A Battle Lord’s Heart Read online

Page 17


  “Good heavens, Atty, what do you think you’re doing?”

  “Enjoying the warm sunshine,” she answered, neither moving nor opening her eyes.

  “You’re bare-ass naked.”

  “Good eye, Yulen. The heat feels good on my stitches. Care to join me?”

  To her surprise, a clinic blanket was draped over her. Making a face, she lifted her head and opened her eyes to give her husband an annoyed look. “I wasn’t going to fall asleep this way. I just wanted some sun. Besides, the window’s way up high. No one can see in unless they’re over eight feet tall.”

  She watched as her husband sat on the edge of the bed, next to her feet, and crossed his arms over his chest. “What if it had been Liam? Or Click coming in?”

  She snorted again. “Oh, like they don’t know what I look like without my clothes on? Geez, Yulen! They’ve seen parts of me even I haven’t seen!”

  Her last statement made him grin. Atty had made a remarkable recovery in the past week, especially with the help of Click’s medical expertise. Both Yulen and Atty knew they owed their lives to this compound, and it was a debt they intended to repay.

  “Okay,” he relented. “Then let’s just say I have a personal reason for covering you. And requesting that you not do it again.”

  She wrinkled her nose at him. “You haven’t got a jealous bone in your body, Yulen D’Jacques. So why can’t I sunbathe in my birthday suit?”

  “Because you provide too much of a temptation to me, and we both know neither one of us is ready or able to resume that part of our relationship just yet.”

  Atty met his steady gaze with her surprised one. This was one topic that had not come up in all the time they were convalescing. In the back of her mind, she knew it eventually would. But since he had broached the subject first...

  “How are you feeling, my love?” she inquired in a more serious tone of voice.

  Yulen nodded. “I’m doing very well. In fact, I found out I’m doing much better than I originally thought.”

  “Oh?” One dark blue eyebrow went up.

  He sighed and scratched under his jaw. “Don’t worry about it, Atty. I’ll be okay.”

  “No. It’s not okay. You’re my husband, and I love you. I would do anything for you.”

  “And you just gave birth to our son,” Yulen quickly interceded. “Plus you ruptured a blood vessel during delivery. It’s going to take a few weeks before we can make love again. Not until Liam thinks you’ve healed enough.”

  There. It was out in the open.

  “But you’re starting to get those feelings again, aren’t you?” she asked softly. No wonder he had covered her up. “I’m sorry,” she apologized.

  “Don’t be. Shall we talk about something less stressful? Like...going home?”

  She was up and in his arms at the announcement. The blanket slipped, revealing her satiny back and buttocks as she threw her arms around his neck to hug him. Atty felt his arms go around her, then suddenly stop and withdraw. Surprised, she pulled back and tried to look into his eyes, but he avoided her gaze. Neither could she miss the tell-tale clenching of his jaws.

  “Well, this is quite a pickle we’re in, isn’t it?” she breathed.

  He tried to laugh it off. “Forget about it, Atty.”

  Curious, she leaned forward against him, rubbing her newer, rounder, fuller breasts along his chest as she placed a soft kiss on his chin. This time she felt a definite tremor go through him, and he grabbed her arms to push her away. Looking down at his lap, she saw visible evidence of his arousal. “Yul, how long have you been this way?”

  “Atty, let’s not talk about it ri—”

  “We have to talk about it,” she insisted. “This is something new for us. I mean, at least it’s something new for me. To be quite blunt, I’m not feeling particularly amorous at the moment.”

  “And you won’t,” he told her. “Not for a few more weeks. Right now your body is doing what nature created you to do. You’re the mother of our son. You’re feeding him, caring for him, and all your energy is focused toward doing that. As it should be. And that’s not taking into consideration the trauma your body went through when you went into premature labor.” He patted her arm, and Atty found herself not liking that kind of endearment from him. “Give it time, my love. We’ll have our moment soon enough.”

  “And what are you going to do about your...um...needs, in the meantime?”

  Yulen smiled after a short hitch in his throat. “What other men in my condition have done since time began.” He didn’t elaborate, but Atty got the impression it was a matter where she wouldn’t be involved. A tender smile came over her.

  “I think that’s one of the sweetest things you’ve ever said to me,” she confessed. Even his puzzled expression was endearing. “After I got fat, and irritable, and all waddly. And then you saw me being cut open and all that messiness that went with it. And now I’m standing here still bloated and stitched up tighter than a hog for a celebration barbeque... you’re telling me you still find me desirable?” She was rewarded with a boyish grin.

  “Atrilan, let me tell you something. When we first met, you were gawky, gangly, skinny as hell, like a stick with long blue hair. After we were married, and Berta took you on as her personal crusade, you changed. You filled out, you lost that gangliness, and your movements became smoother, more assured. You became...sexy.”

  His hands moved from her arms to her face. His thumbs traced little semi-circles beneath her jaw as he lightly kissed her. “Then you became pregnant. Your skin took on this incredible sheen that you haven’t lost. Your hair became thicker, your eyes brighter. Even the pitch of your voice dropped a little, so now it’s a bit huskier. Definitely, definitely more alluring. Yes, you still have a little paunch around your tummy. A little more roundness to your hips. Your breasts were perfect before, but now they’re incredible. My God, Atrilan. You went from sexy to breathtaking, and then several notches above that. Do I desire you? Damn right, I do. That’s why, at this very moment, I’m wishing I was still needing a few more days’ recovery time, because when I was too sick to do anything but eat and sleep, and my body had nothing to do except worry about healing itself, sex was way at the bottom of my list of necessities.”

  He kissed her, branding her mouth with his, to show her how far his need for her went. Atty tried to kiss him back with the same desperation, but there was no way she could disguise her lack of passion. Her body just wouldn’t respond, no matter how hard she tried. When Yulen regretfully drew back, she murmured a thoroughly disgusted, “Shit.” He burst out laughing.

  “What if...” She bit her lower lip. “There were those methods Tory told me about. I could make you happy with my mouth. I mean I could—”

  He quickly cut her short, although she could tell that the suggestion was not meeting any resistance. “Enough of that, Atty-cake. I would love to take you up on your offer, but this is neither the time or place. It’s time we pack our bags and catch the first caravan for Alta Novis tomorrow morning at dawn. Once we get home, I promise you can show me what Tory mentioned, and I can give you a few pointers on how to perfect that technique. How about it, my love? Ready to sleep in our own bed again?”

  “You damn right I am!”

  His eyes slid over to the small crib by the head of her bed. “So am I. We need to let Alta Novis know we have a son, and they have a future leader.”

  She nodded. It would indeed be a very unusual homecoming.

  * * * *

  As the cock crowed, signaling the coming sunrise, everyone in the compound gathered at the main gates to bid farewell to the Battle Lord and his Lady. Overhead, above the central lookout turret, a half-blue, half-red banner lay limp against the pole, waiting for the next March breeze.

  As a going-away gift, Atty was presented a hand-tooled leather carrier for her son. It had padded straps she could wear over her shoulders, enabling her to carry the infant either on her back, or in front where she could nurse him u
nobtrusively. Atty thanked the child who presented it to her with a kiss on the cheek.

  Yulen thanked everyone for their help and assistance during their time of great need, and promised to send a replacement battalion to begin re-fortification construction as soon as they arrived back at Alta Novis.

  The night before, Atty had assured her husband she could seat a saddle, but if it got too uncomfortable, she promised to transfer to the small wagon. So it was, before dawn topped the trees, one hundred and eighty-nine men, one woman, and one newborn infant left West Crestin on horseback. When Yulen gave the signal to increase speed, the nearly two hundred soldiers breathed a sigh of relief.

  The world had righted itself. Life was back the way it was meant to be, with the Battle Lord and Lady once more in total control.

  Chapter Nineteen

  His Eyes

  Yulen and Atty were in discussion, away from the main group, when MaGrath rode up. Seeing him approaching, they abruptly ceased their conversation and waited for him to join them. Their actions were not lost on the physician. “Go ahead and tell me to butt out, and leave you two alone,” he admitted. “I don’t have anything important to report. I’m just wanting some company.”

  “It can wait. What’s up, Liam?” Yulen asked.

  “Well, the men aren’t going to say anything because they trust you beyond a shadow of a doubt. I, on the other hand, can’t help but ask. Where the hell are we?”

  “Taking a short cut.”

  “No shit.”

  Chuckling, Yulen grinned. “The Council showed me a map with a quicker way back to Alta Novis without having to go back the way we came.”

  “You mean, back to Bearinger?”

  Yulen nodded. “It’s mostly through the forest, but it’s not as dense. Once we get to Fort Park, we’ll turn east. We should hit the main roadway within another day. Altogether, it’ll take a good two days off our trip home.”

  MaGrath scratched his head. “Fort Park? Another Mutah compound?”

  Atty made a face. “Yes and no. It’s not as big as a compound. It’s much smaller. No more than a hundred people, if that many.”

  “Then why have it if it’s so small? Why not incorporate it into a full-fledged compound?”

  “Because it’s the hub. It’s the..” She searched for the right word. “The...oh, damn, what’s the term? Mid-way?”

  “Mid-way between what?”

  “Mid-way between compounds. Our compounds are spread out like spokes in a wheel, if you look at their placement on a map,” she explained. “Fort Park is a resting place for those of us traveling from one compound to the next. It has an inn, a tavern, an eating establishment, and several stores where you can get clothing and the like. You can even trade in your horse for a fresh mount at the stables, if you need.” She grinned at him. “We don’t have a main roadway like you Normals do. Can’t be too obvious. It would be too dangerous.”

  “Well, you’re right about that,” MaGrath admitted

  A faint, muffled whimper came from the pouch strapped over Atty’s shoulders. Wordlessly, she handed Yulen the reins and reached inside the carrier, lowering the front of her gown so she could feed their son. Yulen lifted a corner of the leather covering to peer inside, earning a playful slap on the hand for his effort.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” she giggled.

  “Getting jealous.”

  MaGrath snorted with laughter.

  Several minutes passed as Atty nursed. Behind them the drone of the men talking was a familiar and strangely comforting background sound.

  MaGrath watched the couple unobtrusively, watching their interplay, their attentiveness toward each other. There was no mistaking the extent of their love. It was in every movement they made. In every meeting of their eyes. The furtive touches with their hands and their tone of voice when they spoke to each other said more than mere words could describe.

  His eyes traveled down to the leather carrier, noting the fine toolwork on the wide straps. For the first time he saw the embossed letters stamped across the middle of the carrier.

  MATTOX

  “Hey, I’ve got a question to ask you. A little birdie told me about that impromptu fencing match you had out on the practice field a while back. Yulen supposedly won some sort of bet that he would get to name my grandson without any interference from you, Atty. Yet, I distinctly remember you telling Yulen to name him Mattox.”

  “So what’s the question?” Atty nudged. She reached inside the carrier to switch the baby over to her other breast. As the infant latched onto the other nipple, an expression of contentment crossed her face, and she sighed. It was enough to make MaGrath smile again.

  “Whatever happened to the conditions of the bet?”

  “Well, some of your information is erroneous,” Yulen told him. “Yes, I won the bet, but the condition was that I would get to name him without Atty having any say-so whether she approved or disapproved of the name.” He cast a sidelong look of amusement at the physician. “I never said I wouldn’t take suggestions.”

  MaGrath turned to Atty. “Why ‘Mattox’?”

  She was long in responding. When she did, her voice was low. Mournful. “When I was a little girl, I once knew a boy named Mattox. He was so kind. He had a gentle soul. But he was diseased, and no one was allowed to play with him. His own parents gave him up. I felt sorry for him, so I’d creep out of the house and go over to his tent after dark, and we’d sit and tell stories to each other.” She paused. Inside the carrier, her hand caressed her son.

  “Mohmee found out I was going over there, and she forbid me to leave again. But I did anyway. He...he wasn’t like what they said. I just knew it. He had no other friends.”

  She suddenly bent over the pouch, her face pinched in grief. Silent sobs shook her shoulder. Yulen reached over to touch her shoulder. “What happened to him?” he asked gently.

  “He...he was diseased. Eventually they had to take him outside the compound and leave him there.” She broke down again, leaving them to guess the boy’s eventual outcome.

  “Sons of bitches,” MaGrath muttered under his breath.

  Slowly, Atty regained control of herself, wiping her eyes and nose with the sleeve of her gown. “I cried for days after they found what was left of his body. I swore I’d never forget him. If no one else on this earth cared nothing for him, at least I would. At least there would be one person who would keep his memory alive, one way or another.” Impulsively, she lifted her son from the pouch and kissed the dark downy hair on his head before laying him over her shoulder to burp him.

  They traveled another couple of miles in silence. Eventually MaGrath excused himself and returned to the middle of the caravan. Yulen took the moment to check the shift.

  “My love, I need to check-in with my men before we break for noon meal.”

  She nodded, watching as her husband drew back on his horse. The big Palomino stallion protested the bit for a second before wheeling around. The new mount was a gift to Yulen from West Crestin, and the Battle Lord had his hands full breaking it in.

  Left alone near the head of the line, Atty continued to hold her son tucked under her chin, allowing the gentle bobbing of the mare’s smooth gait to help her put him to sleep. She caught the faint whiff of his warmth mixed with his unique scent, along with her milk. It was enough to put her at ease as she allowed herself to drift back to that moment when she first met her new son. And discovered his specialness.

  * * * *

  The burning in her belly sent little knives of pain up through her body whenever she tried to turn over or change sleep positions. But lying on her back was a bitch. She had never been able to get comfortable that way.

  She gradually rolled onto her hip, and tried to lift her knees in order to obtain a more fetal-like curl. It was as if someone grabbed her skin at both hips and pulled outward.

  “Ow! Damn it!”

  Atty woke up to an early afternoon sun streaming through the high windows to find
herself in the clinic. And, oddly, in the same bed Yulen used to lie in when she’d brought him to West Crestin.

  The room was empty. Quiet.

  Instinctively, she felt for her round belly. She wondered if the baby was being overly rambunctious, which was what had hurt so much and woken her up.

  Her stomach was flat; her womb was empty.

  Sheer, stark terror ripped through her heart.

  She struggled to sit up, but the stitches in her lower abdomen dug in with thin, blackened fingers. Atty cried out from the pain, but more from the loss of child she had carried, nurtured, and come to love over the past few months.

  “Where’s my baby?” she wailed out loud, hoping someone would hear her and come running in to answer her question. To quell her worst fear—that she had lost the son she’d promised Yulen.

  Miraculously, she managed to swing her legs over the side of the bed, just as a tiny cry came from beneath her feet. She stopped, automatically pulling her legs back up in case an animal had gotten trapped inside the clinic and was crying to be let out.

  The thin wail came again, but as it rose in intensity and volume, Atty felt a new, strange, blossoming sensation occur in her body. Her breasts began to fill out, growing rounder and fuller as they responded to the cry. She whimpered at this new sensation, at this betrayal of her flesh. When she grasped the moon-shaped globes, her nipples taut with expectation, they felt as hard as rocks. And they were rapidly becoming more painful than the fire around her belly.

  The clinic door squeaked. Before she could comprehend the fact that someone had entered the outer office, Yulen was with her, calling out to her.

  “Atty? Atty, are you all right? We heard you yelling.” He sat on the bed next to her and tried to draw her into his embrace.