hair as my cock pumped in and out of his hole.

  I staggered against the wall, my back pressed up against it to take my weight as I pushed my underwear out of the way and ran the tip of my forefinger up the underside of my dick from base to tip.

  I shuddered and locked my knees. I didn’t have time to draw things out. I wanted to come, and I wanted to think about Grady as I did it.

  I reached into the dresser drawer to my right. If I remembered right, I’d thrown an old bottle of lube to the back of this drawer. I scrabbled around. Yep, there it was. I squeezed a blob onto my palm and rubbed it around my hand, closing my eyes in anticipation of how good my lubed-up hand would feel sliding up and down my cock.

  I bit my lip as hard as I could stand and rubbed my thumb over the head of my cock. My knees almost gave way at the rush of pure lust.

  Fuck it. I wrapped my fingers around my cock and slid my fist up and down in one smooth motion, then again, avoiding the head, teasing myself with nearly but not quite touches.

  But that wasn’t going to last long. My balls tightened, and I wouldn’t be able to prolong my orgasm much longer, so I drew my hand all the way up my cock, adding a twisting motion over the head and I exhaled a long breath through my gritted teeth.

  Then I did it again, and faster until my breaths came in spurts and I could barely think. I could only feel as tension gripped me, winding tighter and tighter. My breathing caught and held, and I spurted cum into my hand.

  I huffed out a laugh as some of it dripped onto the tile. Then I imagined Grady, eyes wide with surprise at seeing me in this predicament, and I laughed harder. Holy Jesus, I needed to fuck that guy for real.

  11

  Grady

  The usual craziness of the Caldwell family dinner buzzed around me, but although I smiled in all the right places and nodded appropriately in most of the others, I just wasn’t feeling it. I felt like an observer, when usually I’d be front and center of the teases.

  I looked up from my bowl where I was doing little more than pushing my last mouthful of Mom’s apple pie around in lazy circles and caught her thoughtful stare as it rested on me.

  I flashed my usual lazy grin, but it just pulled at my cheeks, probably emerging more as a grimace.

  She pulled one side of her mouth down in disapproval. “I expected you to bring a guest today, Grady.”

  “Really?” I shrugged and tried for innocence, but her mouth tightened, indicating I’d failed.

  “You can’t hide Rome away from us forever, you know. I set him a place, and everything.”

  I glanced guiltily at the unused plate and cutlery to my right. “As long as you didn’t buy a new table in expectation, or anything.”

  “Hey!” Jamie called from the other end of it. “You know she only just bought a new one of these.” He tapped on the wood with his palm.

  Next to him, Nico waved to me, and I relaxed into a genuine grin. When Jamie had invited Nico to join us one day, Mom had made room, but it had been a tight squeeze. And apparently she never intended that to be an issue again, because now we had a table that barely seemed to fit into the room, but at least we all fit around it.

  “Well?” Mom almost seemed to be tapping her foot in expectation, and I refocused.

  “I’m sorry, did you ask me a question?”

  She sighed and, as they so often seemed to, the rest of my family fell quiet at the worst possible time, indicating they were all listening to Mom’s and my conversation.

  “Where is Rome?”

  Saint chuckled, and my gaze lingered on where his fingers were interlaced with Brax’s on top of the table.

  “You might as well just answer her, dude,” he said. “She’s not going to drop this anytime soon.”

&nbs
p; “Saint, behave.” Mom’s eyes narrowed as she addressed him, but then she returned the full force of her attention to me. “Will you be bringing him next week?”

  I glanced around the table and met Adrian’s wide eyes. Only he knew the truth. I shook my head slightly. Now wasn’t the time for me to make a family announcement pertaining to a fake relationship. Not in front of everyone, and not with Mom already so overinvested.

  “I can ask,” I hedged. “But he’s a busy guy so…”

  “He might be working.” Adrian jumped in and finished my sentence then slapped his hand over his mouth like he hadn’t meant to do that.

  Mom turned to him, and I could almost see the area of her brain that seemed to be part CIA operative flash to life. “And what do you know about it, Adrian?” Her voice seemed a little too soft, a touch too sweet.

  Alert! Alert! I tried to telegraph the danger to Adrian. Mom was on a fact-finding mission.

  But Adrian was on it. “Just simple math.” He shrugged. “Gray mentioned Rome’s a busy guy, and where else would he be busy but at his company, Hayes Financial?”

  Mom nodded. “But you’d at least think he’d want to get to know us.”

  Saint chuckled again, and Dad poured Mom another glass of wine.

  “Maybe some guys are more comfortable being introduced to the Caldwell clan gradually?” Dad suggested. He gestured at all of us. “I mean, I can see us founding our own small town soon.”

  Mom took a sip of her wine, seeming only slightly mollified. “Well, just don’t try to keep him away too much longer. You know I’ve always liked Rome. He’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

  I nodded, feeling like the world’s biggest liar and the world’s worst son. Two records in the duration of one family dinner. I was on a roll.

  After dinner, I couldn’t get to Adrian fast enough. “Start clearing the table,” I murmured. “Send Mom and Dad to relax. I need a brothers’ moment in the kitchen.”

  “Right.” Adrian nodded. He glanced around, looking sneaky. “And brother’s partners?”

  I drew in a deep breath and pushed it back out. “No, Adrian. If that many of us try to congregate in the kitchen, we might as well send the bat signal up that tells Mom she’s missing something.”

  He nodded. “Gotcha.”

  In short order, Adrian had all of us gathered in the kitchen, and I stood at the dishwasher, stacking the used dishes inside it.

  “Find a job to do,” I muttered. “If Mom comes, we need to at least look busy.”

  Adrian grabbed a dishtowel, and Saint hoisted himself to sit on the counter.

  “Dude.” Adrian nudged Saint.

  Saint shook his head. “Nuh. Mom will be more suspicious if I’m busy, guys. Got to play it like this.” He handed Leo and Jamie a cloth each.

  Kairo laughed. “True that.” Then he looked at me. “So why are we all doing the secret squirrel thing in the kitchen anyway, bro?”

  “Guys.” I hesitated as a fork slipped past the basket and into the bottom of the machine and paused to retrieve it before I continued. “Okay.” I turned to Jamie. “You know how you had a crush on Nico, like, forever?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “Is it the same for you and Rome?”

  All of my brothers knew we’d been to Elsdon House together, so that was a logical reaction.

  “No.” I shook my head. “No, not at all. My crush was on Eli.”

  “What?” Jamie’s lips parted as if he had something else to say.

  “Yeah, and Eli told everyone at Gray’s party about getting engaged so Rome stepped in to rescue Grady and now they’re pretending to be together.” Adrian clapped his hand over his mouth again, and I glared at him.

  “Finished?”

  He nodded, his eyes wide. “Sorry,” he squeaked.

  “Is that true?” Kairo’s smooth deep voice filled the kitchen, and I motioned him to be quieter.

  I leaned toward the door, listening to the strains of jazz music coming from the living room. Every now and again, Mom laughed, so I guessed we were safe, hidden around the corners here—one of the few places that couldn’t be seen directly through the glass walls that seemed to have been used for the majority of the house.

  “No.” I paused. “Well, yeah. Yeah, it is.”

  “Dude.” Leo whistled. “Mom is going to be so pissed.”

  “How did Adrian know?” Jamie asked.

  “Gray told me the morning after,” Adrian chipped in, and I glared at him.

  “What? Why did you tell Adrian?” Jamie asked the question, but the rest of my brothers leveled a range of stares at me, from cool to irritated.

  “It’s no big deal,” Kairo finally said. “We all need that one person who knows everything and who helps us sort through stuff, right?”

  Saint nodded. “We’re lucky to have so many to choose from.”

  I sighed. “My guy outside family is usually Rome—he gives great advice. But I can’t ask him about… Well, himself, right? And I really need advice. You’re the only ones I can trust to tell me exactly how it is.”

  “What advice do you need?” Saint watched me, and his eyes were absent of his usual humor.

  I only saw concern, and my chest tightened for a moment at the care radiating from all of my brothers. Even Mason and Julian, who were slowly clearing everything from the table, paused to lean against a chair or the wall and listen.

  “I’m so tied up,” I blurted. “I mean, we’re pretending and it all feels like lies. Like it’s disrespecting our history and our friendship… And last night he kissed me. In front of Eli. Not in front of Eli. Just kisses and I—” I stopped abruptly, unsure where I was going.

  “Come here, dude.” Kairo wrapped his arms around me, and I relaxed against him, a puddle of relief and uncertainty against my most dependable brother.

  Confusion brought a rush of tears to my eyes, but I blinked them back. If Kairo had me, the world was okay.

  “You know.” Adrian’s voice was hesitant, and when I turned to him, his face was thoughtful. “I’m pretty sure Rome has actual feelings for you. And this might be his way of trying to find his way into your heart, too.”

  “Really?” It seemed so unlikely. Rome was a successful CEO and I was a third-grade teacher. The world was his oyster in the most real sense—he could have any guy he wanted. If he advertised, they’d form a line around the block to audition.

  Adrian nodded. “Yeah.” Then he chuckled. “It’s actually why I told you I couldn’t wait to see how it all played out when you first called me. Rome’s playing a dangerous game with his heart, but maybe he thinks it’s a risk worth taking.”

  “It makes sense.” Jamie grinned. “After all, it isn’t unheard of that the people you grow up knowing become more important to you as you get older.”

  But surely Rome and I weren’t at all like Jamie and Nico? “Jamie, not everyone is a romance waiting to happen,” I said.

  “You think so?” Saint grinned wryly. “It can happen when you least expect it.”

  Kairo loosened his hold around me. “I think you need to at least consider it as a possibility,” he said.

  “Oh, shit,” I groaned.

  “What?” Leo widened his eyes. “Would it really be so bad if a guy like Rome loved you?”

  I shook my head. “He’s been my go-to guy for so long. I’ve told him in detail—” Excruciating detail, to be exact “—about how I’ve felt about Eli over the years. How could he even stand to listen?”

  “I rest my case,” Adrian muttered. “Only someone who truly loves you would want to listen to that kind of crap for you.” He made a puking motion with his fingers, and I shoved his shoulder.

  “Idiot.” And that much was true. Adrian was an idiot, but everything started making much more sense. I groaned again. “Rome hates Eli… really hates him. They’re both so hostile to each other these days.”

  “Well, there you go.” Adrian shrugged. “That’s more evidence as far as I’m concerned.” He glanced
around at our brothers, and a couple of them nodded.

  I slid another plate into the dishwasher then opened the cupboard under the kitchen sink to find a tablet. Once the dishwasher started with a familiar rumble sound, I turned back to my brothers.

  “So, what am I supposed to do?” The uncertainty of the situation left me hollow. The whole thing suddenly felt really fragile, like I could lose Rome if I didn’t get my actions and reactions right.

  Saint shook his head. “I’m not sure I’m the right guy to ask. Brax and I didn’t exactly take the easy route to true love.”

  “Same.” Jamie raised his hand. “In fact, I did some really dumb shit, and nearly lost Nico for good.”

  “Fabulous.” I pushed my hand through my hair. “So that means the only people able to advise me are my straight brothers or the single ones?” I laughed. “I love you all dearly but you’re hopeless.”

  “Love’s love, bro,” Mason said, his quiet voice a surprise. Usually the rest of us talked so much to each other that Mason and Julian got left to their own devices and their families.

  “Yeah, and you’re kind of a drama llama about it,” Julian supplied, although he grinned to soften the insult. “You need to make a decision about what you want then go for it. And remember, we often regret the things we don’t do.”

  That made sense and I nodded.

  “But Mom’s going to send out a search party for her sons if some of us don’t head back soon. Come on, Leo. You’ve got an early morning, so you can help us distract everyone by leaving.”

  Leo’s face fell. “Why do I always miss out on the good stuff?”

  Julian shrugged. “Because I say so.” Then he laughed. “Come on, doofus. Let Grady have his dramatic finale in relative peace.”

  “I’ll come too,” Jamie said. “I don’t want Nico thinking I’ve left out the back door or something.”

  “Tell Brax I’ll be right there,” Saint said as four of my brothers left the room.

  I looked at the ones remaining. “Well?”

  “It comes down to this.” Adrian put his most serious face on, and I nearly laughed.